Funny Lil' Family

People think that bein’ a crim means yer totally different to the rest ah tha world. You must be
monsters, livin’ in filth, always shoutin’ an’ yellin’. But that ain’t it at all. We’re normal, just like the rest
ah ya. Just decided on a different path. But my families just like yours. A regular little family, with
Mommy, Daddy, lil' Harley and Juniors.

I mean, here I am, in the kitchen, baking a cake for my hubby. Makin’ some dinner for us all, really
yummy pie and cookies. all funny-like. Might have some ice cream for dessert, that’s in the freezer, and
a little bit of wine in the fridge, right beside ta the liquid laughing gas. Gotta keep it cold, easier to store
that way.

Like every other family, when din’s up I call my boys and gilrs to the table; Mistah J, my puddin’, calls
back ta me. “Just a minute, Pru!” He calls, and I can hear the hummin’ ah the machines stop. He walks
in, tall, pale and handsome, with Junior and Lil' Harley, our… adopted… son and daughter. Jay-Jay’s a
peach, he really is. Always gigglin’, behavin’ himself since he knows if he doesn’t he’ll get in trouble- and
none of that slap on the wrist cockamamie for our boy, and don't forget our Lil' Harley, with her peach
skin, make her look so adorable. Always smiling, and behaving herself to be our funny clown porcelain
doll, did I mention her make up too, we put clown make up and big clown nose too, after all we are
clowns right? If she doesn't, oh boy, she'll get in trouble, Mistah J will slap her butt, nothing but best
butt slap to fix our lil' harl. We only need to tell them something once. Especially after all the funny work
Mistah J did on them.

Oh, yeah, didn’t I mention? Jay and Lil'Harley used to be a real bad kids, stayin’ up all night and tryin’ to
hurt Puddin’ and me. Both of them and B-man. Y’know, between you an’ me, I always thought there was
something’ a little off about that. A grown man holdin’ onto a kids like that? Keepin’ them up all hours
ah the night? Makin’ them wear spandexs? I wear spandex, nice and clingy, don’t come off, shows off all
mah curves for Mistah J to see, and don’t get in the way when I’m out and about. But on a boy? No,
we’ve got them wearin’ a nice little outfits just like his Pa’and Ma'. Purple, with a big, cute bow-tie. And
for Lil' Harl Pink and white jester, jester cowl with bell in it, big cute pink Tutu and big clown collar, she
also wear pink cape. Now that’s what our lil’ boys and gilrs should be wearin’.

And in they come, sit down, and we all have a nice ‘n pleasant meal. And when my J tells me our Juniors
told us sometin’ real funny secret about B-man, well, they're allowed some yummy ice cream -they have
trouble eatin’ it, poor tyke. All that electro shock leaves ‘em shaky.

Then together we put Jay-Jay and Lil'Har to bed on their gurneys, reguler one like in mental hospital for
Jay-jay and pink one for her, we decorated her room by ourselves, we put Mistah J and My doll to
accompany her, gotta make her love us, am I right?, Put balloon for them with Laughing gas in it, we
don't want she lose her smile. We strapped them down tight to make sure they didn’t try to get away, or
didn’t thrash around from night terrors. Poor kids, they're with us! They're bein’ protected by the worst
terrors the night’s got.
Late that night, after watchin’ mah dear old Joker make some plans to get the bat, it’s time for bed.
And… well… y’know when I said we’re like any other family? Well every family has problems, right? And,
and they can be worked out with a lil’ love an a lil’ caring. But I’m off to bed with our juniors again
tanight. He would rather keep checkin’ his plans than play with us. The ones about old B-man.

The next night he’s gone again. Out to set a trap for Batman. Like always. He’s always out settin’ traps
for the batman.

Ya know, I read in a book that a lot of women are afraid their man’s out with someone else when they
leave the house. I don’t haveta worry about that, my man’s never shown interest or anyone… except
Batman. But! But I’m glad to know he ain’t with anotha woman, big relief, it is, so I don’t haveta be
jealous.

But I am.

I don’t know why, but I am.

Wheneva he goes out ta fight with Batman I always get jealous, but I dunno why.

Later, when everythin’s changed, everythin’s about to end and we all know it, he’s laughin’ and havin’ a
ball with us, his Lil' funny family, we fight fer our life. The bat is dead and he come to get me, with his
bat gone forever. We will have our happiness forever, just me, mista J, Jay-jay and our sweet Lil'Harley.
Maybe we will add twiins, girls sound funny, anything for our lil'funny family.

We were always there to play with him, after all we are his masterpiece, his eternal comedy properties,
and his ultimate joke.

When the bat fell… all the way down… it didn’t matter, Mistah J wouldn’t mind, he will find a new play
things, there always new toy, our beloved gotham city, old bad gordon, everything is play thing fo Mista
J, little gas and jokes and they will join us.

Also with the bat gone, he give us all his toys and house, the winner get everything right, we win fair and
square.we pay visit to B-man lives, he really crazy, he live in cave. it was gloomy and dark place, but in
the hand of our Lil Family we will make this place to be our funny home. The funniest home on earth of
course. Me with our Jay-jay and Lil' harl make over this cave and mansion, we put a lot of ballons, paint
it like circus, put a lot of toys and clown things, and play circus music all the time, not forget we put
many mista J picture and our picture in every wall, people should know who this house belong too.
nothing beat clown and circus right? We getting rid all the bat stuffs, it makes us woozy.

If you ask where is Mista J, he teach the old B-man butler, mista J use every funny methods he know to
teach the old gloomy butler to be suit with us, to know his new master and family. After private sessions
with mistah J now he is ready. he never stop smiling, mista J is kind enough to give her new style,
polkadot suit with his green hair. He ready for us give everything we needs everytime, he even kind
enough teach us how to use the lod big bad B-man toys and computer.
All the hard work is really pay off, we remade B-man gloomy mansion into our dream house, our mad
love nest, hahacienda, whatever they call it. I was worry all the ruckuss will make our neighbor angry,
but Mista J visit them and turn their frown up side down, they even give all their valuable to us with
smile if course. everytime we see them they just smile, what a happy and funny family, we really
become good such a good example for this enviroment.

Now We’re just a regular lil’ family, Mommy, Daddy, Juniors, And him. Soon Mista J will be mayor, girl
can be dreaming right.