Proofreading Test

Your Name: Catie Gilhooly

This test will be completed in two parts. Part 1 is a test over punctuation rules
and grammar errors. Part 2 will ask you to proofread a two-page document. This
test is open-book, open note.

Part 1a: Punctuation Challenge

For this part of the exam, use proofreading marks to correct the punctuation in
the following sentences. You will receive three points for each corrected
sentence.

World War I (also known as the Great War ended in 1918.

Were going to the store later, if you’re interested in joining us.

The police officer who had been injured, ended up in the hospital.

The following public buildings were damaged by the storm, Madison School,
The Bridgetown City Hall, and the police station.

The eagle landed on it’s nest with a fish for its young.

The two squirrels bounded across the road We almost hit them with our car.

The cat slid across the table that was in the middle, of the room.

Paige began complaining about the coffee-she was always complaining about
something-so I ignored her.

Nicole explained “The problem isn’t the economy. It’s the pandemic.”

Beyonce’s best song is Get Me Bodied released in 2006.

Hector asked, “What is the purpose of this idiotic protest.”

He was upset about the graffiti on the wall; which included graphic profanity.

Governor Chavez was interested in solving problems, however, the state

legislature did not agree with his solutions.

Getting a good grade in Professor Young’s class can be challenging: but I

couldn’t understand why Melissa was so stressed out.

Did Taylor just say, “I am the only person able to fix this?”
Part 1b: Grammar Challenge
Proofread the following ten sentences, using proofreading symbols to correct
them. Then, on the right, name the grammar error. In each sentence, there is one
grammar error. You will receive two points for correctly fixing the grammar error
and one point for naming the that error. Hint: There is no apostrophe error or
shifted tense error in the list below.

Correct the Sentence with Proofreading Name the Grammar Error

Marks
My phone was new, but didn’t work.

Ryan and Tyler asked if they could borrow

my soccer ball, and he left it on my porch
later that evening.

If birdwatchers want to see a bald eagle,

you can see one today by the Wabash
River.

My grandmother gasped when she saw

Brandon and I holding hands at the store.

One of these politicians need to do

something about the violence in this town.

Proofreading involves correcting grammar

errors, fixing spelling mistakes, and
identify usage problems.

The team needs to improve they need to

practice with more intensity.

The arena was completely renovated. To

get it ready for the Olympics.

The car ran the stoplight, it almost hit a

pedestrian.

While driving home from Wisconsin, our

baby slept comfortably in her car seat.
Proofreading Challenge
There are over twenty-five punctuation, grammar, and formatting errors in the
attached two-page proof. Find these errors and use proofreading marks to
correct them.
Each error you find and correct will be worth one point. If you correct items that
aren’t errors, they won’t count.
Relax. The errors in this proof should be rather obvious. Just use your sheet of
proofreading marks to correct the obvious ones. Mostly, I’m checking to see if
you know how to use the proofreading marks on a proof. So, the errors should be
easy to find.
If you would like to add queries in the margins, please do. You shouldn’t need to,
but you might want to explain a judgment call.
This text was taken from the magazine Iowa State Visions, and you can find the
article at
https://www.isualum.org/s/565/17/interior.aspx?sid=565&gid=1&pgid=6223&cid=
9009&ecid=9009&crid=0&calpgid=2593&calcid=6697
Of course, I’ve messed it up a bit!
 How past epidemics Battered
the Iowa State campus
By Douglas Biggs and Becky Jordan
The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted the life
of nearly every person in the world. Stories of
how Iowa State students, faculty, and staff have
worked to HELP fight the global pandemic have
appeared in newspapers and magazines and on
television. Yet while the current outbreak isnew,
Iowa State has a long history of facing epidemics.
These stories of sorrow and loss also show how
the institution met the challenges of the time to
keep the community safe.
Although Iowa Agricultural College as ISU was
then known) was founded in 1858, classrooms,
labs and dormitory facilities were not ready until
1869 when the first students arrived on campus.
With the inception of classes, the college faced
constant public health concerns. Erly epidemics at
the young college were brought on by
overcrowding, an inadequate water supply, and
poor sanitary conditions.
Overcrowding, water shortage, and
tainted Milk
Overcrowding made it possible for all manner of
diseases to appear and spread easily. College
physician David Fairchild constantly fought small
outbreaks of disease in the 1880s and 1890s.
Fairchild reported 18 cases of measles and 23 cases
of German measles in 1888, 26 cases of mumps in
1889, and a further 24 cases of weasles in 1891.
While mumps, measles, and colds were annoying,
they were not generally life-threatening. But by
1895, Iowa State began to face more significant
public health issues based around a shortage of
fresh waterskis. Because the founders never
envisioned a college of 300 students—let alone the
Visions
500-student enrollment reached by 1895-the college
and farm had only a number of shallow wells to
draw upon. As the college water supply dwindled,
cases of typhoid fever developed on campus in mid-
October. And when the college literally drank its
wells dry several weeks later, President Beardshear
found himself in a difficult situation. Without
sufficient water to flush the sewer system, the
college faced the very real threat of a major outbreak
of tyfoid fever. After consulting the faculty,
Beardshear closed the college four weeks early, sent
the students home, and canceled graduation exercises
The near-catastrophe of 1895 led to allocations
from the legislature for a 2,215-foot-deep artesian
well and a 162,000-gallon steel water tank (Marston
Water Tower). While IAC’s water problems seemed
under control, overcrowded conditions on campus
only worsened as the turn of thecentury neared.
By 1999, enrollment had reached 830, with no
downturn in sight. The Trustees continued to
follow the college policy that demanded all
students (or at least as many as possible) live and
ate on campus. As Beardshear saw it in October
1899, overcrowding reached the point that “we
are full from cellar to garret.
16
 The overcrowded conditions greatly worried
the president, and he pushed the Board of
Trustees to allow students to live in the city of
ame s. However, as the Trustees were conscious
of the need to balance budgets, and the income
from room and board helped the bottom line,
they turned a deaf ear to Beardshears requests.
With little choice, Iowa State continued with
too many people in too small a space, and
conditions become favorable for public health
issues.
A global pandemic
The public health issues that had confronted
Iowa State before 1918 were specific to campus
and were a direct result of sanitary issues solved
relatively quickly by college authorities. But, as
the world became smaller and long-distance
travel more common, more people from
different parts of the country came to Iowa
State and broght with them more global public
health concerns.
During the last months of War World I in
1918, the world faced the outbreak of what
people at the time called the “Spanish Flu” or
the H1N1 vims, and Iowa State was caught up
in a global pandemic. In the United States, the
disease may well have started in rural kansas.
But by March 1918 it had reached military
training facilities in Fort Riley, and from there it
spread rapidly. The flu was unusual in that its
first waves attacked young people between 20
and 40 years of age; thus, college campuses and
military training facilities were among the
hardest hit locations. Over 24 weeks in 1918,
the influenza killed approximately 675,000
AME RI CANS.
The first cases at Iowa State College (as the
college was known by that time) appeared on
October 8, and the flu swept through the
community so quickly that within several weeks
there were 1,250 cases. The new college hospital
(now the Student Services Building) had just
opened that spring, and it was quickly filled to
capacity with sick studen ts and men from the
Visions
Student Army Training Corps (SATC). It was not
long before the floor of the State Gym, along with
boarding houses and fraternities close to campus,
were requisitioned as hospital space. One of the
women's dormitories was used to care for female
flu victims.
Classes were suspended, and the campus
was quarantined. Both students and Sate men
needed special passes to go into Ames. No one
could leave campus except in a family
emergency, and dining in town was forbidden.
Though the student newspaper claimed that the
influenza had been “literally stamped out” in it's
October 25 edition, such was hardly the case.
While the number of cases of flu had declined,
even by Armistice Day on November 11, their
were still over 100 cases in the hospital. The
influenza proved as deadly as it was disruptive to
both college and SATC affairs. More than 50 men
from the SATC corps died from the flu, while 28
from the student body fell victim to the disease by
the time the epidemic died down in late November
The SATC men who died are listed with the
World War I dead in the Memorial Union's Gold
Star Hall.
H1N1 influenza returned to Iowa State
throughout the 1920s. In January 1920 the Ames
Daily Tribune took a positive attitude to the fact
that there were “probably something like 20 cases
of influenza in the city—all mild.” But by January
27, all dances had been banned, and Dr. C.G.
Tilden, ISC's physician, reported nearly 100 cases
at the college hospital. The ISC Student was not
blind to growing problem in and around campus.
17
Date: April 2, 2021
To: Revealing Reality team
From: Catie Gilhooly
Subject: “Ofcom Children’s Media Lives: Life in Lockdown”

Dear team,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read and edit your findings document, “Life in Lockdown.”
As a twenty-year-old not so far off from the ages of many of these subjects highlighted and an avid social
media user (especially over the past year!), I found this article to be extremely interesting. There’s a lot of
good that this information can do in helping parents and educators to better understand this age group and
their “obsessions” with technology, and the ways that this has changed with the global pandemic.

In order to fit these purposes, there are revisions that must be made mostly in terms of organization and a
shift in tone. The document currently has a very technical tone with academic language, but it would be
beneficial to have a more personal tone for our audience of parents and educators. We want to make this
information inviting and accessible to everyone by humanizing the data (after all, our subjects are
human!).

Market Analysis
Again, our primary audience are the parents and educators of the kids in this general age group. With the
state of the world with the pandemic, many parents have felt like they cannot take care of their children as
their own worlds are changing at pivotal social and growing moments of their lives. Thus, they come to
this document with the aim of understanding exactly how the kids they love, and their peers are using
social media and the Internet to adjust to and cope with these huge world changes. Educators have the
same goal—understanding where these kids are at so they can better serve and educate them.

It is expected that the primary mode of this document would be social media (ironically enough!).
Therefore, this document should also be adjusted to be better read on screen rather than print.
Additionally, it has to be engaging to the reader and hold their attention to encourage them to stick with it
despite their busy parenting and working schedules. Schools or other youth organizations may even
endorse or publish this document to offer support and insight to parents and educators. It could even
result in a change in how online learning is conducted on a local, state, or federal level, as e-learning is a
major topic in this document.

Content Analysis
This document currently has great use of a variety of sources. The inclusion of quotes and personal
recounting sprinkled into the analysis and summary of trends throughout the document serve as little bits
of that personal element mixed into the overall academic tone. Now we just want to pull those personal
parts and make them the main focus of the document. This is mostly going to be done through re-
organization and language change to make the information tell the stories of these children as they
navigate through these challenging times with the help of social media and technology.
Missing Information
The best way to keep readers engaged is through visuals and images. That being said, the document will
need all of the visuals and pictures that can possibly be used. We may consider reaching out to the
subjects and seeing if there are more pictures that they have of their everyday lives in lockdown (while
maintaining that privacy).

The current document also has an entire section dedicated to “new habits reported by teenage girls.”
While this organization is going to change and that information will be dispersed throughout the
narratives of the subjects, it’s important to even that out and talk about trends for the male subjects as
well.

Information to Omit
A huge aspect of the academic language is the “summaries of key findings” specifically. For the
introduction especially this information is irrelevant if we are taking on a more personal approach. We
also want the parental tips and quotes should be excluded from the main copy to keep focus on the kids.

Organization Analysis
Right now, the document is organized by topic. Now we want to spin that on its head to tell its own story-
the story of these kids in lockdown, how their lives changed (and are changing) and how they adapted. It
should also be a priority not to downplay or discredit the struggles of these children, in order to make the
reader empathetic and hopefully help the audience to better understand their side of this pandemic.

For the introduction specifically, the summary/preview of “key findings” should be omitted as previously
mentioned and replaced with more context of the COVID-19 pandemic, lockdown, and how suddenly it
all came on. The goal is to tell this story chronologically if possible, by highlighting the profiles of one
singular child at a time and connecting them to each other.

Design
Another sure-fire way of making this document more approachable and relevant to the social media topic
is to make it look more like social media. The document can use templates from sites like YouTube,
Twitter, Instagram, Google Maps, Snapchat, and TikTok as inspiration. These are very recognizable,
especially to younger audiences. Please see the attached thumbnails for inspiration and context in terms of
the cover, the table of contents, each “profile” page, and the conclusion. It will also be worthwhile to
include more color throughout.

The parental tips and quotes from the original document can also be placed into “Parental Advisory”
boxes on the sides of pages. This keeps the focus on the kids but also incorporates that perspective as a
secondary focus.

Revisions
Again, I thoroughly enjoyed this document and learned a lot about the current state of social media and
the glimpses that kids are seeing into the world. We already have many necessary elements, but require
re-organization and help from our designers to incorporate those social media elements. I would love to
see new, rough designs by April 16th at the latest, so that I can provide additional feedback. I anticipate
a final draft date of April 30th. If you should have any questions on my edits or comments, feel free to
contact me by email at cgilhool@purdue.edu or by phone at 219-741-5647. I look forward to revisions
and seeing the progress of this document!
Sincerely,
Catie Gilhooly
Editor, College of Liberal Arts
 Style Sheet
Manuscript: “CDC Grand Rounds: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – Advancing
Research and Clinical Education”
Date of Latest Addition or Change: Jan. 27, 2021
Copyeditor: Catie Gilhooly Proofreader: Catie Gilhooly
A

Aspartate transaminase

Alanine transaminase

Alkaline phosphatase

Albumin

Antinuclear antibodies

Allostatic load

Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality

Association of American Medical Colleges

CFS - Chronic fatigue syndrome

CDC

Chronic Epstein-Barr virus syndrome

Chronic fatigue immune dysfunction

CDC Grand Rounds

Creatinine
C-reactive protein

Comorbid conditions

Coxiella burnetti

CME

Etiologic agent

Epstein-Barr Virus

Free thyroxine

Giardia

IOM – Institute of Medicine

Lactate dehydrogenase

ME – myalgic encephalomyelitis (another name for CFS)

ME/CFS

MMWR

Medscape

MedEd Portal

Neuroendocrine response

Nonpharmacologic

NIH – National Institutes of Health

Orthostatic intolerance

Persons

Postexertional malaise

Polymorphism

Pharmacologic

Pathways to Prevention

Q-fever

Rheumatoid factor

Ross River virus

S

Systemic exertion intolerance disease

SF-36 – the 36-Item Short Form Survey

Sedimentation rate

Sjörgen’s syndrome

Stanford

Z
Formatting
Title: Centered, blue sans-serif font, size 30 (ish)

A-Head: left-aligned, blue, 20 pt font (sans serif)

B-Head:

C-Head:

D-Head:

Basal Font: (body font?????) serif - Garamond

Extracts: Bolded 12 pt font

References to Figures: parentheses with name at end of sentence

Figure Titles:

Captions: sans serif, Calibri black

Citation Style:

Sequential Lists:

Non-Sequential Lists:

Use of Italics:

Use of Bold: Extract headings

Running Heads: blue sans serif, 15 pt blue font

Running Footer: blue sans serif, 10 pt blue font

Pagination: bottom right corner only, blue

Use of Numbers: all numerical, none written out