So good to see you

Part 1 - you

My mum calls me on the weekends. I am honest with her, I tell her I don’t really make an
effort to practice pronunciation but she understands.

I don’t know what I am more scared of: having to start the conversation with her, or her
wanting to start the conversation with me, although I’m adamant on finding out which now
leaves me in a permanent state of anxiety. I don’t know why I should commit to an odd job, to
a life, to some girl I met online, to my wretched train of thought or to the colour of my coat,
as everyone is wearing red these days. I’m not quite comfortable where I am currently, albeit I
am inclined to think I’ll stay here as long as possible.

Part 2 - I

I go to a lot of concerts and parties but never appear in the photos they put on Facebook
afterwards and I suspect this is because I am not conventionally attractive.

If you think Dark Souls is such a difficult game, then why the fuck do you keep playing it?

So here I am, irrationally and radically wishing you’d make me playlists so I’d have a good
excuse to make you one, and half the songs I’d put in it would be songs I know you know
already, and I would pretend to sing one of those songs to myself whenever I’m near you and
you would say “hey, I know that song, that’s a good song” so I could reply “yeah, I put it in
the playlist I made for you,” and you would say “holy shit, I am so in love with you because
of this” and I would feel good about myself for once. But that’s not how things usually go, is
it?

And I would say “it’s so good to see you,” and it would be exactly that.