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Ana Patricia Lebrón

Professor Jan Babcock

English 137H

November 13, 2022

The Evolution of Dating Throughout Time

Personally, I have never tried dating apps, but I have gone around

with my friends swiping left and right on theirs. This is now, and swiping

left and right doesn’t do anything; at the end of the day, you make your

own choice. Imagine plenty of years back, however, when your parents

were swiping left and right for you, and you not having a say on your

partner, whether you found them physically or mentally attractive, or if

they were the right person for you at all.

Now, we may see that as absurd, but back in the day, that was

normal. Arranged marriages were happening everywhere, whether you

were marrying for money, power, or land or just marrying someone in your

name or with a good name to have kids and continue your legacy. Dating

is a solo thing, but its surroundings ultimately influence it. For example,
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with the evolution of social media in society, dating has become more of

an online item nowadays; you call, you text, you facetime, and you may

even meet your partner explicitly through the internet. That is a new and

very present thing; people obviously didn’t have this kind of online dating

culture back then when social media wasn’t even a thing. Dating is weird;

I think we can all agree on that, but how it has changed over the years is

even more bizarre.

In ancient times, there was no such thing as dating. “Dating” began

as women entertaining the men presented to them since women’s needs

(or rights) were not really prioritized at the time. The woman’s family’s

main goal was finding who could maintain their daughter. Most importantly,

keep the family name proud. These times were all about money, power,

and status. Because of this, marriage arrangements were the social

standard, and love was not significant; dating wasn’t a thing. In the

beginning, dating was more in the man’s favor. They had more liberty,

could choose whoever they wanted and had fewer rules to abide by. Less

social standards and pressures that make them “marketable” to potential

partners. In a way, men still do have a few more liberties in the dating
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world than women do, it’s just not the same as it used to be, and it’s not

talked about as often.

As time passed, women started having more say in their

“relationships.” It was no longer a “must” that the family man chose their

partner for them. If a woman did not like the man they were being set up

with, they now had more of a chance of having a say in the final decision

on who their “forever partner” would be. Furthermore, men began to fight

over the women they wanted; thus, women had more choices.

During the 1600s, it was all about strategy. This was now the time to

care the most about money and power. People were no longer seeking

love; they were merely seeking partners. In fact, it was a piece of common

advice not to love your partner as much and to not use sweet or endearing

nicknames for them. Women could now choose their men, and money was

the main factor driving their decisions. Love, on the other hand, was more

of a second thought, something not of priority.

Dating became more exciting during the 1800s. While courting was

still the leading standard, a woman did not have to marry the first man

that courted her. Women began to have more fun with their dating
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experiences, and many started postponing marriage in their timelines. The

average age for getting married was fifteen or sixteen to early twenties.

The idea of having fun with dating started to become more accepted in

society.

The beginning of the 1900s was an adjustment period. People started

to accept the idea of dating for fun. Society is becoming more open-

minded, and personal happiness and excitement in a relationship outweigh

marrying for status or the sake of the family name. This was now a time

when a woman going out with a man did not mean she was a prostitute.

As an adjustment period, laws started to come up, and some things

became off-limits. However, with things being off-limits, they became even

more exciting. In these periods, young couples began to sneak around into

speakeasies carrying flasks of alcohol, which was illegal, to have fun. On

top of that, the number of people who had cars increased; therefore,

couples could have actual dates in private settings without restrictions.

With so much improvement, it was expected that, at some point, it

would take a bit of a step back; after all, it did. After World War II, people
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returned to traditional family views. The War pushed people back to solid,

steady relationships instead of meaningless dating flings. While men were

at war, they would make it known that they were in a relationship by

sending their partner home several gifts during their time abroad.

By the 1990s, individual freedom rose, and women’s rights took a

drastic turn. It was during this time that the concept of dating that we

currently know arose. Since women could now work, the man’s status

became less of a worry; It was no longer an absolute must that a man

maintains a woman since now she could maintain herself (if she wanted

to). In these times, women became more interested in their feelings and

learned to prioritize their wants and preferences. It was important if their

partner would contribute to their happiness and a happy family. Also, since

individual freedom rose in these times, if parents didn’t allow certain things

like being with someone, many would just start sneaking around instead

of completely cutting ties with said person.

Nowadays, we have so many things that were not seen in the past.

Four important things of the many that have changed throughout the years

are hookup culture, the “talking” stage, dating apps, and divorce. For those
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who do not know what these are, allow me to explain. Hookup culture is

essentially casual sexual encounters, like one-night stands, etcetera.

Basically, a no strings attached relationship. Although these may be fun to

some people, they can end in “situationships,” and those may easily (and

frequently do) end poorly. The “talking” stage is when you send the good

morning, good night, how are you, what are you doing, and I love you

messages twenty times a day but aren’t a thing. Some talking stages may

lead to adding the exclusivity part, which is basically a relationship without

the people in the relationship admitting they are in a relationship.

Although these have been significant changes, dating has been

drastically influenced by the evolution of social media in society. Social

media, right now, is the most common way to meet people. Whether it be

in a friendly type of way or in a romantic kind of way, this being said, dating

apps have become a huge game-changer. These are very random; you

may meet the love of your life through your phone, even if they live on the

other side of the world. It doesn’t matter where they are in the world, as

long as you have a phone with you. Some people may not be huge fans of

dating apps since they have a bad reputation, but 20% of current
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committed relationships began online, so one could say that they do work

to an extent.

Going in a seemingly completely different direction, divorce has

become way easier throughout the years. As society grew and developed,

divorce has become normalized and is no longer criticized as much as it

used to be. This year, the expected percentage of marriages ending in

divorce is 44.2%, which is almost half of all marriages. This demonstrates

that divorce is now a regular thing and is no longer seen as an end-of-the-

world situation. In the past, the mere thought of separating from your

married partner was seen as social suicide. But now, it’s an entirely normal

thing that happens to ordinary people, and it is not something people

(usually) criticize others for. At least the norm now is that people shouldn’t

be faulted for divorce; whether that actually happens or not is an entirely

different conversation.

Dating has always been a part of society, but it has undergone all

kinds of twists and turns. From marrying for money, having children to

continue the business, and arranged marriages in the same social class to
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online dating and hookup culture. With time and the evolution of social

media and society, this will only keep changing.

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Works Cited

Burr, Shelby. “The Evolution of Dating: We’ve Come a Long Way.”

Legacybox, 29 Dec. 2020, legacybox.com/blogs/analog/evolution-

dating.

Rahoumi, Tamara. “25 Ways Dating Has Changed in the Last 50 Years.”

Stacker, 7 Feb. 2020, stacker.com/stories/3907/25-ways-dating-

has-changed-last-50-years.

Lane, Korey. “How Dating Has Changed Through History.” The List, 2

Sept. 2021, www.thelist.com/162252/how-dating-has-changed-

through-history.

Ferguson, Donna. “How Online Dating Has Changed the Way We Fall in

Love.” The Guardian, 13 Feb. 2022,

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/feb/13/how-online-dating-

has-changed-the-way-we-fall-in-love.

Eharmony Editorial Team. “10 Online Dating Statistics You Should Know.”

Eharmony, 7 Sept. 2021, www.eharmony.com/online-dating-

statistics.

Olito, Frank. “How The Divorce Rate Has Changed Over the Last 150

Years.” Insider, 30 Jan. 2019, www.insider.com/divorce-rate-

changes-over-time-2019-1.
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Mason, Miles. “Divorce Rates Statistics and Trends for 2022.” Miles Mason

Family Law Group, PLC, 24 Feb. 2022,

memphisdivorce.com/tennessee-divorce-law/divorce-rates-

statistics-and-trends-for-2022.