The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

3 Sentence Summary
“Leadership is communicating others’ worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.”
Stephen Covey’s timeless book on how to live a life rooted in principles will challenge you to think and act in service
of others. More than just a guide on how to be effective, this book will become an instant companion for personal
reflection in any stage of life.

5 Key Takeaways
1. It’s possible to disagree and both be right. Everybody views the world through their own unique paradigm.
2. Be proactive. Between stimulus and response, we have the ability to choose.
3. Private victories precede public victories. Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good
relationships with others.
4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This requires learning how to listen.
5. Effective living requires a balance between producing results and maintaining production capacity (the
golden egg and the goose).

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Summary

Table of Contents

1. Inside-Out
2. The Seven Habits – An Overview
3. Habit #1. Be Proactive
4. Habit #2. Begin With The End In Mind
5. Habit #3. Put First Things First
6. Paradigms of Interdependence
7. Habit #4. Think Win/Win
8. Habit #5. Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood
9. Habit #6. Synergize
10. Habit #7. Sharpen The Saw

Inside-Out
WHAT DO YOU SEE? A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN WITH A NECKLACE? OR, AN OLD WOMAN WITH A BIG NOSE AND A SHAWL? P. 25

 Conditioning affects our perceptions, or paradigms.

 Paradigms are the source of our attitudes and behaviors.
 We like to believe that we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this
is not true. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are – or, as we are
conditioned to see it.
 Sincere, clearheaded people see things differently, each looking through the
unique lens of experience.
 The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions,
and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience, the
more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test
them against reality, listen to others and be open to their perceptions,
thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view.
 Our paradigms, correct or incorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our
relationships with others.

Principle-Centered Paradigm
 There exist principles that govern human effectiveness.
  Principles are deep, fundamental truths that have universal application.
 Principles are not values. A gang of thieves can share values, but they are in violation of fundamental
principles.
 Principles are the territory. Values are maps.
 When we value correct principles, we have truth – a knowledge of things as they are.
 Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value.

Be The Change You Want To See

 If you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy.
 If you want to have a more pleasant, cooperative teenager, be  a more understanding, empathetic,
consistent, loving parent.
 If you want to have trust, be  more trustworthy.
 Private victories precede public victories.

The Seven Habits – An Overview

Habits
 Our character is a composite of our habits.
o Sow a thought, reap an action
o Sow an action, reap a habit
o Sow a habit, reap a character
o Sow a character, reap a destiny
 A habit is the intersection of knowledge, skill,
and desire.

The Maturity Continuum

1. Dependence: The paradigm of you. You take
care of me. I blame you for the results.
2. Independence: The paradigm of I. I can do it.
I’m responsible. I am self-reliant.
3. Interdependence: The paradigm of we. We can
do it. We can cooperate. We can accomplish
something greater together.

Effectiveness Defined
 Effectiveness lies in the balance of producing the desired results and maintaining production capability (P/PC
balance).
 Effectiveness is balancing the golden egg (production) with the health and welfare of the goose (production
capability).
 It balances short-term with long-term.
Habit #1. Be Proactive: Principles of Personal Vision

PROACTIVE MODEL
COVEY, S. (1989) THE 7
HABITS OF HIGHLY
EFFECTIVE PEOPLE. NEW
YORK: SIMON AND
SCHUSTER. P. 71

 Between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose.

 Proactivity means that we are responsible for our own lives.
 Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.
 We can subordinate feelings to values.
 We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.
 Reactive people are often affected by their physical and social environment.
 Until a person can say “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot
say, “I choose otherwise.”
 It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.
 Things may hurt us physically or emotionally, but they do not need to damage our character or integrity.
 It is not what others do or even our own mistakes that hurt us the most; it is our response to those things.

Taking Initiative
 Initiative means recognizing our responsibility to make things happen.
 The difference between people who take initiative and those who don’t is literally the difference between
night and day. +5000% difference in effectiveness.
 Act, or be acted upon.
 Combine creativity and resourcefulness to be proactive.
 Proactive is NOT pushy, aggressive or insensitive. Proactive people are smart, value driven, they read reality,
and they know what’s needed.
 If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control – myself.

Listening To Our Language

 Our language is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people.
 Reactive people use language to absolve themselves of responsibility.
 Reactive language becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
 REACTIVE LANGUAGE VS. PROACTIVE LANGUAGE. P. 78

Circle of Concern/Circle of Influence

 We can measure our degree of proactivity by examining where we focus our time and energy.
 Circle of Concern = Everything we care or worry about.
 There are many things that we cannot control in our Circle of Concern.
 The things that we can do something about reside in a smaller Circle of Influence.

OUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE IS SMALLER THAN OUR CIRCLE OF CONCERN. P. 82

 Proactive people focus their time and efforts on the Circle of Influence.

 Focus on the things that you can actually do something about.
 Positive and constructive energy causes your Circle of Influence to grow.
 By working on ourselves instead of worrying about conditions, we are able
to influence the conditions.

PROACTIVE PEOPLE FOCUS ON EXPANDING THEIR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE. P. 83

 Reactive people focus on their Circle of Concern.

 They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the
environment, and circumstances over which they have no control.
 Their negative energy, and neglect for things that they can control, causes
their Circle of Influence to shrink.
 Any time we think the problem is “out-there,” that thought is the
problem.

REACTIVE PEOPLE FOCUS ON THINGS THAT THEY CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT. THEIR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE SHRINKS AS A RESULT. P. 84

Applying Proactivity
1. Listen to your language and that of those around you. Record how often you hear reactive phrases such as
“If only,” “I can’t,” or “I have to.”
2. Identify an experience you might encounter in the near future where, based on past experience, you would
probably behave reactively. Review the situation in the context of your Circle of Influence. How could you
respond proactively?
3. Select a problem from your work or personal life that is frustrating to you. Determine whether it is a direct,
indirect, or no control problem. Identify the first step you can take in your Circle of Influence to solve it and
then take that step.
4. Try the above suggestions for 30 days. Then note the change in your Circle of Influence.
Habit #2. Begin With the End In Mind: Principles of Personal Leadership
 Begin today with the image, picture, or paradigm of the end of your life as your frame of reference or the
criterion by which everything else is examined.
 By keeping that end clearly in mind, you can make certain that whatever you do on any particular day does
not violate the criteria you have defined as supremely important.
 To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination.
 We may be very busy, and we may be very efficient, but we will only be truly effective when we begin with
the end in mind.
 All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation.
 Almost all world-class athletes and other peak performers are visualizers. They see it; they feel it; they
experience it before they actually do it.

Management Vs. Leadership

 Management focuses on the bottom-line results.
 Management is concerned with how best to accomplish certain things.
 Leadership deals with the top line.
 Leadership is concerned with determining the things we should accomplish.
 Leadership must come first if we want to be effective.
 Often parents get trapped in the management paradigm, thinking of control, efficiency, and rules instead of
direction, purpose, and family feeling.
 We need to have leadership in our personal lives – clarifying our values – before we worry about managing
efficiency – like setting and achieving goals.

A Personal Mission Statement

 A personal mission statement focuses on what you want to be (character) and to do (contributions and
achievements) and on the values or principles upon which being and doing are based.
 At the center of our mission statement is our lens through which we see the world.
 Some people have alternative centers, like their spouse, their family, money, work, possessions, pleasure,
friends, or self.
 The only solid center is one that is grounded on correct principles.
 By centering our lives on timeless, unchanging principles, we create a fundamental paradigm of effective
living.

Writing A Personal Mission Statement

A personal mission statement isn’t something you write overnight. It takes deep introspection, careful analysis,
thoughtful expression, and often many rewrites to produce it in its final form. Use the following tips as a way to
kickstart the process.

1. Visualize your funeral and write your eulogy.

2. Visualize your 25th and 50th wedding anniversary. Capture the essence of the family relationship you want
to have created through your day-by-day investment.
3. Visualize your retirement. What contributions and achievements will you have made in your field? What are
your plans for after retirement?
4. Identify roles and goals. Write down each area or capacity in which we have responsibility (e.g. individual,
husband, father, businessman, etc.) and the goals you have for each.

Habit #3. Put First Things First: Principles of Personal Management

 Effective management is putting first things first.
 Management is discipline, carrying it out.
 The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do.
Time Management
 Organize and execute around priorities.
 “Time management” is a misnomer. The challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves.
 Rather than focus on things  and time, focus on preserving and enhancing relationships and on
accomplishing results.

P. 151

 Urgent matters are usually visible and require our immediate attention.
 Important matters have to do with results. Important matters that are not urgent require more initiative and
proactivity.
 Quadrant I consume many people.
 Effective people stay out of Quadrants III and IV because they’re not important.
 Quadrant II is the heart of effective personal management.
 Effective people are not problem-minded; they’re opportunity-minded.

QUADRANT 1QUADRANT II

QUADRANT III QUADRANT IV COVEY, P. 152-154

What It Takes to Say “No”
 Time for Quadrant II activities must come initially from Quadrants III and IV.
 To say “Yes” to Quadrant II means saying “No” to other activities, sometimes even things that appear to be
urgent.
 The enemy of the “best” is often the “good.”
 You are always saying “No” to something.
 Most people have trouble identifying their priorities. As a result, they don’t know what they can comfortably
say “No” to.
 Without a principle center and a personal mission statement, you don’t have the necessary foundation to
stay disciplined on Quadrant II activities.

Quadrant II Organizer
A Quadrant II organizer will need to meet six important criteria:

1. Coherence: Between your mission statement, roles and goals, and priorities.
2. Balance: Across all of your roles and responsibilities.
3. Quadrant II Focus: You need a tool that encourages you to focus on Quadrant II. This is best accomplished by
organizing your life on a weekly basis. The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your
priorities.
4. A “People” Dimension: Deal with people, not just schedules. Be effective,  not just efficient.
5. Flexibility: Your planning tools should be your servant, never your master.
6. Portability: You should be able to carry it with you most of the time.

Four Key Activities

1. Identifying Roles: Write down all of your key roles for the week. For example, Individual, Husband, Father,
Product Manager, or Volunteer.
2. Select Goals: Write down two or three important results that should be accomplished in each role for the
upcoming seven days. Some of these goals should reflect Quadrant II activities. Ideally, these short-term
goals would be tied to longer-term goals you identified with your mission statement.
3. Scheduling: Block out time on your calendar to dedicate towards accomplishing each goal.
4. Daily Adapting: Take a few minutes each morning to review your schedule and apply reorganization and
prioritization as needed.

LONG-TERM ORGANIZATION P. 168

SHORT-TERM ORGANIZATION P. 168

  You can’t think efficiency with people. Be effective with people and efficient with things.
 People are more important than things. For this reason, you need spontaneity. You sometimes need to
subordinate schedules to people.

Delegation
 We accomplish all that we do through delegation.
 Delegate to time = efficiency
 Delegate to people = effectiveness
 Effectively delegating to others is perhaps the single most powerful high-leverage activity there is.
 A manager achieves much higher leverage than an individual producer through effective delegation.
 Gofer delegation = Do this and tell me when it’s done. Focuses on micro-managing how it’s done. This is
ineffective.
 Stewardship delegation = Focused on results instead of methods. Let the other person choose their method,
but gives them ownership over the results. Much more effective.

5 AREAS OF EXPECTATIONS
1. Desired Results: Create a clear, mutual understanding of what needs to be accomplished, focusing
on what, not how; results, not methods.
2. Guidelines: Identify the parameters within which the individual should operate. As few as possible, but
include any formidable restrictions.
3. Resources: Identify the human, financial, technical, or organizational resources the person can use to
accomplish the desired result.
4. Accountability: Set up the standards of performance that will be used in evaluating the results and the
specific times when reporting and evaluation will take place.
5. Consequences: Specify what will happen, both good and bad, as a result of the evaluation.

Paradigms of Interdependence
 Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others.
 You need to invest more than you withdraw from the “Emotional Bank Account” to have productive
relationships. This is even more important with people you interact with more frequently than others.

Six Major Deposits

1. Understand the Individual: You need to understand what constitutes a “deposit” to the other person. What
are their interests and priorities?
2. Attend to the Little Things: Little kindnesses and courtesies are so important. In relationships, the big things
are the little things.
3. Keep Commitments: Cultivate the habit of always keeping the promises you make. Doing so builds bridges of
trust.
4. Clarify Expectations: The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous
expectations around roles and goals.
5. Show Personal Integrity: Integrity is conforming reality to our words – in other words, keeping promises and
fulfilling expectations. Be loyal to those not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present.
6. Apologize Sincerely When You Make A Withdrawal: Sincere apologies make deposits; repeated apologies
interpreted as insincere make withdrawals.
Habit #4. Think Win/Win: Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
 Anything less than Win/Win in an interdependent reality is a poor second best that will have an impact in
the long-term relationship.
 If you can’t reach a true Win/Win, you’re very often better off to go for No Deal.

Character
1. Integrity: Built using Habits 1, 2, and 3. We need integrity to know what constitutes a Win.
2. Maturity: The balance between courage and consideration.
3. Abundance Mentality: There is plenty out there for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of
recognition, of profits, of decision making.

WIN/WIN REQUIRES HIGH COURAGE AND HIGH CONSIDERATION. P.

218

Relationships
 Focus on your Circle of Influence and make deposits into the Emotional Bank Account through genuine
courtesy, respect, and appreciation.
 An agreement means very little in letter without the character and relationship base to sustain it in spirit.
 Investing in the relationship makes Win/Win possible.

Agreements
 Partnership agreements shift the paradigm from positioning to being partners in success.
 Five explicit elements:
1. Desired results (not methods)
2. Guidelines
3. Resources
4. Accountability
5. Consequences
 It is much more ennobling to the human spirit to let people judge themselves than to judge them.

Systems
 You cannot talk Win/Win but reward Win/Lose in your organization.
 The reward system must align with Win/Win goals and values.
 Cooperation in the workplace is as important to free enterprise as competition in the marketplace.
 The spirit of Win/Win cannot survive in an environment of competition and contests.
 The training system, the planning system, the communication system, the budgeting system, the information
system, the compensation system – all have to be based on the principle of Win/Win.
 So often the problem is in the system, not in the people.
Processes
1. See the problem from the other point of view. Really seek to understand and to give expression to the needs
and concerns of the other party as well as or better than they can themselves.
2. Identify the key issues and concerns (not positions) involved.
3. Determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution.
4. Identify possible new options to achieve those results.

Why Win-Win?
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you’re nice or you’re tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a
balancing act between courage and consideration.

There are three vital character traits that are essential to this paradigm:

 Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments.

 Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others.
 Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone.

Habit #5. Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood: Principles of

Empathic Communication
 How often do we diagnose before we prescribe in communication?
 Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective interpersonal
communication.
 Communication is the most important skill in life.
 The key is to genuinely seek the welfare of the individual, to listen with empathy, to let the person get to the
problem and the solution at his own pace and time.
 It isn’t even always necessary to talk in order to empathize.
 These listening skills will not be effective unless they come from a sincere desire to understand.

Empathic Listening
 Listen with the intent to understand, not with the intent to reply.
 We all just want to be understood.
 10% of our communication is represented by the words we say, 30% by our sounds, and 60% by our body
language.
 Empathic listening is listening with more than just your ears, but your eyes and your heart as well.
 Empathic listening is so powerful because it gives you accurate data to work with.
 Satisfied needs do not motivate. Only unsatisfied needs motivate. Apart from physical survival, the greatest
human need is psychological survival – to be understood and affirmed.
 Empathic listening is risky. In order to have influence, you have to be influenced.

Four Stages of Empathic Listening

1. Mimic Content: This is the skill taught in “active” or “reflective” listening. It’s the least effective, but a good
start to train yourself to actually listen to what is being said.
2. Rephrase the Content: This is only slightly more effective. But it trains you to not only listen, but start to
synthesize what they’re trying to say.
3. Reflect Feeling: Not paying as much attention to what’s being said as to the way they feel about what they’re
saying.
 4. Rephrase the Content AND Reflect the Feeling: As you authentically seek to understand, you give the other
person psychological air.

Be Understood
 Win/Win requires consideration (listening) and courage (being understood).
 Use ethos (integrity/competency), pathos (feelings), and logos (logic), in that order, to create compelling
presentations.
 You cannot go straight to the logical side of your argument without first addressing pathos and ethos.
 An effective presentation empathizes with the audience. You need to first get inside their head and describe
the alternative he is in favor of better than he can himself.
 When you can present your own ideas clearly, specifically, visually, and most important, contextually – in
the context of a deep understanding of their paradigms and concerns – you significantly increase the
credibility of your ideas.

Habit #6. Synergize: Principles of Creative Cooperation

 Synergy is the essence of principle-centered leadership.
 Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

P. 270
 The very strength of the relationship is in having another point of view.
 Sameness is not oneness; uniformity is not unity. Unity, or oneness, is complementariness, not sameness.
Sameness is uncreative… and boring.
 The essence of synergy is to value the differences. The mental, emotional, and psychological differences between
people.
 The key to valuing those differences is to realize that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are.
 The person who is truly effective has the humility and reverence to recognize his own perceptual limitations
and to appreciate the rich resources available through interaction with the hearts and minds of other human
beings.
 Unless we value the differences in our perceptions, unless we value each other and give credence to the
possibility that we’re both right, that life is not always a dichotomous either/or, that there are almost always
third alternatives, we will never be able to transcend the limits of that conditioning.
 Synergy works. It is the crowning achievement of all the previous habits. It is teamwork, team building, the
development of unity and creativity with other human beings.
 When someone disagrees with you, you can say, “Good! You see it differently.” You don’t have to agree with
them; you can simply affirm them. And you can seek to understand.

Habit #7. Sharpen The Saw: Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal

 THE FOUR DIMENSIONS OF PERSONAL RENEWAL P. 288

 Habit 7 is personal PC. It’s preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have – you.
 “Sharpen the saw” basically means exercising all four dimensions of our nature, regularly and consistently in
wise and balanced ways.
 To neglect any one area negatively impacts the rest.
 We must be proactive about it. Sharpening the saw is a Quadrant II activity.
 This is true for organizations just as much as it is for individuals. You need balance across economics, talent
development, human relations, and purpose.

The Physical Dimension

 Eating the right kinds of foods, getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercising on a regular basis.
 Most of us think we don’t have enough time to exercise. What a distorted paradigm! We don’t have time not to.
 A good exercise program is one that you can do in your own home and one that will build your body in three
areas: endurance, flexibility, and strength.

The Spiritual Dimension

 Renewing the spiritual dimension provides leadership to your life. It’s highly related to Habit #2.
 When we take time to draw on the leadership center of our lives, what life is ultimately all about, it spreads
like an umbrella over everything else.
 If you settle the issues that inwardly conflict, if you know what you’re about, then you’ll find that public
victories will flow naturally.

The Mental Dimension

 Many of us let our minds atrophy after our formal education. We don’t do any serious reading, we don’t
explore new subjects in real depth, we don’t write in a way that expresses ourselves in distilled, clear, and
concise language. Instead, we spend time watching TV.
 It is extremely valuable to train the mind to stand apart and examine its own program.
 There’s no better way to inform and expand your mind on a regular basis than to get into the habit of
reading good literature.
 You can get into the best minds that are now or that have ever been in the world.
 Writing is another way to sharpen the mental saw. It affects our ability to think clearly, to reason accurately,
and to be understood effectively.
 Organizing and planning represent other forms of mental renewal associated with Habits 2 and 3.

The Social/Emotional Dimension

 A life of integrity is the most fundamental source of personal worth.
 Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way.
 There is intrinsic security that comes from service, from helping other people in a meaningful way.
 There is intrinsic security that comes as a result of effective interdependent living. In knowing that Win/Win
solutions do exist.
Prompt 2: In the book, we learn that “Character” is the foundation of “Win/Win.” Of the three-character traits
(integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality) essential to “Win/Win” paradigm, which one have you struggled with
or excelled with?

I consider the abundance mentality one trait that has been easier for me to handle and use, especially in my work
relationships. For example, I always have been willing to teach and support new work team members, not just train
them but also share my tools, materials, and strategies. It makes me happy to see their progress and achievements.
However, maturity is an aspect that I still need to develop and implement. Finding that necessary balance between
being kind and brave is hard for me.

On several occasions, I have noticed that when you are too nice, some people want to take advantage of it or put
you down for it. Unfortunately,  it has happened to me a couple of times at work. On the other hand, being brave
and expressing my ideas adequately is an art that I must improve because I don't want to offend anyone, but I also
don't want my rights not to be respected.

In the family environment, developing a win-win habit is vital. As a mother of young children, focusing on finding
win-win solutions helps my children feel respected and valued. They can feel that we are a good team, which is
essential to maintain harmony at home and a sense of unity. Win-win habit means agreements or solutions are
mutually beneficial and satisfying. It is not an easy task; it will require a lot of patience and creativity. But as Dr.
Covey states, “In the long run, if it isn’t a win for both of us, we both lose. That’s why win-win is the only real
alternative in interdependent realities.”

Prompt 1: Take some time and reflect on what you remember most about the book and something you wish to
share with someone else (coworker, friend, loved one or child).

I think that the whole book is so wonderful and the principles and habits that Dr. Covey shares are highly important
in order to solving personal and professional problems based on sound and ethical principles. However, habit 6
about Synergize is the habit that stood out for me. Right now I am not working in any company or business, but I do
work on the most important organization, my family. So, when I read that synergize is the habit of creative
cooperation, I immediately connected it with my relationship with my husband. Marriage can become a genuinely
synergistic relationship, creating a combined entity that is more capable, more joyful, and more efficient than either
on its own.

Also, synergy is connected to what the prophets exhort us in The Family: A Proclamation to the World; the sixth
paragraph says “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their
children.” On the seventh paragraph says “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on
principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational
activities.” When we love and care for each other we work as a team, with cooperation, unity, and charity. Together,
as a team, we can produce far better results than we could individually.

Reply:

 to effective interpersonal communication.

Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood is crucial in order to develop effective interpersonal
communication in all the fields of life. I also believe similar to you about how different and better this world would
be if we all desire to see things from others’ points of view, to see their reasons, and feel what they feel without
judging a person or situation. When we seek to understand others first, we can avoid saying things that on reflection
we shouldn’t have; this good communication would avoid arguments, fights, and even wars.

The book The 7 habit of Highly Effective People teach as how to take initiative, how to balance key priorities,
improve interpersonal communication, leverage creative collaboration and apply principles for achieving a balanced
life.