MARRIAGE EVENTS OF KEMPO ETHNICITY:

WITH A PARTICULAR REFERENCE TO THE ETHNOGRAPHY OF ‘SPEAKING’

BY DELL HYMES

Agustinus Semiun1, Fransiskus Bustan2, Feliks Tans3, Yeremias Siono4

Oktovianus E. Semiun5, Chatarina G. Semiun6, Thresia T. Semiun7
1,2,3
Universitas Nusa Cendana Kupang
4
STIPAS Keuskupan Agung Kupang
5,6
Universitas Widya Mandhira
7
Universitas Timor
Pos-el: agustinussemiun@gmail.com

Abstract
The present study describes the events in steps of getting married in the Kempo ethnicity,
West Flores. Observation, interviews, and making notes in ethnography research on cultural
anthropology are used to obtain the data. The study reveals that the people of Kempo ethnicity
have been practicing a monogamy marriage system, whether endogamy or exogamy,
differentiated into a marriage of a son and a daughter of different families called kala rana, and
of the two families having kinship relations since their ancestors called tungku, having the same
steps, tulak surak, tuke mbaru, and kawing adat, applying the Act sequence in the ethnography
of SPEAKING by Dell Hymes (1962, 1974). The steps have a similar sequence of events
communicated by two spokesmen, a pateng woe (PW) representing the young man’s families
and pateng ineame (PI) representing the girl’s families. Based on the data obtained the events
of tuke mbaru step are more unique since it includes cultural ritual events, slaughtering a white
male chicken called paki manuk to feed the ancestors of the PW and PI families called tai hang
ata le pa’ang, expecting the presence of the ancestors to protect the whole process of getting
married.
Keywords: ethnography of speaking; kempo ethnicity; marriage events

How to Cite (APA Style):

Semiun, A., Bustan, F., Tans, F., Siono, Y., Semiun, O. E., Semiun, C. G., & Semiun, T. T.
(2022). Marriage Events of Kempo Ethnicity: with a Particular Reference to the Ethnography of
‘Speaking’ by Dell Hymes. In R. H. Budhiono (Ed.), Prosiding Seminar Internasional Bahasa dan
Sastra Daerah II (Sinar Bahtera II) (pp. 95–109). Balai Bahasa Provinsi Kalimantan Tengah.

INTRODUCTION

Kempo ethnicity is one of the ethnic groups in the West Manggarai district, West Flores island,
Indonesia. The ethnicity uses the Kempo subdialect (Verheijen, 1977) as a medium of everyday
communication. Some studies on the subdialect have been done, but they are limited to the use of
the marker “IO” (yes) in communication to maintain politeness (Semiun, 2013), the terms of
address in daily communication for politeness (Semiun, 2018), and the soft words called
euphemisms for politeness (Semiun, 2020).
Anthropologically, Kempo ethnicity is different from those such as the way they earn life, the
way they raise animals, the way they interact, the way they treat people of other ethnicities, the
language they use, and the way they get married. One of the reasons that go with these facts is
the unfavorable geographical condition (Eller, 2015) where villages of the people of the ethnicity
are mostly on the slope of hills.
Nowadays, people of ethnicity are different from those in the past in many aspects. So many
are educated and work as administrative staff in offices. They also raise animals like cows,

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buffaloes, pigs, chickens, and so on for business. However, the traditional method of marriage is
still followed by their forefathers.
Because of their education, many people migrate to cities, other provinces, and even other
islands for work. It is interesting that the girls who fall in love with those of other ethnicities still
maintain the marriage process practiced in the Kempo ethnicity. Young male families should adapt
to the Kempo ethnicity's way of getting married; similarly, male families should adapt to the
ethnicity, the origin of the girl's way of getting married.
People of the Kempo ethnicity believe that getting married is an in-nature gift to breed and
live together. People cannot live without the presence of others. Humans are born with an instinct
to be with other humans. Such belief goes with what Santoso (2016) says that marriage is not only
based on the biological needs of a man and a woman but as the executor of the natural process of
human life. The mutual need is then legally tied to a marriage bond for a new generation (Yulia,
2016). So if there is no new generation, there is no marriage (Ogoma & Ebun, 2014). This is a
cultural belief generated by the ancestors of the people of Kempo ethnicity that has kept them from
divorcing. The sequence of events that proceeded in steps of getting married is believed as cultural
rituals practiced before the church marriage. This is a kind of permanent belief in marriage by
Rahiem & Rahim (2021).
The present study describes the traditional wedding culture practiced in the Kempo ethnicity,
regarded as the permanent belief, focusing on events that proceeded in the steps of getting
married, tulak surak (following a letter sent to), tuke mbaru (entering the house of the prospective
bride), and kawing adat (traditional getting married), concerning the ethnography of speaking by
Dell Hymes.
Anthropology talks about all aspects of the life of a certain community called an ethnicity,
including culture, wich is termed cultural anthropology. Prasojo (2013) says anthropology refers
to the science of humans and their culture. Exclusively, the American Anthropological Association
(2018) sees anthropology as a scientific analysis of cultures dealing with the origin, behavior,
physical, social, and cultural change of humans in any society. The anthropologists see humans
from many different aspects, including the way humans struggle for a life, deal with what to eat
and how to live healthily, how people interact with one another, and so on. Kempo ethnicity is an
example of this concept.
Meanwhile, Eriksen (2017:3) views anthropology as the comparative study of humans, their
societies, and their culture. According to this viewpoint, researching marriage wealth delivery can
be viewed as a comparison, examining the similarities and differences between ethnicities. Based
on these concepts, researching the Kempo ethnicity is a kind of comparison in anthropology about
the ways people of the Kempo ethnicity keep healthy, develop an economy, interact in society,
practice cultural events, and so on.
The way Eriksen sees anthropology matches what the Wikibooks say: anthropology studies
human nature, human society, and the human past and requires cultural facts or realities from
certain societies to compare with those of others (en.wikibooks.org). The present study describes
only the marriage culture of the Kempo ethnicity nowadays, focusing on the types of marriage and
the process of marriage events for a new family.
Interestingly, the American Anthropological Association presents anthropology in four
subfields: archeology, biological anthropology, cultural anthropology, and linguistic anthropology.
Cultural anthropology, as it is used in this study, is concerned with the sociocultural aspects of
how people think, work, interact, and so on. It is argued that to know well about cultural
anthropology, one must live together with the people for a certain length of time.
Cultural anthropology, in particular, is the study of human cultures, their beliefs, practices,
values, ideas, technologies, economies, and so on, obtained through first-hand experience or

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 Semiun dkk.: Marriage Events of Kempo ….

participant observation within living populations of humans (en.wikibooks.org). The data dealing
with cultural anthropology gotten by Eller (2015), for example, reveals that the people in certain
ethnicities organize themselves into structured groups like families, clans, villages, cities, and
nations. The members of these groups are shared among societies or communities. So no group
or ethnicity is without a culture that can be different from or similar to those of other societies.
Similarly, Lewis (2019) says that cultural anthropology, also known as sociocultural anthropology,
is one of the four subfields of the academic discipline of anthropology. Briefly, he says,
anthropology is the study of human diversity, while cultural anthropology is about cultural systems,
including beliefs, practices, and expressions.
Based on the different practices of marriage from one ethnic group to another, different
experts group the marriages into different types based on how they define them. Thalib (1986), for
instance, says marriage is a form of sacred agreement that is very strong for a lawful coexistence
between men and women to form an eternal family, to respect each other, to love each other, and
so on. This goes with what Maya (2013) says, that marriage is a form of social pattern that is
agreed upon by males and females for a legitimate family. These two ideas are related to why
Kempo couples decide to marry.They get married because they love each other. Loving each other
is legally decided through the agreed-upon traditional marriage process.
Then Jarwati et al. (2015) divided marriage types according to the number of wives or
husbands, the origin of the wives and husbands, cousin kinship, and according to dowry delivery.
The types of marriage according to the number of wives or husbands are differentiated into
monogamy and polygamy. In monogamy, a man only marries one woman, and vice versa; in
polygamy, a man marries more than one woman, and vice versa. Marriage in the Kempo ethnicity
is a type of monogamy where a man only marries a woman, and vice versa; a man can marry a
woman from another ethnicity or the same ethnicity, and so can a woman. It means endogamy and
exogamy, according to the origin of a man or a woman are applied in the Kempo ethnicity without
carrying the status of a man and a woman.
People of Kempo ethnicity believe that marriage is an in-nature gift to breed and live together.
So by nature, people cannot live without the presence of others. That means humans are born with
an instinct to be with other humans. This instinct of togetherness begins with a bond between a
woman and a man based on mutual love and need. According to Santoso (2016), marriage is based
not only on the biological needs of a man and a woman, but also on the executor of the natural
process of human life. The mutual need is then legally tied to a marriage bond for a new generation.
So if there is no new generation, there is no marriage, or where there are no children, there is no
marriage (Ogoma and Ebun, 2014). This is consistent with Yulia's (2016) notion that marriage
between a man and a woman produces a new generation. The present study examines the
traditional wedding culture regarded as the permanent belief (Rahiem & Rahim, 2021) of the Kempo
ethnicity. Like people of other ethnicities, the people of Kempo understand and acknowledge that
humans develop and multiply through interbreeding.
This study applies ethnography, a qualitative approach in the area of social anthropology,
where the researcher stands as participant and observer (Naidoo, 2012). Furthermore, in Creswell
(2013), the researcher was the key instrument (Hatch, 2002) in data collection by examining
documents, observing behavior, and interviewing participants using open-ended questions
designed by the researcher.The researcher was also reflective and interpretive, as recommended
by Marshall & Rossman (2010), and not an individual in auto-ethnography, as said by Hammersley
& Atkinson (2007). As highlighted by Fetterman (2010) and Japan International Cooperation Agency
(2018), the researcher of this study prepared the aims, relevant theories, and techniques of data
collection before going to the field. In the field, the researcher functioned as the observer-as-
participant role as recommended by Gold (1958) in Davies (1999), and as the interviewer (Heyl,
2007), while making notes (Emerson, Et. al., 2007). In the field, the researcher joined three events

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of the marriage process: tuke mbaru, kawing adat (and kawing gereja), and padong. Unluckily, the
researcher could not record events in the padong process due to the problems with electricity and
internet in the village where the PW families are from.
The informants purposefully selected were those who were born and grew up in the Kempo
ethnicity, were of an older age, knew well the culture, had experienced the same wedding process,
often function as PWs or PIs as spokesmen, were native speakers of the Kempo language, could
speak Indonesian for easy communication, and were willing to be the source of data. The data have
been analyzed by making use of the concepts grounded in theory by Charmaz and Mitchell in
Atkinson et al. (2007), the idea of narrative to analyze and describe the data as recommended by
Cortazzi in Atkinson et al. (2007), as well as an ethnography of speaking by Hymes (1962, 1974),
focusing only on the Act Sequence.

FINDINGS AND DISCUSSIONS

People of Kempo ethnicity practice monogamy, whether endogamy or exogamy. The monogamy
events are grouped into non-regular types and regular types. The non-regular types include wali
elar, lili, and wa lusi, which are not practiced anymore, while the regular types include tulak surak,
tuke mbaru, kawing adat (and kawing gereja), and padong for a new family presented under this
section.

Tulak Surak

Literarily, tulak means looking for by following where someone is going, while surak is a letter. So
tulak surak means looking for by following the letter sent, which logically is impossible because a
letter cannot walk or run. Tulak surak culturally has a specific meaning or message for Kempo
people in the initial process of a new family, the first step of kala rana and tungku kimpur types.
Historically, a young boy of the Kempo ethnicity sent a letter to a young woman he fell in
love with. The young woman wrote a letter after a few days in response to the letter, telling him
that she also agreed, or did not, to be the boy’s girlfriend. If the girl agreed, both of them started
to always contact one another by sending a letter or by promising to see one another, usually at
the house of the girl, to let her nucleus family know. Nowadays, young men and girls contact one
another by handphone. If the young man has a job and plans to live independently, his big families
agree with his plan, and they plan to see the parents of the girl on a certain date. This is what the
people of Kempo ethnicity call tulak surak.
What the young man’s family should do first is delegate one to inform the girl’s parents that
the man’s family will come for tulak surak. The girl’s parents then decide on a certain date for the
boy’s family to come. During the dates, the girl’s parents inform his big family about the plan and
ask some of them to join and witness the tulak surak process. The man’s and the woman’s families
should contact one another in the same or different village to be the pateng, called pateng woe
(PW) and pateng ineame (PI), as the spokesman representing each big family. The man's family
then prepares some money but not the bride's wealth, and they meet the girl's parents on the
agreed-upon date.Usually, in the evening before dinner, the cultural talk about the intentions of the
boy’s family starts.
When everything was ready, the PI forwarded cigarettes to the guests, said a formal welcome
to them, and politely invited them to drink coffee and smoke. After that, the PW starts to say the
main talk by forwarding one hundred rupiahs and a bottle of beer to start to say the intention of
their coming. In response to the PW, the PI just says thank you. The PW after that forwarded one
hundred rupiahs again to confirm for sure that the boy is still single and ready to live independently

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in his own family. The money is also to ask whether the girl is still single. If the girl is still single,
the PW sends her some thousand rupiahs to tell her that their son has fallen in love with the young
woman. The PI just says thank you, and thanks to God if the boy and the girl fall in love with one
another. It is a culture that if the money delivered by the PW is not much, the PI cannot request
some more, because there is no agreement before on the amount of money.
The money delivered means a lot. First, the boy and the girl are in a formal financial
relationship. They have to raise their feelings of love for one another. The boy is allowed to visit
the girl anytime, and he can bring her to his parents at any time. Second, the money serves to
reject another young boy who wants to approach her. The last, the money, symbolizes a new family
relationship between the man’s and the woman’s big families.
To close the cultural event, the PI delivers a traditional blanket called lipa wengko as a dowry
to the PW families, a kind of way of saying thanks and as a message for the young man to use the
blanket every day to always remember the young woman and not to receive any blanket from
another girl. Giving the blanket to the PW means that the whole process of tulak surak is finished.
To emphasize, the entire event implies that the letter (the girl) they are looking for has been
discovered, which is the metaphorical meaning of tulak surak. A special note is that the total amount
of money and animals for the total bridewealth is not decided at the moment of the tulak surak.
The PW families will delegate someone to see the PI families later to decide together the total
amount of wealth, money, and animals to bring in the tuke mbaru step.

Tuke Mbaru

Literarily, tuke means climbing or going up, and mbaru means house. So Tuke climbed up to get
in the house. Historically, as said in the tulak surak step, the houses of the people of the Kempo
ethnicity were made of wood, including bamboos and planks for the tent floor and buttresses. They
used coarse grass for the roof and a ladder made of wood to go up and get in the house. That is
the reason why the step is called tuke mbaru. Nowadays, the houses have floors, and there are no
ladders like those in the past. However, the people of the Kempo ethnicity have, until now, still
used the term "tuke mbaru" as the second step for a new family.
The tuke mbaru step can be done shortly or long after the tulak surak, depending on the
readiness of the man’s family. To do that, the man’s families will delegate two or three of them to
see that the girl’s families agree upon the amount of bridewealth (money and animals) and the date
for the tuke mbaru event. For that purpose, the girl’s parents inform their big families to decide
together the total amount of money and animals for the marriage bequest. When the agreed-upon
date for tuke mbaru comes, the man’s families and their PW come to the woman’s parents to
deliver the bridewealth. The whole process of tuke mbaru performs the concept of Hymes’
ethnography of speaking specifically the Act sequence in delivering the bridewealth. The speech
events start after six in the evening, according to their ancestors. It is believed that such a time
has been approved by the ancestors or all those who have passed away.
A special note is that the traditional marriage event unites the "mother" of the man (son) and
the "father" of the woman (daughter). The mother is now the sister (weta) of the father, and the
father is the brother (nara) of the mother. The talk between the PW and PI is just like the talk
between a sister and her brother. In delivering the bridewealth, the PW addresses himself weta-r
(your sister) and the PI nara-n (her brother), and the PI addresses himself naran-n (her brother)
and his sister weta. The Kempo ethnicity believes that the strongest kindred relationship is between
sister and brother (weta and nara).
The following are about how the ethnography of bridewealth delivery for the tuke mbaru step
is based on observed, noted, recorded, and interviewed data, showing how the ethnography of
Speaking by Hymes (1962, 1974) is practiced, but as said in the front, focusing only on the Act

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sequence. The Act sequence was about the events grouped into the "introductory" events, including
caca, tuak kapu, toto momang, and tuak cai, and the "main events," including lami tanggal, wae
lu’u, paki manuk, tai hang at le pa’ang, hang wie, pa’u belis, and toto adat. These are described and
narrated based on the data that was observed, noted, recorded, and interviewed.

The Introductory Events

Caca

Caca is literary means to get free from being tied meaning relax after a long walk. After having
relaxed for some minutes, the PI formally requested to please the woe families to sit down and
relax. He said that directly to the PW, not to the whole guests. In response to the PI, the PW said
thanks, and then faced all his people to request to sit down and relax. Surprisingly, the PI asked
the guests to sit rather than speaking directly to them.This means that, culturally, only the PI and
PW have the right to speak formally during the events. Other people around can speak, but outside
the context of the events.

Tuak kapu

Literally, tuak is a fermented alcoholic drink, and kapu means to lap (embrace at the moment of
arrival). The PI families served the tuak to everyone around before the PI pleased all people to
drink. The formal talk then started with PI saying that they were happy with the PW families coming,
and the tuak was to lap all of them. It is interesting that to respond to the PI, the PW forwarded
one hundred rupiahs, symbolizing their happiness because of the lap, symbolizing the
kindheartedness of the Ineame families.
It is a cultural rule in marriage events of the Kempo ethnicity that the PI families prepare a traditional
drink, usually in a round container called a "bongko," symbolizing the unity of agreement between
both families during the whole process of events. Now such drinks can be replaced with beer,
symbolizing their happiness and love for the coming of the PW families.

Toto momang

Literally, toto means showing, while momang is affection. The PI families had also prepared a
buffalo and told the PW families about it at that very moment for dinner. A chicken was shown to
represent the buffalo and was tied somewhere outside the house. The PI began the conversation
by saying that the PI's families were overjoyed and wanted to slaughter the buffalo as a token of
their affection. In response, the PW forwarded one hundred rupiahs to say that all the PW families
were happy and said thanks to the PI families.
Interestingly, the buffalo represented by chicken must be told first to the PW families before
it is slaughtered. That is to say, the PW families are fed culturally appropriate legal food, not the
kind purchased at a restaurant. According to the culture, it is improper if the PI does not inform
the guests first or simply informs them when they are having dinner. The buffalo, an expensive
animal, for dinner shows their true love or affection because the young man is ready to marry their
daughter. It is also to express their respect for the PW families and their desire to serve them
satisfactorily because they know they will receive a satisfactory bounty right now.

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Tuak cai

Literarily, tuak means alcoholic drink, and cai means arrival. So tuak cai is a traditional alcoholic
drink brought with one upon arrival, but now it is represented by beer or some money. To start the
talk, the PW forwarded a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of beer, and one hundred rupiahs to start a
formal talk. What the PW said was about the habit of the people of Kempo ethnicity generated by
their ancestors that when one of the woe’s family planned to see their ineame he should bring tuak.
"Now, that is what we bring for you," said the PW. In response to that, the PI just said thanks and
was happy about that.

The Main Events

Lami tanggal

Literarily, lami means "keeping" and "tanggal date." So lami tanggal is keeping the date agreed
together. It was the next event started by the PW after a few minutes' break. To start the talk, the
PW put one hundred rupiahs down to announce formally that the PW families had arrived at the
house and were in the same room at the moment, keeping the date promised in the past.
In response to the talk, the PI said thanks and still remembered the date they had agreed on.
What is interesting here is that the PW must say the lami tanggal to the PI families to continue to
the next event. If it is not formally said, the next event cannot be started. The PI families do not
have the right to say or remind the lami tanggal, except for the PW indicating that the young man
is ready to marry his lovely girl. When it was finished, everyone took a few moments to relax and
talk to one another.

Wae lu'u

Wae, literarily, is water, and lu'u, literally, is tear. Wae lu’u is "tears," a ritual event symbolizing
missing the ancestors. Both the PW and PI families have known that the marriage process can only
run smoothly if all have said thanks to their ancestors and requested permission and protection
from them. Wae lu’u is also saying prayers to the Lord to request protection during the whole
process of marriage. The PI was reminded of this, and he initiated the formal discussion about the
wae lu'u. For that, the PW forwarded one hundred rupiahs to the PI, asking him to lead the wae
lu’u event. The PI agreed to lead the ritual event. The ritual took quite a long time because the event
was continued with the "kill chicken" (paki manuk) event to feed their ancestors. Metaphorically,
tai hang ata le pa’ang means "giving food to those who have died.".
In short, the wae lu’u event indicates that the whole family still remembers and misses the
ancestors of both families. They believe that the success of a new family in their future includes
getting children because of their ancestors who generated them and because of God, the source
of humans’ life.

Paki manuk

Paki means to kill, and manuk means chicken, so paki manuk literally means to kill a chicken.That
event was the continuation of the Wae Lu'u event. The PI families knew what to do and what to
provide, i.e., slaughtering a white chicken in the middle of the audience. According to the culture,
the white color magically means ‘good’ symbolizing the sincerity and protection of the ancestors
and the God for the young man’s and the young woman’s familiesmeans killing and manuk is
chicken, so paki manuk literarily is killing a chicken. That event was the continuation of the wae

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lu’u event. The PI families had known what to do and what to provide, i.e. slaughtering a white
chicken in the middle of the audience. According to the culture, the white color magically means
‘good’ symbolizing the sincerity and protection of the ancestors and the God for the young man’s
and the young woman’s families.
Before saying prayers, the PI told all around him about the purpose of the white chicken. He
continued by saying that it was about magic and religious ritual as a means to communicate with
their ancestors and God. All the people around were quiet and paid full attention to the event.
To do that, the PI said the aim of the chicken When finished, he gave the chicken to a special
old man from his side who knew well what to talk about and the language or words to use. The
talk sounded like a prayer, and all the people around kept silent. The old man said about what they
were doing at that moment, i.e. the marriage process of their children. He also asked for assistance
from the ancestors of woe and inequity families, as well as from God, in order for the entire
marriage process to go smoothly and to bring health, new generations, and blessings during
lifelong family life in the future.
When finished, the chicken was given back to a Muslim (for legal reasons, indicating
tolerance from their ancestors) to slaughter it in the middle, witnessed by all, indicating the chicken
was from the people around for their ancestors and God. Then, the slaughtered chicken was taken
to the kitchen to be processed as meat. While waiting for a few moments, all the people relaxed
and talked to one another.

Tai hang ata le pa’ang

Tai hang literally means giving food; ata le pa’ang means those who have died and been
buried. After the chicken had been processed, they performed the tai hang ata le pa’ang event. A
little rice and slices of the burned (not fried) chicken were placed on different plates as offerings
and handed to the PI to please the ancestors. The talk was about inviting and requesting the
ancestors to eat with them and to be with them during the tuke mbaru events, the kawing adat and
kawing gereja events, and the padong events. When finished, the audiences were pleased to have
dinner.

Hang wie

Hang literally means eating, and wie means night. Hang wie (eat night) means dinner. It was done
after serving the ancestors, and according to the informants, hang wie is not a ritual, but it is started
by saying it formally and asking someone (a priest if he is around) to lead the prayer for dinner. All
the people around were relaxed, waiting for dinner.
When the dinner was ready, the PI told the PW formally to be ready to have dinner. That was
a formal invitation to dinner for everyone in the area and under the tentsThat was a formal invitation
to dinner for everyone in the area and under the tents. To start the dinner, a priest led the prayer
in the Catholic way since almost all of them were Catholic. The dinner was followed by relaxation
while waiting for the last agenda, pa’u belis, and delivering the bridewealth.

Pa’u belis

Literally, pa’u is falling and belis is bridewealth. So pa’u belis is falling the bridewealth down. It is a
cultural metaphor, meaning "delivering the bride's wealth to the girl’s families." After dinner, the
delivery of an agreed-upon amount of money and animals started. The whole process started with
the PW. He forwarded one hundred rupiahs for beer, one hundred rupiahs for a cigarette, and
another one hundred rupiahs to remind the PI to start the formal talk about bridewealth delivery.

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All around were keeping silent, paying attention, and watching what both spokesmen talked about.
Each of them was assisted by the treasurer for the PW, and the other one was helped by the PI
during the formal talk.
Then, the PW explained the intentions of forwarding the money about the bridewealth delivery
using metaphoric words or phrases that each of them mutually understood. In response to that,
the PI said many things. To start, each uttered "I" (yes) to remind, and the interactant directly
answered "I" (yes). Then the PW delivered thirty thousand rupiahs and another one hundred
rupiahs, representing a buffalo tied somewhere around the house, closer to the PI. In his speech,
the PW stated that the purposes of the money and the animal had been agreed upon some time
ago. Interestingly, as said in the front, the PW addressed himself as weta-r (your sister) and nara-
n (her brother), just like a demonstration of usual talking between a sister and her brother.
Then the PI (Nara-n) responded that the money and the animal were not enough as agreed
in the past, and he asked for another amount of money and animal because there were so many
of them waiting for the bridewealth. At the moment, both were demonstrating as if they were
bargaining in the market using funny metaphoric words, making the audience laugh. The PI’s
assistant also interrupted to make a strong argument. A few seconds after that, the PW delivered
again, this time for another twenty thousand rupiahs less than the first and another hundred to
apologize and promise to bring another buffalo someday in the future. Since both spokesmen were
talking like a sister and a brother, the PI agreed. The second amount of money delivered by the
PW, culturally, was for the girl’s father’s family, from which his wife comes.
To close the whole process of pa’u belis, the PI determined the total amount of bridewealth
(money and animals) based on the decisions of the PI families. The total amount of money was
one hundred and fifty thousand rupiahs, including those delivered at the tuke mbaru step, and the
rest (one hundred thousand rupiahs) should be brought during kawing adat and kawing gereja.
However, it was interesting that the PI said yes but still highlighted that it was a talk between a
sister and a brother. It means that the PW families will bring as much as they can because that is
not like selling and buying in the market. As the informants said, forcing people to bring all their
wealth, money, and animals during the kawing adat is not part of the culture of the Kempo ethnicity.
Delivering all bridewealths agreed upon by the ancestors entails paying the girl market rate.If that
happens there is no lifelong relation between both families, woe, and ineame.
Another important thing is that the PI should be smart to ask for another amount of money,
but the PW, on the other hand, should also be smart not to deliver the amount of money at once.
So delivering the money and animal in such a way is, according to the researcher, just like
"intelligence testing" between the PW and PI themselves. If the PI is not smart enough to ask for
another amount of money, he will get less; similarly, if the PW is not smart enough not to deliver
the amount of money asked, he will get a loss. This is the reason why the PW and PI should have
special competence and good language use, mainly metaphorical words, to function as spokesmen.

Toto

Toto is also called toto adat to differentiate it from toto gereja during the kawing adat process. Toto
adat, based on the literal meaning, is showing the young girl to the young man’s families, while
toto gereja shows the girl to the people or community of the same religion.
One important thing to know is the logical connection between tulak surak and tuke mbaru.
The relationship between the young man and woman started with him writing a love letter to a
young girl (now just called HP). The tulak surak event was completed in order to locate the letter.
Metaphorically, the young man found the letter, i.e., the girl herself, at her house. The girl's and
man's families made a promise to see each other again and that the man's families would come to
have more formal relations by performing a sequence of events in tuke mbaru step, including toto.

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 The toto event was done between the main big families of both sides, woe, and ineame, to
witness the so-called toto adat the next morning. The event was also attended by the study's
researcher. The woe forwarded some money to make the events formally or legally begin.
An old woman from the same side accompanied the three girls from the back, where they
were preparing for the toto event, as was customary.The prospective bride was one of the three
girls, followed by happy applause and seating in the special place.Then, the PI asked the young
man, the prospective bridegroom, to sit in a special place as well, in the middle of woe and inequity.
After that, the PI requested the young man choose one of the three girls as his girlfriend. The
young man stood up and approached his girlfriend, holding her hand as they sat face-to-face in the
middle. That invites happy waves of laughter all around. It was the meaning of toto—to show the
man’s families the girl their son loved. Choosing the man’s girlfriend from the other two girls means
the man knows and loves his girlfriend very much..
The PI then gave a minute's chance to each of the couples to express their feelings of loving
one another, which was followed by the mutual setting of the ring fingers and that inviting hand
applause. That was the last formal event taking place during the tuke mbaru step before they came
to the final step, the kawing adat (and kawing gereja) step. To end the whole process, the PI families
delivered the dowry after breakfast, including a traditional cloth called a lipa, mats, beers, and
cigarettes to report to those in the young man’s village who do not join the tuke mbaru process.

Kawing Adat and Kawing Gereja

Kawing adat and kawing gereja are the two events that legitimize a new family among the ethnicities,
including the Kempo ethnicity in West Flores. These were carried out after the tuke mbaru step.
The kawing adat and kawing gereja have different processes. The process of kawing gereja in
particular is led by a priest following the sequence of events usually in a mass ritual in the Catholic
religion. Usually it is carried out right away the next day after the kawing adat, in the morning or
afternoon. The kawing gereja under this subtopic is not described since it is similarly happening
everywhere in the world. The focus is on the process of events of kawing adat.
The bridewealth was delivered on the agreed-upon date of kawing adat. The young woman’s
big family was there, designing a room for the ritual events and a tent in the yard for those who
were invited. They were also busy preparing drinks and dinner and were ready to welcome the
young man's guests before six o'clock in the afternoon. When the time came around seven o'clock
and everyone was ready, the kawing adat events began, taking place in a special room designed
so that people of woe sat face-to-face with people of ineame, as in tuke mbaru. Since the events
were for a traditional wedding, the young man and woman were sitting side by side as a wedding
couple to witness the whole process of the kawing adat events. The whole process of cultural
events of the Kempo ethnicity is to legitimize the marriage of a new couple for a new family. As
said in the front, the events are simpler than those in the tuke mbaru since they also have to
prepare for the kawing gereja.
The introductory events, caca, tuak kapu, toto momang, and tuak cai, proceeded like in tuke
mbaru. While the wae lu’u, paki manuk, tai hang ata le pa'ang, and toto of the main events were
not done again because the events were done only once for the whole process during tuke mbaru,
The two main events of kawing adat are lami tanggal and pa'u belis. Based on the data obtained,
the entire Kawing Adat process is described next.
The first event was caca, the formal welcome to the PW side, followed by tuak kapu, indicating
happiness at the PW side's arrival, and then toto momang, showing affection for the ineames. The
materials for the events were a bottle of beer for tuak kapu and a chicken, representing a buffalo,
prepared by Woe to serve for dinner. The way the PW (standing for weta or "sister") and PI

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 Semiun dkk.: Marriage Events of Kempo ….

(standing for nara or "brother") talked was like that in Tuke Mbaru. Then, the PW forwarded some
money representing beer for tuak cai, and what to talk about was like that in tuke mbaru.
The next events are lami tanggal and pa’u belis. The PW forwarded some money again to
start the formal talk about lami tanggal. What the PW said was about keeping the date agreed upon
in the past. The PW added that the weta’s side (woe) was not ready yet to come but she had to,
just to keep the date agreed. This was a technique to remind the PI (nara) not to request the whole
amount of the bridewealth from his weta.
In response to the talk, the PI expressed happiness because of the good heart of his weta
(the PW side) to keep the date promised. The PI also said that the PI side (nara) felt no problem at
all if the weta did not bring the whole bridewealth. The main thing, he said, was that the process
of marrying their son and daughter had been completed.
Then came the top event, pa’u belis. The people of Kempo ethnicity know that the bridewealth
(money and animals) delivered during the kawing adat step is for: the main family (the girl’s
parents), the brothers of the girl’s father, and the brothers of the father’s wife called ineame rabeng,
to whom the father’s bridewealths were delivered for his marriage in the past, and the church
marriage.
So, for the purposes of this discussion, the bridewealth delivery had four subevents. The first
event is the delivery of the most money and animals (a buffalo and horses) agreed upon some
time ago for the main family, the second is some money less than the first without animals, and
the third is some money less than the second and a buffalo for the ineame rabeng, regarded as a
kind expression of respect. And the fourth one is some money for the kawing gereja the next day.
Each of the subevents was requested by the PI in a sequential process. As usual, the PW
responded to each of these requests by forwarding a little money for the formal talks. If the PI
thinks the money is not enough, he finds any way to suggest adding some more. The PW is also
smart to find ways to add a little money. It is like a bargain in the market that causes waves of
laughter in the audience, like that in tuke mbaru.
To add, as said by the informants, if the woe does not keep the promise to bring the animals
to the kawing adat, the PW forwards one hundred rupiahs as a promise to bring the animals
someday in the future, when the son of the girl’s parents (the girl’s brother) is going to get married.
This indicates that delivering the total amount of wealth is not a force. What they must do at the
moment is unify the boy and the girl in a new family.
That is the whole process of kawing adat, and since that moment, the young man and the
woman are culturally husband and wife. The people of both sides, woe, and ineame are ready for
the kawing gereja and the wedding reception, usually done everywhere for those who have got
married the next evening.
To conclude, the tuke mbaru step is the most difficult, surpassing the tulak surak and the
kawing adat in the past. There are no paki manuk and tai hang ata le pa’ang events during the
kawing adat and kawing gereja.

Padong

Padong, which literally means "to accompany," is the final step in the marriage process, which is
traditionally performed after the kawing adat and kawing gereja. Padong is done by the bride's
family, including PI, accompanying the new couple to the house or village where the bridegroom
is from. However, in practice, this step can be postponed for some reasons, such as economic
ones, since it is done like a feast for four days.
It is interesting that the guests, the bride’s family, the PI, and the newly married couple do
not come right to the house but stop somewhere outside the kampong where the bridegroom's
people and the PW are waiting. The PW and his people have a certain ritual, such as saying a

105 |
cultural welcome and holding a chicken (not a black one) and some money for the formal talk. The
main topic of conversation is saying thank you for coming and saving our arrival to the kampong.
When finished, the couple were redressed in culturally traditional dresses. Then the couple
was accompanied in a kind of procession to the house of the bridegroom’s parents, where the
cultural rituals were provided. To enter the house, the bride broke an egg by stepping on it, called
wedi ruha (step on the egg). At the same time, an old woman sprayed some rice and then some
water on the heads of the couple.
This all means a lot to the couple. First, the egg symbolizes their life since childhood, which
is still under the responsibility of their parents. Secondly, breaking the egg means that the married
couple has grown up from their childhood until they are adults, and now they are independent and
free from parental responsibilities but start to join others like chickens. Third, the leaves that fanned
toward them represent the couple's need to stay young, healthy, and strong in order to live. The
last, rice spread to their body symbolizes always trying hard to always get lucky in their future.
As usual, the PI families were sitting face-to-face with the PW families. It was in the evening,
and while serving some coffee and cakes, an event tai lipa peher, a kind of traditional sarong (cloth)
to cover the body, was done by the PI. Giving the sarong to the couple symbolizes that the bride
is now formally a member of the bridegroom’s family, and the PI families have done their job, which
is padong, by accompanying the couple to the parents of the bridegroom.
The next morning, the bride’s family returned to their village. Since that morning, the new
couple has been forbidden by the culture to leave the house for four days. They stayed in the house
or the bedroom for most of the time, wearing the clothes given by the PI. That is the time for them
to learn to live as a new family and to learn about the bridegroom’s family mainly from the bride.
After four days, wa'u wae (literally, go down to the water) is the next event. On the fourth
day, the couple was taken to a river to take a bath. This is called "oke saki" (throwing away grime).
For the oke saki event, a mature coconut was also brought to the river after peeling it. The coconut
should be obtained from the coconut tree by holding it down from the top or by taking care of it
so that it does not become broken or smashed. There was a sequence of subevents performed in
the wa’u wae event described next.
• Washing the hair and heads of the couple called celang using rasped mature coconut as shampoo.
It was done by a specific old woman for the bride, but they let the bridegroom do his own. This
event serves as a reminder to always provide freshness and health for the entire duration of one's
life.
• Splitting the coconut over the heads of the couple into two, then throwing it away from the couple,
then looking at the two halves of the split coconut. If both coconut halves are in a different
position—one is facing upward and the other is facing downward—they believe that the couple
will get a son and a daughter. If both halves are in a face-downward position, the couple will get
two sons, and if both are in a face-upward position, they will get two daughters.
• Making them touch one another by their heads. Culturally, that means that the husband and wife
must respect each other, never forgive each other, and take care of each other.
• Washing the whole body. This entails discarding all bad habits from their childhood and beginning
a new way of life, namely, being a good father and mother for their future children.

When finished, all go back to the house for the next event, which is paki manuk wina rona
(literally, killing the chicken wife's husband). This is to show the bridegroom and the bride to always
imitate the behavior of chickens in how to earn life, that is, be diligent, working and sleeping
together, feeding and protecting their babies from dangers.
The next event is embedding some reeds of the chickens on the heads of the couple called
ceko wulu manuk eta sa’i). According to the culture, it is to remind them to always obey and uphold

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 Semiun dkk.: Marriage Events of Kempo ….

all cultural events that have been carried out from beginning to the end of their marriage process,
and be ready to pass this all on to the children or their next generations.
Tui roto niang is the final event. Tui is showing, roto is a basket, and ni’ang is little by little.
So, tui roto ni’ang is an event where the PW shows a basket containing some rice to cook in the
kitchen. This is to remind the bride to work in the kitchen, preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner
for her husband and her children. It is a culture in the Kempo ethnicity that was generated by their
ancestors that the wives’ job is in the house, cooking, cleaning, and so on. But now many families
pay others to work in their kitchens if both are working in offices.
That is the entire process of choosing a marriage type for a new family. Each type has distinct
events that demonstrate, indicate, symbolize, or recall certain cultural meanings that can become
real during the new family's life.

CONCLUSION

The Kempo ethnicity has practiced marriage monogamy, both exogamy and endogamy systems.
The regular types of marriage include kala-rana and tungku. Tungku, in particular, is differentiated
into tungku sa'i and tungku kimpur. Each of these has its own process for how a young man and
a young woman fall in love with one another to live as a family.
The bridewealth in the Kempo ethnicity includes money and animals (buffaloes and horses).
Meanwhile, the cows and pigs are slaughtered for meals during events and wedding parties. To
deliver these bridewealths, pa’u belis are given by PW families to PI families. While the dowry for
PI families includes rice, mats, clothes (a traditional songket), cigarettes, and beer delivered by PI
at the end of tuke mbaru and kawing adat events.
The communication between the spokesmen, PW and PI, applies the act sequence of Hymes'
ethnography of communication. During the events, they show the real use of cost scale benefit by
Leech (1983), where the PW uses the word mendi-r (your slave) to address himself and Muri (God)
or Kraeng (master) to address the PI. In this case, the PW maximizes his benefit while minimizing
his cost, whereas the PI maximizes its benefit while minimizing its cost. It is to show respect and
politeness, which are also practiced in social communication.
The situation when proceeding with the events one by one can be a serious situation because
the whole events are done in a certain ritual. The paki manuk and tai hang ata le pa'ang, for example,
are done in a prayer situation represented by a special old man. Besides the two events, the way
the PW and PI communicate can cause waves of laughter as if they are bargaining in the market.
Chickens are animals that have a very high cultural value compared to other animals. On the
magical side, they can be used to pray to ancestors to express gratitude or to cure diseases.The
ways the chickens behave are also regarded as guides for the new families.
Padong is the last step for a new family. The following events occurred during the padong
process: welcoming the PI family and dressing the couple somewhere outside the village;
processing to enter the house; stepping an egg or wedi ruha by the bride; spraying rice (wecak
dea); and spraying water (rempas wae) over the couple's heads; giving a cloth (lipa wida peher);
go to a river (wa'u wae) to take a bath (oke saki); slaughtering male and female chickens (paki
manuk wina rona) symbolizes living like how chickens live; putting some reeds on the couple’s
headwear in traditional dress (ceko wulu manuk eta sai) shows obedience to the culture handed
down by the ancestors, showing a basket containing rice (tui roto niang) showing the everyday
job of a wife.

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