Bima Ali Bhaskara

13020117130050
Final Test Assignment

The Journey of Sexual Identity

In this poet Alan Ginsberg give us the picture of how it feels to be gay. He
started with maybe his favorite poet, Walt Whitman-who also known as gay in
his life. He starts with his thought of Whitman as he walking down in the side
street under the shadow. This picture can be defined as he always covers his
actual sexual identity from his society. As he walking down that street, he felt
headache, self-conscious looking at the full moon. The headache that he had
may be related with a lot of thinking about his condition. The full moon itself
stand as a symbolism of a coverage condition that needs to be released as
he can bear it no more. From many cultures the full moon always related with
something that affect human psychologic to release something that human
covers all the time. His self-conscious here show that he is fully aware of his
gay condition. In this first part of his poem, he already gives us a complete
picture of his feelings.
In his hungry fatigue here, that can be defined as he can’t resist his hunger of
truth of who he really is. The fatigue that came from tired of pretending to be
somebody that he never will be. He always shopping for images that means
he always pick and wear the perfect masks to cover his true identity, in order
to be accepted in society. As he went to the neon fruit supermarket that can
be defined as the society, he can’t stop thinking about Whitman enumerations
that symbolize something that he needs or looking for all this time.
The peaches and penumbras here stand for all the things that he always
wants all this time. The family shopping at night here defined as all normal
people in the society that pictured husband in the aisles, wives in avocado
and baby in tomatoes. All of this metaphor Ginsberg use to draw the feelings
that he had when he enters the fruit market of society. Here is another poet,
Garcia Lorca that holding a watermelon that he asked what is that for. In this
part of poetry, Ginsberg draw his feelings that he will never able to see
another sex as his orientation.
Later in the fruit supermarket, he saw his favorite poet, Whitman as childless-
of course he is remembering, his sexual orientation, lonely old grubber that
means in his old age he still in a great hunger or still feels empty when
another old people already felt full and satisfied of their life. Whitman poking
the cold meat here as a picture that he already late to fulfill his desire, aiming
the grocery boys here showing Whitman sexual orientation and the envy that
he felt when looking at those boys who still able to fulfill their desire without
worrying about time and their physical appearance
He hears Whitman asking questions about who killed the pork chops that
symbolize “people who forbid his condition”. The question about what price of
bananas here symbolize of “how much should i pay for the things that I want,
the freedom to express myself”, and question about are you my angel simply
defined as “are you my savior? Are you the one that I’ve been waiting for all
this time”? He wandered why Whitman-despite of his condition could made
such a wonderful works. When all that he could do only try to escape from the
social suspect by taking and wearing false identity.
We strode down an open corridors together trying artichokes, other frozen
delicacy and never pass the cashier. This sentence gives us picture of how
they wanted live their life. tasting and try to enjoy anything in this world
without have to pass the cashier or afterlife to pay all they did inside.
The doors close in an hour, yet they didn’t know what to do. They are running
out of time and still could do anything about it. They wonder what will they do
after this and what next for them. Their time of life running to an end. May be
this affect what they will do after this but they will never know. They caught in
the moment.
He remembered all their journey in the supermarket and felt absurd about it.
Deep down he actually knows that this is wrong and they shouldn’t do this
kind of journey. He wandered that will they start the journey again in the
empty streets, using shade of the trees to covers who they are actually.
Lights out in their life and they will be lonely again at the end. Will they still
hoping it is a different world that could accept them? Their silent cottage here
remains silent because they can’t speak and let their people in because they
aren’t fit in this world.
Whitman do live in the time when America couldn’t accept his true identity.
His journey does lead him into something that he isn’t. His boat disappears in
the black water of Lethe. He disappears in the society and come up with a
new identity as what the society accept.