43 A Thousand Years of Good Pra: Yers (2006) Yiyun Li “hes as Yiyun Li, grew up in Beij ‘who publis wp in Beijing and moved to the Us Fi has elise warring ecto concn hs story fo fi Me onsip and the different ways in which the generations adjust toa new culture , ow an academic ae USES OM a father] jentist, Mr. Shi tells people whe i et scientist, peop! en they ask about hi i . ante then ads, out of modesty, when people mare Me Si banal Ce n during a layover at Detroit, when he tried to explain to her his ae a ae, draw. ma wom : hen his English failed to help. “A rocket scientist!” the woman exclaimed, ed, for ures Wl janghing out loud. | : ple he meets in America, ey friendly, seem more so when they learn his fession, so he likes to repeat the words whenever possible. Five days into his visit at jis daughter's place, in this Midwest town, Mr. Shi has made quite a few acquaintances. Mothers with babies in strollers wave at him. An old couple, the husband in suit and the wife in skirt, show up in the park every morning at nine o'clock, her hand on his arm; they mppand aeet him, the husband always the one speaking, the wife smiling. A woman living inthe retirement home a block away comes to talk to him. She is seventy-seven, two years tissenior, and was originally from Iran. Despite the fact they both speak little English, they faeno problem understanding each other, and in no time they become friends. “America good country,” she says often. “Sons make rich money.” America is indeed a good country. Mr. Shi’s daughter works as a librarian in the East Asan department in the college library and earns more in a year than he made in twe “My daughter, she make lots of money, too.” » “Ilove America. Good country for everybody.” Aw "Yes, yes. A rocket scientist I am in China. But very poor. Rocket scientist, you Mr Shi says, his hands making a peak. “Ilove China. China a good country, very old,” the woman says. oie fAmerica is young country, like young people.” ] p¢aCeP © a 6 et know?” 399 Scanned with CamScannerysand Yen hot | aT A 4B country: i spca a NAPPY COUN py than old people,” Mr, Shi came people ate MOY He himself feels happier at his mye Br a conclus! s, t me wiot woman in front of him, Who lovey cat 5 happy; t00 4 ‘a i ; ne Bue of English. She switches to pp. “AQ y ru sometimes ie Shi finds it hard to speak Chinese (9 hye is Mite “ It ; ords. en or twenty minutes. He nod IS She ya Yih nglish Wor ¢ then, for ten OF WE rs IS and gp hog. ® aa tio Sea Fnuch of what she is Saying, but he fel me oe does not she feels listening to her. i on the sames0y took forward to the mornings when he sit ae Mr, Shi starts what he uses to address her, as he has never Park s ahi i ae Asked ho, Md her Meee that he does not imagine a woman of her age, o¢ et ang wears colors red a range and purple and yellow. She has anes would wea f ed a cplue-and-greet peacock. They clasp og Ee aarp, white elephant 2m of his daughter when she was a smal chs eng say tha roth aplastic butterfly hanging loose On her forheag i hrka ® fly erown. wt Tr Madam how much he misses the days when 5 fa a aac But he is sure, even before he starts, that he era ae eis never his habit to talk about the past oud Ry «aos when his daughter comes home, Mr. Shi has Pini cern ee ea Je 969 toned a Sap i the same fervor with which he studied mathematics and physics eeu Sf Madent, “Every man is born with more talents than he knows how om SY ner. “I would've never imagined taking up cooking, but here am, eters ates X© xP Syes, very impressive,” his daughter says. Egltayek ulahing, JY “nnd likewise”—Mr. Shi takes a quick glance at his daughter ie em happiness than we ever know. We have to train 9 elves to look [7 His daughter does not reply. Despite the/pride he takes in TPA wn a 1 for it, she eats little and eats out of duty-It worries him that she is not putting enough "enthusiasm into life as she should be. Of course, she has her reasons, newly divorcedafer yx seven years of marriage. His ex-son-in-law went back to Beijing permanelly fer ie divorce, Mr. Shi does not know what}led the boat of their torn toa ide \ rock,\put whatever the reason is, it must not be her fault)She is made fora good wifesal- kX y rae ind Kindhearted, dutiful and beautiful, a younger version of hermoibeWieai * daughter called to inform him of the divorce, Mr. Shi imagined herin incon pi, oo. and asked to come to America, to help her recover, She refused, and test lit, o _»? daily and pleading, spending a good solid month of his pension on ee iy © ,@ She finally agreed when he announced that his wish for hs seventyfith Apia aes Like allook at AmericafA lie it ‘a the lie turned out to bea good mom is i 4 a rocket ‘e y” _'Sworth taking a look at; more than)that, America makes him a ne P e . » Scientist, a good c v ‘onversationalist, a loving father, a happy man. in Nope? c Anat "400 i eh Scanned with CamScannerA Thousand ¥ ars of Good Pra ayers ger, Mr. Shi’s daughter either ret 2 ls to her bedre or dint 5 SaaLit room to rea aftfome at ate hours Ms. Shiasks to go out wither to secon ote foo magines that she Watches alone, but she refuses ina pohae meaty HF tothe ovis aly not healthy for a woman, especially a contemplative’ ss firm manner, cer ta! js 0 5 spend too much time alone] He starts to tal [pet ee about the part of her lite he is not wit Hig A ks. Fine, she Says tiredly. Not discouraged, he asks about gay? he females than males, how old they are, vy hav |. He asks what she eats for lunch and whether she eats af computer she uses, and what books she reads. He asks shout ha opie he believes she is out of contact with because of the shame ofthe asks about her plan for the future, hoping she understands the urpeney tion.[Women 1n their marriageable twenties and early thirties are like lychees Sinelis alpecn picked from the tree; each passing day makes them less fresh and less ‘able, and only too soon will they lose their value, and have to be gotten rid of at a a) Alle / hovsing hor Ha velue o% path 4 A woman a aby in pbk PM Gi knows enough not to mention the sale price. Still, he cannot help but lecture wast! Faitfulness of life. The more he talks, the more he is moved by his own patience. anit ghter, however, does not improve. She eats less and becomes quieter each day Hts di nally points out that she is not enjoying her life as she should, she says, “How iu get this conclusion? I’m enjoying my life allright.” ce that’s a lie, A happy person will never be so quiet!” she looks up from the bowl of rice. “Baba, you used to be very quiet, remember? Were youunhappy then?” ewer all oe : Mr Shi, not prepared for such directness from his daughter, is unable to reply. Heyaits for her to apologize and change the topic, as people with good manners do wien they realize they are embarrassing others with their questions, but she does not let fim fo, Her eyes behind her glasses, wide open and unrelenting, remind him of her in ryounger years. When she was four or five, she went after him every possible moment, , questions and demanding answers. The eyes remind him of her mother too; at one ein their marriage, she gazed at him with this questioning look, waiting for an answer id not have for her.) Hesighs. “Of course I’ve always been happy.” as her work of bout her colleagues, and, if they are married “There you go, Baba. We can be quiet and happy, can't we?” ‘Why not talk about your happiness with me?” Mr. Shi says. “Tell me more about ys ou didn’t talk much about your work either, remember? Even when I asked.” ‘Atocket scientist, you know how it was. My work was confidential.” “You didn’t talk much about anything,” his daughter says. "Shi opens his mouth but finds no words coming. After a long moment, he says, Tore now. I'm improving, no?” — Te” his daughter says. Scanned with CamScannerA Thous™ at you need t0 40. Talk More,” Mp. gy i says « That’ ger, howeveh is less enthusiastic, She “YS “Ang shter. His dates the apartment before hens ha erga ' ce and Ie chy ile ‘poring, Me. Shi OMSSES 10 Madam, May, ly rhe nest "happy thing to have,” Madam sayy 4th ty «paughte ee vt bibl ay Not ; 1h. A. (yenon) by o's divorced nl ro. a nods and starts to tall in Persian, Mg if Be ‘sg Mala ns A woman so boldly in love with the worl jee Mit Beek) ios unpleasantness, by her husband, or her S018 mg erm, fom MS prghtenod by hes talking and Iaughing, a ghey ber Be * ie his daughter, forty years younger, does not posses mngebia tha porate blouse with prints of purple monkeys ally the dy fo brah pears a scart with the same pattern (A gine Mig an laced. Shi tries to recall what he D She 2 ie gn ly displaced. Mr. Shi t ¢ knows hej) app history; With his limited knowledge, all he can co eel a te vv jucky woman. A lucky man he is, too, despite all the big that Maja Hiow extraordinary, Mr. Shi thinks, that Madam and fi, oy Sl ine different languages, have this opportunity to sit and talk jn Thea eet «In China we say, Xit ba shi ke tong chow.” Mr Shi says yi, me ie three hundred years of prayers to have the chance to cross ter eR iy, same boat, he thinks of explaining to Madam in English, but then, et ‘ between the languages? Madam would understand him, with or wines the itor awe get to meet an talk to each other—itmusthavetakenalp et us here,” he says in Chinese to Madam. fs Madam smiles in agreement. " “There's a reason for every relationship, that's what the s rents and children, friends and enemies, strangers you Bae ino ieee ree thousand years of prayers to place your head side by side wth yourledo'ni, pillow. For father and daughter? A thousand years, maybe. People do enliprs ither and daughter, that's for sure. But the daughter, she doesn't understand thie Sema thinking I'm a nuisance. She prefers I shut up because that'showse'skaveneches She doesn't understand that I didn't talk much with her mother and hr bea se rocket scientist back then. Everything was confidential. We worked allday axl erewsix came, the security guards came to collect all our notebooks ane scratch pa iS ‘ur names on the archive folders, and that was a day's work. Never allowed ole what we were doing. We were trained not to talk.” 5 . ; : i nas brensitie 908 Madam listens, both hands folding on her heart. Mr, Shi hasnt 50 aiid to a woman his age since his wife died; even when she was ali iro bs he this much to her. His eyes feel heavy, Imagine he's traveled hall a0 to make up for all the talks he denied her when she was ne at ae Uninterested in his words, Imagine Madam, a stranger WhO 028 citi Hanguage listens (o him with more understanding. Mr Shims head st 402 Scanned with CamScanneroa) A Thousand Years of Good Prayers 43 +t indulge himself in unhealthy emotions; he iS tal there's a reason for a bad relationship, DRE “Of Course, rousand years for the daughter” e shouldn a lightly nat ls and ave edly fore f ey ae omnly- She understands him, he knows, but he does not want to js solemn shappiness. He rubs his hands as if to get rid of the dust of ji t English. “Old stories are not exci ig.” s in his b «, and starts to tall donkeys on her head, bobbin . Mr. Shi listens, and she siniles all the ig up and down when she er she finishes talking. “In America, we can talk . “Llove America.” sy met this Iranian lady in the park- Have you at her sometime She’s so very optimistic. Youmay find her illuminating hnout looking up from her food. ee. ay si on?” his daughter asks wit nat 5 1 shisays. When his daughter makes nomove tohelP the conversation, yout ee experiencing & dark time.” : suid shed light on my life?” is afraid that if he explains you know sh How 4090" 5 moutl ¢ find an answer. He is h i: of him as a crazy old e time su‘ urd in a different light. He feels shter, some ares a language with but with whom he can no moment. After a Jong pause, he says. “You know, a woman shouldn’t ask ‘deferential and knows how to make people talk.” ‘od woman according to your standard.”) Cony astic, ignores her. “Your mother was 4 p, but canno iddenly seem abs so certainly I’m not a £0 {stm divorced, js daughter is unfairly sarc Mc Shi, thinking bi angle of a good woman. Ddshe succeed in making you talk?” his daught tbh are fiercer than he knows. aa ‘mother wouldn’t be so confrontational.” Pa 7 ba, first you accused me of being too quiet. I start to talk, and you are saying Tm ling in a wrong way.) Conf Tks er ae ingisnot only asking questions. Talking is you telling people how you feel about Baovtiog them to tell you how they feel about you.” i sink ic “ Bstese pee did you become a therapist?” Con et 5 sean Br ole sou saa best,” Mr. Shi says. “I need to know why you to know what went wrong and help you to find the right er asks, and her eyes, looking directly 403 Scanned with CamScanneryears oF Good Prayers <, housad A ve Youre MY daughter and I want yoy tobe - ext time "Phy person the fore, but how long di "x to fall WI grt ask You Peron 28° YoU plan : spaba, 1 did ‘s pa . ety a 1 recovers ‘ ands up, the legs of the chair scraping the ue ly for each other now,” Mr, Shi J dom door before he says more Mey Pa ier close’ by his daughter, the fried tofu cubes stufeg = ota ouctgor the collage of bamboo shoots, ed ql r Jaushter admires his cooking every evening, Pepper he only famil ses her bedr' daugh' are barely t shrimps, a Stow though his (a joes not know the cooking has become his pra, hale By So; she Praying. ang ens he in her pra prayers unanswered - . S i've done a better job of cheering the daughter up” ‘ Teale He feels more at ease speaking to her in Chine fH the mech other. Wasn't that I was not close t0 them, Hoved them dearly 1, They very. cope you were a rocket scientist. 1 worked hard during the day, and gry hiet hora thinking about my work. Everything was confidential so coud ako my ut aot Twas thinking about. But the wife, she was the most undersuny silat vronld, She knew I was so occupied with my work, and she wouldy’ mont maine find would’ let the daughter, either. I know now that it was nt heli fe yes should left my working self in the office. Iwas to young to understand ig daughter, she doesn't have anything to say to me.” te Truly it was his mistake, never establishing a habit of talking to his dug by then, he argues for himself—in his time, a man like him, among the fe choses yo fora grand cause, he had to bear more duties toward his work than his family Honma and sad, but honorable more than sad. At the dinner table that evening, Mr. Shi’s daughter informs him that shes funds Chinese-speaking travel agency that runs tours both on the East Coast andthe ss. *You'e here to take a look at America. I think it’s best you take a couple of tous winter comes.” ; “Are they expensive?” “Til pay, Baba. It’s what you wanted for your birthday, n02” : She is his daughter after all; she remembers his wish nnd she hoon it BAN she does not understand is that the America he wants to sees the cont "i happily married. He scoops vegetables and fish into her bowl, “You saysiin a gentle voice ‘So. ’'m going to call them tomorrow and book the tours, hs dave “You know, staying h for me, Tm an old 0 Mery gtod for ene Bete probably does more good But there’s not much to see here.” 8 101 Scanned with CamScannerA Thousand Years of Good Prayers 43 pot? This is the America I wanted to see. Don't worry. I have my friends here. ‘o much of a annoyance to you.” why be 10 : 90 prone rns belore his daughter replies. She picks up the phone and automatically HEP per bedroo™ He waits for the bang of the door. She never takes a call in front inte von with strangers (tying to sell her something on the phone. A few evenings aiked longer and talked in a hushed voice, he had to struggle not to put his ear of joor and listen. This evening, however, she seems to have a second thought, and pe bedroom door Ope. = ons to her speak English on the phone, her voice shriller than he has ever known tsp speaks fast and laughs often. He does not understand her words, but even {IOP does not understand her manner. Her voice, too sharp, too loud, too immodest, me unpleasant (© his ears that for a moment he feels as if he had accidentally caught a sour er naked body, a total stranger, not the daughter he knows p i . at her when she comes out of the room. She puts the receiver back, and sits ihe table without saying anything. He watches her face for a moment, and asks, at 2 owas it On the phone?” frend.” .amale friend, or a female?” jmale.” waits for her to give further explanation, but she seems to have no such intention. ‘awhile, he says, “Is this man—is he a special friend?” pecial? Sure.” fow special is he?” mabe, maybe this'Il make you worry less about me—yes, he is a very special one. than a friend,” his daughter says. “A lover. Do you feel better now that you know isn't as miserable as you thought?” she American?” n American now, yes, but he came from Romania.” Atleast the man grew up in a communist country, Mr. Shi thinks, trying to be positive. {you know him well? Does he understand you—where you were from, and your ife—well? Remember, you can’t make the same mistakes twice. You have to be really ‘ve known each other for along time.” yt ‘Along time? A month is not a long time!” (2 and half months at most, right? Listen, I know you are in pain, but a woman "ash, especially in your situation. Abandoned women—they make mistakes in daughter looks up. “Baba, my marriage wasn’t what you thought. I wasn’t 405 Scanned with CamScannerA Thousand Yea of Good Prayers Mr Shi looks at his daughter, her eye re him an S her to spa ¢ almost want \ he cannot stop her, “R, alkii a, nidoner, if You want to use the te But why?” ; Ms ba Things go wrong in a Marriage, ‘One night of being husband and w ‘ife in bed, n Yeats! How et. Thave a rig hand. Mr. Shi ‘ Bon “Our problem was I never talked enough fo “as hiding something from hiss bec hiding a lover from hi ‘tg daughter ignores hig Words, « Nanted to be quiet and alone m “You wer {lit do a 004 job bringing you unin Chine anew lover when sou ssa une riage.” talked, when YoU both knew there was polka Rot to talk.» Your mother . We were just quiet People.” v* ith my work, but fest I made the Mistake of being too Prcoccpial may derstand Lwas quiet because of my profession: feet: hi’s daughter Said, pity in her eyes. “You know it ist. Mama knew I knew Everybody knew’ 406 r Scanned with CamScanne!A Thousand Years of Good Prayers 43 along time. “I don't understand what you mean.” ares at his daughter for shi sty, Baba. You never talked about what you did at work. true, but othe iver without making Me nO Out yOu gut YOu glked about Yo" i i find Ome words to defend himself. but his lips oP yi tries 1° t , : i «ym sorry, Baba. | didn’t mean to hurt you.” to maintain his dignity. It is not hard to do so, disasters. “You didn’t hurt me. and tries life, rema' ined calm about ,” he says y “akes 1OnE breaths akes © for all bis 1 were of room, she says 4 s, and stands up. Before he aba, I'll book the tours for dam. He has asked his daugh- our of America. There'll still ic to talk to Madam one last time, If, He was not a rocket scientist. He had had ars out Of the thirty ciel eae he worked for three Years Or 7 about his work, Mr. Shi rehearses nted to share the pee Ce to remain a young man ; 7 scientist, such ipride and glory. You just wa forty-two years ago—was the girl working on fe Shi, Punchers they Were eitled back then, a profession :» advanced computers, Dut of all the things that have Ar ard puncher is what he misses most. His card puncher. ysaloud to the ar, and some name with a happy sapped one greets the ase aa says him with basket of aurumn ‘eaves, She picks up one and is wa speautiful,” she Say fits veins tothe tiniest branches {ir different shades of yellow reais he seen the world in such Sail; He tries to remember the lors he was more used to, but like a patient with his cataracts driht, appalling yet attractive, “T want {0 tell fts on the softened edges finds everything sharp and ; » Mr. Shi says, and Madam flashes an eager smile. Mr. Shi shil English, “1 was not a rocket scientist.” ‘Madam nods hard. Mr. Shi looks at her, and then looks away. “7 was not a rocket veins because of a woman. The only thing We Vid was talk. Nothing wrong with talking, jou would imagine, but no, talking between a married man and an unmarried girl was not ‘xcepted. That's how sad our time was ‘back then.” Yes, sad is the word, not crazy as young, | a to talk about that period. “One would always want to talk, even when not nt paspart of our training,” And talking, such a commonplace thing, but how people ape core talking ane arom five minutes of break in the office, and later slectennt in fae an talked the whole lunch break. They talked about their hope BRE young communist ey ey were taking part in, of building the first rocket . 407 something to YOu, bench, and says in Scanned with CamScannera 43 A Thousand Years of Good Prayers ‘Once you started talking, you talked more, ce and talking t0 your wife because you didn't have to hy and more. twas ay fer ide anything. yye/M! th lives of course. Talking is like riding with an unreined a 'aN Boi, and you don't have to think about it. That's what our talking was like, by an affair as they said. We were never in love" My Sk Says, and then, Tihs is confused by his own words. What kind of love is he talking abouty g, 2 SPO mon t”® love, not the love they were suspected of having he always kept a ron they wy, hands never touched. But @ love in which they talked freely, a love pe ist, tre rast it lve, too? Wasn't it how his daughise ended her mary all the talking with another man? Mr, Shi shi the cool breeze of October. He insisted th having an criticism. He refused because he believed he Was wronged, «7 O° trang stat thirty-two, Never was 1 involved 4 4 I sto Ate esearch after thay, pore bing « confidential so the w ‘fe didn't know,” at work was the previous night, He was assi with his Notes p.399 ring a journey P-399 stroller -pushschaie baby » 400 barrettes-hait slides P401 Iychees- tropical fruit layover ~ rest dur A ~ Scanned with CamScanner