Reflective essay

Introduction
Interpersonal communication skill is a very crucial skill to have in almost any field of work and
in any walk of life. Interpersonal communication skill can help in making relationships better
through contributing in a meaningful communication. This reflective essay aims to reflect on my
experience in the 12-week course on interpersonal communication. In this essay, the learning I
had, the micro skills I learned and got to practice during the course like the skills of active
listening, reflecting the content and emotion, open and closed question and so on are reviewed.
Further, during the course period, I received feedbacks from my colleagues and instructor, which
helped me improve my communication skills. This reflecting essay will analyze how I used the
feedbacks in order to improve my skills of communication.
Body
During the 12-month course period, I got the opportunity of personality development through
learning and practicing different micro skills of interpersonal communication. I learned about
active listening. I had the idea that communication was about speaking, but I learned that
listening is more important in having a meaningful conversation. Plus, in order to have a
meaningful communication, it is important that the communicating parties listen attentively to
what other parties say. Listening should be with the purpose of understanding. If the purpose of
listening is just to decide what to speak, then that is not active listening and that certainly does
not fulfil the purpose of a good interpersonal communication. Likewise, I learned to reflect upon
the contents and feelings. In the interpersonal communication, it is very easy to misunderstand
and get misunderstood. Communication is not only about what you spoke and what you listened,
it is more about how you interpreted the message and how the other party interpreted the
message. If any of the party did not receive the message as intended by the speaker, then
miscommunication and misunderstanding exist. So, in order to avoid this, the micro skill of
reflecting on the feelings and content can be used. If you reflect on what the content and emotion
was of the speaker, then you can certainly make sure if you understood the message properly.
Another important skill that I got to learn about was the skill of open and closed questions. The
closed questions help to get response that is specific. Likewise, through an open question, one
can know other person’s opinion and feeling deeply. Another crucial aspect that I learned about
communication is the nonverbal communication. People communicate through slight nuances,
which is important to understand.
I got to learn how important each of these communication skills are. If one does not understand
the nonverbal communication, often times, it is easy to misunderstand the situation and the
message. People communicate through movement of head, eyes, facial expressions, tone and
pitch of voice, through the distance that they maintain, through movement of hand and so on.
They say action speaks louder than words, in fact the non verbals also speak louder than the
words. Thus, I learned about these different skills and tried to apply them in my daily life. In
addition to that I had an opportunity to apply that in a role play as well.
During the trimester, I learned about my communication style. I tried to relate the lessons from
the classes to my daily life to my communication style. I tried to see how I communicate, what
kind of gestures I use, to what extent do I use the nonverbal communication in the
communication that I make. Further I tried to see what are the things that make my
communication ineffective or what are the things that is making my communication better. I
learned through observation and reflection that, I often don’t listen attentively to the other
parties, which often give the impression that I am not interested in what they have to say. I don’t
listen actively, due to this, the other party does no t share properly what he or she is trying to
convey. I realized that instead of doing other things or thinking about other things in the
conversations I should in fact give full attention during a conversation and if I am doing
something, I can say that I will talk in a few moments. And then I can give my undivided
attention in that time. Doing this can improve my communication to a great extent.
I learned a great deal from the feedbacks of the instructors as well. During the roleplay, I had
found that I was not doing that well, it was challenging for me, so I asked my instructor and
peers regarding what could I work on. My instructor told me that I make the mistake of asking
open question most of the time, even when I want specific answers. It leads to listening the
comprehensive response from the other party and I end up not getting information about what I
need. Further, it can cause a waste of time, when I don’t have much time. Further, my peers
communicated to me that I often use less hand movements. I also realized that using more hand
gestures during the conversation can make my communication more effective. I can express
more things with the same number of words when I use gestures and hand movements. I took the
feedbacks positively as constructive feedback is what takes you forward and help to improve
yourself.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the course on interpersonal communication really changed my view towards what
communication means and how a meaningful communication happens. I learned about different
micro skills. I learned how to communicate and how not to communicate. I had difficulties
during the roleplay; however, it did give me opportunity to learn through feedback. My instructor
and peers gave me feedback on my need for use of non-verbal and usage of open questions. In
the days to come, I will certainly try to incorporate more of the nonverbal communication and
use closed questions to get specific response and try to keep improving my nonverbal
communication skills.