Michael K.

Schwartz

OGL 482: Organizational Leadership Pro-Seminar II

Module 2: Personal Narrative Assignment

Professor Kenneth J. Willmott

March 26, 2023

 As we learned in the Back to the Future movies, what happens in our past has a direct

effect on our future. Throughout this paper, we will go back in time and review different

moments in my life that helped frame who I am today. These moments will take us on a wild

rollercoaster of emotions including feelings of happiness, pride, joy, fear, sadness, and sorrow.

Whether the story or moment involves feelings of joy or sadness, I was able to learn from the

situation and become a better person for it. This journey is 45 years in the making and has some

plot twists that you might not be expecting. So please, clear your schedule, grab a drink, and join

me as we time travel into my past.

The first destination on our journey through the Schwartzverse will take us to a small

desert town named Lucerne Valley, which is located in California’s high desert region. For this

stop, we will be looking at my childhood and some of the important moments that helped shape

my work ethic, how I parent, my leadership/followership skills, and my love for baseball. We

will bounce around from the age of six all the way to sixteen, which falls between the years 1983

to 1993. If I was younger and had fewer significant life experiences, this stop could have been

broken down into many more sections. But, because I’m old now and not the age of a typical

college student, I must lump a few of these important stops together.

Let’s start this period in time with how my parents shaped my view of what hard work

looks like. To start, I want everyone to understand that my mom, Loretta M. Quinn-Schwartz,

was a badass! When we were young, she drove two hours both ways to her job as a Pasadena

Police Officer. She could have found something closer, but she wanted to finish where she
started because she was one of the first of three female police officers in the department. Prior to

the four of us kids being around and when she still lived in the Pasadena area, she worked three

jobs while attending junior college. Why work so much? Because she was the oldest of eight

kids and wanted to help her parents as much as she could. After retiring from the police force,

she became a full-time stay-at-home mom dedicated to her family. In her new role, she made all

of our meals, did all of our laundry, brought us all to our games or events, and did all the other

things moms do for their families.

My dad was an interesting guy and never really seemed settled with what he did for a

living. He was always trying to find a better job or opportunity to make money for our family.

Nothing ever seemed to really take off, but that never stopped him from trying. Some of his

exploits included building a worm farm, a job as a private investigator, opening an electronics

store, and buying into a business that placed smaller phone booth phones inside of businesses

just as cell became more accessible. The most successful time in his professional journey came

as a manager of a rent-to-own furniture store. Once that ended, he sold cars, built above-ground

swimming pools, and whatever else he could find to make sure that some money was coming in

for the family. Long stints of unemployment were never an option for him. He always preached

that you must work hard for what you want in life, there is no easy path.

As you can see, my parents had a strong work ethic and did what they did for their

family. My mom showed us that you can have a career and see something all the way through till

retirement, such as I am currently doing with the Navy. My dad showed us that you never have

to settle and don’t be afraid to take chances even though they might not work out for you. I’m

not sure how much my mom loved that at the time, but I was glad to be able to learn that lesson.

With the value of hard work displayed by both of them, I started my work journey at a young
age. At the age of fourteen, my dad hired me to wash his business's windows twice a month and

would give us extra money to help build some of the furniture to be put on display. He pushed

me to ask all of the businesses in the strip mall to see if they needed a window washer. I quickly

had five more stores that I was responsible for. This helped me to better understand

responsibility and the value of hard work. At the end of this time frame, when I was 16, I started

working at Lucerne Valley Market. I consider this my first “real” job where I learned a lot about

accountability, flexibility, and humility. The lessons I learned from this period of my life are still

a relevant part of who I am today.

Now let's take a look at the role baseball played in my life during these years. From

when I can remember until I was 15 years old, my dad was always one of my little league

coaches. He loved baseball and that love of the game transferred to my brother Dennis and me

through his coaching, taking us to Angels games, and playing catch with us in the yard. He

coached us through losing seasons and championship seasons and my mom was there at almost

every single game to cheer us on. My proudest baseball moment during this period came in the

form of being selected for my first all-star team. I would not have been able to do it without my

dad's time and coaching. To this day, I remember the time I threw hard enough to make my dad

yell ouch and throw off his glove. That was how I knew that I was getting better at the game I

loved. Other foundational memories during this period involved the many times our dad took us

to Angel Stadium to watch our favorite team, even though they were not that great during those

years. Baseball taught me how to be a winner, how to be a good loser, the value of teamwork,

and the dedication which is needed to be good at something. Now if we go back to the future,

you will be able see that these life lessons resulted in me coaching my daughter's softball teams,

coaching boys juniors' baseball teams, becoming a partial season ticket holder for the Padres,
playing for numerous work softball teams, playing for an adult baseball league in London,

England, and now joining a 45 and older San Diego adult baseball league. As you can tell, my

parents helped me to find the love for a game that is fun but at the same time is full of life

lessons.

Another important part of my childhood came in the form of being the oldest child. Even

though I had no idea at the time, being the oldest of my two brothers and sister set the foundation

of my leadership adventure. Being the oldest, I set the example for everyone whether it was good

or bad. One of the examples I set and am proud of it to this day is that no matter the peer

pressure, I never did drugs. Probably because I feared my police officer mother and didn’t know

how it would affect my asthma. Ethier way, neither of my brothers ended up doing drugs. One of

the not-so-great examples a friend and I set for them was the occasional bout of shoplifting. I

learned from my friend and instead of saying no I went along with it. Even though I set a bad

example, none of us do anything like that today and that is probably because of the overall

example set by our parents. There are too many leadership lessons to discuss in relation to this

time period, but as you can see in the two stories I explored, I learned that being a leader is a

full-time job.

We cannot leave this window of my life without discussing how my family raised me.

With my mom being a police officer and a devoted catholic to my dad being an Air Force vet,

let's just say there were rules and ways we were expected to live our lives. Along with being

honest, we were taught manners and politeness at a young age. One of the biggest things that we

were expected to do at all times was, to tell the truth. I remember coming out of the bathroom

one day around the age of eight to find my larger-than-life grandfather standing there waiting on

me. He asked if I washed my hands, and I told him that I did, but he knew that I was lying. He
grabbed my hands to see if they were wet and then smacked them because I lied to him. That one

moment in time left a lasting impression on me, to tell the truth, and wash my hands after using

the bathroom. I also remember the yardsticks we had that stayed next to our refrigerator in the

kitchen. I do not know if they were ever used for anything else besides spanking our butts when

we lied or did something else to get in trouble. Contrary to today’s thinking, spanking did not

scar us for life. Instead, it showed us that there are repercussions for our actions. Being raised by

a strict catholic police officer and a vet forged how we acted as well as how we saw right and

wrong. This way of living and the lessons that came with it helped forge how I would parent my

kids in the future.

That ends our time travel back to my childhood. As you can see my parents played an

essential part in how I see the world today. It was not always a specific event, but more so the

example they set for us every day that had the largest impact on the four of us. We cannot forget

the other factors that were an important part of this window in time. Factors that helped shape

who I am today include how involved in the church we were, my friends, our economic status,

and the small town where we grew up. Enough for this period, it is time to hop back into the

Delorian and head to 1995 and stick around to 1997.

Welcome to Lucerne Valley High School, a place that will change my life forever. As a

senior in 1995, I had my first serious girlfriend. As I will explain, the choices Lesher and I made

together changed the course of our lives. Those choices then affected everything we had planned

prior to that. It even paved the path that led me to the job I still have today.

As I made plans to attend the University of Nevada Las Vegas (UNLV) after graduating

high school, Lesher came into my life. These plans would never see the light of day. After dating

for most of my senior year, I decided instead to attend a local community college to be closer to
her while she completed her senior year. It was during this time that we created a little human

who would later be known as Shyla aka Kid. This was probably the most scared I have been in

my entire life. My dad had preached to us to not make the same mistakes that he did and

according to him, having a daughter at the age of 18 was a huge mistake. Needless to say, I was

afraid to tell him. The next concern would be how I tell my catholic mother that I am about to

have a child born out of wedlock. I was terrified! Then after informing my parents, my next and

greatest concern was how in the world was I going to raise a baby right out of high school. I

lived at home with my parents, worked full-time at a market, and was trying to attend college

full-time. The only thing I owned at that point in my life was a car and raising a baby takes a lot

more than a car.

Usually having a baby is a joyous occasion, but that was not our experience. It was scary,

embarrassing, and filled with a lot of feelings about what in the world was I going to do with my

life now. On top of that, my mom was beyond mad and was embarrassed to tell the rest of the

family what had happened. When she found out, she kicked a hole in my door and then made me

repair it. Both of my parents were very disappointed in me and that was hard for me to process.

Thankfully, when Shyla got here everything changed. I was no longer scared as I was before, I

was filled with love and an attitude of I will do whatever it takes for her to have the best possible

life. Don’t get me wrong, I was still scared, but it was for another reason. Shyla was born with a

condition known as gastroschisis. This meant that Shyla’s stomach wall did not form completely

so some of her intestines extended outside of her stomach. Fortunately, she would be able to

leave the hospital after three months and go on to lead a normal life.

While she was receiving treatment in the hospital, I was trying to figure out the best way

to provide for her and her mom. After talking with my dad, I decided that I would try to join the
Air Force as he did. This would give us a steady source of income, provide a house for our

family, and money for college when I got out. The Air Force wanted me to get multiple waivers

for my asthma, so we walked over to the Navy recruiters who decided to ignore it altogether. So,

it was the Navy for me. This scared me some because you never know when a war may break

out, but overall, I was filled with pride for serving my country, but more importantly, being able

to take care of my new little human.

These two life-altering situations are probably the two biggest events that have framed

my life. At that time, I feared the unknown and now I cannot imagine my life without Shyla. She

is and always will be my first real love. Even though there ended up being a lot of hurt and pain

relating to my relationship with her mom, I would do it over and over again just to have the

honor of being her father. For the Navy, it helped me to provide for my new family, but at the

same time took me away from them more than I ever imagined. I have always had a love/hate

relationship with the Navy. With that being said, it is time to hop back into our time machine and

head to 1999 through 2001.

Let me warn you, this was a very hard chapter in my life filled with pain, embarrassment,

and disappointment. Do you still want to hear about it? Okay, if you say so, we will get into it.

Fortunately for me, I would come across two of the best leaders I have ever had in the Navy.

They helped me to stay on track and do what I needed to do even though my personal life was

falling apart around me.

This window of time found me at 22-24 years old and on my first ship in the Navy, USS

Kinkaid DD-965 out of San Diego, California. At this point in time, I was getting used to the

Navy life but was also concerned for my personal life. I was preparing for my first six-month

deployment, which would be the longest time I was going to be away from my family. This was
especially hard because Shyla’s mom, who I had married the year prior, decided to leave me and

moved out of our house a couple of months before leaving. I felt like a failure for not being able

to make it work between us, even though she had previously been unfaithful. I felt helpless and

that I somehow let Shyla down. My parents had stayed married until their deaths, and even

though it was not always great between them, they still made it work. At the time, I believed that

was what I needed to do as well. It did not matter if I was happy as long as Shyla was able to

grow up with both parents. I know, I know, that’s not a good way to live but that was the

example I had, and it was against my religion to get divorced.

While on the deployment, Lesher and I started talking again and decided that we would

give it one more try when I returned home from the deployment. I had received orders to a duty

station in London, England and we were excited to leave our problems in the states and head off

on a new adventure together. To get the orders I had to reenlist in the Navy, which I never

intended on doing. That made this a big commitment and another change to my life plan. Once I

returned, it was good for a while, but a month before the three of us left for England, Lesher

decided to move out and not go to England to work on our marriage. Again, I was sad,

embarrassed, and felt that I had somehow let Shyla down. I had no choice, I had to move to

England without my family. Thankfully, Lesher and I came to an agreement to each have Shyla

for one of the two years I was in England. Shyla was able to attend a British school and had a

cute little accent because of it. Ok, that’s beside the point, just know that this time in my life was

difficult.

Besides having Shyla in England with me for a year, the other bright spot during this

period was the leadership of CTRC Patty Roebuck and CTO1 Jan Crowell. To this day, these are

two of the best leaders I have ever had in my 20-something years in the Navy. They showed me
that true leaders get to know their sailors and then led appropriately. They did not believe in a

“one size fits all” approach to leadership. They knew that I was close to my mom and used a

motherly type of approach to help get the most out of me. Patty would listen to our issues and

give me time to take care of what I needed to while preparing to leave the country and get a

divorce at the same time. One thing I will never forget with Jan is that she wanted me to work on

a ship qualification that I had no intention of completing because at that time there was a zero

percent chance of me staying in the Navy. She asked me to please do it, but I was refusing. She

let me complain about it until I was done and then told me something to the effect of “I

understand all of that, but since you don’t want to do it for yourself, will you just do it for me?”

That was the first time that I realized she just “momed” me and it worked. Of course, I

completed the qualification, and I am thankful to this day for it because I ended up staying in the

Navy.

These two leaders showed me what real leadership looks like and I am forever grateful to

them. I try to emulate the way they were and the things they did so that my sailors know that I

care about them as my mentors cared for me. As for the other part of this stop, the hurt I felt

during that time helped me to become stronger and expect better for myself. Later on, after

moving to England, Lesher asked to give us another try. This time I was able to tell her no

because I had grown to expect more from people and wasn’t going to allow myself to get hurt

again. As you can see that was a rough spot for me, but I was able to learn from it as well. Let's

now head off into the Arkansas days of my timeline.

Glenwood, Arkansas... Never heard of it? Not many people have. It is a small, wooded

town in the southwest portion of the state. This stop includes more sadness, life lessons, and just

a little bit of happiness mixed in. The choice to move to Arkansas changed my life in many ways
and I am still feeling the effects of it to this day. The Arkansas saga lasted from 2007 to 2014

which puts me in my early thirties.

The move to Arkansas happened because my girlfriend and I both decided to get out of

the Navy. At that point, I had been in for ten years, but I was tired of leaving my family on long

deployments. My girlfriend had to get out because her custody of her daughter would come into

jeopardy if she stayed in the Navy. For those reasons, we decided to get out of the Navy and find

a place to live that was inexpensive so that we could raise our kids without worrying about the

problems that come with high-stress jobs. I did join the reserves to keep working toward

retirement from the Navy. Shyla did not understand why we were moving, nor did she want to

move there. She struggled with the situation and did not like my girlfriend. I believe that she

blamed her for everything and just wanted her to go away. Shyla was used to having me to

herself, but now she had to share my time with a girlfriend and her daughter. She was jealous and

I did my best to try and let her know that I would always love her no matter who else came

along. It was difficult trying to juggle how to love everyone enough. I was not perfect, but I did

my best at the time.

Then the girlfriend and I broke up and my world was pretty much destroyed, or at least it

felt like it at the time. I had gotten out of the Navy, moved to the middle of nowhere, USA,

bought a house there for our little family, and now that was all for nothing. I felt lost, abandoned,

unable to trust anyone, and scared about what was next. Throw in my dad’s passing and this was

another difficult chapter in my life. I was unable to be there for my mom as much as I wanted to

because I had moved to Arkansas. The stress from all of this led me to a bit of a dark place where

I drank more alcohol than I should have. I did my best to put on a good face for my daughter so

that she wouldn’t see how badly I was hurting. Then the opportunity to deploy to Kuwait came
along and me a close friend both decided to take it. Even though I would be leaving Shyla again,

I had to get away and figure out my life. I thought I could go to Kuwait, save some money,

advance to the rank of Chief, and decide what the future looked like for me and Shyla.

I think I might be starting to sound like a broken record, but this was another difficult

patch in my story. One that led me to trust people less, figure out how to deal with the loss of a

parent, try to still set the example for Shyla, and figure out how to move forward past the painful

situation. After some time, I was able to move on and move forward with my life. That is it for

this sad place in my timeline, let's get back in the Delorian and set our sites for a happier time in

my life journey.

For this brief stop, we find two great career opportunities and a tough period in time with

Shyla. I was still technically living in Arkansas but was on a six-month set of orders to the

Pentagon. During my time at the Pentagon, I had the opportunity to go back onto active duty and

continue the career that I had started fifteen years prior. My only consideration was for Shyla

because that meant I was most likely going to deploy again. At this point in time, she was

finishing her junior year of high school. That meant she only had one year of high school left so I

took the chance and reenlisted on to active duty. Of course, with my luck, I was assigned to a

NATO mission that had me deployed for a year. This meant I would miss Shyla’s senior year

after already missing so much. This was hard for me, but it was the life I had chosen so I had to

make the best of it. Unfortunately, during that time, I left for the deployment and Shyla got

herself into a bad situation. I was stuck on a ship floating in the middle of the ocean and had no

real way to help. In my eyes, I think she was acting out because I had left her with her mom

again and she didn’t want to be there. That was still no excuse for what she had done and made

me question all my life choices. I asked myself if this was my fault, did I let her down, should I
have found another profession. I was so disappointed with her that I don’t believe we talked for

about two or three months. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t have the words to make the

situation better. I needed time to process things and ended up calling her on her birthday to

reestablish our connection. It took a little bit of time, but we got through it.

As for the NATO mission itself, it was amazing! I was able to visit over 20 different ports

around the world. We sailed with ships and sailors from the German, English, Turkish, Spanish,

Italian, and Greek Navies. I was able to spend ten days out to sea on a German frigate and have

lunch with the captain of a German submarine while underwater. I could fill up a few pages with

all the great places and great things we got to experience or see. It was definitely the happiest I

had ever been as a Sailor in the United States Navy. The admiral even let me fly home from

Estonia to attend Shyla’s graduation. She barely made it, but she did. I was very proud that she

was able to finish after all the moving and bouncing between houses that she had to deal with

growing up. Because I was sent on the NATO mission, I was able to choose orders back to San

Diego to be closer to my mom who was having some health issues. Sadly, please jump in the

time machine and come with me to a dark, dark place for me.

It is now 2016 and I have been able to spend some time with my mom and help her out

both financially and fix things around her house. She had some health issues, but they never

slowed her down too much. In July of 2016, she in for a procedure that she would never recover

from. The doctors botched the procedure leading her to have a breathing tube inserted. As hard

as she tried, her COPD prevented her from coming off the ventilator on her own. My mom had

always told me that she didn’t want to be kept alive on machines and the doctors tried and tried

to get her to come off of it, but she just couldn’t. So, being the oldest, I had to make the call to

take her off the ventilator for good. I gave her an extra week against her sister’s wishes, but it
was my mom, and I wasn’t ready to lose her yet. Eventually, I gave in and let the doctors take

her off the ventilator. She wasn’t able to breathe on her own and passed away soon after. It was

the hardest, most difficult, and most painful decision I ever had to make.

I wasn’t okay after this and turned to alcohol to help make the pain go away. I know it

wasn’t the answer, but I didn’t care, I just wanted my mom back. I would go up to her house and

work on it to try and feel a connection with her. Whether that was a healthy thing to do or not, it

somehow made me feel better. It was like I was still doing it for her, even though she wasn’t

there. I was single at the time and had nobody to really turn to on a constant basis. I’m sorry but

my brothers and sister suck at feelings just as I did, so talking to them didn’t help much. It

started affecting me at work and my evaluation suffered because of it. In the Navy, a poor

evaluation sticks with you for five years which is why I haven't been able to advance to the next

rank.

I don’t like this stop much so we are leaving and heading to the last five years of my life.

A time mixed with both happiness and sadness. I wish there was a period of time where I was

just talking about good and happy moments, but that just hasn’t been in the cards. This stop takes

place mostly in San Diego and starts in 2018. This period involves me getting married,

transferring to another ship, and becoming a grandparent.

After dating for a little while, my wife is the one that helped me to see that I was drinking too

much. My friends at the time were doing it, so I didn't really think too much about it. She was

able to help me see what I was doing and move past that part of my life. Our relationship only

grew from there leading me to ask for her hand in marriage. With my wife, Vicki came an

energetic little stepdaughter named Riley. I was happy, I had a little bit of a larger family again.
 During this time, Shyla asked for us to help her move to Arkansas to help an old friend

get through a hard time in her life. She said it would just be for no more than six months and then

she would move back. Sadly, she never moved back. She started dating a guy out there and has

lived there ever since. She now has two daughters with him and there are no signs of her moving

back this way anytime soon. As her dad, I had a very different vision for her life than what

actually played out for her. It does make me sad, and I am still trying to figure out how to deal

with those feelings. She doesn't want to do the job she went to school for, in my opinion, has no

solid plans for the future, and doesn’t seem to be interested in trying to move back closer to her

mom and me.

Another part of my story with Shyla that makes me sad is my relationship with her

daughters. To this date, there really isn't one. I have only held the oldest on a couple of

occasions, but outside of that, there hasn’t been much. I don’t know how to be a FaceTime

grandpa. My dad got to take Shyla to the park to play and other places. I don’t get to do that. I

haven't figured out how to have a genuine connection with them on a phone. Sure, I could call

and talk, but where is the connection? They are both still too young to have a conversation with,

so do I just talk to them as they sit there and look off in different directions because they don’t

know who I am? This is something I plan to figure out in the near future, so please wish me luck.

Thank you for coming on a ride in my time machine and visiting such important parts of

my life. There seemed to be more times of hurt and sorrow than I care to revisit. There have been

many times of happiness throughout my life, it's just that the hard times seemed to have the most

impact on me. This exercise made me feel pride as well as pain. It was interesting to revisit some

parts of my journey that I haven't paid attention to in a while. I got to see that I have been

through a lot and have become a better person because I have chosen to learn from them. This
personal narrative will be placed under the about me tab in my electronic portfolio. Again,

thanks for taking the time to read about my journey and I wish you the best in yours.