What can cause low self-esteem?

The things that affect our self-esteem differ for

everyone. Your self-esteem might change suddenly, or you might have had low self-esteem
for a while – which might make it hard to recognise how you feel and make changes.Difficult
or stressful life experiences can often be a factor, such as:being bullied or abused,
experiencing prejudice, discrimination or stigma, losing your job or difficulty finding
employment, problems at work or while studying, ongoing stress, physical health
problems, mental health problems, relationship problems, separation or divorce,
worries about your appearance and body image.

Self-esteem and Gender

Significant information about gender aspectsincludes that women have

historically occupied lower status social positions and are frequently targets of
prejudice and discrimination, these could have negative consequences for
their self-esteem. Often girls and women feel that they cannot rise to the standards
of expectations of society. In a 14-nation study by Williams and Best (1990)
assessed the self-esteem of men and women. In India and Malaysia, women were
expected to remain at home and take up the roles of a wife and mother, they
had a negative self-esteem. Whereas, in England and Finland, women were
more active in the labour force and the status difference between men and
women is les, members of each gender tend to perceive themselves equally and
favourably. Longitudinal studies also report that women with jobs in which
gender discrimination is frequent are likely to have poorer well-being. A meta-
analysis of research in America and Canada reveal men to have a reliably
higher self-esteem than women (Major et al, 1999). Studies also reveal that the
difference between men and women is less in professional class and more in
the middle and lower classes. Women who have attained a culturally desirable
position are likely to have a higher self-esteem than those women who have been
devalued. Thus being devalued refers to feelings of being excluded, creates a sense
of powerlessness and thus a lower self-esteem.

Further, it is noted that adolescent boys with high self-esteem are almost two
and a half times more likely to initiate sex than boys with low self-esteem,
while girls with high self-esteem are three times more likely to delay sex than
girls with low self-esteem (Spencer, Zimet, Aalsma, & Orr, 2002).Low self-
esteem is linked to violence, school dropout rates, teenage pregnancy, suicide,
and low academic achievement (Misetich& Delis-Abrams, 2003).About 44% of
girls and 15% of boys in high school are attempting to lose weight.Seven in 10
girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way (Dove
Self-Esteem Fund, 2008).A girl’s self-esteem is more strongly related to how she
views her own body shape and body weight than how much she actually weighs
(Dove Self-Esteem Fund, 2008).Nearly all women (90%) want to change at least
one aspect of their physical appearance.The vast majority (81%) of 10-year old
girls are afraid of being fat.About one in four college-age women have an eating
disorder.Only 2% of women think they are beautiful.Absent fathers, poverty, and a
low-quality home environment have a negative impact on self-esteem (Orth, 2018).

Case Study - What does high self-esteem look like?

Imagine a high-achieving student who takes a difficult exam and earns a failing
grade. If she has high self-esteem, she will likely chalk up her failure to factors like
not studying hard enough, a particularly difficult set of questions, or simply having
an “off” day. What she doesn’t do is conclude that she must be stupid and that she
will probably fail all future tests too.
Having a healthy sense of self-esteem guides her toward accepting reality, thinking
critically about why she failed, and problem-solving instead of wallowing in self-
pity or giving up.
For a second example, think about a young man out on a first date. He really likes
the young woman he is going out with, so he is eager to make a good impression
and connect with her. Over the course of their discussion on the date, he learns that
she is motivated and driven by completely different values and has very different
taste in almost everything.
Instead of going along with her expressed opinions on things, he offers up his own
views and isn’t afraid to disagree with her. His high self-esteem makes him stay
true to his values and allows him to easily communicate with others, even when
they don’t agree. To him, it is more important to behave authentically than to
focus on getting his date to like him.
Signs of Strong Self-Esteem
The confident person is easily spotted and commands attention. But there's a healthy
balance between too little and too much self-worth. Here are some signs that an individual
has the right dose.Knows the difference between confidence and arrogance, Is not afraid
of feedback, Does not people-please or seek approval, Is not afraid of conflict, Is able to
set boundaries, Is able to voice needs and opinions, Is assertive, but not pushy, Is not a
slave to perfection, Is not afraid of setbacks, Does not fear failure, Does not feel inferior,
Accepts who they are. Appreciate themselves and other people.
They enjoy growing as a person and finding fulfillment and meaning in their lives.Are
able to dig deep within themselves and be creative.Make their own decisions and conform to
what others tell them to be and do only when they agree. Have loving and
respectful relationships. Know what their values are and live their lives
accordingly.Speak up and tell others their opinions, calmly and kindly, and share their
wants and needs with others.Endeavor to make a constructive difference in other people’s
lives. Act assertively without experiencing any guilt, and feel at ease communicating with
others.
Avoid dwelling on the past and focus on the present moment.Believe you are equal to
everyone else, no better and no worse.Reject the attempts of others to manipulate
you.Recognize and accept a wide range of feelings, both positive and negative, and share
them within your healthy relationships.Enjoy a healthy balance of work, play,
and relaxation.Accept challenges and take risks in order to grow, and learn from your
mistakes when you fail.Handle criticism without taking it personally, with the knowledge
that you are learning and growing and that your worth is not dependent on the opinions of
others.Value yourself and communicate well with others, without fear of expressing your
likes, dislikes, and feelings.

Is low self-esteem a mental health problem?

Having low self-esteem isn't a mental health problem in itself, but they are closely
linked. If lots of things affect your self-esteem for a long time, this might lead to mental
health problems (for example depression or anxiety).Some of the experiences of low self-
esteem can be signs of a mental health problem, particularly if they last for a long time
or affect your day-to-day life. For example:feeling hopeless or worthless, blaming
yourself unfairly, hating yourself, and, worrying about being unable to do things.
Having a mental health problem can also cause you to have low self-esteem, and it might feel
harder to cope or take steps to improve your self-esteem.

Ways of Improving Self-esteem

Some actions that you can take to help improve your self-esteem include:

 Become more aware of negative thoughts. Learn to identify the distorted thoughts that

are impacting your self-worth. By becoming aware of negative self-talk. We begin to

distance ourselves from the feelings it brings up. This enables us to identify with them
less. Without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap of believing our self-
limiting talk, and as meditation teacher Allan Lokos says, “Don’t believe everything
you think. Thoughts are just that — thoughts.
 Change the Story - Challenge negative thinking patterns. When you find yourself
engaging in negative thinking, try countering those thoughts with more realistic
and/or positive ones. If we want to change that story, we have to understand where it
 came from and where we received the messages we tell ourselves.Whose voice/s are
we internalising? Automatic negative thoughts like you are fat or dark skinned are
repeated often in our mind and we start to believe it. These thoughts are learned and
hence need to be unlearned.
 Therefore, use positive self-talk. Practice reciting positive affirmations to yourself.
Write down the different positive things about yourself and read them every day. This
can lessen symptoms of depression or low self-esteem.
 Avoid the compare-and-despair rabbit hole. Practice acceptance and avoid
comparison with others, as it may lead to anxiety and stress.
 Practice self-compassion. Practice forgiving yourself for past mistakes and move
forward by accepting all parts of yourself. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a
tree, then it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid and incompetent. We all
have our strengths and weaknesses.
 Practice self-care. Self-care does not mean that you are selfish or self-centred. It refers
to the different ways you can look after yourself to maintain, physical, mental health
and lead a balanced lifestyle.
 Help Others. Volunteer to those who are less fortunate. By helping and serving others,
it makes your challenges feel smaller and possibly we are less focussed on our issues.
 Forgive- self and others. Try not to hold bitterness or resentment, this way we keep
ourselves in a cycle of negativity. Helps us in accepting our self and others with their
flaws
 Remember that you are not your circumstances. Differentiate between yourself and
the situation/s you are in. Recognising inner worth and accepting one’s imperfect self
is of import.