Internal Assessment: Individual Oral

Évaluation interne : oral individuel

Oral individual de la evaluación interna

Examiner commentary / Commentaires de l’examinateur / Comentarios del examinador

May / Mai / Mayo 2021

37
Total marks / Total des points / Puntuación total

Criterion A / Critère A / Criterio A:

9
Marks awarded /Points attribués / Puntuación asignada

This student shows excellent and thorough knowledge of not only the extract but also excellent knowledge of
poems from the collection. The student is able to draw upon specific (and interesting) references from the
wider work to show interesting and original interpretations such as the quotes about the goldfish (“Education
for Leisure”) to link to the idea of alienation and the negligent environment, or the links made to “Money
Talks” and how we don’t own money but money owns us. This is an example of a student who has persuasive
interpretations and uses references to support these.

It is clear that the student understands the intricate and sometimes complex meaning behind the works and
the effects these meanings have on the reader or viewer, such as how Banksy explores the idea of
complacency, or how he forces the audience to consider the dire situation of many who choose social change
over individual life choices. Again, with the Banksy extract, the student is able to bring in several interesting
and relevant to links to the body of work such as the child on the streets with the balloon and how society has
alienated her. There is a sense that perhaps more links could have been made for Banksy’s body of work, but
the ones that are used are persuasive and very interesting.

Sometimes, there is a sense that this is quite a wide global issue focusing on alienation and money; however,
there's no denying that this is persuasive interpretation and excellent knowledge of work, body of work and
extracts.
Criterion B / Critère B / Criterio B:
9
Marks awarded /Points attribués / Puntuación asignada

The student analyses and evaluates a range of authorial choices in the poetry such as the symbol of snowman
and its meanings, or the use of personification. Whilst these might not always seem like the most complex
devices (especially for the Banksy analysis), it is the level of detail and evaluation the student uses when
discussing such choices and the interpretations that really place this in the top band.
The student fully explores the persona created by Duffy in “Stealing”. There are many moments of interesting,
persuasive and original analysis such as the point made about why the thief starts with the head, and the idea
that the theft is about human contact rather than anything linked to money. The student doesn’t just talk
quickly about authorial choices, but delves into meaning and the creation of the persona with such detail,
even telling us to ‘look closer’. The student manages to use this analysis to leave us with interesting
questions about the poem that perhaps we had not previously explored: ‘perhaps he is young which would
explain the unsatisfied sexual desires?’ The student cleverly manages to link the exploration and analysis of
this persona in “Stealing” to many of Duffy’s other works and her ‘classic style.’
The student maintains this level of depth for the discussion of Banksy’s work. Again, the student explores the
persona presented in the extract and offers some interesting evaluations about how the authorial choices
help us to realise the dire situation this persona is in, and the effect on the viewer: how it shocks the audience
out of their complacency. The student analyses the double meaning of ‘change’, the bleak colours and how
they represent the inability of society to change. The student again brings in ideas that challenge and even
teach the listener something about the extract and Banksy’s other pieces of work, for example the point about
how this work could be challenging the perception we have of a hero.

Criterion C/ Critère C / Criterio C:

10
Marks awarded /Points attribués / Puntuación asignada

There is no doubt that this is a focused and detailed oral. The student always remains focused on the global
issue and gives equal attention to all four elements: the two extracts, the work and the body of work. The
amount of content covered is very impressive.

The student has ensured even coverage between the extracts and the work/body of work. Timings are
effective and we get a comprehensive overview of all aspects.

The student uses an introduction setting out the global issues and also setting out the interpretations that
will be covered. An interesting conclusion is also used that summarises how the extracts are similar in their
portrayal of youth and the degeneration of youth. Even in the final lines, the student manages to teach the
listener and leave us with new and lasting insights about the works: it is a curable youth that need a little
attention. This is an example of a very well-planned and well-executed oral even down to the final line.

It is cohesive and the student has an incredible ability at being able to transition between the extracts and
the works – especially when discussing Duffy’s work.
Criterion D / Critère D / Criterio D:
9
Marks awarded /Points attribués / Puntuación asignada

This is consistently clear, accurate and effective.

It is completely appropriate during both the main body of the talk and the teacher discussion.

There are some lovely moments when the student changes her tone to engage and even amuse the listener
such as when covering the more awkward moments of Duffy’s sexual innuendo ‘frozen stiff’, almost as if the
student is trying to spare the listener’s blushes! There is a range of language, with effective and ambitious
choices.

There are interesting pauses, subtle and slight changes in tone when reading out quotes, variations in syntax,
sophisticated devices such as tricolons: ‘persistent, unrepentant and possibly’. This student has consciously
selected language choices to enhance this oral.

General Commentary / Commentaire général / Comentario general:

This is a great example of a student who has really engaged with their selection of extracts and their wider
works. The student has kept the global issue as the focal point throughout their oral and has used the issue
to create some very original and persuasive interpretations. They managed to show a detailed level of
knowledge across all four aspects of the task: the two extracts and the work/wider work.