Last winter, I did a big mistake. That made a lot of tough on me.

I had never told to anyone

about this. Now I am going to tell you by hoping your advice. I won’t beat around the bush.
Actually, I sent a message to my crush who lives in front of my house. When I sent him
message, he replied me kindly. Some days later, he told me “I Love You “. I was happy because
as you know I had some feelings for him. But I refused him because of my prestige.

And I know, if I was care about my prestige, I shouldn’t talk to him. Then two days later, he
asked me to give him an answer. At that time, I gave him an answer without thinking about
anything. After two months later, I knew that he had a girlfriend -not me the other one - so I
broke up with him as soon as I knew about it. But he told , if I’d waited to him, he would have
broken up with his another girlfriend. So I gave him time. However, he didn’t do anything.
When I started feel he wasn’t any honesty, I broke up again. And I know he had no feelings for
me because of seeing each other every day. In fact, for me, I still feel cheerlessly. And I have no
finesse for this problem. I exactly know that I don’t want to get back together and chances of
changing his minds are slim. But when we see each other, he pretends to a good person with
good manners. He seems to think himself infallible. That’s why I can’t forgive him.

All human beings are fallible but he played with me. On the other hand, I still want to talk with
him and I feel lonely. I want to come over this situation and I want to know how should I treat
him back even though we haven’t talked each other. And plus, I don’t want to be a loser and
pathetic person anymore.

Feedback

***I’ve split the document into portions, just so that it doesn’t get too complicated for the
comments.

Word count 345/200 – quite a lot over (in this case no matter, but if it was a written test – make
sure to stay as close to 200 as possible)

Flow wise – it’s quite good you do it in the correct order. What happened, outcome etc.
I found the first part or two had more errors – I think that’s quite typical when people aren’t sure
of their own writing. It will come with practice. Or, write it, then wait a few days and look at it
again.
No major problems. Just little things that you’ll get used to in time. Please see the comments
section to the right.
I think it would help you a lot to rewrite it, changing the errors.

Flow 5

Content 3

Grammar 3

Vocab 4

Tone 5

20/25 – good score.

On a separate note, as you asked for my opinion…..forget about him. You know he is no good for you,
don’t waste your time. It’s better to wait for the right person that mess about with a dishonest
person.