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V'Ahavta L'rei'acha Kamocha - Rashi and Ramban
V'Ahavta L'rei'acha Kamocha - Rashi and Ramban
When someone does something displeasing or upsetting to you, don’t bottle it up inside ֹלא ִת ְׂשנָא אֶ ת
/ don’t hate them in your HEART. ָאחיָך בִ לְׂ בָ בֶ ָך
ִ
Ramban: Hatred generally prefers to conceal itself (per Mishlei 26:24). Resist that
impulse. Be frank and find a way to tell your friend about your issue. Don’t bury it deep
inside, and pretend that you haven’t been wronged. What should you do instead…?
(But/Rather) Reprove your fellow. ַה ֹוכֵחַ ּתוֹכִ יח
Show them what they did wrong. Ask them, ‘why did you do this to me’? יתָך
ֶ אֶ ת עֲ ִמ
פסוק יז
Don’t bear a sin because of him, to conceal your hatred of him in your heart and not וְׂ ֹלא ִת ָשא עָ ָליו
express your issue. Don’t deny him the opportunity to explain/reconcile. חֵ ְׂטא
Alternatively, don’t conceal hatred and freeze him as sinner in your eyes since by
reproving him he might explain himself or make amends.
Rashi explains that you should not become a sinner yourself by exposing, in an
embarrassing way i.e. publicly, the mistake you perceived they made; do it in a way
that’s constructive, not hurtful. If you keep the hatred inside and think you can handle it
internally, you’re wrong, because hatred finds a way to reveal itself…How is it revealed?
Don’t take revenge and don’t bear a grudge. ֹלא ִתקֹם וְׂ ֹלא ִת ֹטר
After the accused justifies himself or acknowledges his wrongdoing, your feelings of אֶ ת בְׂ נֵי עַ מֶ ך
hatred will hopefully subside, but you may still remember the misdeed; endeavor to
completely erase the memory of your brother’s misdeed from your heart.
The Torah is saying that hatred always comes out. Don’t kid yourself into thinking you
can hide it forever. It will either erupt overtly in the form of revenge, or it will ooze out
subtly in the form of phony civility as the grudge continues to fester.
Instead of clinging to bad feelings, love things that benefit your friend, the same as וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך
what you love for yourself. Love the increase of goodness for him, the same as you 'אֲ נִ י ה
strive to obtain for yourself. Place no limits on that love. Seek his benefit in every aspect
of life. (Ramban maintains it’s impossible to love someone else to the same degree he that loves himself.)
Love your neighbor as yourself, in its context, is part of an antidote: Sometimes people
act badly; the Torah provides a guide for reconciliation and love:
• I can’t hate internally without externally verbalizing the case for that hatred.
• Love is achieved by working through problems; relationships are born by turning
conflict into a means of finding resolutions, to forge a stronger bond going forward,
built on genuine affection and desiring good things for my fellow human as I do
for myself.
Prepared BS”D by Binyamin Casper
בס"ד
וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמ ֹוָך... ָאחיָך בִ לְׂ בָ בֶ ָך
ִ ֹלא ִת ְׂשנָא אֶ ת
Explanation Torah’s Words ויקרא פרק יט
When someone does something displeasing or upsetting to you, ָאחיָך בִ לְׂ בָ בֶ ָך
ִ ֹלא ִת ְׂשנָא אֶ ת
don’t bottle it up inside / don’t hate them in your HEART.
Don’t take revenge and don’t bear a grudge. ֹלא ִתקֹם וְׂ ֹלא ִתטֹר
אֶ ת בְׂ נֵי עַ מֶ ך
Endeavor to completely erase the memory of the misdeed from
your heart. Otherwise, you may soon want to (a) take revenge,
or (b) you’ll live with a grudge that will fester and be damaging
to yourself and make you bitter.
Instead of clinging to bad feelings, love things that benefit וְׂ ָאהַ בְׂ ָּת לְׂ ֵרעֲ ָך כָמוָֹך
your friend, the same as what you love for yourself. Love the 'אֲ נִ י ה
increase of goodness for your friend, the same as you strive to
obtain for yourself. Place no limits on that love. Seek his benefit
in every aspect of life.
People act badly; the Torah provides a guide for reconciliation and love:
• I can’t harbor hate internally without externally formulating and verbalizing
the case for that hatred, in the hopes of conflict resolution.
• Love is achieved by working through problems; relationships are born by
turning conflict into a means of finding reconciliation, to forge a stronger
bond going forward, that is built on genuine affection and desiring good
things for my fellow human as I do for myself.