Life Wasted

I wake up on another morning

It's just like any other.
But what is it that I'm doing
That makes my life worth living?

I wake up every other morning

Only to do the same old things
Ecstasy and mist to distract myself from mourning
What it is that my life used to be

I used to wake up every single day

Excited for all the people I'd see
All the things I'd be experiencing
Smiling with a face full of glee

Now it's just all for naught

With my cheeks hit by a draught
I stand underneath a lamppost
With no clue how to cope

My life used to be worth living

And the best times were the simplest times
But everything drifted away
In the same way that white powder blows in the wind

Now I break my bathroom's mirror

Drive myself insane with the broken shards
And I head out once again
Wearing a disguise to hide from the world.

I turn again at the corner at Park Street

And follow directions I hate I know by heart
Meeting the same old people with the same issues as I
Knowing well we're all walking towards the same demise

I frequent my time with them anyway

Every night when living is too big a price to pay
For waiting until my life turns itself around
Unwilling to start the change myself

Every Sunday I sit at the old bridge

Where the water below knows of all my secrets
How I feel, what I've done, what I wish for
And also everything I've failed to accomplish

This place has experienced me at my worst

And even now it continues to shoulder my burdens
Every night I sit with my friend and look for a reason
Why I just shouldn't jump and leave it all

Everyone says I'm crazy

For confessing who my companion is
But this white powder is the only thing keeping me alive
Even if it's really slowly killing me inside.

In the end, I’ve lost it all

There’s nothing left for me
Or so did I use to think
Until a man approached me one night

Offered me indulgences and ecstasy

Told me to try it out, told me I’d feel liberated
And try I did, time and time again
Before I knew it, it became my waking desire

Disappointed everyone in my life

Wonder what my old friends think of me now
Thoughts and thoughts running through my head
By midnight they’ve all been washed off my mind

Until the morning comes once again

And I wake up in my room
Alas, it’s still a big mess
And I don’t remember when I last took care of myself

I go out and meet some new people

And all of them immediately look at me with pity
Some tell me to get help
And some offer to accompany me on my journey

But one thing no one ever realizes

Is that for years now, I knew I should’ve been changing
Going through many failed relationships and bonds
Simply because of all the problems by depression caused
Heartbroken because everyone always leaves me
I always had to give so much
But only for the small price of cash
I could buy something which could distract me from it all

Depression and anxiety coursing through my body

I say it’s too much, but it’s been years now
I know what I have to do
But the substances have ruined me to the point of no return

And every single sunday I sit on the old bridge

All alone, looking for my will to live
Fighting and battling every urge in my body
Not to turn that familiar corner at Park Street

Every day I'm searching for a reason to go on

But the feeling of drugs in my system calls me back
I know I just need to turn my back
And leave all of those addictions in the past

I've been trying to find some help

To ease the minds of my concerned friends
But little do they know that all these years I've been trying my hardest
With nothing at all to show for it

I pray to God He can lend me strength

And time and patience and faith
Feeling hopeless I'll never make it
But deep inside I know I should stop this

So I wake up one morning

Desperate to turn away from these bad habits
And so I kneel at the edge of my bed and pray
For the strength to turn down the drugs that have wasted my life