Opening Up and Making Room For Feelings

Learning to open up and make room for feelings is a skill that takes practice. And like any skill, the more
you practice, the better. Start with all those little moments throughout the day when you’re a bit anxious
or sad or irritable—not having a full-blown emotional storm, but just a bit worked up, mildly stressed.
Practice regularly on those to build up your “psychological muscles,” and then work up, over time, to
those really intense emotions. The ideal plan would be to practice at least one long “making room”
exercise, at least once a day. But also fit in as many short versions as you can, at times when you’re a bit
stressed or wound up.

Feel free to use this audio recording to guide you:

Making Room For Painful Feelings - Audio MP3 by Russ Harris

NAME Your Feelings

N - Notice & name.
(Notice and name what’s happening in your body: Where are the sensations? What are they like?
What do you call this feeling?)

A - Allow
(Give your feeling permission to be there; ‘let it be’.)

M - Make room
(Open up to this feeling, and let it freely flow through you.)

E - Expand awareness
(Broaden your focus, to include the world around you; engage in what you’re doing.)

Useful Self-Talk To Help You Make Room For Your Feelings

Here are some phrases you may find helpful to say to yourself, when difficult feelings arise.
Experiment with them, and change or modify them as desired. And if any of them seem to be
unhelpful, please don’t use them!

• This emotion is normal; it’s a normal reaction to a difficult situation.

• Emotions are like the weather, and I am like the sky.
• Emotions are like waves: they rise, peak, and fall.
• This emotion is intense now, but sooner or later it will pass.
• I have room for this feeling; no matter how big it gets, it can’t get bigger than me.
• I’m willing to make room for this feeling, even though I don’t like it.
• It can’t harm me; I don’t need to fight it or run from it.
• I don’t have to let this control me; I can have this feeling and choose to act on my values.
• Like all feelings, this will come and stay and go in its own good time. I don’t need to fight it.
• Drop anchor, weather the storm.
• Make room for it.
• This is an opportunity to practice my new skills

© Russ Harris, 2021 www.TheHappinessTrap.com