Junas S.

Malana 08/23/2020
CERA: Journey into the Heart of Christ

Part One: ‘Co-authoring’ with God the Narrative of Our Personal Religious Journey

Context

In the beginning, Ferdinand Santos defines religion and what does it mean by being
religious. He said that as a human being is to be a religious person, i.e., has the desire to be
complete or a whole. However, there is a distinct way of being a religious, i.e., following
God’s call wherein this wholeness can be found. In this section, we tried to understand what
the gift of a “religious” personality means in terms of discerning a call to the priesthood. In
order to do this, one should look into the origins and roots of this unique calling as well as the
manner in which it develops and evolves. The goal here is to understand and appreciate the
gift that has been given to a young man discerning a vocation to the priesthood.

In understanding these origins of a religious personality, he relates this to some

philosophical thoughts or concepts in order to clarify our understanding of the nature of
religious life. He used the Christian existentialism to describe the human person in terms of
his capacity to exist or “stand out.” This holds the idea that to be genuinely human means to
live in a way that makes one “stand out” to himself, to God and his neighbor. This also refers
to one’s potential self that God wants us to be. Therefore, to exist is to stand out towards all
of reality, to immerse oneself in existence, and to be present to everything life offers. He said
that the mysterious origins of our existence and our religious personality lie deep in the heart
of God who has created us and sustain us, even as we now, as it were, “co-author” with Him,
the evolving narrative of our own life and personality.

Moreover, according to him, the human person is never simply captive of his past
because we are capable of overcoming a great many limitations that life can impose on us. In
the process of formation, he said, either we were able to transcend or remain being
imprisoned from the past. We have the choices and it’s up to us of what decision should we
take. The moment one decides the will to exist, he shall have crossed the threshold whereby
he begins to “cut” the chains that bind him to a past that needs to be overcome. He
emphasizes that this process takes time. Santos stresses that we must embrace that in life
there are departures and homecomings. He pointed out two complementary tendencies such

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as synthesis or unification and analysis or variation. This analysis or variation refers to a
movement towards “being loosened,” towards being broken apart or deconstructed. On the
other hand, synthesis or unification refers to all the experiences, difficulties, challenges, and
novelty they’ve encountered are brought together and “woven” into a coherent and
meaningful whole for those whose lives they affect. These two represent the two basic and
inescapable poles of human existence, one is fixed while the other is flux. There is a central
thread that connects these two movements, that is our telos, our goal, and aim in life. In the
seminary formation, sometimes we tend to forget our goal, i.e., to “become like Christ.”
Remembering this purpose allows us to be mindful of our journey and keep us to our focus
on what truly matters. It helps us to be mindful also of the different areas and demands of our
life. It helps us to grow and be mature. Lastly, he pointed out that to stand before God is to be
honest of ourselves, to embrace all that we are, to be humble, and seek to be true disciples by
being true to ourselves.

Experience and Reflection

I remember when I first entered the seminary. I don’t have any idea of what is
seminary all about or even realizing what my telos is. All I know, I was now in the seminary,
I leave my family, friends, my old life and try to leave a new life. During my first year at
Xavier University, I have a lot of concerns regarding the environment, my studies, schedules
in the community, etc. I found it difficult, and really hard to adjust this newness. I was even
got interested in school activities than seminary activities. I spent more time outside than
staying inside the seminary. My attention was divided, and could not pay more attention to
the community. When I failed one of my major subjects, I was so down, depressed, and I
thought of giving up. That time, I lost my spirit.

I was given a chance to prove myself during the second semester. Since I was able to
stand up from my first downfall, again I was having difficulty, especially when I took Physics
and Statistics at the same time. Many times, I experienced headaches and being stress at that
moment. I doubted again if I can pass the subject. But my will, together with my
determination to pass the subjects allow me to overcome this other challenge. After that, I
understood that no one will help me in terms of my studies but only myself. I realized that I
needed to be serious in my studies. That was the first time, I also become a frugal person. I
realized the money that was given by our benefactors to support us and I don’t even value it

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in return. From that time, I gave more attention to my studies. However, I was not able to see
the balance between my studies and community life.

When I was introduced to the pillars of formation, I found out that I should not only
give attention in my studies and community life but also there are other three more, such as
spiritual, apostolate, and human maturity. At first, I felt I cannot do it because I cannot even
balance the two then there’s another three. I was confused about how I am going to do that.
Yet, the answer to that confusion was very simple, i.e., time management and making my
personal schedule. Through that, I was able to see the balance of the five pillars of formation.
Then, another concern arose, it lies on application. It was because there were some activities
that consumed more time and it caused some lapses. As a result, I was not able to follow
some activities that I allotted for that specific period of time. Also, my studies and other
school activities demand more time. So, what I did, I just let the things that I do not anticipate
to happen. And again, my focus was uncleared. That moment made me realize that not
everything will happen according to my plan. However, I need also to understand that just
because of one activity that demands more time then it will also affect my daily schedule.
Through that, it became clear to me that I need to be consistent with my actions.

The most unforgettable moment during my aspirancy years was when I shared with
Father Khoa some of my worries, my helpless moments, and not doing my best in the
seminary or the community. He told me to remember who am I and he even asked me about
who was God for me. That was the moment that I began to reflect about myself and God.
Who am I? I always thought that I was a seminarian who desired to become a priest. Who is
God? I always answered that He was the Creator, Savior, Eternal, loving, etc. Yet, Father
Khoa was not satisfied with my answer. It takes time to fully understand the question about
who am I. Before I enter the seminary, I was called. The moment I enter the seminary, I meet
different people and personality, I live in a community, I need to finish my degree in
Philosophy, etc. But that does not define who am I. I was a person who aims to follow Christ
and be like Him. Who truly am, tells me that I am now in the process of becoming. I need to
prepare myself, i.e., growing in human maturity, deepening my spiritual life, giving value to
my apostolate, the eagerness of learning and knowing, and belongingness in the community. I
need to embrace all the challenges in this journey, in order to attain my telos, i.e., to become
like Christ.

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Action

In order to live like a Christ, I will fully submit myself in the process of formation. I
will abide by the rules, I will live my personal plan of life, and I will do what the
congregation is expected of me. To do that, I need to have only one focus, that is my aim or
goal. I always put in my mind that I need to go beyond what am I right now, I need to be
myself and be courageous enough to overcome the upcoming challenges that are waiting for
me out there. Therefore, I need to be truthful and genuine to my vocation.

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