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Emma Keefe

Mr.Smith

Junior English

October 5th, 2022

American Dream Essay

Come to America we have perfect houses, perfect jobs and perfect lives, however see how long it

takes to achieve the word “ perfect” in all your aspects in life. The “American Dream” was

essentially created in 1776. America today has changed over the span of 246 years, see how

accessible it is today. The American Dream is inherently difficult to achieve for many people

because of low paying jobs while providing for large families and also the discrimination of

minorities.

Both Firefighter Works 3 jobs to support his family broadcasted by ABC News and

House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros reveal how both poems are about financial struggle

in living in America. A News video that was broadcasted was about the struggles of financial

income in the 21st century reportedly exclaims, “Chris Smith works as a firefighter and as a

paramedic in two different towns to support his wife and their children” (ABC News). As a Front

line worker, Chris doesn't make enough to meet ends meet. Being a firefighter is a full time job,

they risk their lives day on and day out for communities however this job wasn't enough to

support chris family. Chris after working 18 hour shifts then goes to a besiding town to be an on

the clock EMT. Similar to this, The house on Mango Street demonstrates a family's financial

struggle to care for their 4 kids. Cisneros remarks, “There are stairs in our house, but they're

ordinary hallway stairs, and the house has only one washroom. Everybody has to share a

bedroom—Mama and Papa, Carlos and Kiki, me and Nenny” (Cisneros). This family wasn't
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the only family fighting to keep their heads above the water. This family wasn't the only family

sharing a one bedroom apart for a family of six. Keeping financial stability in America is a very

difficult task, no matter what area you are in. With inflation hitting harder and harder every day it

makes it almost impossible to spend what was used to spend on everyday products. Financial

inconveniences is a common problem in the U.S, throughout the decades the financial structure

in classes is growing more rapidly than predicted. No matter the city or town you live in there

will always be a family around the corner fighting to make ends meet, in order to be able to turn

the heat on at night.

Both the poem America in 4 minutes by Bredan Welligton and the Excerpt Op:Ed John

Cho by John Cho explore the topic of highs and lows of the race in America. Wellington talks

about this in his poem and states, “This is the home of the brave, home of the wealthy, rich home

of the paid. It is also home of the homeless, the hurt and the deceived” (Wellington).Wellington

styates in his poem that there are the deceived in America, referring to the colored and the

minorities that here; They are the ones who struggle constantly because of being misjudged

which is always dragging them back down just when they start to rise up. The other side is

people looking in, the ones who drive to live the fairytale life. They know they will always be the

ones looking in, never the ones living in the Glass room, these are the white, happy families that

live a perfect life with no discrimination in their life. Similar to Wellington, John Cho is an

Asian-American himself; he describes the contrast between the optimistic and pessimistic

outlooks on the country today. Cho mentions, “In some ways, I began to lead a life devoid of

race. But I’ve learned that a moment always comes along to remind you that your race defines

you above all else” (Cho). Cho is speaking his experience to the world of how became an actor

and this game almost brought kindness out of people towards himself. However he never felt that
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he would get the same kindness that he really desired. Cho is faced with racial differences with

the community around him. Like iI said above, Cho is the perfect example of an immihgrant who

is finally on their way up and who gets shot back down by the reminder of their race from the

racist thoughts in our country.

Wellington is describing snips of those environments a lot of people face each day being

a citizen in America. America has two sides, the glamorous and perfect side, and the diminished

and dissolved side. Both Excerpts that were referenced expressed both sides to the most bare

truth. The American dream was not made to be easily “accessible”, financially it was merely

reachable for the middle class, and even to be able to drive to have the life if you were not

“white” in America it will make this dream even harder to come to life. America is not perfect,

yes there was an ideal or perfect image built for around the world that we are “Home of the free

& brave” and we quite are, however no one dives beneath the surface to crack open what it takes

to live in america comfortably and happy.

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Work Cited:

Cisneros, Sandra. The House on Mango Street. 2nd Vintage Contemporaries ed., 25th

anniversary ed, Vintage Contemporaries, 2009.

Cho, John. “Coronavirus Reminds Asian Americans Belonging Is Conditional.” Los Angeles

Times, 22 Apr. 2020,

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2020-04-22/asian-american-discrimination-john-c

ho-coronavirus.

“Pennsylvania Firefighter Works Three Jobs to Support His Family: Part 1.” ABC News,

directed by A. B. C. News, ABC,

https://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/pennsylvania-firefighter-works-jobs-support-family-

part-44772397. Accessed 28 Sept. 2022.

Wellington, Branden. “America in 4 Minutes.” Have My Thoughts,

http://brandenwellington.blogspot.com/2012/11/1st-video-poem.html. Accessed 3 Oct.

2022.
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American Dream Essay Rubric

Skill Advanced Proficient Foundational Not

Yet
Thesis establishes a Appears in first Identifies a topic
complex claim paragraph

Thesis establishes a
topic and a claim

Thesis Comments:

Includes specific, Includes multiple pieces Includes two or

meaningful, and of evidence (from 4 fewer sources
well-chosen evidence sources) that clearly
that relates to the relate to the thesis Some evidence
thesis relates to the thesis
Includes multiple pieces
of evidence in each body
Evidence paragraph

Comments:

Explains well-selected Explains how evidence Summarizes

points of comparison supports topic sentence sources
among sources and of individual paragraphs
evidence and their
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connection to the Explains how evidence

Analysis thesis supports the thesis of
the essay

Comments:

Clearly explains Explains how the Little connection

relationships among texts/sources are between texts;
texts (how they related, though points difficult for the
confirm or challenge could be more selective reader to see how
each other, build on or better developed the texts are
each other, provide related
Synthesis differing perspectives, Includes multiple
etc.) sources in each body
paragraph

Comments:

No errors in MLA format Heading is correctly Some elements

formatted missing or some
errors in MLA
Pages are numbered format

In-text citations are

correctly formatted

Works Cited format:

hanging indent,
MLA Format double-spaced,
alphabetized, starts on a
new page

Works Cited: each source

entry is in correct MLA
format
Comments:

All quotes are correctly Most quotes are correctly Shows evidence of
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integrated integrated basic proofreading

Shows evidence of Follows essay

Conventions careful proofreading organization

Shows evidence of
proofreading

Comments:

Emma,
I have some revisions for you to consider:
● Review & correct MLA (quote integrations, in text citations, title formatting, etc)
● Review and correct sentence fragments (reading your essay aloud may help with this)
● Use more precise language
○ “Wellington is describing snips of those environments a lot of people face each

day being a citizen in America.” Wellington describes the racial differences that

influence a person's chance of success.

● Keeping tense consistent (in ELA, we use present tense).

○ “Cho was talking about” → Cho talks about

● Review the purpose of synthesis, and how to properly connect ideas together, and then

connect them back to your thesis statement

These are just some of the revisions you can make to enhance this essay. I suggest that you come

talk with me during Clipper Block, or after school, so we can look at some of the ways to

improve your writing.

Grade: C-