Running head: INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 1

Interpersonal Communication

Cynthia Nieto Vargas

Arizona State University

COM 100 – Module 7

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Interpersonal Communication

How do you define interpersonal communication? Do you consider family, friends, and

significant others as people you can open up to or let your guard down? How well do you

communicate with each other, and what makes your interpersonal relationship unique from the

rest of other relationships? In everyday life, we make special unforgettable bonds with a few

people who can resonate with us in a deeper level. Moreover, in this paper, I will discuss the

importance of interpersonal communication, including a primary developmental stage in

interpersonal relationships and critical aspects of maintaining a personal connection with close

ones and making key connections between the author’s video and book.

Video Synopsis

Jess Alberts begins the video by defining an online definition of interpersonal

communication and how its description may be misleading and informal regarding its real

meaning when looking deeper into its context. For example, search engines typically define

interpersonal communication as “communication that occurs between two or a small number of

people” (Alberts, 2018). She further explains that interpersonal communication is a complex

system of critical components that make individuals engage differently in conversations with

loved ones or those close to them. According to Alberts (2018), “In those conversations, we

reveal who we are” (1:33). In other words, we take down what I like to call masks and expose

our deepest intentions and identity without fearing or feeling vulnerable. As mentioned by

Alberts (2018), “We feel comfortable letting those people know our warts and all, the good

things and not so good things” (1:37). On top of that, she describes interpersonal communication

as a way of signifying that one is unique and irreplaceable (Alberts, 2018). Above all,
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interpersonal communication creates a solid foundation for meaningful relationships that strive

off of love, trust, compassion, commitment, and much more.

Application One

First, interpersonal communication is vital because it makes us who we are to ourselves

and others. Interpersonal communication builds upon our identity and makes us more effective

communicators when speaking of intimate taboo topics. Interpersonal communication is a sense

of freedom and self-expression. Furthermore, interpersonal communication allows individuals to

disclose information they wouldn’t usually exchange in regular impersonal conversations. For

instance, as stated by Alberts et al. (2018), “Close relationships are distinguished by their

frequency, intensity, and diversity of contact as well as their level of intimacy, importance, and

satisfaction” (section 9.1). Clearly, viewing interpersonal communication as Knapp’s stage

model (Alberts et al., 2018, 9.2) will give an easier understanding of how personal relationships

develop, which views interpersonal relationships as an up and down staircase (Alberts et al.,

2018). In connection with the video, Alberts conducted a tape record study of 10 married couples

who would demonstrate either similar or different stair levels in their relationship regarding

marital satisfaction and conflict (Alberts, 2018).  Some couples illustrated a positive upward

toward commitment, whereas others showcased a downward spiral towards relational dissolution

(Alberts et al., 2018, 9.2). Thus, Knapp’s stage model illustrates the importance of interpersonal

communication and relational development.

Application Two.

Secondly, to better grasp Knapp’s stage model, it is essential to note the developmental

stages gravitating towards commitment and what steps lead to loss of personal relationships. The

component I will specifically talk about is experimenting (Alberts et al., 2018, 9.2). The
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experimental stage, as said by Alberts et al. (2018), is the “stage of romantic relational

development in which both people seek to learn about each other” (section 9.2). Taking the case

of video connections, Alberts reported that couples made fascinating, lengthy interconnections

during TV time (Alberts, 2018). Furthermore, Alberts continues to explain one particular case of

a couple that watched a tv program relating to death due to a bullying incident (Alberts, 2018).

Then, the husband opens up about an experience relating to being bullied in school and the toll

on his well-being. Immediately, the wife engages in her part. Overall, the couple entered the

experimenting stage, learning something new about each other, whether good, bad, sad, happy,

etc. In keeping with Alberts (2018), “topics are intimate or embarrassing or difficult” (5:20); as a

result, the environmental factors play a huge role, and that can be as simple as doing an ordinary

activity like watching TV with a loved one.  On the whole, there are topics where one may feel

hesitant to talk about. Still, once going up the staircase into the experimentation level,

individuals learn to create a sense of openness towards each other.

Application Three.

Lastly, maintaining an interpersonal relationship takes a lot of time, effort, and the ability

to do the right thing in the companionship or relationship. Considering the social penetration

theory, a theory that proposes relationships develop through increases in self-disclosure (Alberts

et al., 2018). On the one hand, being able to successfully or practice self-disclosure, including

breadth, depth, and frequency, will bring one another closer in the relationship (Alberts et al.,

2018, section 9.3). On the other hand, relational dialectics will also influence the development

and maintenance of personal relationships. Such as three tensions conforming to Alberts et al.

(2018), “autonomy/connection, expressiveness/privacy, and change/predictability” (section 9.3).

As an illustration, an individual can spark self-disclosure through a “bid for attention” (Alberts,
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2018) because there is a moment of initiating and bonding in that exact moment. As a result, the

bid for attention increases positive connections and higher exchanges of understanding in

interpersonal relationships.

Conclusion.

As I have shown, interpersonal communication is a simple yet complex process of

individuals expressing themselves with non-verbal or verbal actions. Still, there is a significant

way of adequately communicating under any circumstances. As I have noted, there are

developmental stages one may consider exploring and testing before committing to an

interpersonal relationship. One may also learn about the downward stages of how a relationship

will either fail or need assistance. Soon after, maintaining an interpersonal relationship may not

be easy. Still, it’s not impossible as long as one and the other party involved keep self-disclosure

and balancing or adjusting relational dialectics for the sake of each other’s well-being in the

relationship. Thus, interpersonal communication is the foundation of meaningful strong-hearted

relationships and plays a critical role in everyday life.

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References

Alberts, J. (2018). Interpersonal communication [Video file]. Retrieved from

https://asu.instructure.com/courses/88413/pages/module-6-learning-materials-ppts-dr-

alberts-and-dr-cheong-faculty-lectures?module_item_id=5778408&wvideo=vxki9pb97s

Alberts, J., Nakayama, T., & Martin, J. (2018). Human communication in society (5th ed.,

REVEL). Pearson.