Worksheet 7:

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.

Three Things I wish my parents/guardians understood about me are:

1. Sometimes school is tiring
2. I get tired
3. Sometimes am actually hurt (physical hurt)

Three Things I wish my teachers understood about me are:

1. I love sports
2. I want to be a pro soccer player
3. I never go out

Three Things I wish my friends understood about me are:

1. I can’t never shut up
2. When I tell them to shut up
3. Its ok to share how they feel

5 Poor listening Styles

You can’t understand someone who is talking to you if you don’t listen carefully? Surprise!
Like most of us you probably don’t know how to listen very well. We are usually too busy
preparing our response, judging or making words fit our own paradigms. Usually we use one of
these five poor listening styles:

1. Spacing out

What is “Spacing out” listening?

When someone is talking to us but we ignore them because our mind is
wandering off in another galaxy.

A time when someone spaced out on me was:

When I was talking to my mom and she was busy so she pretended she listen to go away because
of how busy she was.

It made me feel:
Made me feel like she didn’t care about was I was trying to tell her, but it’s when I was
younger so I didn’t really care I just told her again when she wasn’t busy

I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or False? Why?
When they tell me to listen to them I do, but when someone is telling me something and am all
busy I don’t listen to them Ignore and ask them what they were saying after.

If true, who do you do it the most?

My brothers when they try to talk to me when am busy
2. Pretending to listen

What is “Pretend listening”?

When we aren’t paying much attentions to another person, but at least we are by making
insightful comment.
A time when someone pretended to listen to me was:
When I was telling someone and they were looking another way and not into me or my eyes
It made me feel:
Like he didn’t wanted to listen, that’s why they were looking another way and not into me, they
acted like they payed attention.
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why?
False, I listen to what people need to tell me or want to tell me I put all ear on them, depends if I
like him or not.
If true, who do you do it to the most?

3. Selective listening

What is “Selective” listening?

When we pay attention only to the part of the conversation that interest us.
A time when someone use selective listening to listen to me was:
When they asked me about something that happened but instead I tell them the
whole story and they just wait till I answer there question and then finally talk.

It made me feel:
I didn’t really care, am a person who doesn’t really care about stuff that’s not important.

I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why?
False, I actually enjoy listening to all the chisme to be honest

If true, who do you do it to the most?

To everyone who tells me anything
4. Word Listening

What is “Word” listening?

When we actually pay attention to what someone is saying, but we listen only to the words.
A time when someone used word listening to listen to me was:
It has never happened to me, I don’t show movement while talking I always stay still

It made me feel:
Nothing, never happened
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why?
False I know when someone is really stressing when they start moving around or when they are
expressing themselves by moving their hand a lot.
If true, who do you do it to the most?

5. Self-centered listening
 What is “self-centered” listening?
Happens when we see everything from out own point of view.
A time when someone used self-centered listening to listen to me was:
When someone was telling me how they would react if they were me, like I don’t need to know
how you would act am just telling you what’s going on.
It made me feel:
Likes if they didn’t care because they told me what they would do, but then don’t know the full
story and how I cannot act how they telling me they would act.
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why
No False I don’t do this, because I like to hear other problems they are interesting and then you
feel bad
If true, who do you do it to the most?

3 ways we reply from our point of view

1. What is “judging”?
When someone is saying bad stuff about or when ur talking about what you don’t like about
someone, or when someone just keeps on telling other how bad your clothes are, how much u
hate something from someone or when you calling people weird on how they act.

2. What is “advising”?
offer suggestions about the best course of action to someone.

3. What is “probing”?
to search into and explore very thoroughly