Book Title: eTextbook: Fundamentals of Case Management Practice: Skills for the Human Services

Chapter 11. Addressing and Disarming Anger

Avoiding the Number-One Mistake

Avoiding the Number-One Mistake

Countless times human service workers encounter people who are openly angry. Many of those workers

choose to take that anger personally. Taking anger personally is the number-one mistake when dealing

with an angry person. It is a foolish mistake to make.

As noted earlier, people become angry for a number of reasons. Some of these reasons have nothing to do

with the worker specifically. Other times the anger may be caused by something the worker or the agency

has done, and the anger may be rude and denigrating. Nevertheless, beyond disarming the anger, it is

important that when you encounter an angry client, you refrain from taking the anger personally. It is

not about you and how you feel. It is always about the client and your professional response to the client.

A worker who chooses to take the anger of a client personally might end up in a conversation something

like this.

Client: Where the hell were you on Tuesday?

Worker: What do you mean?

Client: Where the hell were you? I came in to get a voucher for food, and you weren’t

here.

Worker: Why are you shouting at me? I wasn’t here, but you don’t have to shout.

Client: I do have to shout! You say to come in here for a voucher, and I did that, and you

were not even here. Where the hell were you?

Worker: Look, Mr. Peters, I don’t have to tell you where I was. If you came in and I

wasn’t here, why didn’t you tell someone else what you needed? I’m not the only

person who can help you.

Client: I get so damn tired of the way you guys act like prima donnas. Who the hell gave
 you the right to tell all of us when to come and when to go? You say come in, I come in,

like a fool, and you decide you’ll just go someplace else.

Worker: Well, if that’s the way you feel, you certainly don’t need my help. I’ve spent

quite a lot of time with you, may I remind you? You have gotten a lot from this agency.

I’m not sure I’m going to put up with this shouting at me.

Client: Well, what are you going to do about it? I can tell you that you are a piss-poor

caseworker if I want to. I can’t do much else around here, but I can do that!

Worker: You’re an idiot. Go out and get the voucher from Mrs. Charles, bring it back

here, and I’ll sign it (begins reading papers on her desk).

In this example, the relationship is damaged, and there is an unsatisfactory resolution. Bitter feelings

remain for both the worker and the client.

There is a better way to handle situations like this one. This chapter will explain how to use a four-step

process to deal with anger. The central question you want to ask yourself is this: Can I feel empathic

toward this angry person and hear the pain behind all this anger—or am I likely to get into a power

struggle with this angry person to show I won’t be pushed around? Empathy is the professional response.

Power is the unprofessional response.