PRE-MARITAL SEX AMONG CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN YOUTHS IN NIGERIA

Submitted to
Prof. Mary O. Esere
Faculty of Education, The Nigerian Baptist
Theological Seminary Ogbomoso

In Partial Fulfilment of the Requirements for the Seminar

Issues and Trends in Christian Education
CED 779

By
Eboseta Rejoice, Paul
20/0304
MCE 1

MAY, 2021
 Table of Contents

Introduction

Concept of Pre-Marital Sex

Factors Promoting Pre-Marital sex

Consequences of Pre-Marital sex

Biblical Perspective of Pre-Marital Sex

Transforming Contemporary Christian Youths through Christian Education

Conclusion
Introduction

Youths are the future of a society, community, family, religion among others depending in the

context in which they are found. Youths are the generation that will inherit their country. They

are hoped to be useful individuals capable of contributing towards society’s well-being in

general. The rate at which social malaise is increasing in the country with each passing day is

alarming. Offensive behavior committed by youths, either small or otherwise, are exposed each

day. It illustrates just how serious the phenomena is and necessary steps need to be taken to curb

further deterioration. The deteriorating moral standard among the young is indeed rather

puzzling. Premarital sex is one of the current issues that is trending in Christian education and is

fast becoming an acceptable norm in the Nigeria context.

The rate at which contemporary youths especially Christian youths engage in various

forms of premarital sex is alarming. They engage in this despicable act at home, school and even

at youth conferences/youth fellowship. Premarital sex has been an important topical issue that

has been researched by various researchers in an attempt to discover the outcome of it in various

contexts especially educational context such as secondary and tertiary institutions and how it

affects the holistic being of these students. Various questions were raised. Does school, and the

church as educational institutions, fail to address this problem? How about parents and families?

How does this kind of behavior come about? In the light of this, this paper seeks to examine pre-

marital sex among contemporary Christian youths.

Concept of Youth

Young people are set to be in a transitional period. Traditionally, youth is considered to be a

period of transition from childhood to adulthood. At this stage they are confused, they are neither
children nor matured adult. They tend to create their world coming up with their own identity

and it is in this process they carve out their own culture to distinct themselves from the adults.

Period of youth is the most crucial period in the life of human beings and is the stage where life

reaches its peak (Nwankwo, 2001:15). The youth is eager to learn new experiences, find new

relationships, examine resources of inner strength and fathom the strength of inner ability. This is

a period of storm that most youths find it difficult to cope with the major decisions making that

would need the parental or adult guidance. Youths is a great time of great change and period of

significant growth on many levels: physical, psychological, social and spiritual (Rew, 2005:20).

At this stage, youths become more autonomous in their decisions, emotions and actions, and start

to distance from parental control.

Concept of Pre-Marital Sex

Pre-marital sex has been defined in variety of ways by different scholars. Stephen and Stephen

(2016:79) submit that pre-marital sex is sexual activity practiced by persons who are unmarried.

Adegboyega and Omotosho (2017:9) opine that pre-marital sex is sexual intercourse engaged in

by persons who are not married to each other. Similarly, Mashau (2011:3) explicates that pre-

marital sex is a term commonly used for individuals presumed not be of marriageable age, or

between adults presumed to marry eventually, but are engaging in sexual practices prior marital

consummation. Pre-marital sex in a lay man language is sex before marriage and it is commonly

found among youths. It is expressed among the youths in through fornication, rape, defilement

and incest, masturbation, oral sex etc. Put succinctly, pre-marital sex is engaging in sexual

relationship before marriage.

Furthermore, quite a number of the youths who engaged in pre-marital sex resort into

cohabitation, giving them an avenue to gratify their sexual desires without obstruction or
interruption. Cohabitation is commonly used to define the relationship between unmarried

couples who live together as husband and wife (De Bruyn 1993:156). While some youths utilize

this style of living to satisfy their sexual desires and accessibility to sex, others use it as a testing

ground for marriage. Based on the above definition, Mashau agrees that cohabitation is more a

testing ground for marriage or a step on the way to marriage, much like dating and engagement

(2011:2). Schwellnus (1994:4) sees cohabitation as a situation in which two people live together

in a family framework analogous to marriage, without being joined in holy matrimony.

Schwellnus stressed that the content of a cohabitational relationship entails consensual premarital

sex between the supposed “couple” and a sense of responsibility towards each other (1994:1-2).

Some youths use cohabitation as a stepping stone to marriage, while others prefer to cohabit for

as long as they live (Manning et al. 2007:559). Collins (2007:338) corroborate that cohabitation

is an unmarried male and female living together with full sexual relationships. This practice is so

widespread and usually found among university students. Many of them no longer see sex as

something that is wrong or right; they view sex as a pleasurable way for two people to interact

with each other.

Factors Promoting Pre-marital sex among Christian Youths

This negative culture of the youth is not a behaviour that arose overnight, but an accumulated

behavioural pattern that could be attributed to certain factors such as, the home (neglect and or

poor parenting; the effect of globalization arising from wrong values’ exportation and

importation; a reflection of the high rate of moral decadence in the larger society, peer pressure

and the desire to belong as well as fading values and the nature of man. Each of these points is

discussed below in details

Poor Parenting: Poor parenting is one of the factors considered to be responsible for pre-marital

sex among the youths. According to Stephen & Stephen (2016:81) family factors such as the

relationship between the parents and youths in the area of care and protection, single parents,

monogamy, and polygamy and the parenting style cannot be ignored in the study of premarital

sex. There is a saying that “charity begins at home.” Every child in the community whether

good or bad as home as well as parents. The home environment greatly influence the

development of children. The home is believed to be the child’s first window to the outside

world. According to Whitehurst (2004:50) “parents are the most important people in their

children’s lives.” Parents are the first set of people a child get to know as he/she grows in life

and they play a significant role in their lives. What parents do with the child at this level in

terms of training and orientation go a long way to determining what the child becomes

tomorrow. It is from the parents that the child learns about values, beliefs and other forms of

acceptable behaviour. The question is, how many parents are really available for their children?

How many parents are model of good examples? How many of them give good attention to their

children even when they are available? Unfortunately, many parents have failed in this regard,

having little or no time for their being preoccupy with their careers or businesses

Another aspect of parenting is parent-child communication. The family is believed to

be the first socializing agents a child comes in contact with in life. The kind of family a child

found himself determine and define what the child will ultimately turned out to become as he

grows. (Stephen and Stephen, 81). Terhile and Aondoana (2014:30) affirm that children are

kept incommunicado as a result of the perpetual and prolonged absence of either or both

parents from home for business and other engagements.” As a result, children are left to

themselves to make their choices or at best are left under the tutelage of nannies. The writer
has seen a scenario where children left in care of friends and neigbours were exposed to

pornography movies. Afterwards, unknowingly to the parents, these children, a brother and

two sisters from same parents began to practice sex. Before long, the boy who was age sixteen

(16) had successfully impregnate one of his sisters, age fourteen (14). The Bible enjoin

parents in Proverbs 22:6 to train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he

would not depart from it.

The Nature of the Home Environment

This refers to the home environment and family atmosphere in which these youths are raised.

Some children are raised in a hostile and violent environments while others are nurtured in

blissful environment with love, care, compassion and understanding. Children raised in an

hostile environment atmosphere are physically and psychologically traumatized. In such

homes, all that the children can see are hatred, quarrel, bitterness, hostility, violence,

competition and pains. They accept misdemeanor as a way of life and careless unleashing the

same behaviour on the weaker ones (Ikediashi and Akande, 2015). The valued goals for a

child are the feeling of being loved and supported. This is their expectation from parent.

Youth’s family background characterized by frequent fighting between parents, lack

of parental love and affection, divorce and different forms of deprivations could lead to

negative behaviours. Most couples who find it difficult to resolve their conflict resort to

divorce. Once the parents are divorced, the children either live with the mother or father

resorting to single parenting. According to Carlson (2012), “parents directly affect family

structure. Divorces are a large transition and they cause adolescents to experience a low level

of parental attachment and supervision, thus leading towards negative behaviour.” Once a

divorce is finalized, a child will then move to living in a single parent-home. Single-parent
living environments tend to reduce social control and lead to an increase in delinquency. In

addition, youths from polygamous background tend to be maladaptive than those from

monogamous background. Youths from broken homes also exhibit negative behaviour

especially when both parents are separated and cannot reinforce and motivate these youths.

Socio-Economic Status of Parents

Poverty or economic depravity has also been connected with premarital sexual practice among

contemporary Christian youths. Premarital sexual practice has also been attributed to poverty

arising from low socio-economic status of parents. Some youths are nurtured in a state of abject

poverty while some others are brought up in affluent conditions. For those brought up in later

condition, life is good and there is no need to do anything that can endanger their lives. For those

brought up in the former condition, the reverse is the case as they have to struggle for survival

(Ikediashi & Akande, 2015). The writer disagree with this claim because there are cases of

youths engaging in premarital sex despite being born and raised with silver spoon in their

mouths. Some of them live as “big boys or big girls” on the University campuses. In most cases,

they reside in big apartment in the town where they cohabit with their sex partners.

The quest for high social status and material goods have made several of present day

Christian youths to resort to pre-marital sex in tertiary institutions. University students, most

especially the female ones trade their bodies to satisfy their needs and put a false status,

pretending to be from rich families. Stephen and Stephen agreed with Ankomah that some

females engaged in premarital sexual relationships ostensibly for financial reward which is

sequence to inability of parents to satisfy their basic needs such as paying of tuition fees

(2016:81) Nwankwo (2003: 25) also argue that “children born into impoverished environments

may take to unacceptable social behaviour as survival strategy.” Youths from poor homes are
usually deprived of some basic needs of life. The fact that poor parents may not be able to satisfy

all their needs, the children may take to other means such as premarital sex and the likes to

provide for themselves and satisfy their materials quests.

Peer Group Influence

Peer pressure is another factor that influences today’s youth sexual behavior. Youths get

involved in unruly behaviours and lifestyles and become very difficult to tame when they

refuse to accept parent’s values and models and instead shift all of a sudden to conform to the

standards and patterns of the peer groups they belong. A youth who belong to a peer group

whose members engage in deviant activities such as under-age smoking, alcoholism,

pilfering, cultism, rape, prostitution and violence is most likely to imbibe these attitudes

(Ikediashi & Akande 2015). Sometimes, youths follow the dictates of their peers. This is

described as ‘peer uniformity’ that is they want to conform to the group’s ‘norms’ because

they want to belong. Hammers and Bangers note that sexual practices among contemporary

youths is as a result of pressure from society and their peers (2010:290). Some of these youths

engage in premarital sex in order to avoid being laughed at and to receive affirmation from

their peers (Mashau, 2011:3). This to some extent, has contributed to the menace of this

misdemeanor behaviour usually exhibited by these youths.

Influence of Social Media

It is no doubt that media has great influence on today’s youth and is doing much havoc on

them. The young ones now live in a world that with the click of a button can connect to

Facebook, Twitter, check apps for latest about their favourite celebrities with the goal of

imitating, their dress patterns, accessories and also behave as they do without considering the

consequences (Ayandokun, 2013, 160). Mashau observed that young people are often hooked
by sexual images that they are exposed to as they surf the internet (2011:4). The youths of

today are greatly influence by what they watch from films (Home videos) and certain

presentations by the social media. Youths many at times have model artists that they love and

copy in all areas of their lives. They follow such very blindly even when the lifestyles of such

people are contrary to what they have learnt either at home or in the church. Ochiagha

(1999:25) observed that youths have greater attraction to view human sexuality films and

related programmes. Some of these youths who watch some of these films usually want to ‘try

out’ what they have watched hence, resulting in negative behaviour.

Foreign Influence and Fading Value

Africa as a continent culture is a very rich in culture and blessed in diverse ways so much that

she is admired by people of the western world. It is unfortunate that Africa has traded off her

culture in exchange of western culture instead of being proud of it and preserving for posterity.

prior to advent of Christianity, especially in the southwestern Nigeria, sex was considered sacred

and was majorly within the context of marriage between adult males and females. However,

present day Christian youths engage in various maladaptive behaviour such smoking,

alcoholism, and premarital sexual activities (Alo 2008). It is rather sad that most cherished

African values are fading away due to non-patronage and modernization. Most of the

contemporary youths can hardly tell what these values are. For, instance, the honor and dignity in

virginity is gradually fading away. Today, most youths termed virginity has “old fashion or old

school.”

The situation is that bad such that young girls who are chaste and still maintain their

virginity hide it from friends for an avoidance of mockery. The writer presume that some of

these youths who engage in premarital sex see it as a norm because they do not want to be left
out of what is in vogue and be referred to as “old school.” Some of them especially the male are

even applauded by their parents saying “This is a proof that my boy is a man” The fact that they

are cheered by their peers when they engage in premarital sex further encourages them the more.

The question here is, how can these youths be different when the society has no good moral

values and legacies to offer them? (Bua and Ogbaji, 2014).

Consequences of Premarital Sex among Christian Youths

Several of contemporary Christian youths in Nigeria involved in premarital sex tend to be

ignorant of the consequences attached to such actions and those who are informed of the

consequences seem to ignore it. Some of the consequences of engaging in premarital sex include:

Unwanted and Unplanned pregnancy: on many occasions, most of the sexual activities among

Christian youths have resulted to unplanned pregnancy. Chitamun and Finchilesu observed that

many girls fall into unplanned pregnancy due to involvement in premarital sex (2003:154).

Studies revealed that female youths who got impregnated through premarital sex resort to

abortion in bit to conceal their maladaptive act in order to avoid embarrassment Stephen and

Stephen (2016:82). The sad thing is that, abortion has sent some these young girls to early grave,

thereby terminating their glorious destiny. There are also report of females whose womb were

damaged due to unsuccessful abortion and has made the victim childless at later years. This act

according to Dike (2000:92) is mostly common with females while male co-pilot the affair.

Unplanned pregnancy has also made those involved to dump babies on the street, dung hill and

even in septic tank. It is that bad. While some of these babies are fortunate to be seen by good

Samaritans who pick them up and handed them over to orphanage homes for nurturing, the rest

are left to suffocate unto death. Unwanted pregnancy has terminated the education of some

females and brought their promising futures to an abrupt end.

Depression: Depression is another consequence of engaging in premarital sex. Most of the

Christian youths who practice sex outside marriage are greatly depressed, even though it is not

written boldly on their face. It is only a friendly communication with them that will reveal it.

Abdullahi and Umar (2013:13) in their research revealed that engaging in premarital sex does

lead to depression. Female who offered their body in exchange for money suffered depression

because in some cases they are treated like animal while their male counterpart claimed engaging

in premarital sex makes one grow older than their age. They go as far as sleeping with snakes

and other animals for ritual purposes which ultimately make them infertile. All of these

culminate to depression

The act of engaging in premarital sex often time causes emotional breakdown among

contemporary Christian youths. Mashau emphasize that premarital sex destroy relationship.

Often time, those involved become miserable and disillusioned with life. On several occasions,

girls are the most frequent victims. Several of such girls had resorted to suicide, when their so-

called “lover” abandoned them for other girl. In most cases, young people do not know how to

cope in such situations. They see their world crumbling before their very eyes and are helpless

about it. (2011:4).

Fear and guilt in the life of those engaged in this despicable act resort to depression and can also

lead to suicide. guilt as noted by Abdullahi and Umar is a form of regret, a feeling that a person

has gone against his or her conscience or has done something morally wrong Studies also

revealed that sex deviant acts can lead to regrets. Stephen and Stephen opines that in as much as

a sexual act can be pleasurable, it leads to regret (13). Several of these Christian youths who

actively engaged in all sorts of premarital sex while in school lived with guilt and regret later in
life. For some, their past haunt them even after being married, linking every marital problem to

their past despicable acts

Sexually Transmitted disease: Premarital sex poses a lot of health challenge to its victims. Quite

a number of Christian youths have been victim of sexually transmitted diseases due to sex

outside marriage. Stephen and Stephen observed that students who engage in premarital sex run

the risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STI) such as AIDs HIV, Chlamydia,

Gonorrhea, Genital herpes, general Warts, Trichomoniasis, syphilis among others. These

diseases are life- threatening, painful and could lead to infertility (2016:82)

Victims to Ritualists: the act of engaging in premarital sex has made some youth victim of

ritualists. Most university students, especially the females have often be victim of ritualists. In a

bit to live “big” on the campus, greed and lack of contentment, these female students easily jump

at any offer thrown at them. Unknown to several of these young girls, they get carried away with

the laudable offer of money, date, shopping etc. which is used as a bait and are caught in the net

of no return. Research revealed that those who engaged in premarital sex become easy targets for

ritual activities. Most people who were looking for human parts for ritual purposes give huge

amounts of money to greedy and materialistic students which perhaps make them lose their body

parts or even their lives (Abdullahi and Umar, 2013:15).

Wrath of God: premarital sex is against biblical injunction and as result attract the wrath of God.

Mashau asserts that those who engage in sex outside marriage act against the will of God and are

thereby inviting the wrath of God into their lives (2011:4). Jesus declares “Look I am coming

soon! My reward is with me and I will give each person according to what they have done.

Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the

idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehoods” (Revelation 22:12 &15NIV). Also,
Hebrews 13:4 corroborates that “marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept

pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” It is true God is a merciful

God, it should be noted that he is also a God of Judgement. The book of Hebrew 12:29 says “Our

God is a consuming fire.” He is just and will never reduce his standard for anyone

Biblical Perspective of Premarital Sex

Sexuality should be is seen as part of the human beauties (Wolters 1990:12). Mashau observed

that human sexuality is very complex and it is more than just sex. It affects marriage, family,

society and all that human kind is called to do (2011:5). Although sex originate from God and

meant to be enjoyed but must be practiced within the context of marriage. God design sex for

marriage, and it is meant to take place between a husband and his wife. According to God’s plan

when sex is experienced within the context of marriage, the pleasure is maximized. Biblical

injunction posit that sex is strictly reserved for married couples, that is, matured adult male and

female and not for two unmarried, young, immature male and female that are not prepared for

marital obligations. Also, it should be noted that sex was never designed to be practiced between

two male and two female. Mashau further explicates that God’s blue print for marriage is well

summed up in Genesis 2:24 indicating marriage as an institution with three pillars- leave, cleave

and oneness. Mashau also note that it is only after Adam and Eve were joined together in

marriage that God blessed them and permitted them to have sex and muiltiply.

Although, the word premarital sex is not out rightly mentioned in the Bible, several

scriptures posit that God frowns at sex outside marriage and engaging in it attracts God’s

judgement. Some of these scriptures include:

1. 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain
from sexual immorality; that each one of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and
honour, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”

2. Ephesians 5:3 says, “But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among
you, as is proper among saints.”

3. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is
outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

4. 1 Corinthians 7:2 says, “because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have
his own wife and each woman her own husband.”

5. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators
and adulterers God will judge.”

6. Acts 15:20 says, “But should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and
from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from the blood.”

7. Colossians 3:5 says, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality,
impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

The Bible enjoins Christian to honour God in their body which are God’s (1 Cor. 10:31).

Therefore, Christians should honour God in whatever choice they make in life including sexual

choices. Mashau affirms that the Bible condemns fornication, adultery, homosexuality,

lesbianism, incest and the defilement of one’s marriage vows by engaging in any of the

despicable acts stated above.

Transforming Contemporary Christian Youths through Christian Education

There is the need to promote Christian education in the various institution that are concerned.

The home, church and schools are saddled with the task of Christian education. Christian

education has not enjoyed the full attention it deserved nor has it been carried out to its fullest

potential in the Baptist Convention and the church of Jesus Christ in general. It is established that

Christian education is a means of handing on the Christian faith from person to person and from

one generation to another (Deut. 6:4-9). As a Christian educator, this writer will utilize the
knowledge gathered in the course of this seminar to promote the educational ministry of the

church and ensure it is effective functioning.

The home, church and school are like a tripod stool that need one another to function

maximally. If one leg were accidentally broken, the seat becomes uncomfortable and unstable.

This concept of the three legged stool can be applied to Christian education, with the home, the

church and the school representing each leg of the stool. If the home, church, and school will

assume their responsibility as required, the child will develop holistically, see the world better

and survive well as citizen of God’s kingdom in this world.

Youths are in great need of proper education, if they must fulfil the purpose of God and

be relevant in the world. Every attempt to exalt intellectual culture above moral training is

already misdirected. Many times this writer wonder and ask “Which of these institutions has the

first responsibility of training the child? The home, of course because the family circle is the first

school in which the child receives its first and most enduring lessons. Hence, parents should be

much at home. By precept and example, they should teach their children the love and the fear of

God. They are to teach them to be intelligent, social and affectionate, to cultivate habits of

industry, economy and self-denial.

Parents will be providing the children, a safe environment and a welcome retreat from

many of the world’s temptation when they are shown love, sympathy, and encouraged. Solomon

admonished in Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go and when He grows, he

will not depart from it.” Today, most parents invest more on the intellectual development of their

children and pay little or no attention to their spiritual wellbeing. The home is not expected to

leave the spiritual nurture of their wards to the church and school alone. The salvation of the

child is never the responsibility of the school, but that of the parents. Some persons learned in
family settings. Timothy was influenced by both his grandmother, Lois and His mother, Eunice

(2 Tim. 1:5, 3:15).

The church involvement in ministry to the children and young ones should be improved

upon. Aside, making provision for the physical and financial resources for the ministry, they

should invest and monitor the spiritual growth of the young ones. The church should provide a

good and conducive teaching environment that will attract the young ones Today’s youths are

faced with diverse challenges and experiencing more battle going on in their minds as they

decide on what to do with numerous choices all around them. The only safety for them in this

age of sin and crime is to have a living connection with God. Therefore, the church should

engage in effective and active youth ministry.

Also, the church should train and equip leaders/workers who will be to effectively teach

the young ones with godly examples. The youth should be taught and encouraged in the word of

God. They should be educated to venerate the counsels of God in His holy oracles. They should

be well instructed that they will develop a strong will against evil and determine they will not

enter into any path where Jesus will not accompany them. The church should organise forum or

workshops through the educational ministry to teach and educate young ones on premarital

relationships and the position of God on premarital sex. Again, the church should encourage

parents to give their children quality home upbringing. This should not just be a teaching a set of

rules or morals but making a commitment to make each child know Jesus Christ intimately as

Personal Lord and Saviour (Ayandokun, 2013, 161-163).

In addition, parent should be charged to teach their children God’s expectation from them

in every situation of life using the Bible as manuals, praying and counseling them regularly

either when at home or even when they are away in the school. It is of noteworthy for parents to
walk the talk by also practicing what they teach their children because they are greatly

influenced by their immediate environment. It is the responsibility of the church to provide

parents with the needed parenting skills that can equip parents in the training and teaching of

their youths and other children (Ayandokun, 2013, 161-163).

Furthermore, the Christian schools are meant to be educating and training schools. As the

young ones are being trained, they should be exposed to practical godliness that will make them

fit for any place of usefulness in our world, or in the church and in any field they may be called

to serve. If students have been taught Christian principles and the word of God has been

respected in their homes and God’s teaching have been made the law of the home by wise and

God-fearing parents, when they get to school the same education will continue.

Conclusion

This paper discussed premarital sex among contemporary Christian youths in Nigeria. Pre-

marital sex is fast becoming the norm and lifestyle of most of the young ones in the Nigeria

society. It is very unfortunate that this despicable acts is not known with children of the unchurch

parents but equally has become a common phenomenal among Christian families, clergy

inclusive. Therefore, necessary measures must be put in place to forestall this social malaise

among Christian youths. It is pertinent for parents, adults, youth leaders and those who deal with

youths to understand youths and their developmental traits. A knowledge of this will help them

know the probable causes of deviant behaviour traits in youths and this will guide in knowing the

necessary measures to take in either preventing or handling them. This paper also discussed

concept of premarital sex, factors promoting and consequences of premarital sex among

Christian youths as well as the Biblical perspective on premarital sex.

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