Worksheet 7:

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.

Three Things I wish my parents/guardians understood about me are:

1. That my life is not just the grade I get on a paper
2. That my life is not the size of my pants
3. I’m not just a perfect person and I commit mistakes

Three Things I wish my teachers understood about me are:

1. That not everyone is perfect
2. I’m not always on my computer
3. Grades don’t define who you are,
Like i might be really bad at math I could be really good at biology.

Three Things I wish my friends understood about me are:

1. That I just eat a lot
2. I’m not perfect
3. I could be shy sometimes

5 Poor listening Styles

You can’t understand someone who is talking to you if you don’t listen carefully? Surprise!
Like most of us you probably don’t know how to listen very well. We are usually too busy
preparing our response, judging or making words fit our own paradigms. Usually we use one of
these five poor listening styles:

1. Spacing out
What is “Spacing out” listening?
Spacing out listening is when someone is talking to us but we ignore them because our mind is
wandering off in another place.
A time when someone spaced out on me was:
A time when someone spaced out on me was when I was talking about Marvel because in a way
they kind of didn’t know what I was talking about, so I guess they just stopped listening and
started thinking about something else.
It made me feel:
It made me feel like I was getting ignored, and I felt bad because I was talking about probably
something really boring for them.
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or False? Why?
I find myself occasionally doing it that on my friends because I’m just planning out my day in
my mind and I plan what I’m going to do when I get home. So it’s true that I space out.
If true, who do you do it the most?
Some people I do it to the most is my mom, my dad, sometimes my sister, sometimes Hannah,
and sometimes Ayden.

2. Pretending to listen
 What is “Pretend listening”?
Pretend listening is when we are not paying attention to the other person but we pretend
we are because we do little comments like “ yeah”, “cool”, “sound great”, but then the
person talking will get the hint and stop talking.
A time when someone pretended to listen to me was:
A time when someone [pretend to be listening to me was this one time I was telling a story, we
were sitting on the ground and everyone was just staring at the floor, and I’m guessing it was
really boring my story because they stopped listening and I remember one of my friends saying
cool.
It made me feel:
It made me feel like I was getting ignored or as if I wasn’t important enough.
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why?
I find myself to be doing that to my mom, some of my friends. Because I start thinking of what
I’m going to do when I get home. Like I start to plan my schedule in my head.
If true, who do you do it to the most?
I do it most on my mom, and some of my friends.
3. Selective listening
What is “Selective” listening?
Selective listening is when we pay attention. Only to the part of the conversation
that interests us.
A time when someone use selective listening to listen to me was:
A time when someone used selective listening to me was when I was talking about
F1 to my friends and they just did some comments here and there.
It made me feel:
I was kind of happy because I got to tell someone.
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why?
Sometimes I do that to my parents, and comment thing here and there.
If true, who do you do it to the most?
My parents.
4. Word Listening
What is “Word” listening?
Word listening is when we actually pay attention to what someone is saying but we
only listen to the words and not the body language.
A time when someone used word listening to listen to me was:
A time when someone used word listening to me was when we were using our computers in
school and I was telling them something and then they just commented on what they thought.
It made me feel:
It made me feel like I was less important than the computer.
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why?
I feel like I don’t do this to anyone cause mostly when they talk I just look at them. I probably
had but I don’t remember.
If true, who do you do it to the most?

5. Self-centered listening
What is “self-centered” listening?
Self-centered listening is when we see everything form out own point of view instead of
 standing in someone else’s shoes.
A time when someone used self-centered listening to listen to me was:
A time when someone used self-centered listening on me was when I was telling them that I was
struggling with a class they didn’t have and they were answering with another class, trying to
relate to me in a way.
It made me feel:
It made me feel like WTH you don’t even have the class.
I find myself doing this to someone else often. True or false? Why?
I don’t think I do this to other people because I try to resonate with them like try to tell them if
they need help with anything that I’ll be there and stuff.
If true, who do you do it to the most?

3 ways we reply from our point of view

1. What is “judging”?
Judging is when you “listening” to other but in our head we are making judgement to what the
person is saying.
2. What is “advising”?
Advising is when we give advice drawn from our own experience.
3. What is “probing”?
Probing occurs when you try to dig up emotions before people are ready to share them.