Paper Reviewed: Disciplinary Approaches in the Elementary School Setting

Reviewed by: Emily Kapfer Mora

The clarity of the research question.

The research question is perfect – clear and concise!

Does the thesis statement contain a clear argument? How can it be polished?

The thesis does contain a clear argument; however, from a grammatical stance, see my
suggested edits below to better clarify it. I might suggest taking out “found to be” as this would
add confidence and conciseness.

“PBIS systems in the elementary school setting are found to be an effective disciplinary
approach in increasing academics, (remove comma here) and positive behavior achievement
through praise, teacher behavior management and promotion of a positive climate.”

Read the arguments and the reasoning in the paper. Does the evidence help support the themes
in the paper? What is the strongest evidence in the paper?

I see how your paper is organized to align with your visual map, but your themes don’t directly
align with the reasons provided in your thesis. I suggest either reorganizing your paper or
reorganizing and editing your thesis so readers know what pattern your paper will follow. The
positive climate section includes a lot of valuable evidence to support how this impacts PBIS.

Is the paper properly formatted, particularly with regard to APA in-text citations and references
at the end? Suggest corrections here.

Most citations are formatted correctly; the ones with three author names in the ‘positive
climate’ section need an & symbol and the ones with four author names I think should be
replaced with “et al.” Check the OWL Purdue website to be sure. The introductory paragraphs
need a few citations to support some of the claims made (e.g., “This is due to the PBIS system
giving students clear expectations...”). The citations must include the year even when the names
are not used in parentheses (higher academic achievement and praise sections). Be sure to
double space the references at the end.

What in the paper needs more expansion?

This paper has a lot of quality information but relies too heavily on direct quotes. I suggest
replacing a decent amount of the quotes with summaries and paraphrases as this makes the
paper more your own. I was going to suggest refuting against negative behaviors, but I see that
will be added to the end of your paper. The paper genuinely has a lot of detailed information
about the benefits of PBIS; I don’t think much content needs to be added, but I would read
through and check for grammatical errors as I caught quite a few of them.
What other feedback do you have for the author?

There is a mix of past and present tense throughout the paper; be sure to keep consistency in the
present tense.