44 Mrs Mahmood (2007) Segun A folabj phe ‘Nigerian writer who has travelled and lived in the USA, Asia and Ei is ssistant in a sport sho urope, as well joo. shop assistant ina sports shop in London fils a burglar bu as Africa. In ea Manes erson narrative and a strong sense of place. “15 then foiled. Ths story has a ler bola Da jand [live above the route of an underground line. We had saa in so it came as a shock the first time the 6.25 rum fal thought it might bean earthquake, I knew exactly what it was, My hoot seus a sometimes [lie awake at night waiting for another train to pass so that Lear rnié asleep; Lind it comforting somehow. The regularity, the mild vibrations, the dim, distant) | of carriages carrying other people elsewhere. I couldn't live in a quiet place nay] "ls = Tolerance for tranquillity has gone. —— OH ell n't been told this before bled beneath our heads. My tolera oe . inthe sports shop where I work it’s noisy too; it can quite often seem overwhelming, Weare not large area-wise but we have a high concentration of stock. Also, being neat - theuniversity isa boon during term time. It gets busy, and I prefer that to sparse custom. What happened the other week should not have come asa surprise. Deidra was serving» nthe cash till. I was balanced on a ladder, rehanging the tracksuit bottoms, smoothing them down where people had thrown them back haphazardly. Cedric was serving a boy af about thirteen, helping him choose a pair of running shoes. Nike. Size nine. is naed Ishfted the ladder to another section of the shop. I think a clean, immaculate coreegaed pyicter istheessence of a caring, responsible enterprise. It sends out a message beyond the doors:|,» Sina, Bpsfenoeand Understanding you wil find here, That's what believe in. Understanding... MswiatIstrive for, Unwilling 7 Sty od sick Lin comand 2 pjemtelf sds They do not like me doing this, the other staff, the rinse and interference of it.I think jo6) 4. thywouldpreferme out the back taking care of the accounts, harrying suppliers, rushing wala innew stock. I don’t know this for certain. I'ain’ the manager, I should have mentioned. Perhaps it puts them on edge, as if I am constantly watching, scrutinising. But that isn’t ‘priority. I'm just particular about order, things running in straight lines. Dust t doing aring act. Perhaps I get this from my wife. “7 Doperclr! om “hile 409 Scanned with CamScannerid oe iad tention to what was happen; ar a ng in th paying particula 1 doing the mundane tasks, That shop, das pil ern jong-term plans. The boy with te ‘Lea Tee eR ae icon improve testing out the shoes. He walked g few nee cone the SHOP HOOT times I'll Ook af the 2606 v0 go et aroned up o i He ssne seemed to soar like a gaze I, He ait sora for great tins Yow, stood up again and made his way hack wae on he crouched d “someone who really knows what he wants. Som, in a customer $" nesses and isn’t afraid to do so in the setting ee strengths and a They'll wear a pair of shoes, stand y es 7 the sh, peor A these. They might look flushed, a little shee, ish, Wn, say, YES ve Pi “putout a member of staff Often I willwart ey Ask them to walk S round a bit, So and pate SaY anything of meth i net inthe till after all : i" - 2a in cane c asked the boy some questions, went through the ug Hea Gate of fee what they might be used for. The boy looked down a eats abou ihe fe his feet around. He wore a slight grimace as if he couldn't quite make y fae sera was another boy then. 1 dont know where he appeared from, ber veel shopal along. He called fr assistance and Cedric moved to help hia ie to step dovin from the ladder, to assist, but then I did not. Hoctro Without a moment’ hesitation, the boy in the trainers wal not un orlook behind himself or suddenly tear off down the rae of ton chad been wearing his own shoes, walking out of his own house nae gees By the time 1 had reached the door, he was some way down Toteah mth Istarted to run. He glanced around, noticed me, and then he ‘began to sprit a ‘a pedestrian about, tacking thei Christmas shopping. Like ts tga gee le seem less brusque; they are more relaxed. The har, brtleciyedgethne ne ig of the day has worn down. ~~ _Reshaps itis odd to see an older man puffing down a stret, The cums wep sway of it, the heavy body bounding along. All I know is that ‘very few people were looking at the boy, but all eyes managed to fix on me, Paths cleared, People sa bck. Tay have been an alarming sight./-voyjont. 1 Gowayie al &y hi as ewe al Hs ‘When I was seventeen, I took a coach to Hastings. There were thirty of won bu. There was an athletics meeting between four or five schools and we al knew this casta ‘wasimportant. Gold medals in any event might lead to county representation, Oars instructor, Mr Mayers, paced the coach, dispensing pep talks, trying to sted our ay The track at the school in Hastings was new, better than anything We Cia het tied. This was a school where no one thought anything of fying brs! tran, Most of the other competitors had arrived before us The looked ns Professional, as we Straggled off the coach. My stomach erp toa Teould feel my tunch lurch. ghia shunted [pcreble 9 Ling, woring As the start drew near we poured onto the field, talking, ea theres Broup from another schoo! turned to look at us, then folded #8 © an inconvenient | | ! | | | 410 Scanned with CamScanner- 4 Mrs Mahmood 44 secret [had broken a string of county records for my age group thes Jo 2 picture had appeared in the local newspaper. And then there were eat, MY Pietgzette, I hung medals and certifietes on the walls at school. | in the own prowess. [make no apology for this, either now or the » mia ingredient of success. I could envisage my life stretching sr of adulation and accomplishment in equal measure - gs and it was clear we had serious competition. People ¥ idenly it seemed to me that the bar on the high too arduous. I felt tired in a way I had from running too hard. It was simply enced BOTs lip so quickly away. OWA tarp dint , Income rowatch ven you realise all the effort you've put in — all those early jgorous diet, the training, pushing yourself to the limit — amounts to a err would return the next year, invigorated Tconvinced myself of 11 en red up another pair af running shoes, never stepped ont? 4, Bi ine, Bul Tne ze Could ol Aide Gots, Gane op Hh Nhs ay) ao } was 00 r, My no 2 si as into the gam nut ying in the heats. Sud ve able, distances on the field jnsurmoryfore, Not from fatigue oF comes & ti up with him. He probably thought he ut I caught him all right. I could tell he back to the shop we met beginning to thin in the e boy ever guessed I would catch 1d dog giving up the chase. B He did not struggle. Halfway Jongside us. The air was jon tink th t ce me, an Ol coer rhe didn’t say a word. yere was a queue of traffic al eet of winter darkness. : * ‘ caught glimpse of the other boy lurking behind a pillar. I realised then he had been adevoy. Ieannot describe how I felt then. Cheated? Flummoxed? Enraged? All three? Cedric told him to take off the shoes. They were unsaleable now. The boy slipped jenoff nonchalantly, kicked them to one side. ‘Then he began to put on his own worn- fhe beginning; no one enters a shoe shop fotininers. I should have noted that from t tering decrepit shoes. I've noticed that. The boy sat there, saturnine, bored, as if this Hj every other day. When I said I would call the police, his expression did not hu: I don't know what I was expecting. Remorse? Something, anything to let me lay he had registered regret. But that did not happen. Not after my threat to resort to flav or my rising tone of voice or Cedric’s more temperate approach. The boy’s face Hatexresed contempt, Avi-/Aes/S +h Ai he erptcltcl Has - pUparad fr Youcouldsay Host my temper. l could feel suppressed rage seeping from my chest, like eed Traised my hand, then slowly brought it down again and scratched Es ss neck. I was ready to strike out. The boy didn’t even cringe. He showed no whatsoever. don’ lke to see that in children, coldness, valves already shut off, a! exactly what he expected. Quite possibly he had been struck before. No Sioa 4 tthe we haven't any children, Tsobel and I. I ean’t abide surly behaviour. abure oa rt of person who could so easily lose control. Shain eee: Deidra led me back to the office, like an invalid. When boys mother was eee the knuckles doing some kind of dance. In the end ee ted. She apologised, even paid for the shoes, and thanked ° wd - obi actions - Somtans woos abe Mab of bud ha coehe't 41 ' Scanned with CamScanner, nt. VIG Uf Mes. | rn Ltd Y AD Vance y a { Ma Mahmood . 44 ve, That’ 3 pot alerting the Od That’s what Cedrig Old me the stall FOr eching I often ae the That's 201s permarket, bought sea bass, mineral wag %, drove 0 ue sured home before Isobel and T wanteg 10 sun boty a 4 For once Fd th my hands, t0 keep myself cupie:f Pie ty 1 something to ve and started on that. Isobel doesn’t ‘ta thee, sere ee sen, her feasoning, and she likes gait Me ] Spey her Jude nospital, not that it would her min Week 4 fmpuirs Ne children’s hospitals no” make any diner ce “a! Jortotist joor shut. Then the music was turned down so Metene i rea) 4 door s : ‘ ? qheard the ‘a up!’ [shouted from the kitchen. I was stil si tag a ee eal ¥P of wine in one hand, a bowl of steamy rete jiving ann by the stereo, wearing her long beige cog tenet , She wat Javed the bow! about so that steam plumed intg I, her tap G shoulde® 3 ature, She took one good look at me. ‘What's roa a Tvs * srcaged and sauntered back into the kitchen. ‘Time to cat!’ | e shrug , ! a Isobel’s work with the children ee Bets to see a side tah [ : ‘ ith me that isn’t appropriate 4 es she strikes a tone will 'PPropriate, ‘N, am oe sori ell meall about i.” Her hands held gently together, herp Pics tec she would like children of our own, but me, 'm notso supe 4 { explained what had happened during the day. The shoes march ! the high-street chase, how I'd wanted to lash out. Thave always thant Ot particular kind of man, the kind that could never strike achid, Nenos™ay that’s all over now. MALY What. s Isobel made a few cooing noises. I didn’t know what she meant. She, and walked into the kitchen. She was wearing a batik ‘wraparound ihe ate 4 swirled in yoghurt, a white T-shirt and an oversized tan cardigan, Youemudane Ss is stunning and you would not be exaggerating, I could hear the hot tp ee vi filling up with suds. When she returned, I was in the middle of pourngtte ls! tena 7 ‘Well, Mr Mahmood,’ she shrugged, but she didn't sound upset. Thefts mea, fb! you just have to get used to. I thought you'd be used to it by now?’ on “Theft?” I repeated. ‘I'm not worried about that? even though Talvajs bebe) Texplained again about the insolent boy. I thought she might be shocked, set ‘Oh that! That's nothing new, she said. ‘I've sometimes wanted to hit out, you knox) You can’t help that.” e I nibbled the edge of my glass. + ___‘Itsonly natural to feel anger at that kind of behaviour, she continued, Theyiedog itfor a reason, though. You have to remember that.” ‘tive I wasn't quite sure how to take this, the ease with which she'd said it.I ood a4 a. the table swam before me. 1 was a bit drunk— Iam not often that way—IsimPb SW; sete down Unlaced the rest of the erockery into Isobel’ foamy sink MYM 8° “hing already from the mid-afternoon sprint. » jumhaq =pnelife Ge 9 opabeoRaa tals = att jude pred Soak a dowd ate nanbsts Aasrall gl ’ v ot ee ( i ‘i Scanned with CamScanner_. cked up the cap keys : i em off me ang sig! ang, a decided to visit the hi Eetallen drizzle and ay ise Bred to Teave the warmth op Die cehtre of town to | Bed vant tome e simply have og Un “US go ill in on thing. '0 20 theres a ‘Yes! I sald, agreeing to uickly. 7 gay, 8 ind leaned up against the doo, y a Isobel, I think, was leq, frequent trips aroung me. It must have com, her towards, 2 sud hanging the m; rcs hat Mr Hi tous Young loy, Perhaps it w: ket down, so shi My mother us you did in this oI Cl the World. T do, © 8S a surprig, denly find atital yo amilton © aS they oft, ‘as the mot} er, her in, © turned to Iso ed to say, wh, en she World as lon Tused to get BnDOYEM With Isobe Wor folher. Her distrusts er exactity If so I wanted “simply to let g Way she turned fj aa $4 0 People ey oh Pecause they 4 med to crowd the light Who and what she thought she ought tobe, There was fraught with ai hat’ passed What we were doing. But sree things in my lite [knee she after that, the exit. Quite often ra adeloupe, Martinique, New York City. i . All thar l0eS"'t mind the travellin, * All that b, lobe TO) “nl geography. Leamni Mision | OME said | was abruy Ser har oured a cold nat Pen led. Wh, ” she lay i ‘| Perhaps it comes from living fractured ee ts to livea different life, es a th a warm Pt with people, I cut them off, that undemeat ure, i ise,’ Oh Tag mand fen am I like this? Examples plea ML donre ey 'ughed. ‘All the time, really. In a way. 413 er Scanned with CamScanni44 Mrs Mahmood ie At the back of my mind I feared she Was thinking ab, Ut havin, hil she did not mention it. I think a part of What she was say ‘ing has an ildren, Rain, but n the city. L often strike a particular note With people andy can ig to do ih presente fr example, who come into the ob Sometimes | mat) Yh. ’ they are the most important encounter of my day. That wh \o attention, What they are happened in their day, their lives — there comes a point w) Fencthing that a mos ofthe taking, Theyre tallied out, ar ihe eh ore done > the bare bones, while-T know cverything that has happened to thee is the mini \" their day. Sometimes there will i ita signal to me that something more vi make me cold? “AREY might want something ie exchange i t —m ‘brant. And | know that there isn't any of that ay ia that afternoon, Someone came into the shop. Someone fans mer on my television screen, He wasn't shopping for himself, iM, most probably his son, Aoi make the sale, do all of that, He bought a pair of otal LNG the best, Tote. Te wast boy's choice, eis hey were warm people relaxed. I watched them from where I eer checking the stock. They smiled along with Deidra, The boy kept siagine fois, laughed out loud. A few customers sidled up for autograph Hei ae a cal tone. An Olympian, He hea a winner's smile. Yeuindil 9 hs C peed "9 AL one stage he Caught me looking and 1 tumed avay, I think I atthe paperwork M don't reme It weak. I fled into the office and sat staring lo the talki mber, I just fel hou ‘at the hospital sephone Isobel VO Balt a oul en none nS ae ind ‘ ‘Whe? she would say, “Which Olympics?” julyin ei oo ante iS ten sipped out ofthe bildng das ne Sa Le on " ‘a wn) of S2baviourin anyone eee yrs HA. anna = Tess rb ig AS cold outside but bright and still. People m sith tine A (ality of the new Year setting in. I walked to Charing Cross " Pack. But then Tie Kept moving. joao eee Along Whitehall a bus waited patient ering, Tstepped 02-1 When | “aught up with it and so, without ei Isste Pete ™2S going. Tjust wanted to g0 and go and go, 0 and go and 0 ie de eae i Ere Scanned with CamScannerOG OO TS thas Rage. i eee unk he Mrs M, s spless Feeling to know that no matter how harg Mahmod gy "4 js a helPI Su are never going to move faster the 4 YU run, hy Te jurself, Yo hen, when I wa Ster than this, overtage wCveT Much, ies d that then, when Iwas seventeen, Leo ertake the man in yoOU TAs coud nacing yan ion From at in life when you see Falied) AT emom the one you had plaan Ke always be an element of rem’ Sstiy Ntainer made its oe a ‘on, that there is a moment or a serien pair of shoes, walk in another direct yell you succeed in your pursuits, there wi Jone shuddered across the rivet, A refuse eo ene ede te ge. 1 goto! he next stop and cross ae sluggish pro, He pencatl Bere thers in the middle of the week, in theworgnd rope the Park. Ke surpried me 10 Se° FY to the field. There were some children at one end playa ater @ while and sliPP“ jund the perimeter slowly and I could hear their laughter The oe SU". {walked sjuoyant beneath me. There were signs ~ paint peeling sit woo res ee! warm ance the track torn out ~ of decay and neglect. The trees inthe dsuanoe neh ently. put I did not feel the breeze. Rfliclh hme da riylucted hor shiver ; 7 don't know why I behaved the way I did, that day in the shop with the thief. He had rdoto angry with me. As if / had been in the wrong. What if Cedric had not been looks would I have struck out? I would like to think not, but I'm not so certain now thereyimes I think I would take better care of my shop ~ the expensive shoes, the labelled Sorin, the sports equipment — than I would my own child, And I am blind with fear Ttook off my jacket, laid it down to one side of the field. I stretched my limbs slowly/’* ge deliberately, the way I had been taught, because at my age things can so easily go wrong. us [took up position and cast my eye to the end of the track. The children had stopped 4.5. what they were doing. They were quiet now. Watching. And then I was sailing, the wind tnfurling round my ears, the soft rubber track making me feel supple. As I neared the °) ““*% end of the straight I didn’t stop as I had intended, but instead, rounded the bend and ran ~ 5g ataslower pace back to the start. When I finished there was a faint applause and when 4-4... Hooked up, there were the children in the distance who must have been cheering me on. hadn't heard them. I had heard nothing except the wind and my quick heartbeat, my 57 ured breath. : eae Perhaps I have failed in my life, in my endeavours. Pethaps the meaning of it alas i Passed me by. I cannot say for certain that it has. I just don’t know. I cannot say that 0% i from now I will be lulled to sleep by underground trains. I could be somep! rom here. Sometimes I long for heat. ie . pared back the skin, «tt it came ri; es t clean out, ne right down to it, if I thought about it in my life is Isobel. she ti : EP esh and arrived at the bones, I realise the one certainty i Notes distsbel mon hs bun ome Ne wiht: 409 : is edom Pago rinse - slang meaning to do something many times to the Paints of bor Pg, “derground line - the London underground train ~ tube sys Pia jairtine - gloomy Bain Pattk - type of colourful fabric dyeing °rthoptist - kind of eye doctor o 415 Scanned with CamScanner