Diocesan NFP and Respect Life Coordinator builds and strengthens the domestic church

By Laura Iunghuhn for The Catholic Moment

Growing up, we first learned the fundamental teaching of the Church – Who is God? – at home.
Our parents taught us the importance of prayer, attending Mass, and ministering to our
communities. This is why the Second Vatican Council named the family the “domestic church.”
As the domestic church, the family enters into the mystery of the Church in a unique way.
Parents, said St. Pope John Paul II, “receive the love of Christ and become a saved community,”
as all do through the Church, but also become a “saving community” when they communicate
Jesus’ love to their children. This special role enables families to breathe new life into the
Church and keep its mission at the heart of daily living.

The mission of the domestic church is beautiful; however, it’s not without its challenges. Parents
and families face daily challenges – demands on time, space, finances, and resources – and
sometimes, these take a toll on the strength of the domestic church. To ensure the “first” church
can live and teach the Gospel, John Paul II reminds us that it “needs to be constantly and
intensely evangelized.” This is the work of the diocesan Office for Family Life. Susan Hoefer,
Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Respect Life Coordinator, dedicates her time to building and
strengthening the domestic church.

Susan Hoefer grew up in Lafayette in a faith-filled home. “Day-to-day interactions with my

family and with God were part of our life,” she remembers. So, when she married and she and
her husband began to have their own kids, it was essential for them to continue this practice.

However, for them, the building of their domestic church began before they even tied the knot.
“We had the benefit of taking NFP classes when we were engaged, even though it wasn’t as
widely known as it is today,” Hoefer shares. Together, they committed to making this practice an
integral part of their marriage. “We enjoyed it so much that we felt God was calling us to
become instructors,” she says.

Fourteen years ago, three years after they began teaching couples in the Lafayette area, Hoefer
received a call from the diocese. “They had a part-time position for an NFP coordinator and
offered me the job,” she recalls. By this time, Hoefer was pregnant with her third child and
homeschooling the older two, so she was reluctant to take on too much or be away from home.
“My first obligation is as a wife and mother,” she says. The diocese recognized this, providing
limited, flexible hours and ensuring the position was primarily remote. “This worked out well,”
Hoefer says. “I can help fill this need but still be true to my first responsibilities.”

As the diocesan NFP coordinator, Hoefer’s work is primarily consultation-based. She fields
emails, questions, and concerns from parishes and parishioners throughout the diocese. “Parishes
are often looking for support,” she explains. “They need expertise and information, or someone
to think things through with when developing opportunities for NFP or retreats for parents.”
Hoefer also receives inquiries from couples just starting their NFP journeys and trying to discern
how to approach the process or access opportunities to learn more.
Over time, as Hoefer’s children have grown up and need less one-on-one time, she has been able
to devote more time to diocesan projects and develop other family-oriented programs. “I began
to see more need,” Hoefer recalls, “and I started doing more pro-life work and getting involved
with issues surrounding sexuality and chastity, marriage preparation, and theology of the body.”

After receiving feedback from NFP students, Hoefer realized that many wished they had known
more about the process when they were younger. To address this, she developed a Mother,
Daughter, Father, Son program designed to open the dialogue about sexuality between parents
and their kids. During the program, NFP is introduced so that the youth begin to develop a
Christ-centered view of sexuality that can then be carried through adulthood.

However, Hoefer’s goal isn’t only to reinforce the Church’s teachings on sexuality and marriage
– it’s to create and strengthen the domestic church. “I grew up in the 70s and 80s when
information was hard to come by. The new Catechism wasn’t even written yet,” Hoefer says.
“But now, we’re almost inundated with good catechesis, and it’s the day-to-day life of the home
that isn’t lived out.”

Hoefer looks to combat this cultural shift and help parents return daily faith to the life of the
home by providing experiences and examples of what a domestic church should look like. She
and her husband often run NFP classes in their home and invite the couples to dinner to observe
and interact with their family. Hoefer has also developed a Parenting With Grace program that
she intentionally holds outside the church. “We meet in restaurants,” Hoefer explains, “because I
want to invite people to have conversations about their faith in a public arena and experience
what it feels like to be part of a small faith community.” Participants can then take these
experiences home and integrate what they have learned into their everyday lives.

Since beginning to work for the diocese, Hoefer has begun to see how the seeds God helped her
plant have blossomed. “When teaching NFP for as long as we have, we can reconnect with
couples who now have kids,” Hoefer says, excited. “We see how they’re raising holy families,
and then those kids will hopefully raise their own holy families.”

Seeing this change continuously inspires Hoefer to do more, but she knows that her own
domestic church must remain her priority. “I can’t neglect my vocation to be of service to other
people’s vocations,” she says. “I have to maintain my own first.” To do this, Hoefer continues to
work from home, limiting her “office” time to 8-10 hours a week. Her mornings are dedicated to
her children as their homeschooling instructor, and she tries to schedule meetings only in the
afternoon. Some evenings, she’ll present for different groups or hold classes.

NFP also remains a central part of Hoefer’s marriage and family life. “I’ll probably never know
all the benefits NFP has for the life of our family,” she says, even though she could create a list.
One of the most noticeable differences, however, is the way she has come to understand how she
fits into the bigger picture of her family. “I view marriage differently, look at my spouse and
children differently than the rest of the world does. I see that God is the creator of all and that he
lives within our family,” Hoefer explains.
The beauty and joy that Hoefer has found through NFP and in her domestic church drive her
ministry. She wants to help other couples and families find fulfillment and strength in these
things, too. One day, she hopes that she won’t have a job. “I want families to do so well that
there doesn’t need to be a ministry for this,” she says. Though family life can be difficult, when
it is grounded in a relationship with God, it can blossom, forming a community of love that
shares in the life and mission of the Church.