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04/22/2023

CHAPTER 2: COMMUNICATION &

PERSONAL IDENTITY

1. WHAT IS THE SELF?

Self- A Constantly evolving, processual understanding of oneself that grows out of the
process of interacting with others & society & internalizing values & views of our
identity that others reflect to us.
A. We Develop Selves by Internalizing 2 Kinds of Perspectives That are
Communicated to us:
i. Particular Others
ii. Generalized Other

2. PARTICULAR OTHERS
Particular others are specific people that are important in our lives. For example, Our
parents, teachers, peers, coworkers, and our friends. As babes interact with particular
people in their world, they learn how others see them, this is the beginning of a SELF-
CONCEPT!
A. DIRECT DEFINITION
i. Direct Definition- Communication that explicitly tells us who we are by
specifically labeling us and reacting to our behaviors. Usually it first occurs in
families, then in interaction with peers & others.
ii. Family members, etc. Define who we are by telling us who we are or are
expected to be.
iii. Positive (+) - “You’re Smart,” You’re strong.” It can boost or impair our self-
esteem.
iv. Negative (-) - “You’re stupid,” “You’re a troublemaker!” It can demolish a sense
of self-worth.
B. REFLECTED APPRAISAL
i. Reflected appraisal- The process of seeing & thinking about ourselves in terms
of the appraisals of us that others reflect. (Is our perception of another’s view of
us)
ii. This concept is like looking-glass self. (Our mirrors)
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iii. Fathers encourage gender-appropriate behaviors like, aggression,

independence, competitiveness., courage.
C. SOCIAL COMPARISON
i. Social comparison is the process of assessing ourselves in relation to others to
form judgements of our talents, abilities qualities, and so forth.
ii. We measure ourselves in 2 ways:
1. Compare others to ourselves to decide whether we like them or if we differ
from them. Age, color, religion?
2. Social Comparison to measure ourselves & our abilities in relation to
others.
a. Develops realistic self-concepts.

D. Self-Fulfilling Prophecies-
i. Self-fulfilling prophecies are acting in way that embodies expectations or
judgements about us.
E. Identity Scripts-
Identity Scripts is a guide to action based on rules for living & identity. Initially
communicated in families, identity scripts define our roles, how we are to play them,
& basic elements in the plots of our lives. Not the same as a script which is one of the
4 cognitive schemata.
F. Attachment Styles’s-
A pattern of relating instilled by the way a caregiver teaches the child who he or she
is, who others are, & how to approach relationships.
i. Believe the first human bond with a parent is especially important because it
forms expectations for later relations.
ii. It shapes how comfy we feel getting close to others & how secure we feel
accepted & committed to us.
G. Secure attachment Styles-
Is a mode of relating that involves confidence in oneself & in relationships. Like
other styles, the secure mode is instilled by a caregiver who responds in a
consistently attentive, loving way to a child; the most common & most (+) of the 4
attachment styles. People with secure attachment styles tend to be conferrable
forming close bonds with others.
i. Are Comfortable with themselves & are not involved in close relationships.
H. Fearful attachment Styles-
A mode of relating instilled by a caregiver in the 1rst relationship (usually parent-
child) who communicates to the child in consistently negative, rejecting, or even
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abusive ways. People with fearful attachment styles are inclined to feel
apprehensive and insecure about relationships.
i. When the first bond is unavailable or communicates in a negative manner.
I. Dismissive Attachment style-
Is a mode of relating instilled typically early in life by a disinterested, rejecting, or
abusive caregiver, in which the individual later tends to dismiss others as unworthy
& thus does not seek close relationships.
i. Unlike people with fearful attachment styles, those with a dismissive style do
not accept the caregiver’s view of them as unlovable.
ii. May view relationships as unnecessary or undesirable.
J. Anxious/ambivalent attachment style-
Also known as preoccupied. A mode of relating/ attachment style characterized by
preoccupation with relationships & inconsistent behavior toward your partner.
i. Develops in childhood when a caregiver behaves inconsistently toward the
child. Sometimes loving & sometimes rejecting or neglectful.

3. GENERALIZED OTHER
One source of social perspectives that people use to define themselves & guide how they
think, they feel, act; our perception of the views, values, & perspectives that are
endorsed by society. (Meant the general, or overall, society)

4. CULTURE
A. People learn their cultural values in 3 ways:
i. Learn them as we interact with others who have internalized cultural values-
Women & men treat each others as =equals.
ii. We learn broadly shared social perspectives by participating in institutions the
embody Cultural values.- marriage becomes a single unit meaning joint
ownership of property.
iii. We learn culture’s value through media like tv, newspapers, social media. -
Cultural values communicate media to inform, educate, & allow social contact.

5. RACE
A. Race is considered a primary aspect of personal identity.
B. The 3 major racial categories:
i. White
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ii. Colored; &

iii. Black

6. GENDER
A. Girls & Women are expected to care, support others, & be cooperative.
B. Boys & Men are supposed to be independent, self-assertive, and competitive.
C. Women who assert themselves are socially disapproved for violating gender
prescriptions,
D. Men who depart from masculinity and who are gentle & cring are labeled “wimps.”

7. SEXUAL ORIENTATION
A. Heterosexuality is viewed as normal
B. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transsexuals, transgenders, intersexual, & genderqueer
people are abnormal.

8. SOCIOECONOMIC CLASS
A. The socioeconomic class affects everything from how much money we make to the
schools we attend, the jobs open to us, the restaurants we patronize. And the cars
we drive.

9. PERSPECTIVES BECOME PART OF WHO WE ARE, BUT THIS IS

ONLY PART OF THE STORY OF IDENTITY.

10. PRESENTING AND NEGOTIATING IDENTITY

A. Presenting a Face, which is the impression of self that we want others to accept
when we are interacting in social situations.
B. Impression management- which is how we use communication in an effort to
persuade others to believe in the face we present. Examples like:
i. Dress well
ii. Maintain Eye Contact
iii. Experienced & skilled.
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C. The norms, values, beliefs, & traditions of our culture affect what we consider
positive face & what are considered appropriate responses to the faces that others
present.

11. SOCIAL MEDIA & PERSONAL IDENTITY

A. 3 of many ways to focus on personal identity is pertinent to social media.
i. 1)Consider the importance of social media in providing us with direct definition
and reflected appraisals.
ii. Cyberbullying – which includes txt messages, comments, rumors, embarrassing
pics, videos, & fake profiles that are meant to hurt another person & are sent by
social networking sites.
iii. 2) social medis are key sources of social comparison.
iv. 3)social media are platforms for skilled framework.

B. Online communication has great potention for strategic manipulation & even
misrepresentation.

12. GUIDELINE FOR ENRICHING THE SELF

A. 5 guidelines for developing and maintaining a healthy identity.
i. Make a Firm Commitment to
ii. Personal Growth. Most difficult & most importantly.
iii. Gain & Use knowledge to support, Personal towel.
B. Self-Disclosure when appropriate
C. Self- disclosure. The act of revealing personal information a ourselves that others
are unlikely to do. It has notable benefits.
D. Risks of Self Disclosure

13. RISKS OF SELF-DISCLOSURE

A. It is not always advisable.
B. Can it hir others!
C. Risks by proceeding slowly and in relationships in which trust has been established.
D. Test the Waters 1st.
E. Begin by revealing info that is personal but not highly intimate or damaging if
exploited.
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F. Observe how the other person responds to your communication & what she or he
does with it.

14. SET GOALS THAT ARE REALISTIC & FAIR

A. Becoming a totally perfect communivator in all situations, you are setting yourself
up for failure
B. Fair in judging ourselves, we judge our abilities to set our goals with reference to
unfair standards.
C. You can change If you set realistic goals, make a genuine commitment, & then work
for the changes you want.

15. SEEK CONTEXTS THAT SUPPORT PERSONAL CHANGE

A. It’s easier to change our views of ourselves when we have some support for our
efforts.
i. Settings
ii. People’s appraisals of u will help move toward a new desire,
iii. Ourselves, we are our own messages influence our esteem.
iv. Self-sabotage- self-talk that communicates that we are no good, that we can’t do
something, that we can’t change, & so forth. Self-sabotage undermines our belief
in ourselves & our motivation to change & grow.
v. Positive self-talk motivation & belief in yourself.