Making Suggestions or

Invitations & Giving Criticism

CROSS CULTURE UNDERSTANDING
Monday, 10th October 2022
 • In the US, when people say “yes”, they usually mean
“yes”. When people say “no”, they usually mean
“no”.
• When people agree with each other, they say so.
But if they dont agree, they say that they don’t.
Often, to be polite, Americans will say a few words
Saying YES or before they disagree or give bad news; this makes
the disagreement or bad news seem “softer”.
NO • Examples:
• “To be honest, I don’t agree with you.”
• “I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t agree.”
• “To tell the truth, I think you might be in trouble.”
YES or NO?

• If people say that they agree when they

really don’t, other people might think that
they’re not honest.
• However, sometimes Americans might
choose to lie because they don’t want to
hurt someone else’s feelings.
 If Americans don’t understand something, the
usually say that they don’t understand. They
don’t pretend to understand when they really
don’t.

No, thank
you. When Americans say, “No, thank you,” they
usually truly mean “No”. Because of this, it
isn’t polite to ask American the same thing
many times and hope that they’ll change
their answer to “yes”. Sometimes a polite
person will ask twice, but no more than that.
Making Suggestions or
Invitations
• Examples:
• A: Why don’t we get together for dinner sometime soon?
• B: Yes. That’s a good idea. How’s this Saturday night?

• A: Why don’t we get together for dinner sometime soon?

• B: Yes. That sounds good. I’ll give you a call.
 • Another example:
• A: Why don’t we get together for dinner
tomorrow night?
• B: No, I can’t tomorrow night. I have an
appointment, but let’s get together
sometime soon.

Cont’d: Suggestions or
Invitations
• Sometimes yes doesn’t really mean “yes”.
Sometimes it means “maybe” or “I’d like to
but I can’t”. In these cases, people say yes
because they want to be friendly and polite.
One point here is very important, though.
People use yes when they don’t mean “yes”
only in an answer to general suggestion or
invitation.
Cont’d:
• If people say they’ll call soon,
sometimes soon, sometimes next
week, in a couple of weeks or at
another general future times, it isn’t
certain that they’ll actually call at
that time—or perhaps at all.
However, if they say if they say they’ll
call this evening, tomorrow, on
Tuesday, next Saturday, or at another
specific time they truly plan to call,
and you can expect them to do so.
 • Many of the suggestions are also indirect
invitations. Here are some examples:

• Let’s go by bus. ~ OK. Sounds good.

Cont’d: • What about going for a swim? ~ I’d love to.
• How about some snacks? ~ No, thanks. I’m
Suggestions full.
• I think we’d better be going soon. ~ Alright.
• You’d better wear your jacket. ~ Yes,
certainly I will.
 • Most spoken invitations are in the form of
questions. They often begin with will, would,
would you like, would you care to, etc.

• Will you join us for lunch? ~ Thank you.

Cont’d: • Would you like to come along? ~ Yes, I’d love
Invitations to
• Won’t you come in? ~ Thank you.
• Could you come to my cousin’s party next
Friday? ~ Yes, with pleasure.
 A few people don’t like to be so direct. Instead, they might be
sarcastic and say the opposite of their true thoughts; they
hope that other people will still understand them. This,
however, cause problems.
First, people might not understand that they are really angry.

Giving
Criticism Second, people might understand them but also think that
they aren’t polite.

Most Americans believe that they can’t completely trust

someone who isn’t direct.
Assignment #3
• In your country, do people always mean “yes” when they say “yes”?
• In your culture, do people usually accept “no” as an answer, or do
they try to change the person’s answer to “yes”?
• Do people in your country usually tell a person when they don’t
understand?
• What are some common disagreement that people might have with
their neighbor?
• In your country, is it more polite to be direct or indirect?