Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Facts On Poop
Facts On Poop
Facts about Poop | Facts about Farts | Greeting Cards | Photo Gallery | Send Poop to your mean friends | Home Page
To SmellyPoop.com
Hi,
A friend of mine just sent me the link to your website for fun. I really enjoyed the ‘Survival Guide for Taking a
Dump at Work’. However, I believe that there is an error among your explanation for the color of feces. The
brown color is a result of broken down red blood cells, but I don’t think that it’s a result of iron. Most of the iron
that is released from the breakdown of heme is reabsorbed by cells in the bone marrow for incorporation into
new red blood cells. That’s why we don’t have a large daily requirement for iron in our diets. Anyhow, what
remains of the hemoglobin is then called biliverdin, which is converted into bilirubin and is excreted. This
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 1/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
compound can build up in some people and cause jaundice. The colors of these molecules are due to their
complex structures, which contain rings of carbon and nitrogen atoms. Intestinal bacteria further modify bilirubin
to produce urobilinogen and stercobilinogen. If I remember correctly, the red color of blood is also due to the
porphyrin ring of heme and not iron.
So, you’re absolutely correct to say that it’s a complicated explanation and it has to do with the breakdown of
red blood cells, but I don’t think that iron has anything to do with the brown color of poop or the red color of
blood.
-Dustin
I have consulted with a doctor, a physiologist and a microbiologist on this question, and the following
summarizes their answers:
Healthy people can have green poop if they eat a diet rich in leafy green vegetables, or if they consume large
quantities of food coloring (in ice cream, cake frosting etc.).
Green poop can also be caused by excess iron in the diet, from dietary supplements, for example. If the body
does not absorb all the iron consumed, the iron may stain the poop green, the color of iron (II) salts. Ordinarily,
the green color may be masked by the normal brown poop color, but if digestion is thrown off by illness so that
bilirubin is less concentrated in the intestine, the green color may become apparent. This can happen when a
person is afflicted with diarrhea.
Green poop in sick babies may come from iron in baby formula not being properly absorbed, or by green
pigments in bile salts (again, green from iron).
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 2/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
Unlike mammals, birds don't urinate. Their kidneys extract nitrogenous wastes from the bloodstream, but
instead of excreting it as urea dissolved in urine as we do, they excrete it in the form of uric acid. Uric acid has a
very low solubility in water, so it emerges as a white paste. This material, as well as the output of the intestines,
emerges from the bird's cloaca. The cloaca is a multi-purpose hole for birds: their wastes come out of it, they
have sex by putting their cloacas together, and females lay eggs out of it.
This isn't really scientific, but I did a quick survey, and everyone asked (including both males and females)
said that they wipe sitting down. There was even a reason provided: that sitting down spreads the cheeks apart
and makes access easier. This survey was done on Guam, and Guam is technically part of the United States,
and most people here probably use American toilet habits. However, if you travel a bit, you will discover that
people deal with left-over poop in different ways in other parts of the world.
In Europe, for example, that water fountain in the bathroom isn't for drinking. It's a bidet for hosing off after
using the toilet.
In Southeast Asia, you don't sit on the toilet at all. The toilet is a low, porcelain-lined trench, and the user
squats over it. Next to the toilet is a bin of water. You scoop water out of the bin with your left hand and use that
to cleanse yourself. You aren't supposed to use your left hand for any other purpose.
Corn poop is one of the greatest mysteries in life. I grew up pondering the same question. This is what I think
is happening:
When we chew corn, the outer coating slips off the inner kernal. This outer yellow coating is almost entirely
cellulose, and is indigestible. It passes through the gut untouched, and emerges looking like a whole kernal,
although it is mostly just the outer skin. The inside of the kernal is starchy and digestible, and that is the part
that we succeed in chewing up.
In humans, soft poop is really one long, mostly continuous sausage before it comes out. It gets its "link" look
because we tend to pinch off lengths of it with the anal sphincter as the poop emerges. If a person pinches hard
enough, the poop separates into several turd units. If the person doesn't pinch that hard, the turds may stay
connected.
If you can remain sufficiently relaxed, you can produce an awesomely long poop that will coil up inside the
toilet.
Floaters are turds that have an unusually high gas content. Sometimes the gases produced by bacteria in our
gut don't have a chance to collect into a large fart bubble, but remain dispersed in the feces. The poop then
comes out foamy, and has a lower density than water.
This is generally caused by a recent meal of hot peppers or related spices. The oils associated with these
foods remain intact and active all the way through one's gastrointestinal system. These oils can also generate
hot farts.
Turds can get very large and dry if a person is constipated, causing painful stretching of the anal opening.
Pooping can also hurt if the person has hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are engorged veins in the anal area. A
doctor once described them to me as "varicose veins of the anus," which suggests that the valves in the veins
that are supposed to keep the blood flowing in the right direction have gotten messed up. Pooping can also be
painful if the person suffers from an anal fissure, a tear in the tissue of the rectum.
Yes, meat protein is rich in sulfides, resulting in smellier farts and poop. This is the reason that the poop of
carnivores such as dogs, cats and snakes smells worse than the poop of herbivores such as cows and horses.
Not normally; fortunately the plumbing of the genitalia is entirely separate from the plumbing of the digestive
system! However, there are certain pathological situations that can cause the pipes to get connected together
wrong. Cancer can do it, as can surgical diversions of the human tubing. Such fistulas, as they are called, can
cause feces to come out of the urinary system, or urine to come out of the anus.
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 5/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
This sounds like urban legend to me. It would take a heck of a lot of hydrogen to explode a toilet in this
manner, and intestinal gases just don't have that much. Also, any flame would just flare up briefly. With an open
toilet, you couldn't get up enough pressure to pop the pot!
Well... it all started many years ago when I was a graduate student in Buffalo, New York, and my roommate
and I started writing down all the synonyms we could think of for poop, farts, and other bodily products,
functions and parts. We called our collection "The Nether Thesaurus" and we went around showing it to people
and collecting more words. This is a continuation of the poop part of that.
Then some linguists saw The Nether Thesaurus and said it was a valuable resource for linguistic analysis.
Now, I'm not a linguist except as an amateur, so if any of you are linguistics professionals, feel free to analyze
these lists! Just let me know what you discover.
Then I started collecting those fun rhymes that kids make up on the playground, and called the collection
"Kiddie Scats." The relevant part of that collection is included here, too.
As for the questions, people have a lot of natural curiosity about bodily functions.
And then there's the undeniable fact that poop is funny! It smells funny, it sounds funny coming out, and it's
dirty, private, and stinky, which makes it even funnier.
And I guess that's why I made a website about poop!
According to Eric Partridge in his excellent book of word origins (Origins: A Short Etymological Dictionary of
Modern English), "poop" comes from the Middle English word poupen or popen, and it originally meant "fart."
The word was based on the sound of a fart. According to Robert Chapman, author of American Slang, "poop"
came into use with its current meaning around 1900.
For those of you who hate pooping at work as much as I do, I give you the.........
Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually
accompanied by a sudden wave of panic/embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when
passing an unseen police car & speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not
happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an
escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 6/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with escapee): When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun's
pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen do not panic, remain in the
stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and
the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink
up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the shitter. This
can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend
that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an
Out of the Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look
around the office for the Out OF THE CLOSET POOPER before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN): This is a group of coworkers who band together to ensure
emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF
THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVEN: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try
floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the
bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR: A pooper who does not realize that you're in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is
one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain
in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. TURD
BURGLARS have been know to cause premature pinchage, which inevitably causes you to pinch one off in the
middle.
CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can
be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in
conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE: This is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert all potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a
stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom
immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing
incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often
accompanied by an escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.
UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in
front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you
should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other
bathroom attendees.
FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are
others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People
may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
DEFENTIONS OF Poop
GHOST Poop: The kind where you feel the Poop come out, but there is no Poop in the toilet.
CLEAN Poop: The kind where you Poop it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.
WET Poop: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some
toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 7/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
SECOND WAVE Poop: This happens when you're done Pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your
knees, and you realize that you have to Poop some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-Poop: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically
have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG Poop: The kind of Poop that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little
pieces with the toilet brush.
DRINKER Poop: The kind of Poop you have the morning after a night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is
the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-Poop-Poop: The kind where you want to Poop, but all you do is set on the toilet and
fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP Poop: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS Poop: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get
splashed with water.
LIQUID Poop: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet
bowl.
THE SURPRISE Poop: You are not at the toilet because you think you are about to fart but...oops...a
Poop!!! THE DANGLING Poop: This Poop refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are
done Pooping it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
coeliac passion
colon cannonballs (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
colon cobras (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
corndogs
corn eyed butt snake (contributed by Lowing9763)
corn kernal poopie (contributed by Abeoww99)
corn loaf
corn massacre (contributed by Cheetah)
corn porphyry
crab apples (contributed by PGotelli)
crap
crapola
crapsters (contributed by Filthyniga)
creamy butt nuggets (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
crud
crusty critters (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
crut (French)
cupcakes (contributed by Filthyniga)
dark catsup (contributed by SurfWithCowz)
dead soldier
defecation
dejecta
demo (Russian - contributed by Gray)
digested Crayola box (contributed by Cheetah)
dirt
diver down (contributed by Kuestiq)
do-do
dobby
dong (Korean - contributed by Ghoulslime)
doo
doobs
doodie
doodly-squat
dookie
dookie doo
dookie-doop-droop (contributed by Lunacy)
down periscope (contributed by Cheetah)
dreck (Yiddish)
drol (Dutch)
dropping
dump
dumpette
dung
Dunkin' Donuts (contributed by KingofDucks)
Easter Bunny's present (contributed by Cheetah)
egesta
ejecta
ejectamenta
excrement
excreta
exuviae
fecal browns (contributed by Red)
fecal matter (contributed by Filthyn)
fecal pellet
feces
feces freeway find
feculence
floater (one that won't flush)
floaties (little floating ones - contributed by David C.)
foeces
the fourth teletubby (contributed by Neonpax)
frightened turtle (contributed by ShutUrMouth)
fudge
fudge brownie
funky monkey (contributed by ILuvDAC)
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 10/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
glitch
gobbers (contributed by Lordmetal3)
gobjobbers (contributed by Lordmetal3)
golden brownies (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
googe
govno (Russian)
grandpas (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
grunties (contributed by BLAH0761)
ha-ha
ham (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
hardened fudge nuggets (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
hawky
hell's candy (contributed by Yourmamy)
himno (Ukrainian)
hockey
hocky
Hoffenmist (German)
ho-hoes (contributed by Filthyn)
honey
hoya
hyzenga
ice cream (from the Cheech and Chong movie, Up in Smoke - contributed by Fry)
Indian rug burns (contributed by GodspeeDB)
Irish shave
jakes
jobbers (contributed by Lordmetal3)
jobby (Glasgow)
jujubees (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
kaka
kakashka (Russian "piece of poop" - contributed by Gray)
keech (Glasgow)
keester cakes (contributed by Allison, Erica and Kelly)
kiki
kisses (contributed by Autumn)
kuso (Japanese - contributed by Ghoulslime)
lientary
lienteria
lincoln logs (contributed by Shawne L.)
little army men (contributed by Filthyn)
load
loaf
log
looloos (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
lump (contributed by ShutUrMouth)
lumpy fart
majon (Spanish - a big turd - contributed by Junibomb)
merda (Italian and Spanish - contributed by Gray)
merde (French)
mess
miercoles (Mexican Spanish slang, literally "Wednesday" - contributed by Brandon P.)
mierda (Mexican Spanish - contributed by Brandon P.)
mierde (Spanish)
minga
Mississippi mud (contributed by SSCriminl2)
mojon (Mexican Spanish - contributed by Brandon P.)
monglin cluster shit (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
monkey tail (contributed by Julia1G)
monsters that can choke donkeys (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
mooky-stinks (contributed by MonkeyCube)
moomoos (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
Mr. Hanky (contributed by IceCube239)
muck
muky stinks (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
mud bunny
mudfat balls (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 11/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
nib
nip
nookie cookie (contributed by IceCube239)
nugs (contributed by Lunacy)
number two
nunny (contributed by Fullten2)
oples and bononos (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
ordure
package (contributed by Poopmaster)
pancake
peanut butter poop (poop that resembles chunky peanut butter - contributed by KickBaba)
pile
pipicaca (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
plop
poo
poop
poop deck (contributed by Cheetah)
poopie
poopie doobles (contributed by Abs0lutelynot)
poopie pie (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
pooplets (contributed by Rachel)
poopness (contributed by Filthyn)
poopoo
poo-poo platter (contributed by Steve)
poopsey (contributed by Filthyn)
poopsie lala
poopsters (contributed by Filthyn)
potty animals (contributed by Filthyn)
product of Uranus
pudding (contributed by LUGZONU)
puddin' taine (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
rectum warriors (contributed by CaptnHowdy669)
returds (contributed by Filthyn)
scat (contributed by Codydavipr)
Scheisse (German - contributed by Gray)
schijt (Dutch)
scrapper (contributed by TronDX)
scuba divers (contributed by Filthyn)
sea pickle (contributed by JKOTE1)
sewage
sewer serpents (contributed by SWEATY4)
sewer trout
shat (contributed by Blink182qp)
shit
shite
shit on a shingle (contributed by Junibomb)
shit on a stick (contributed by LUGZONU)
shitsicles (frozen poop - contributed by DopeyAS)
shitsters (contributed by Filthyn)
shiza (German - contributed by ECWBalls)
sissy (contributed by Lisa L.)
skata (Greek)
Skeet (Danish - contributed by Mary S.)
smoked ham (contributed by SWEATY4)
snap (contributed by Cameron A., Brisbaine, Australia)
soil
space slug (contributed by Neonpax)
splasher (contributed by Yourmamy)
squat
S.R.T. (from a child's misspelling of "shit" - contributed by HtsCheese)
steamer
stercoration
stinky pinky (contributed by Silky)
stool
Stoolgang (German)
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 12/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
stoolie
stuff
submarine
Super Shit Man (contributed by Filthyn)
sweet violet
tahi (Malay)
taki (Chamoru)
tangy butt nuts (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
tatertots (contributed by GodspeeDB)
that ain't chocolate puddin'! (contributed by THUMBTAKKHEAD)
thirty second buzz (contributed by Nrdbmber)
tinky winky (contributed by Filthyn)
toast
toileteers (contributed by Screechr86)
toilet twinkie (contributed by ShaftyBL0W)
tom cruise missiles (contributed by Sickness74)
tootsie roll
tord (Old English)
toxic turdeys (contributed by LaysTatoChips222)
toy-toy
tree trunks (contributed by Lordmetal3)
tukhus matter
turd
turd tunnel tasty
turtle head poking out (contributed by METALLICA8681 and Cardicum)
turtle tail (contributed by Kris)
tutti (Hindi - contributed by PRECIOUS8582)
uchra (Arabic - contributed by Lilliz23456)
unko (Japanese - contributed by Rik)
wad
water log (contributed by Yourmamy)
the whole shebang (contributed by ShutUrMouth)
wolf bait (contributed by Lunacy)
yellow submarine (contributed by Filthy)
yetto
yit
yukky
Diarrhea
Animal Droppings
Dingleberries (balls of fecal matter adhering to the hairs around the anus, either of animals or humans)
Constipation
anal impaction
apathy of the anal sphincter
bound (Newfoundland)
bound up (Newfoundland)
bunged-up dinglebungus
can't get the train out of the tunnel (contributed by A.J.)
clogged up (contributed by Mary S.)
colon congestion (contributed by Big Will)
constipation
constipation proclamation (contributed by Abeoww99)
corked (contributed by ShaftyBL0W)
dry heaves of the anus
far-from-poopin ("German" - contributed by Clay S.)
full of shit
ghost poopie (contributed by Abeoww99)
having one stuck sideways (contributed by Jesse B.)
having two Thanksgiving dinners (contributed by Big Will)
hung chow (contributed by Porchdance)
irregularity
log jam (contributed by Mary S.)
plugged up
pop-a-vein in the forehead poopy (contributed by Mary S.)
rectal congestion
redwoods (contributed by Mary S.)
the strains
stuck up
Students in Erie, PA (late 1980s) refered to the waste-water treatment plant as "the shit factory."
Jill W. says that a person who works in a waste-water treatment plant is a "turd-herder."
Nelson A. refers to people who are pooping as "anal lumberjacks."
NakedEwok says that "crowning" is a word for an urgent need to poop.
Tom B. and his friends use the term "poopaltaneously" to describe two or more people pooping simultaneously,
as in adjacent stalls in a public restroom.
Similarly, Jake refers to such simultaneous pooping in adjacent public stalls as a "drag race."
If someone is constipated, Poopmaster says, "Get the ass plunger!"
A.J. points out that the expression "Shit a brick" means to be pissed off.
In Newfoundland, if you "shit-haul" your vehicle, it means you are treating it badly, like taking it where only a 4-
wheel drive vehicle should go, or loading up the bed of a pick-up with too much weight.
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 20/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
Also from Newfoundland is the term "shit-baked," which means terrified.
"Shit-faced" means drunk.
Mama Mia,
Papa Pia,
Baby's got the diarrhea!
Mama said it wouldn't hurt,
So Daddy ate it for dessert!
(contributed by NakedEwok)
(contributed by Vadar)
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
Some people think it's funny,
But it's good with toast and honey,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
(contributed by Kryptoman)
(contributed by Dwheeler4jesus)
Diarrhea..uh uh
Diarrhea..uh uh
Set on the pot
And give it all you got!
Diarrhea..uh uh
Diarrhea..uh uh
People think its funny,
But it is really hot and runny!!
Diarrhea..uh uh
Diarrhea..uh uh
Dia-uh-uh!
Dia-uh-uh!
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 22/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
Going to first,
Pants about to burst,
Dia-uh-uh!
Dia-uh-uh!
Going to second,
Can't wait another second,
Dia-uh-uh!
Dia-uh-uh!
Going to third,
Laying little turds,
Dia-uh-uh!
Dia-uh-uh!
Going to home,
Pants are full of foam,
Dia-uh-uh!
Dia-uh-uh!
(contributed by Dan)
(contributed by anonymous)
(contributed by Julia1G)
(contributed by DbandKaiko)
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
(contributed by BACC4MORE)
When you are sitting in the bath and you hear a big ol' splash..
Diarrhea cha cha cha!
Diarrhea cha cha cha!
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're taking a dump
And you look like Forest Gump,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're riding in your Chevy (or) When you're sittin' in your Chevy (alternate line contributed by Shag5855)
And you feel something heavy, (or) Your pants are gettin' heavy (alternate line contributed by Abs0lutelynot)
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're standing by the wall
And you feel something fall,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're sitting in your chair
And you feel something tear,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you're working out
And you hear your ass shout,
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
After you eat Chinese
And you hear your ass say, PLEASE!
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When you eat a Big Mac
And you feel something crack
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
When your ass is very hairy
And you feel a dinkleberry,
DIARRHEA! DIARRHEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Diarrhea, diarrhea!
When you're watchin' TV
And it feels like a pee
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 24/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
Diarrhea, diarrhea!
When you're sliding into 3rd
And you feel a squishy turd
Diarrhea, diarrhea!
Diarrhea! Diarrhea!
Diarrhea!
Diarrhea!
You can tell
By the smell
That you ain't feelin' well !
Diarrhea!
Birdie, Birdie
That's Amore!
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 26/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
(from Cottage Grove, MN, 1974 - these lines are often added to the previous ones)
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 27/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
(contributed by KMD8993)
(contributed by NakedEwok)
In Days of Old
(contributed by ShiftyTrax)
In days of old
When knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented,
They left their load
Beside the road
And walked away contented.
Stranded
Here I Sit
(Submitted by Mary:)
Here I sit, broken-hearted, (or) There I sat, broken-hearted, (variant submitted by John M.)
Had to shit but only farted. (or) Tried to shit but only farted. (variant submitted by Angelfan)
(Submitted by RaiderEp:)
(Submitted by BigZ)
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 29/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
Billy Baker
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 30/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
Maybe
Me Mudder
When me prayers are poorly said, who tucks me in me little bed and spanks me 'til me ass is red, me mudder.
Who would me hair so gently part, and hug me close up to her heart, and sometimes squeeze me til me fart, me
mudder.
Who looked at me with eyebrows knit, and nearly had a king size fit, when in me Sunday pants me shit, me
mudder.
When at night the bed did squeak, me raised me head to take a peak, who yelled at me " go back to sleep", me
fadder.
I Had a Turd
Poop, Poop
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 31/32
4/4/23, 3:34 PM SmellyPoop.com - Facts on Poop
Mambo #5
1-2-3-4-5
Come on, everybody, let's poop and jive!
All da way to the poopy land
And we can play together in the poopy sand.
[Chorus]
A litlle bit of kaka in my pants,
A little bit of poop covered ants,
A little bit of kakasha all da way,
A little bit of bull shit in da hay,
A little bit of doodoo; baby. do you want some?
Hey! get the poo off my bum!!
Poop Riddles
Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He wanted to see Pooh!
What do toilet paper and and the Star Ship Enterprise have in common? They both fly around Uranus looking
for Klingons. (Submitted by Mary S.)
Why are turds tapered? So your anus won't slam shut after it comes out. (Submitted by Brian)
Why are turds always tired? Because they're pooped out! (Submitted by Cheri and Mike D.)
Poop Sayings
"I need to poop so bad I've got lumps in my throat."
"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day." - Harry S Truman, contributed by UprightCitizen1.
What you say to someone who is hard to understand: "You sound like a shit salesman with a mouthful of
samples." Contributed by Shari J. of Sacramento, CA.
Facts about Poop | Facts about Farts | Greeting Cards | Photo Gallery | Send Poop to your mean friends | Home Page
https://web.archive.org/web/20020806170949/http://www.smellypoop.com/poop.html 32/32