Coherence & Cohesion

When you write an essay, it needs to make sense from the beginning to the end. Ideas follow each other
both in the essay and in the paragraphs. This flow of ideas is called coherence and does usually cause
many problems for most students. These coherent ideas should flow towards a logical conclusion in each
paragraph, as well as in the essay as a whole.
Cohesion, on the other hand, is the flow of English. Cohesion is used in such a way that it isn't noticed. The
words just flow. Many students, however, insist on only using cohesive devices such as 'in addition',
'furthermore', or ‘meanwhile’ to add some flow, whereas good referencing will always be more successful.
Referring back to the previous sentence using the pronouns it, they, them, their, and so on is essential for
any higher score, but to be used correctly it has to be accurate.

For example
Parents should make every effort to teach their children the difference between right and wrong. This will
save them a huge amount of time and effort in later years.

Who is 'them' in the second sentence? It's the parents. If you want to reference the children, you could do it
like this:

Parents should make every effort to teach their children the difference between right and wrong. This will
save these youngsters a huge amount of time and effort in later years.

Using referencing in this way is deeply cohesive and will make any essay flow well. Consequently, using
referencing and cohesive devices together takes overall cohesion to a much higher level.

To advance further, the following method can be used.

Especially when readers are learning about new concepts or processes, readers comprehend ideas most
easily when familiar (“known”) information is located at the beginning of sentences, and unfamiliar (“new”)
information is located toward the end of sentences.

At the beginning of a sentence, readers expect to:

- Learn what the sentence is about.
- Connect the sentence to what they’ve already read.
- Find “known” or familiar information.

Toward the end of a sentence, readers:

- Expect to see new and important ideas and information.
- Focus most of their attention and effort.

Readers may have difficulty processing ideas when writers locate new information at the beginnings of
sentences.
To create cohesion in your writing, follow these guidelines:
- At the beginning of a sentence, put “known” information: ideas that you have already mentioned or
concepts you can reasonably assume your reader is already familiar with.
- At the end of a sentence, put the newest, most unfamiliar information. This is often the information you
want to emphasize and perhaps expand on in your next sentence.

Compare…
Which of these short paragraphs is easier to read and comprehend?
1. Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists exploring
the nature of black holes in space. The collapse of a dead star into a very small point creates a black hole.
So much matter compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in profoundly
puzzling ways.

2. Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists exploring
the nature of black holes in space. A black hole is created when a dead star collapses into a very small
point. So much matter compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in profoundly
puzzling ways.

If you are like many readers, you probably found the second paragraph somewhat easier to read and
understand. This is because the first paragraph did not fully implement the known/new contract.

Explanation and Analysis

1. Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists exploring
the nature of black holes in space. The collapse of a dead star into a very small point creates a black
hole. So much matter compressed into so little volume changes the fabric of space around it in profoundly
puzzling ways.

Analysis of the paragraph’s information flow

Sentence 1 begins with a concept the reader is likely to be familiar with (questions), and it ends with a new
concept (black holes). Good.
But sentence 2 begins with another new concept (the collapse of a dead star), and it ends with a
concept that has already been introduced (a black hole). Thus, the ideas in sentences 1 and 2 are
difficult to connect.
Sentence 3 is back on track: it begins with an idea that has already been mentioned (a lot of matter
compressed into little volume), and it ends with new information (the fabric of space around the black hole).

Revising sentence 2 to present “known” information at the beginning and new information at the end makes
the paragraph easier to read and understand.
This method takes a lot of practice but will take your coherence and cohesion to the next level. Preparation
and practice are essential so it can be implemented in the planning stage.
Consider this other example:
(When talking about the environment)
Firstly, urban life, together with smog and car fumes are said to be detrimental for the environment causing
greenhouse effect and contributing to global warming. Factories also increment this issue while releasing
vast amounts of carbon dioxide when functioning. And there are not enough policies that prevent massive,
relentless fuel extractions that ultimately damage ecosystems and the inhabitants of the ecosystems, too.

While it shows a wide range of vocabulary, one can notice that there’s too much information in a contrived
manner, and the ideas are not clearly organized in such a way that the reader can process the details
properly. Also, repetition is made because referencing has not been extensively used.

Check this improved version:

Firstly, urban life and all its implications are said to be detrimental for the environment. Problems related
to smog and car fumes, together with factories and their carbon dioxide release certainly contribute to the
so-called problems, like greenhouse effect and global warming. Additionally, not enough policies are
implemented in order to prevent massive, relentless fuel extractions that ultimately damage ecosystems
and their inhabitants alike.

As you may have noticed, by using more cohesive devices and references within a paragraph, the ideas
are much clearer and better organized, first introducing what the paragraph is going to be about (topic
sentence) without giving excessive information on the matter, and tentatively assuming some common
knowledge on the reader; then including some examples that can prove vocabulary and expressions
acquired for the task (smog, car fumes, carbon dioxide, greenhouse effect, global warming); and finally
including an extra point to support your topic sentence and give extra examples (lack of eco-friendly
policies).

Practice. Read this paragraph and change it using cohesive devices and referencing, so that it
sounds more organized.

(When talking about how good playing video games can be)
To begin with, problem-solving skills and team work can be highly developed by playing particular video
games like Minecraft. Players need to work together for an objective in common and the players can also
learn to organise tasks among each other and, thus, fulfil tasks faster and more efficiently. As well as this,
gamers can spend time with friends or make new friends in the process, so ultimately playing video games
proves to be more advantageous than commonly thought.

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