Dear Mr. / Mrs.

Claus

I quit! All I am ever presented with is terrible working conditions and also terrible work

itself. I also have to cope with living and working in a giant disgusting igloo filled with the

grumpiest, smelliest, most awful elves in the entire north and south pole, secondly every

day is the same: get a list of toys to make, spend four hours making them, start lunch,

get beaten up by some of the other, larger elves, finish dinner, get another list, spend

another three hours making those toys, start dinner, get spat or trodden on by an old

groggy elf, finish dinner have only five hours of sleep, repeat until you die, we don’t

even get holidays off!(Especially Christmas.) Since this is the fifth letter I have sent so

far and you have in no ways changed anything. I am fed up with this injustice I am

resigning.

I plan to find myself a new toyshop to work in, somewhere that isn’t decrepit

and filled with ghastly bullies of co-workers. Someplace nice and cozy, where they don’t

pay you in cookies. If their aren’t any other elf friendly businesses on the planet I should

be able to found my own ptarmigan farm to retire to. At least the ptarmigans won’t beat

me up. With my acquired talents at building learned from my former job I should be able

to build myself a hut and a suitable pen for animals as plucky and particular as

ptarmigans. I will make a living by selling meat and eggs. With two possible future

career paths in store for me I plan to live happily for the rest of my long elf life. Away

from the confusion and hubbub of modern human (or elf society) which you have
“helpfully” provided.

I continue to understand that your christmas scheme makes children happy and and all,

I want that too, but not at my expense. Me, I want a job thatdoesn’t keep me away from

my family for years on end. We elves have feelings too, Santa. So, as well as following

through with my previously discussed career path I have also decided to visit them for

awhile.

I have also decided that I am never coming back

until you shape up your work ethic and your treatment of others along with all of the

issues previously discussed. I really like and understand your motives but the way that

you make it happen is cruel and unusual for any honest corporation’s standards. I am

writing for all other sensible and intelligent elves (unlike Daryll). I hope that you

understand my reasons for this change in plans of career paths. So because of your

slave like treatment of your workers, terrible working conditions, and most importantly

lukewarm “hot” chocolate I have decided to part with your current enterprise until major

changes are made.

Sincerely, Pepper McMint