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Writing Assessment first submission: over 25 points

Names: Laura Espitia and Juliana Martín

Criteria Descriptors Total

Score
(over 25 pts)

Content and Easy to follow, clear, relevant, appropriate level of formality 5/6
register

Vocabulary Range of vocabulary and expressions, new vocabulary, 4/4

adequacy
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Language use Grammatical accuracy, structures 3/4

Organization Logic in the sequence of ideas, support of ideas, cohesive 3/4

devices, coherence

Mechanics Handwriting, layout, punctuation, spelling, capitalization 0/3

Self-evaluation The work was presented within the time allotted /4

The work contains all the elements required in the instruction
(paragraph structure and content)
The work reveals an exceptional attempt to make it
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interesting

FINAL MARK / 25

Although it is an interesting text with nice images, it has different types of mistakes and coherence that affect the quality. Please
correct those mistakes according to the feedback I’m giving you below.
Sao paulo = Capital mistake
 
The carnival of sao Paulo = Capital mistake
April = capital mistake
has a duration of 10 days, = punctuation mistake. Write a period instead of comma.
to witness the celebration = not the most appropriate word; change it.
(…) because it is a very important festival in the country and participate as spectators in the event. = Not clear idea.
In Brazil is very popular the samba = you omitted the subject and the word order is not correct. Check the sentence.
is much more than a type of dance or music, = add the subject and check punctuation.
(…) an important part of the culture, = punctuation mistake.
(…) the happy music in the carnival = punctuation mistake.
The main food the carnival is the Feijoada. = You omitted a word before “the carnival”.
It is prepared with black beans; its companions are bacon and salted meat. = use a connector instead of semicolon and change the
phrase in yellow color.
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Brazil is well known as a country that celebrates different and amazing festivals, there is one in Sao Paulo. This carnival is one of the
most popular and biggest in the country = Basically, this idea is repeated. Did you really work together? Or just cut and paste your
texts?
It is distinguished because = Omit the previous ideas in this paragraph and change the pronoun in yellow with the proper name.
I chose this festival because I like the idea of interacting with dancers, = Is this really a team work? Change punctuation.
I love their clothes, and I would like to go some day to have this experience. Also, I want to try their speciality
Sao Paulo Carnival is an event = add a connector at the beginning to conclude your text.
(…) an event that is so different to Blacks and Whites = The expression is “different from”.