LISTENING SKILLS

and MOTIVATION

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Listening vs. Hearing

Listening = Hearing + Comprehension

Listen, instead of thinking about what
you‟re going to say next

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Active Listening

Listening is HARD work

We speak at the rate of 200 words per
minute, yet our brain can process the
information received by listening at a rate
of 600 words per minute.
Since we think too fast to keep pace, there
is a tendency for our minds to wander and
to fill the gap (400 wpm) with unrelated
thoughts.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Active Listening

 Good COMMUNICATORS not only

inform their audience—they LISTEN
ACTIVELY
 Active listening with a purpose is used
to gain information, to determine how
another person feels and to better
understand others.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Traits of ACTIVE Listeners

 Spend MORE time listening than talking,

unless as a presenter, where you will be
doing most of the talking.
 Do NOT finish the sentence of others
 Do NOT answer questions with
questions.
 Aware of biases: we all have them, need
to control them.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
Traits of ACTIVE Listeners (cont’d)

 Never daydream or become pre-occupied with

your own thoughts when others talk.
 Let the speaker talk, do NOT dominate the
conversation
 Plan responses AFTER others have finished
speaking: NOT while they are speaking;
concentrate on speaker NOT on what you are
going to respond with.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
Traits of ACTIVE Listeners (cont’d)

 Provide feedback, but do NOT interrupt

continuously
 Keep the conversation on what the
speaker/presenter says, NOT on what
interests them
 Listening can be one of our most
POWERFUL communication tools if used!
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Research shows that…
75% of our working day is spent on 1 of
the 4 types of communication:
Listening: 42%
Talking: 32%
Reading: 15%
Writing: 11%
TOTAL: 100%
Dr. Suzy Raouf
When we fail to Actively Listen..

We have LESS information for

making GOOD decisions.

Dr. Suzy Raouf

Questions & Active Listening

 Are used in Active Listening

 For better Feedback

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Questioning Techniques

Direct/Structured/Closed Questions
Indirect/Unstructured/Open Questions
Probing Questions: Used to obtain more
information or different explanation of
something which has already been
discussed.

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Close-Ended Questions
They are used:
To get a yes/no answer
Specific answer
Are very DIRECT and may cause person to
be Defensive and feel Threatened.
Best to follow it by WHY? HOW?

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Open-Ended Questions

They are used:

To get more information
To encourage the person to respond
more fully
Use by starting the question with:
What, Why, How, When, Where, Who,
Tell Me, Describe
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Probing Questions
They are used:
to help prevent misunderstanding
to show interest in the other person‟s
comments
to ensure that comments made previously
have been properly understood, e.g. “Did
you say that this training course would be
of interest to you if you could get it for
L.E. 1,000 instead of L.E. 1,500?”
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Leading Questions
They encourage the respondent to agree with the
questioner and should be avoided unless it is
intended to maneuver the other person into giving a
certain answer.
“Surely you would not want that to happen to
you?”
“Surely you would want to attend our Academy?”
“No doubt you fully understand what I am
offering you today?”
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Alternative Choice Questions
The other person is given a number of definite
options from which to choose. Be careful
because they can ensure that a definite
commitment has been agreed without too much
pressure on that person.
“When do you think the completed application
will be ready for me to pick up?” (OPEN)
“Do you think the completed application will
be ready for me to pick up on Monday
afternoon or Tuesday morning?” (ALTERNATIVE)
Dr. Suzy Raouf
Summarizing & Communication

As the discussion progresses it can be

helpful if regular summaries are made of
matters discussed and decisions reached.
Summarizing helps to re-enforce what
has already been said.
Summarizing ensures that the discussions
remain relevant and that the objectives
are being achieved.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Barriers to Good Listening

„On-Off‟ Listening-This arises from the fact that we

think about four times as fast as the average person
speaks. Thus, the listening has 45 seconds in each
minute spare thinking time. Sometimes we use this
extra time to think of our own personal affairs,
concerns, or interests and troubles instead of listening.

„Red Flag‟ Listening-to some, words like 'should',

'must', 'unfaithful', 'police', 'discipline', 'school',
'management', etc., are signals to which there is an
automatic response. When this signal comes in we tune
out the speaker.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
Barriers to Good Listening (cont’d)

„Open Ears-Closed Mind‟ Listening- Quickly

deciding that either the subject or the speaker is
boring and what is said makes no sense--we jump to
conclusions that we can predict what he knows/will say
thus, we conclude, there is no reason to listen because
we will hear nothing new.

Glassy-Eyed‟ Listening- Looking at a person intently,

almost seeming to be listening, but our minds are on
other things. We become in the comfort of our
thoughts. We get glassy-eyed and dreamy expression
appears on our face—the same when people do it to us--
we are not fooling anyone.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
Barriers to Good Listening (cont’d)

„Too-Deep-for-Me‟ Listening-Listening to ideas that

are too complex and complicated and there is a danger
we will 'shut off'.

„Matter-Over-Mind‟ Listening-We do not like to

have points of view/biases overturned. We do not like
to have our opinions and judgements challenged.
Consequently, when a speaker says something that
clashes with what we think, believe, then we may
unconsciously stop listening or even become defensive
and plan a counterattack.

Dr. Suzy Raouf

Barriers to Good Listening (cont’d)

Being „Subject-Centered‟ vs. „Speaker-Centered‟-

When we concentrate on the problem and not the
person. Detail and fact about an incident become more
important than what people are saying about themselves.

Fact Listening-Often as we listen to people we try to

remember the facts and repeat them over and over
again to remember them. As we do this, frequently the
speaker has gone on to new facts and we lose them in
the process.

Dr.Suzy Raouf
Barriers to Good Listening (cont’d)

„Pencil‟ Listening-Trying to put down on paper

everything the speaker says - we are bound to lose some
of it because the speaker's words come out faster than
we can write them down. Eye contact also becomes more
difficult.

„Distractions‟ to Listening-Sometimes there are

many distractions when we listen - noise, movement of
people, too hot/too cold, or other matters for our
attention.

Dr. Suzy Raouf

Behaviors to be a Better Listener

Empathize with the speaker (nodding

head/seeing their point of view)
Concentrate on what the speaker is
saying
Show that you want to listen (make eye
contact)
Remove distractions (shuffling papers,
reading e-mails, mobiles)

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 EMPATHETIC Means to…

Dr. Suzy Raouf

Behaviors to be a Better Listener
(cont’d)

Be patient (Don‟t interrupt)

Control your emotions
Go easy on argument and criticism
Ask questions
Listen for clues (non-verbal)

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Non-Verbal Communication:
Body Language
Research has shown that a listener's understanding and
judgement of a spoken message comes from:

The Words That Are Used (Verbal) 7%

The Way Something Is Said (The Tone) 38%

The Non Verbal "Messages" (Body Language) 55%

100%

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Contrast of Properties

Verbal Channel Non-Verbal Channel

Words Body Language
Conscious Voice (Unconscious)
Descriptive of Emotion Actual Emotion
Logical Intuitive
Formal Informal
Truth Content Can be Truth Content
Manipulated Reliable
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Components of Body Language

 Posture and Gestures

 Proximity
 Eye Contact
 Look and Appearance
 Positioning Expressions
 Emotions: Particularly Facial Expressions
Positive Body Language INCREASES Confidence

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Seen vs. Unseen

Seen Behavior

Thoughts
Motives
Attitudes
Feelings

Unseen

Dr. Suzy Raouf

Action Speaks Louder Than Words

 Behavior = Everything you SAY and DO

 Behavior = Verbal + Non Verbal
 So, your non-verbal (Body Language)
MUST support your verbal (say the same
story) if you want people to be convinced
of what you are telling them.
 Otherwise they will disregard the verbal
and believe only the Body Language!

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Communication & Motivation

Communication plays a significant role in determining the level

of employee motivation. The effort will be REDUCED,

 If rewards are not made clear.

 If the criteria for determining & measuring

performance are ambiguous (unclear).
 If individuals are not relatively certain that
their effort will lead to satisfactory
performance.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
Communication & Employee Satisfaction

 The LESS the uncertainty, the greater the

satisfaction.
 Distortions & ambiguities INCREASE
uncertainty and have a NEGATIVE impact on
satisfaction.
 Extensive use of vertical, lateral, and informal
channels will increase communication flow,
reduce uncertainty, and improve group
performance & satisfaction.

Dr. Suzy Raouf

Communication/Motivation/ Satisfaction

 Whatever the sender‟s expectations,

the decoded message in the mind of
the receiver represents his or her
reality (his/her own perception).

 It is this “Reality” that will determine

performance, along with the
individual‟s level of motivation and his
degree of satisfaction.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
5 Common Activities for Companies to
Treat Communication Problems
Managers convey the Rationale underlying decisions:
Why is this occurring? How will it affect me?
Timeliness is Vital: Give people the facts as soon as
they become available. The cost of not communicating
in a timely manner is disaffection, anger, and loss of
trust.
Communicate continuously: particularly during
periods of change or crisis.
Link the Big picture with the Little picture.
Don’t dictate the way people should feel about the
news: “You‟re going to like the way that the
department is being restructured”.
Dr. Suzy Raouf
 Managers & Employees..

with good communication skills will

be much more effective than those
without the skills.
who have poor communication skills
can also have a detrimental effect
on human relationships.

Dr. Suzy Raouf

 Cross – Cultural Communication
4 rules to reduce misperceptions, misinterpretations & misevaluations
when communicating with people from a different culture:

 Assume differences until similarity is proven.

 Emphasize description rather than
interpretation or evaluation.
 Practice Empathy: put yourself in the recipient‟s
shoes.
 Treat your interpretations as a working
hypothesis: that needs further testing rather
than a certainty—don‟t assume!
Dr. Suzy Raouf