Emotions 2

Concept of Flow
• When you’re giving your fullest attention to an
activity or task that you are incredibly passionate
about, singularly focused on, and totally
immersed in, you may find yourself creating the
conditions necessary to experience a flow state of
mind. The mind’s usual chatter begins to fade
away, placing us in a non-distracted zone. The
feelings that would consume you under normal
circumstances (inhibition, hunger, fatigue, or
aches and pains) melt away, and all that matters
is your dedication to your craft
• According to Csikszentmihalyi, “The best
moments in our lives are not the passive,
receptive, relaxing times… the best moments
usually occur if a person’s body or mind is
stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to
accomplish something difficult and
worthwhile.”
• To that end, engagement and
concentration are key in achieving flow state.
• Csikszentmihalyi investigated the
phenomenon of flow by interviewing
thousands of people from many different
walks of life – chess players, mountain
climbers, tennis players, ballet dancers,
surgeons, etc. He came to the conclusion that
flow is a universal experience, which has
several important characteristics:
• Clarity of goals and immediate feedback on the progress.
For example, in a competition you know what you’ve got to
achieve and you know exactly how well you are doing, i.e.
whether you are winning or losing.
• Complete concentration on what one is doing at the
present moment, with no room in one’s mind for any other
information.
• Actions and awareness are merged. A guitar player merges
with the instrument and becomes the music that he plays.
The activity becomes almost automatic, and the
involvement seems almost effortless (though far from being
so in reality).
• Losing awareness of oneself or self-consciousness is also a
common experience but, interestingly, after each flow
experience the sense of self is strengthened and a person
becomes more than he or she was before.
• Sense of control over what one is doing, with no worries
about failure.
• Transformation of time. Usually, time passes much faster
than expected. However, the reverse can also be true.
• Activities are intrinsically rewarding. This means they have
an end in themselves (you do something because you want
to), with any other end goal often being just an excuse.
 Role of mindfulness in flow states
• A mind that is trained to be more present and
at ease with itself — calmer, clearer, and
content — is more likely to experience the
flow state because we are training in non-
distraction and focus. “If we can learn how to
apply focus moment-to-moment, then we’ll
see that play out in our longer-term goals
• By definition, mindfulness is the quality of being
present and fully engaged with whatever you’re doing
in the moment — free from distractions or judgment,
and aware of thoughts and feelings without getting
caught up in them.
• By engaging in meditation, we are encouraging our
minds to become more present, actively creating
conditions that help us observe when we get
distracted, what gets us distracted, and then return to
the object of focus.
• A flow state of mind combines the two concepts. In
essence, flow state is a very active, moving meditation.
• Mindfulness involves ‘‘non-elaborative, non-judgmental,
present-centered awareness in which each thought,
feeling, or sensation that arises in the attentional field is
acknowledged and accepted as is’’ (Bishop et al., 2003, p.
31).
• Mindfulness is typically construed as a mental practice that
requires self-discipline and a commitment to trying to
maintain reflective awareness of each passing moment.
• In contrast, flow involves intense task concentration, a loss
of self-awareness, an altered sense of time, and merging of
activity and awareness (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990; Nakamura
& Csikszentmihalyi, 2009). Flow is an absorbing mental
state that arises spontaneously when one is engrossed
within optimally challenging activity
 Similarities
• Both are rewarding mental states in which
people are fully engaged in the present.
• Both are considered to be indicators of mental
health and optimal functioning
 Contrast
• Mindfulness involves cultivating an observer
of consciousness, trying to maintain reflective
awareness of each moment
• Mandukya Upanishad- 2 birds story

• Flow involves losing the inner observer within

an altered state of consciousness in which the
moment blurs into a continuous stream of
activity
• Happiness: happiness is used to denote
everything from a passing good mood to a
deeper sense of meaning in life
• Subjective well-being:refers to an answer to
this kind of question: “Taken all together, how
would you say things are these days—would
you say that you are very happy, pretty happy,
or not too happy?”
• Research is clear that there is a huge genetic
component in determining your “set point” for
subjective well-being, the baseline you always seem to
return to after events sway your mood

• The hedonic treadmill (also known as hedonic

adaptation) is a theory positing that people repeatedly
return to their baseline level of happiness, regardless
of what happens to them.

• Circumstances—the good and the bad that enter all of

our lives—could make up as little as 10 percent or as
much as 40 percent of your subjective well-being. Even
if circumstances play a big role, however, most scholars
think it doesn’t matter very much, because the effects
of circumstance never last very long.
• Studies have shown that our circumstances don’t
account for most of our happiness.
• Each person has a happiness set point, which
refers to one’s genetically determined
predisposition for happiness. This set point for
happiness is responsible for about 50% of the
differences in happiness from person to person.
• The theory of the hedonic treadmill states that
regardless of what happens to people, their levels
of happiness will eventually return to their
baselines.
• Take this theory with a classic example: say you
get married, move into a new house, get a
promotion, lose a job, suffer an accident, etc.,
over time, you’re likely to return to your set point
of happiness.
• There is an initial spike in happiness or sadness,
but as time goes on, the feeling of happiness or
sadness caused by an event starts to dissipate,
and habituation kicks in.
• After some time passes, you’ll be back at the
level of happiness at which you were before.
• Recent research shows that even if everyone
has a set point, it varies significantly from
person to person. Personality traits play a role
in someone’s happiness set point, and well-
being is moderately heritable. So, different
personality traits may predispose individuals
to different levels of well-being.
•
 Strengths and Virtues
• Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman
(2004) outlined numerous “character
strengths and virtues” they view as essential
to positive psychology.
• Several of them, such as curiosity, love, and
gratitude, are positively associated with long-
term life satisfaction (Park, Peterson, &
Seligman, 2004).
• Researchers have defined character strengths as
positive, trait-like capacities for thinking, feeling, and
behaving in ways that benefit oneself and others
(Niemiec, 2014a), and as a “family of positive
characteristics … each of which exists in degrees”
(Park & Peterson, 2009, p. 3).
• Character strengths are viewed as specific
psychological processes that define broader virtues,
which are core characteristics that have been identified
and valued by moral philosophers and religious
thinkers throughout time (Peterson & Seligman, 2004).
• There are 6 classes of virtues that are made
up of 24 character strengths:
• Wisdom and Knowledge
• Courage
• Humanity
• Justice
• Temperance
• Transcendence
• Martin Seligman and his colleagues studied
all major religions and philosophical
traditions and found that the same six virtues
(i.e. courage, humanity, justice, etc.) were
shared in virtually all cultures across three
millennia.
Wisdom—cognitive strengths that entail the acquisition and use of
knowledge
• - Creativity [originality, ingenuity]: Thinking of novel and productive
ways to conceptualize and do things; includes artistic achievement but is
not limited to it
• - Curiosity [interest, novelty-seeking, openness to experience]: Taking
an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and
topics fascinating; exploring and discovering
• - Judgment [open-mindedness; critical thinking]: Thinking things
through and examining them from all sides; not jumping to conclusions;
being able to change one's mind in light of evidence; weighing all evidence
fairly
• - Love of Learning: Mastering new skills, topics, and bodies of
knowledge, whether on one's own or formally; related to the strength of
curiosity but goes beyond it to describe the tendency to add systematically
to what one knows
• - Perspective [wisdom]: Being able to provide wise counsel to others;
having ways of looking at the world that make sense to oneself/others
Courage—emotional strengths that involve the exercise of will to
accomplish goals in the face of opposition, external or internal
– - Bravery [valor]: Not shrinking from threat, challenge, difficulty, or
pain; speaking up for what’s right even if there’s opposition; acting on
convictions even if unpopular; includes physical bravery but is not
limited to it
– - Perseverance [persistence, industriousness]: Finishing what one
starts; persevering in a course of action in spite of obstacles; “getting it
out the door”; taking pleasure in completing tasks
– - Honesty [authenticity, integrity]: Speaking the truth but more
broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere
way; being without pretense; taking responsibility for one's feelings
and actions
– - Zest [vitality, enthusiasm, vigor, energy]: Approaching life with
excitement and energy; not doing things halfway or halfheartedly;
living life as an adventure; feeling alive and activated
Humanity—interpersonal strengths that involve tending
and befriending others
– - Love (capacity to love and be loved): Valuing close
relations with others, in particular those in which sharing
and caring are reciprocated; being close to people
– - Kindness [generosity, nurturance, care, compassion,
altruistic love, "niceness"]: Doing favors and good deeds
for others; helping them; taking care of them
– - Social Intelligence [emotional intelligence, personal
intelligence]: Being aware of the motives/feelings of others
and oneself; knowing what to do to fit into different social
situations; knowing what makes other people tick
Justice—civic strengths that underlie healthy
community life
• - Teamwork [citizenship, social responsibility,
loyalty]: Working well as a member of a group or team;
being loyal to the group; doing one's share
• - Fairness: Treating all people the same according to
notions of fairness and justice; not letting feelings bias
decisions about others; giving everyone a fair chance
• - Leadership: Encouraging a group of which one is a
member to get things done and at the same time
maintain good relations within the group; organizing
group activities and seeing that they happen
• Temperance involves strengths that protect against excess.
• Forgiveness and Mercy: Forgiving those who have done wrong;
accepting others' shortcomings; giving people a second chance; not
being vengeful.
Modesty and Humility: Letting one's accomplishments speak for
themselves; not regarding oneself as more special than one is.
Prudence: Being careful about one's choices; not taking undue
risks; not saying or doing things that might later be regretted.
Self-Regulation (self-control): Regulating what one feels and does;
being disciplined; controlling one's appetites and emotions.
• Transcendence consists of strengths that forge connections to the universe and provide meaning.
• Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence (awe, wonder, elevation): Noticing and appreciating
beauty, excellence and/or skilled performance in various domains of life, from nature to art to
mathematics to science to everyday experience.
Gratitude: Being aware of and thankful for the good things that happen; taking time to express
thanks.
Hope (optimism, future-mindedness, future orientation): Expecting the best in the future and
working to achieve it; believing that a good future is something that can be brought about.
Humour (playfulness): Liking to laugh and tease; bringing smiles to other people; seeing the light
side; making (not necessarily telling) jokes.
Religiousness and Spirituality (faith, purpose): Having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose
and meaning of the universe; knowing where one fits within the lager scheme; having beliefs about
the meaning of life that shape conduct and provide comfort.
 Promoting strengths
• Select one of your highest strengths – one of your
character strengths that is core to who you are, is
easy for you to use, and gives you energy;

• Consider a new way to express the strength each

day;

• Express the strength in a new way each day for at

least 1 week.
• Applying curiosity in a new way? Below is a sample mapping of what you might do. Keep it simple.
Make it complex. It’s up to you!

• On Monday, take a new route home from work and explore your environment as you drive.
• On Tuesday, ask one of your co-workers a question you have not previously asked them.
• On Wednesday, try a new food for lunch – something that piques your curiosity to taste.
• On Thursday, call a family member and explore their feelings about a recent positive experience
they had.
• On Friday, take the stairs instead of the elevator and explore the environment as you do.
• On Saturday, as you do one household chore (e.g., washing the dishes, vacuuming), pay attention to
3 novel features of the activity while you do it. Example: Notice the whirring sound of the vacuum,
the accumulation of dust swirling around in the container, the warmth of the water as you wash the
dishes, the sensation of the weight of a single plate or cup, and so on.
• On Sunday, ask yourself 2 questions you want to explore about yourself – reflect or journal your
immediate responses.
• Next Monday….keep going!
• After you choose one of your signature strengths, consider the following 10 areas
to help jolt new ideas within you and stretch your approach to the strength.

• How might I express the character strength…

• At work
• In my closest relationship
• While I engage in a hobby
• When with my friends
• When with my parents or children
• When I am alone at home
• When I am on a team
• As the leader of a project or group
• While I am driving
• While I am eating
• Bringing in psychology
 Attraction
• Three major principles guide attraction and
relationship formation: proximity, similarity, and
reciprocity
• Proximity: Leon Festinger, Stanley Schachter,
and Kurt Back (1950) asked individuals living in
apartments for married students at the Massachusetts
Institute of Technology to name three of their closest
friends. Of these friends, 65 percent lived in the same
building, and 41 percent lived next door
• Similarity: Similarity greases the wheels of social
interaction for a few reasons.
• First, when people’s interests and attitudes
overlap, the foundation is paved for mutual
understanding.
• Second, we assume we’ll be readily accepted and
liked by others who see eye to eye with us.
• Third, people who share our likes and dislikes
provide validation for our views and help us
feel good about ourselves
E.g- online dating sites
• Reciprocity:For a relationship to move to
deeper levels, the third principle of
attraction—reciprocity, or the rule of give and
take—is often crucial. We tend to feel
obligated to give what we get and maintain
equity in a relationship.
 Sex difference in what we find
attractive: nature, nurture or both?
• Although physical attractiveness is important to both sexes when it comes to
choosing our romantic partners, it’s especially important to men (Buunk et al.,
2002; Feingold, 1992).
• David Buss (1989) conducted a comprehensive survey of mate preferences among
heterosexuals in 37 cultures across six continents, with countries as diverse as
Canada, Spain, Finland, Greece, Bulgaria, Venezuela, Iran, Japan, and South Africa.
• Although he found that the importance people attach to physical attractiveness
varies across cultures, men consistently place more weight on looks in women
than women do in men. Men also prefer women who are somewhat younger than
they are.
• Conversely, Buss found that women tend to place more emphasis than do men on
having a partner with a high level of financial resources. In contrast to men,
women prefer partners who are somewhat older than they are.
• Still, men and women value most of the same things. Both sexes put a premium on
having a partner who’s intelligent, dependable, and kind (Buss, 1994)
• Evolutionary theory of attraction: Evolutionary
psychologists contend, men are on the lookout for cues
of potential health and fertility such as physical
attractiveness and youth. Women, in contrast, have to
bear the consequences of the meting union and so
they must be choosy. Women tend to pursue a mating
strategy that maximizes the chances that the man
with whom they mate will provide well for their
offspring. Hence, women prefer men who are well off
monetarily and a bit more experienced in the ways of
life (Buunk et al., 2002).
• Social role theory: Because men tend to be bigger and stronger compared with
women, they’ve more often ended up playing the roles of hunter, food provider,
and warrior. Moreover, because men don’t bear children, they have considerable
opportunities to pursue high-status positions. In contrast, because women bear
children, they’ve more often ended up playing the role of child care provider and
have been more limited in pursuing high-status positions. Some of these
differences in traditional roles may help to explain men’s and women’s
different mate preferences. For example, because women have typically held
fewer high status positions than men have, they may have preferred men who are
dependable financial providers (Eagly et al., 2004).
• Consistent with social role theory, men and women have become more similar in
their mate preferences over the past half century (Buss et al., 2001), perhaps
reflecting the increasing social opportunities for women across that time period.
So although nature may channel men and women into somewhat different roles
and therefore different mate preferences, nurture may shape these roles and
preferences in significant ways.
• Which person are we more likely to find
attractive: (a) someone who’s exotic, unusual,
or distinctive in some way or (b) someone
who’s just plain average?

• If you’re like most people, you’d assume (a)

• Judith Langlois and Lori Roggman (1990)
showed, being average has its pluses. These
researchers found that people generally prefer
faces that are most average. In their study,
people preferred average faces a whopping 96
percent of the time.
• Evolutionary psychologists have speculated that
“averageness” in a face tends to reflect an absence of
genetic mutations, serious diseases, and other
abnormalities. As a consequence, we could be drawn
to people with such faces, as they’re often better
“genetic catches.”
• Perhaps we find average stimuli to be more familiar
and easier to process mentally, because they reflect
stimuli we’ve seen before many times (Gangestad &
Scheyd, 2005).
 Love
• According to Elaine Hatfield and Richard Rapson
(1996), there are two major types of love:
passionate and companionate.
• Passionate love is marked by a powerful, even
overwhelming, longing for one’s partner.
• Companionate love is marked by a sense of deep
friendship and fondness for one’s partner
• Robert Sternberg believes that the “two types of
love” model is too simple. In his triangular theory
of love, Sternberg (1986, 1988a) proposed three
major elements of love: (1) intimacy (“I feel really
close to this person”), (2) passion (“I’m crazy
about this person”), and (3) commitment (“I
really want to stay with this person”). These
elements combine to form seven varieties of love
• Robert Sternberg (2003a) developed a theory
of hate, with hatred consisting of three
elements:
1. Negation of intimacy (“I would never want
to get close to these people”)
2. Passion (“I absolutely and positively despise
these people.”)
3. Commitment (“I’m determined to stop or
harm these people.”)
• Distancing or denial of intimacy in hatred leads
to repulsion and aversion to the other. Intimacy
seeks a connection with the other. Its denial
seeks detachment. We need to distance ourselves
from the other to repudiate them. This repulsion
may arise from certain characteristics of the
person (racial, religious) or actions (treachery,
deceit), or propaganda extolling certain
characteristics or actions and thus turning the
other into sub human or inhuman.
• Passion in hatred can arouse feelings of anger
and fear. This fear or anger is manifested
intensely like a response to a threat. It appears
as an immediate response to avoid a
perceived threat.
• Commitment in hatred is characterized by
ideas of devaluation and reduction of the
human characteristics of an individual or
group. The goal of those who promote hatred
of the other is precisely to get their group to
perceive the other as sub human and to
devalue him or her
• For Sternberg, the key to fueling hate is
propaganda. Groups and governments that
“teach” hatred of other groups are experts at
portraying these groups as evil and worthy of
disdain.
• Hate can assume extreme forms or a variety of
less violent but still pernicious forms in
everyday life, including extreme forms of
racism, sexism, homophobia, and occasionally
even excessive political partisanship.

• Social media and hate