에밀리 파리에 가다 제 6화
I became a meme.
[Gabriel] Oh! Oh! -Ugh. Again?
They were at it all night.
Frenchmen never get tired of having sex.
It's like docking them in a Lightning port.
My battery's dead, and I have a huge day at
work.
-I can't believe this. -Mm, what?
Stop this shit now, asshole!
-Send voice note to Dad.
-That's how you talk to your dad? -
The Zipper King?
His third assistant will soften the tone when s
he reads it.
He's bribing me to come home.
-Again. -With what?
Oh, my God, a BMW?
And the house behind it.
-He's giving you a house? -
Yeah. Right next to my parents' place.
All I have to do is go home, join his trainee pr
ogram,
and start dressing like Angela Merkel.
And you're giving up all that to be a nanny?
-Do you really like Paris that much? -
Yes, I do.
-But also, I can never go back to China. -
Why not?
Well, first of all, there's the life my parents hav
e planned for me.
Um, marry the right guy,
live on the right street…
and also, ahem, there is this.
♪ I'm gonna swing… ♪
Oh, my God, you were on Chinese Idol?
We call it Chinese Popstar.
That's so cool.
I choked in front of billions of people.
Not millions, billions.
And when they found out who my father was,
Oh, boy.
I was so mortified, I had to get out of China A
SAP.
And so I gave up, and I came here and went t
o business school
like my dad wanted me to.
And I failed at that too.
Well, of course you did. You're a singer.
Was a singer. I had my shot, and I blew it.
No, you get more than one shot, Mindy.
In China, you only get one kid.
You need to get back out there.
Just find a stage and get your groove back.
You're so cute.
But, you know, the wonderful thing about Pari
s
is that nobody judges you for doing nothing.
It's practically an art form here.
You know what? We actually have a name for
it.
Um, they call us "flâneurs."
You're not a flâneur. You're in hiding.
And what more fabulous place to hide?
Hey.
-You said we had to wear all black. -
Mm, I said you had to.
You'll blend in perfectly at Pierre Cadault's co
uture house.
However, I have no interest in blending in.
Emily, I've been dreaming of meeting Pierre C
adault since I was 12
and stole issues of French Vogue from my m
um's beauty salon.
He's a legend.
Oh, I know, Julien. I did my homework.
I know all about his feud with Valentino,
his affair with Elton John,
and his pet iguana, Evangelista, that apparent
ly won't die.
Actually, the iguana has died five times.
They just replaced it and called it by the same
name.
-No! -Yes.
Oh! Hey, Sylvie, um…
did you see my e-mails about social strategy?
Pierre Cadault detests social media,
but his manager knows he needs it to compet
e.
If we get the account, that's something to disc
uss in the future.
So today, just observe, admire, and try to disa
ppear, hmm?
Won't be a problem. I wore all black.
That's not black. That's off-black.
Since the 1800s,
only design houses chosen by the French Fe
deration of Fashion
may refer to their work as "haute couture."
Pierre Cadault is one of them, of course.
Uh, Monsieur Cadault does not chase trends.
He's… He's an artist.
Even now, he's offered his talents to design c
ostumes
for the new ballet this week at the Paris Oper
a.
Hold my hand. Okay, let it go.
Dominique, I wish you wouldn't show the cost
umes.
They're not ready!
Oh, Pierre. Oh là là ! They are more than rea
dy.
They elevate ballet.
The team here from Savoir was just saying so
, n'est-ce pas ?
uh, I've always…
um, admired your work.
And being here,
it's just fabulous.
"Fabulous"?
You… Your… Your couture is… is a confectio
n.
I could eat your clothes!
[Dominique] Oh, Pierre! Pierre!
-[scoffs] -Wait! What happened, guys?
What does "ringarde" mean?
It means "basic."
He called you a basic bitch.
What? Because of my bag charm?
Do you think he's her son or her lover?
Oh, um, I… I was just…
watching to see if the Caesar salad is really w
orth 20 euros.
She's forceful.
Bit controlling.
Like a mother.
And now she's feeding him…
like…
a lover.
Oh, God, I hope.
Loser buys the next bottle of wine.
You're so sure you're right?
I'm a professor of semiotics. It's, uh--
-Study of symbols. -[man] Hmm.
I have a master's in communication.
Then you know it's my job to read such things

Oh, yes. Signs,

[in French] The Instagrammers. people.

[in English] Oh, no, Monsieur Cadault. Thomas.

It's the honor of my career to be here. Emily.

Of my life. So, how are we gonna know who wins this littl
e wager?
And you?
I guess we have to sit here until they reveal th
Beyond honored. emselves.
I… I mean, What are you drinking?
And then, for the rest of the day, no one woul All your books are in French.
d talk to me at work.
And good morning to you.
Well, for one thing,
And they're not my books. They came with th
it's a bit ringard to call someone ringarde. e apartment.
Right? I'm not saying I'm cool… I have a rule.
You're sitting at the coolest café in all of Paris If I go home with a girl, and she doesn't have
her own books,
At least, historically.
I cannot make love to her.
Really?
I have my own books.
This was the home of Jean-
Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. They cost too much to ship from Chicago,
Everybody in Paris flocked to see them. so I download them on my iPad.
I read Second Sex in college. Then, show me your iPad.
Most of it. Why?
But did you know that, for the longest time, So I can make love to you again
the café across the street, Les Deux Magots, with a clear conscience.
was the cool place?
Are you sure you don't wanna use my shower
Hemingway and Picasso, they used to drink t ?
here.
-I don't want to wash you off yet. -[chuckles]
And what happened?
Please tell me we'll see each other again toni
Sartre and de Beauvoir decided it was too bo ght.
urgeois,
Oh! Okay, sure.
and they fled to the Café de Flore
Who is he?
'cause it was empty, and suddenly…
A professor I met last night. I've… I've never
Café de Flore was the cool place. done anything like that.
When two things are next to each other, For all I know, he could have been a murdere
r.
we're… forced to compare them.
Hmm. I thought I heard a couple of petites mo
Café de Flore et Deux Magots.
rts, so…
Or "ringarde" and "cool."
A couple of what?
- You are not ringarde. -
Um, little death.
Wait! What?
It means "an orgasm."
Who's that third guy?
And it sounds like you died at least twice last
Now we're never gonna know who won the be night.
t.
Oh, my God, I'm petit mortified.
I don't care about the bet. I just wanted to kee
Oh, "little deaths"?
p talking to you.
Why do you call it that? It sounds so morbid.
Well…
No, it's not. It's like, um…
we could talk someplace else.
it's so intense that you die, and then you are r
Someplace cooler?
eborn as a new person.
Oh… okay.
Well, if it isn't la belle ringarde.
Yeah.
-Ugh. Could you not? -I said "belle."
[Emily] Oh, my God!
Okay, "ringarde," I cannot deny.
Look, I'm not basic.
In fact, I went home with a philosophy profess
or last night.
That's worse than basic. It's boring.
It was not boring.
He quoted Rimbaud to me, and it was hot.
The only thing my ex ever quoted was Game
of Thrones recaps.
America, it sounds like a prison.
Anyway, I guess this poetry man explains wh
y you're late for once.
No. Sylvie e-
mailed me that I didn't have to be in until 11:0
0.
-What meeting's happening in there?
- For the Fourtier account.
The watch account?
I'm leading social. Did Sylvie tell you why they
're meeting without me?
Definitely not. However, I'm feeling uncomfort
able right now,
so I'm leaving.
Is there a reason I wasn't invited to the Fourti
er meeting this morning?
Last week, you told me to prepare a deck.
Luc, can you please tell Emily
she's not leading social media for Fourtier any
more.
She's on a luxury brand quarantine.
Okay, I will tell her.
I'm right here. Is this about Pierre Cadault?
And tell her, also,
I don't need to hear her moaning around the o
ffice all day.
-She can go. -Yes, I will tell her.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Oh, well, make sure she knows what a quara
ntine is.
-Sure. -It means the same thing in English!
It was one client, and we knew Pierre Cadault
was a long shot.
[whispers] Yes, but he was Sylvie's long shot.
She's talked about signing him as long as I've
been at Savoir.
Well, do you think there's any way to see Pier
re again and explain?
And what would you say?
Go ahead. Pretend I am Pierre.
Monsieur Cadault, please allow me--
I can't believe I got demoted because of an ac
cessory.
At least you have a hot new male accessory.
How's that going? -Crazy.
-Like, three petits morts in one night. -
[Mindy] Aw!
You learned a gross new phrase.
I did.
He refused to shower afterwards
because he wanted a reminder on him.
-Is that weird? -Sexy.
Although that's probably why the metro smells
like PBO during morning rush hour.
Public BO?
Pussy BO.
Mindy! -What? Have you taken the metro?
Sorry. I get très nasty when I'm exhausted,
and thanks to you, I was up all night.
Why me?
I went down a drunk rabbit hole of googling ja
zz clubs in Paris.
I don't know. I figured that if I was going to try
the singing thing again,
I might as well do it here, where no one know
s me.
I saw that there is an open audition at Crazy
Horse.
Well, that's not so crazy.
-I'm not going. -Why not?
Because I still have Chinese Popstar PTSD.
That's… That's, like, p for "post-
traumatic," right?
Emily, yes.
Okay. Well, you just…
You need to get over it and sing.
Honestly, sometimes I don't think I'll ever sing
again.
What about for me?
Maybe-- I don't know. Not right now.
Why not right now? No one's paying attention.
-You want me to sing right now? -Yes.
-There are people. -
So? Just pick any song that you want.
I'm not gonna judge you.
-[Mindy] Hmm. -I'm not judging.
Fine, okay.
-I can't look at you. -All right.
-I'm gonna st-- Here, you take this. -Oh, okay.
[Mindy] Gonna stand far away, not look at you
-Okay, what do you want me to sing? -
I don't know. Whatever you want.
No one was paying any attention.
-Don't worry.
A gift.
Delta of Venus.
It's very sexy.
Shall we go upstairs and read it, or are you n
ot letting me in?
If we go upstairs now, we'll never make it to di
nner.
Hmm. Better to have something to look forwar
d to, anyway.
-Hey. -Oh.
-Hey, Emily. -Hi.
Oh, introduce us to your friend.
Oh, uh, this is Thomas.
Thomas, this is my friend Camille and… and
her boyfriend, Gabriel.
Yes, we've heard you. We heard… of you.
Um, Gabriel is, uh, the chef at a restaurant ac
ross the square.
Yeah, except tonight, another chef is gonna c
ook for us
at a great little tapas place in the tenth.
Yep. Oh! You should join us.
Oh, no, we wouldn't wanna crash your dinner.
Please, it would totally be fun. Please.
-I love Spanish wine. Why not? -Why not?
Yeah. Okay, great. Um… it's a double date, th
en. [chuckles]
[chuckles] Great.
Um, it's this way.
[Emily] Oh, this area is so pretty. What's it call
ed?
[Gabriel] Canal Saint-Martin.
It used to be gritty and authentic.
It is a shame how popular it's gotten.
None of the charm it had before. [clicks tongu
e]
I still like it.
Uh, it's Euro Disney compared to what it was.
Did you both grow up in the city?
-No. -Gabriel's from, um, Normandy.
I grew up on a farm in Brionne.
His whole family raised money so he could att
end cooking school here.
They are so proud of my guy.
Oh, I love that.
Well, the two of you have something in comm
on.
Neither from Paris.
-[Gabriel] Cigarette, anyone? -
[Thomas] I'd love one, thanks.
[chuckles] I'm surprised. All the chefs I know r
oll their own.
[chuckles] Well… Well, now you know one wh
o doesn't.
Gabriel, you… you picked a really great wine.
Oh, thank you. It's a small organic producer fr
om Rioja.
Gabriel knows his wine inside and out.
Except for champagne. That is Camille's spec
ialty.
Oh, only because of where I grew up.
My family has a little château in Champagne.
-It's called Domaine de Lalisse. -
Hmm. Domaine de Lalisse?
-[Camille] Mm. -
I've never heard of it. [Camille] Well, it's, um,
small.
But we don't have to talk about that. That's so
boring.
Yeah, I agree.
So dull, talking about wine. It's like conversati
on about the weather.
Far more interesting to drink it. No?
-I don't think Gabriel likes me. -
What makes you say that?
I could just tell that he's jealous that I'm with y
ou.
I don't think that's true.
[moans] Who can blame him?
We just have to try to be quieter tonight.
Sure. Whatever you say.
SWAN LAKE
COSTUME DESIGN: PIERRE CADAULT
Hey, girl!
Sorry. Won't do that again.
I have something for you. Well, two things, ac
tually.
I thought that you and I, or you and whoever,
could go to opening night of the ballet for anot
her shot at Pierre Cadault.
Don't mention his name to me ever again.
That was a box!
-[sighs] -What are you doing?
I don't know yet, but I didn't come to France t
o be demoted.
After tonight, you may be deported.
-Emily, hi. -[chuckles]
Where are you off to, so dressed up?
Oh, I… I have tickets to the ballet.
Oh, with, uh, Thomas, I presume.
-Yes. -[Gabriel] Hmm.
I see. Well… enjoy.
What is it?
I didn't say anything. Sounds like an interestin
g evening.
Do you have a problem with him?
[scoffs] I'm sorry, but I think he's a snob.
An asshole masquerading as an intellectual.
I know his type.
Maybe… Maybe you can't tell since you're not
from Paris--
You're not from Paris either.
Sorry, I…
-That's not how I meant it. -[Gabriel] Fine.
I just think you're wasting your time on a guy
who doesn't deserve you.
Emily.
You look beautiful in that dress.
But not as beautiful as you look without it.
Well, you're looking pretty handsome yourself
.
There's just one problem here.
Did you know they were performing Swan Lak
e tonight?
Is this a joke?
What?
Well, the last time I was here, it was for Bolér
o, a masterpiece.
Uh, Swan Lake is for tourists.
Or is it on the cusp of being cool again, like c
afé Deux Magots?
Hmm. Clever, trying to use my argument agai
nst me,
but evidently, you missed the point of what I
was saying.
Okay. Well, I would like to find Pierre Caudaul
t
and try to talk to him, so maybe you can endu
re it until then.
You're here to ambush Pierre Cadault? So no
w we have a bad ballet
and an awkward encounter
with an overrated designer to look forward to?
-Oh, my God, you are a snob. [scoffs] -
Uh… excuse me?
You really just don't like to like anything, do y
ou?
"Snob," the last refuge of the simpleminded.
"Simpleminded"?
Uh, simple but beautiful.
How about you go and I'll meet you afterward Without basic bitches like me, you wouldn't be
s fashionable.
and I'll treat you to some amazing sex? [sighs] I can't believe it was Dan.
I think we'd both like that better. -What? -Gossip Girl.
Thomas, since you're a professor of signs, We watched the entire series to find out…
I'm sure you won't have any trouble recognizi it's Dan.
ng this one.
This box is only for VIP guests.
That's more of a gesture.
It's fine. I don't belong here anyway.
[sighs] Do I know you?
You did go to the ballet last night, didn't you?
It's the ringarde from the marketing firm the ot
I, uh…
her day.
I just got a call from Pierre Cadault's office.
-Emily from Savoir. -
-I'm so sorry. -He wants to meet.
Excusez-
moi, mademoiselle. It's a private box. He insisted Gossip Girl be there.
I… I just came here to apologize for the other I can only assume that's you. [chuckles]
day,
-Oh. Well, that's… that's good, right? -
for offending you, and… and to let you know t [Sylvie] Mm.
hat…
I don't know how it happened. I don't want to
you're right. know.
I am a basic bitch with a bag charm. But I need you to be…
In fact, do… do you wanna know why I got th …less.
at bag charm?
How about you do you, and I'll do me?
Because my friends and I were obsessed with
Gossip Girl. And how about a one-
way ticket back to Chicago?
We all wanted to be Serena van der Woodse
-Less. Got it.
n in her gorgeous, crazy-expensive couture.
A lot less.
But the only thing we could afford from any of
those designers
was a clip-
on bag charm from a outlet mall in Winnetka.
[chuckles] So… yeah.
I guess that made us pretty ringarde.
Mm-hmm. I'm calling security.
You think ringardes don't respect designers.
We worship designers so much
that we spend all we've saved on a dumb acc
essory
just to feel like we're somehow on your runwa
y.
You may mock us…
but the truth is…
[chuckles] …you need us.