AN UNTOLD LOVE FOR MY WEAKNESS.

"I will always love you". The one I loved knows that I cared about him. When
someone dies, your love for them does not die, they will live in your heart. Death
is a part of our life and no one can change our future, we must accept the fact
that every people in this world will experience death. We might encounter
sorrows and grief but it's just only a challenge for us who loved them very much.
When someone near you dies, you will probably feel overwhelmed by sadness.
Grief affects everyone differently, depending on their coping style. Healing occurs
gradually and at various stages throughout the entire process of sorrow.

I, as a Lolo's girl, experienced traumatic circumstances in my life. I was in 7th

grade at that time in Aringay National High School and I'm in the middle of an
examination when my teacher calls me to her table and talked privately, she tells
that my grandfather died. At first, I did not believe her because after I go to school
my grandfather is strong enough, he even smiled at me and talked to me telling
me that I must care for myself at my school because he knows that I'm too close
with any disasters. After my adviser tells me that news, I stopped my exam and I
asked permission to go to the comfort room to cry all my tears. I ran away with
tears in my eyes, trembling with fear, nervousness, and sadness. I can't accept the
fact that my grandfather died at that time because he was strong enough to fight
his illness but sad to know he gave up his life. After I cry, I asked my teacher if I
can postpone my exams, happy to say she approved. I go home super fast
because I want to see my grandfather without the coffin. As I go home, I entered
our house with a big smile just to make sure that he'll not worry about me even
he was deceased. I came to his bed to hold and hug him very tight, it might be so
overreacting but we can't change the fact that we can do anything for our loved
ones. I hugged him very tight for the last time until the ambulance got him and he
put him in the morgue. After an hour my grandfather came back with his coffin
and his family is crying out loud in my grandfather's house. We mourned in hurt,
we cry so loudly but death also helped my grandfather not to experience more
aches in his life. After 7 days of his mourning, we placed him in the Aringay
graveyard. It took a month for me to move on to that traumatic event. It also
affects my study which causes a rank down, my rating in the school came down.
From 96 it turns out 84. It might cause me a disadvantage but the truth is that my
grandfather's resting peacefully with no worries is great also. The death of
someone you love is a lesson. The only regret in my life is that I can't show my
love for him, I can't show my care for him, I can't even say "I love you" towards
him but God knows how I loved him so much. I might be a stubborn child but I
was too soft when I'm with him, my weakness is him until now I still loved him
and I want to see him even in dreams only. I still feel the last hug I hugged him,
the first time he carry me, the smiles he has, and the angelic face he has. I loved
him a hundred percent and I'm happy for him that he was with the Almighty Lord
now.

Years have passed and I totally moved on but I'm still missing him. I didn't show
my love for him when he was alive and now that I can't see him I am regretting it.
I promised that after years I will find a partner that will love me, care, and protect
me like how my grandfather did to me.