CHAPTER 2- The Self in the Social World

CONCEPTS PRIOR KNOWLEDGE DEFINITION FROM THE BOOK REAL-LIFE

APPLICATION/EXAMPLES
Examples of the interplay between our sense of self and our social worlds.
SPOTLIGHT EFFECT Thinking that people are We tend to see ourselves at center Thinking that your peers would
looking at you and extra stage, so we intuitively overestimate notice your pimples on the
observant of the small the extent to which others’ attention cheeks when they may appear
details of yourself is aimed at us. less noticeable or not
noticeable at all.
Illusion of Transparency The illusion that our concealed If we’re happy and we know it,
emotions leak out and can be easily then our faces will surely show
read by others. it. And others, we presume, will
notice.
Social surroundings When we are the only member of A White American friend once
affect our self- our race, gender, or nationality in a told me how self-consciously
awareness. group, we notice how we differ and White he felt while living in a
how others are reacting to our rural village in Nepal; an hour
difference. later, an African American
friend told me how self-
consciously American she felt
while in Africa.
Self-interest colors our When problems arise in a close
social judgment. relationship such as marriage,
we usually attribute more
responsibility to our partners
than to ourselves. When things
go well at home or work or play,
we see ourselves as more
responsible.
Self-concern motivates In hopes of making a positive Like savvy politicians, we also
our social behavior. impression, we agonize about our monitor others’ behavior and
appearance. expectations and adjust our
behavior accordingly.
Social relationships help In our varied relationships, we have We may be oneself with Mom,
define ourselves. varying selves, note Susan Andersen another with friends, another
and Serena Chen (2002). with teachers. How we think of
ourselves is linked to the person
we’re with at the moment.
*Our sense of self enables us to
remember our past, assess our
present, and project our future—and
thus to behave adaptively.

“Mysticism,” adds fellow

psychologist Jonathan Haidt (2006),
“everywhere and always, is about
losing the self, transcending the self,
 and merging with something larger
than the self.”
SELF-CONCEPT: Who am I?
BIO-RELATED The “medial prefrontal cortex,” a One patient with right
INFORMATION ABOUT neuron path located in the cleft hemisphere damage failed to
ONESELF between your brain hemispheres recognize that he owned and
just behind your eyes, seemingly was controlling his left hand
helps stitch together your sense of
self. It becomes more active when
you think about yourself.
self-concept A person’s answers to the question,
“Who am I?”
Self-schemas These are mental models *These are mental templates by If athletics is central to your
and patterns molded by which we organize our worlds. Our self-concept (if being an athlete
learning from past self -schemas—our perceiving is one of your self-schemas),
experiences and are used to ourselves as athletic, overweight, then you will tend to notice
process new information and smart, or whatever—powerfully others’ bodies and skills. You
experiences. affect how we perceive, remember, will quickly recall sports-related
and evaluate other people and experiences. And you will
ourselves. welcome information that is
consistent with your self-
* Beliefs about the self that organize schema.
and guide the processing of self-
relevant information.

Possible Selves Images of what we dream of or Oprah Winfrey’s imagined

INFLUENCES TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE SELF
The roles we play
dread becoming in the future. possible selves, including the
dreaded overweight self, the
* They include our visions of the self rich self, and the helpful self,
we dream of becoming—the rich motivated her to work to
self, the thin self, the passionately achieve the life she wanted.
loved and loving self. They also
include the self we fear becoming—
the underemployed self, the unloved
self, the academically failed self.
Such possible selves motivate us
with a vision of the life we long for.
As we enact a new role—college
student, parent, salesperson—we
initially feel self-conscious.
Gradually, however, what begins as
playacting in the theater of life is
absorbed into our sense of self. For
example, while playing our roles we
may support something we haven’t
 really thought much about. Having
made a pitch on behalf of our
organization, we then justify our
words by believing more strongly in
them.
Social Comparison Our view of ourselves, Evaluating one’s abilities and *We feel handsome when
especially skills and opinions by comparing oneself with others seem homely, smart
accomplishments depends others. when others seem dull, and
on whether others have caring when others seem
more or less. callous.

*When climbing the ladder of

success, we tend to look up, not
down; we compare ourselves
with others doing even better.

* When facing competition, we

often protect our shaky self-
concept by perceiving the
competitor as advantaged.
Success and Failure To do one’s best and achieve is to After experiencing academic
feel more confident and success, students believe they
empowered. are better at school, which
often stimulates them to work
harder and achieve more.
Other People’s The looking-glass self was how
Judgments sociologist Charles H. Cooley (1902)
described our use of how we think
others perceive us as a mirror for
perceiving ourselves.

Fellow sociologist George Herbert

Mead (1934) refined this concept,
noting that what matters for our
self-concepts is not how others
actually see us but the way we
imagine they see us. People
generally feel freer to praise than to
criticize; they voice their
compliments and restrain their
gibes. We may, therefore,
overestimate others’ appraisals,
inflating our self-images.

Our ancestors’ fate depended on

what others thought of them. Their
survival was enhanced when
 protected by their group. When
perceiving their group’s disapproval,
there was biological wisdom to their
feeling of shame and low self-
esteem. As their heirs, having a
similar deep-seated need to belong,
we feel the pain of low self-esteem
when we face social exclusion, notes
Mark Leary (1998, 2004b). Self-
esteem, he argues, is a psychological
gauge by which we monitor and
react to how others appraise us.
SELF AND CULTURE Individualism- The concept of giving
priority to one’s own goals over
group goals and defining one’s
identity in terms of personal
attributes rather than group
identifications.

Collectivism- Giving priority to the

goals of one’s groups (often one’s
extended family or work group) and
defining one’s identity accordingly.

interdependent self- Construing

one’s identity in relation to others.

Pigeonholing cultures as solely

individualist or collectivist
oversimplifies, because within any
culture individualism varies from
person to person (Oyserman &
others, 2002a, 2002b). There are
individualist Chinese and collectivist
Americans, and most of us
sometimes behave communally,
sometimes individualistically
(Bandura, 2004).
GROWING INDIVIDUALISM China’s young people have
- Cultures can also change over time, acquired the label “The Me
and many seem to be growing more Generation,” and new economic
individualistic opportunities have challenged
traditional collectivistic ways in
India.
CULTURE AND The independent self acknowledges
COGNITION relationships with others. But the
interdependent self is more deeply
 embedded in others.
CULTURE AND SELF- Self-esteem in collectivist cultures Western individualists like to
ESTEEM correlates closely with “what others make comparisons with others
think of me and my group.” Self- that boost their self-esteem.
concept is malleable (context- Asian collectivists make
specific) rather than stable (enduring comparisons (often upward,
across situations). with those doing better) in ways
that facilitate self-improvement
For those in individualistic cultures, (White & Lehman, 2005).
self-esteem is more personal and
less relational. Threaten our
personal identity and we’ll feel
angrier and gloomier than when
someone threatens our collective
identity.
SELF-KNOWLEDGE
EXPLAINING OURSELVES Asked why we have felt or acted as People may misattribute their
we have, we produce plausible rainy-day gloom to life’s
answers. Yet, when causes are emptiness.
subtle, our self-explanations are
often wrong. We may dismiss factors
that matter and inflate others that
don’t.

As Daniel Gilbert notes in Stumbling

on Happiness (2007), not much: We
are remarkably bad predictors of
what will make us happy
PREDICTING OUR planning fallacy - The tendency to
BEHAVIOR underestimate how long it will take
to complete a task

The predictions of others about you

are more accurate than how you
predict yourself.
PREDICTING OUR “affective forecasting” reveals that Affective Forecast:
FEELINGS people have greatest difficulty people overestimate the
predicting the intensity and the intensity and the duration of
duration of their future emotions the pleasure they will gain from
purchasing a new car or
impact bias —overestimating the undergoing cosmetic surgery,
enduring impact of emotion-causing then they may make ill-advised
events. Faster than we expect, the investments in that new
emotional traces of such good Mercedes or extreme
tidings evaporate. Moreover, we are makeover.
especially prone to impact bias after
negative events. Impact Bias:
 Although you likely would
psychological immune system- forever regret the loss, your
strategies for rationalizing, general happiness some time
discounting, forgiving, and limiting after the event would be
emotional trauma influenced by “two things: (a)
the event, and (b) everything
immune neglect- The human else” (Gilbert & Wilson, 2000).
tendency to underestimate the In focusing on the negative
speed and the strength of the event, we discount the
“psychological immune system,” importance of everything else
which enables emotional recovery that contributes to happiness
and resilience after bad things and so overpredict our enduring
happen. misery. “Nothing that you focus
on will make as much difference
as you think,” write researchers
David Schkade and Daniel
Kahneman (1998

Immune Neglect:
we adapt to disabilities,
romantic breakups, exam
failures, tenure denials, and
personal and team defeats
more readily than we would
expect.
THE WISDOM AND * When the causes of our behavior
ILLUSIONS OF SELF- are conspicuous and the correct
ANALYSIS explanation fits our intuition, our
self-perceptions will be accurate
(Gavanski & Hoffman, 1987). When
the causes of behavior are obvious
to an observer, they are usually
obvious to us as well.

* Timothy Wilson (1985, 2002) offers

a bold idea: The mental processes
that control our social behavior are
distinct from the mental processes
through which we explain our
behavior. Our rational explanations
may therefore omit the unconscious
attitudes that actually guide our
behavior.

* dual attitudes Differing implicit

(automatic) and explicit (consciously
controlled) attitudes toward the
same object. Verbalized explicit
 attitudes may change with education
and persuasion; implicit attitudes
change slowly, with practice that
forms new habits
- Self-reports are often
untrustworthy.
SELF-ESTEEM A person’s overall self-evaluation orSpecific self-perceptions do
sense of self-worth. have some influence, however.
If you think you’re good at
Jennifer Crocker and Connie Wolfe math, you will be more likely to
(2001)—when we feel good about do well at math.
the domains (looks, smarts, or
whatever) important to our self-
esteem. “One person may have self-
esteem that is highly contingent on
doing well in school and being
physically attractive, whereas
another may have self-esteem that is
contingent on being loved by God
and adhering to moral standards.”

Jonathon Brown and Keith Dutton

(1994) argue that this “bottom-up”
view of self-esteem is not the whole
story. The causal arrow, they
believe, also goes the other way.
People who value themselves in a
general way—those with high self-
esteem—are more likely to value
their looks, abilities, and so forth.
They are like new parents who,
loving their infant, delight in the
baby’s fingers, toes, and hair: The
parents do not first evaluate their
infant’s fingers or toes and then
decide how much to value the whole
baby.

SELF-ESTEEM Abraham Tesser (1988) reported *Tesser thinks the threat to self-
MOTIVATION that a “self-esteem maintenance” esteem is greatest for an older
motive predicts a variety of child with a highly capable
interesting findings, even friction younger sibling.
among brothers and sisters. Tesser
presumes that people’s perceiving
one of you as more capable than the
other will motivate the less able one
to act in ways that maintain self-
esteem.
 Self-esteem threats occur among
friends, whose success can be more
threatening than that of strangers
(Zuckerman & Jost, 2001).

Mark Leary (1998, 2004b, 2007)

believes that our self-esteem
feelings are like a fuel gauge.
Relationships enable surviving and
thriving. Thus, the self-esteem
gauge alerts us to threatened social
rejection, motivating us to act with
greater sensitivity to others’
expectations. Studies confirm that
social rejection lowers our self-
esteem and makes us more eager for
approval.

To feel our lives are not in vain,

Greenberg maintains, we must
continually pursue self-esteem by
meeting the standards of our
societies.
THE DARK SIDE OF SELF- *People with low self-esteem often
ESTEEM have problems in life. Low self-
esteem was not the cause of these
young adults’ problems—the
seeming cause, instead, was that
many could not escape their tough
childhoods.

*High self-esteem does have some

benefits—it fosters initiative,
resilience, and pleasant feelings
(Baumeister & others, 2003). Yet
teen males who engage in sexual
activity at an “inappropriately young
age” tend to have higher than
average self-esteem. So do teen
gang leaders, extreme
ethnocentrists, terrorists, and men
in prison for committing violent
crimes
NARCISSISM: SELF-ESTEEM’S
CONCEITED SISTER

*Most people with high self-esteem

 value both individual achievement
and relationships with others.
Narcissists usually have high self-
esteem, but they are missing the
piece about caring for others

*High self-esteem + narcissist =

more aggressive

*The effects of self-esteem are

small, limited, and not all good. Self-
control is much better.
*Although it might be comforting to
think that an arrogant person is just
covering for his insecurity, chances
are that deep down inside he thinks
he’s awesome.
NARCISSISM ON THE RISE:
Agreement with narcissistic items
correlates with materialism, desire
to be famous, inflated expectations,
fewer committed relationships and
more “hooking up,” more gambling,
and more cheating, all of which have
also risen as narcissism has
increased
LOW VERSUS SECURE SELF-ESTEEM:
Secure self-esteem—one rooted
more in feeling good about who one
is than in grades, looks, money, or
others’ approval—is conducive to
long-term well-being.

Crocker and Park. To focus less on

one’s self-image, and more on
developing one’s talents and
relationships, eventually leads to
greater well-being
PERCEIVED SELF- Effortful self-control depletes our
CONTROL limited willpower reserves. Our
brain’s “central executive” consumes
available blood sugar when engaged
in self-control (Gailliot, 2008). Self-
control therefore operates similarly
to muscular strength, conclude
Baumeister and Julia Exline (2000):
Both are weaker after exertion,

SELF-EFFICACY More specific and narrower
than self-esteem. Self-
efficacy refers to one’s belief
that he can do the specific
task while self-esteem refers
to the general or overall
belief to oneself.
replenished with rest, and
strengthened by exercise.
*Bandura- How competent we feel When problems arise, a strong
on the task. Competence plus sense of self-efficacy leads
persistence equals accomplishment. workers to stay calm and seek
And with accomplishment, self- solutions rather than ruminate
confidence grows. Self-efficacy, like on their inadequacy.
self-esteem, grows with hard-won
achievements.

*If you believe you can do

something, that’s self-efficacy. If you
like yourself overall, that’s self-
esteem.

*Self-efficacy could only make a

difference, depending on how
controllable the situation is. (Locua
of Control)
LOCUS OF CONTROL INTERNAL LOCUS OF JULIA ROTTER- The extent to which A student blames the teachers
CONTROL- you are people perceive outcomes as or the lesson when he failed the
responsible for all the things internally controllable by their own subject. (External Locus of
that happen in your life efforts or as externally controlled by control)
chance or outside forces.

EXTERNAL LOCUS OF *Obviously, there are limits to the

CONTROL- events happened
beyond one’s control and
external forces are the ones
responsible
Learned Helplessness Learned Helplessness- due to
versus Self- recurrent bad and
Determination uncontrollable experiences,
people tend to go passive
and feel hopeless, thus
giving up instead of trying
again.
THE COST OF EXCESS
CHOICES
power of positive thinking. Being
optimistic and feeling in control can
reap great benefits, but poverty and
sickness can happen to anyone.
Martin Seligman- The sense of
hopelessness and resignation
learned when a human or animal
perceives no control over repeated
bad events.
“an excess of freedom,” will cause
decreased life satisfaction and
increased rates of clinical
depression. Too many choices can
lead to paralysis, or what Schwartz
calls “the tyranny of freedom.”
Homeless shelter residents who
perceive little choice in when to
eat and sleep, and little control
over their privacy, are more
likely to have a passive, helpless
attitude regarding finding
housing and work (Burn, 1992).
After choosing from among 30
kinds of jams or chocolates,
people express less satisfaction
with their choices than those
choosing from among 6 options

*people have expressed greater

satisfaction with irrevocable choices
(such as those made in an “all
 purchases final” sale) than with
reversible choices (as when allowing
refunds or exchanges).
SELF-DETERMINATION *bolstered by experiences of
successfully exercising control and
improving one’s situation

*Social Persuasion, Self-persuasion,

and Modeling— seeing similar
others succeed with effort— helps,
too. But the biggest source of self-
efficacy, he says, is mastery
experiences. “Successes build a
robust belief in one’s efficacy.” If
your initial efforts to lose weight,
stop smoking or improve your grades
succeed, your self-efficacy increases.

SELF-SERVING BIAS Disregarding the present The tendency to perceive oneself

information that is not favorably.
aligned with one’s belief.
As we process self-relevant
information, a potent bias intrudes.
We readily excuse our failures,
accept credit for our successes, and
in many ways see ourselves as better
than average. Such self-enhancing
perceptions enable most people to
enjoy the bright side of high self-
esteem, while occasionally suffering
the dark side.
Self-Serving Attributions How we explain things to A form of self-serving bias; is the Divorced people usually blame
ourselves. tendency to attribute positive their partner for the breakup
outcomes to oneself and negative (Gray & Silver, 1990), or that
outcomes to other factors. managers often blame poor
performance on workers’ lack of
* “bias blind spot”- we see ourselves ability or effort (Imai, 1994;
as objective and everyone else as Rice, 1985). (Workers are more
biased. No wonder we fight, because likely to blame something
we’re each convinced we’re “right” external— inadequate supplies,
and free from bias. excessive workload, difficult co-
workers, ambiguous
* collectivists are less likely to self- assignments.)
enhance by believing they are better
than others (Heine & Hamamura,
2007), particularly in individualistic
domains
CAN WE ALL BE BETTER * For subjective, socially desirable,
THAN AVERAGE? and common dimensions, most
people see themselves as better
than the average person. Compared
with people in general, most people
see themselves as more ethical,
more competent at their job,
friendlier, more intelligent, better
looking, less prejudiced, healthier,
and even more insightful and less
biased in their self-assessments.

* we have more knowledge about

our behavior than about someone
else’s, and we assume that other
people’s behavior will be less
extreme than ours

* Within commonly considered

domains, subjective behavioral
dimensions (such as “disciplined”)
trigger even greater self-serving bias
than observable behavioral
dimensions (such as “punctual”).
Subjective qualities give us leeway in
constructing our own definitions of
success.
UNREALISTIC OPTIMISM An unrealistic optimism about unrealistic optimism:
future life events. Partly, because of Sexually active undergraduate
their relative pessimism about women who don’t consistently
others’ fates. Illusionary optimism use contraceptives perceive
increases our vulnerability. Believing themselves, compared with
ourselves immune to misfortune, we other women at their university,
do not take sensible precautions. as much less vulnerable to
unwanted pregnancy
Julie Norem- defensive pessimism-
The adaptive value of anticipating defensive pessimism:
problems and harnessing one’s Students who exhibit excess
anxiety to motivate effective action. optimism (as many students
destined for low grades do) can
* The moral: Success in school and benefit from having some self-
beyond requires enough optimism to doubt, which motivates study.
sustain hope and enough pessimism
to motivate concern.
False Consensus and false consensus effect- The tendency Those who use marijuana but
Uniqueness to overestimate the commonality of use seat belts will overestimate
one’s opinions and one’s undesirable (false consensus) the number of
or unsuccessful behaviors. other marijuana users and
 underestimate (false
false uniqueness effect- The uniqueness) the number of
tendency to underestimate the other seat belt users (Suls &
commonality of one’s abilities and others, 1988). Thus, we may see
one’s desirable or successful our failings as relatively normal
behaviors. and our virtues as relatively
exceptional.
Explaining Self-Serving * One explanation sees the self- I could easily picture myself
Bias serving bias as a by-product of how picking up the laundry off the
we process and remembers bedroom floor, but I was less
information about ourselves. aware of the times when I
Comparing ourselves with others absentmindedly overlooked it.
requires us to notice, assess, and
recall their behavior and ours. Thus,
there are multiple opportunities for
flaws in our information processing.

*It’s now clear from the research

that we have multiple motives.
Questing for self-knowledge, we’re
motivated to assess our competence
(Dunning, 1995). Questing for self-
confirmation, we’re motivated to
verify our self-conceptions (Sanitioso
& others, 1990; Swann, 1996, 1997).
Questing for self-affirmation, we’re
especially motivated to enhance our
self-image (Sedikides, 1993). Self-
esteem motivation, then, helps
power our self-serving bias. As social
psychologist Daniel Batson (2006)
surmises, “The head is an extension
of the heart.”
THE SELF-SERVING BIAS When good things happen, people
AS ADAPTIVE with high self-esteem are more likely
to savor and sustain the good
feelings. Self-serving bias and its
accompanying excuses also help
protect people from depression.
Self-serving bias additionally helps
buffer stress.

“terror management theory,” Jeff

Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon, and
Tom Pyszczynski (1997; Greenberg,
 2008) propose another reason why
positive self-esteem is adaptive: It
buffers anxiety, including anxiety
related to our certain death. In
childhood we learn that when we
meet the standards taught us by our
parents, we are loved and protected;
when we don’t, love and protection
may be withdrawn. We, therefore,
come to associate viewing ourselves
as good with feeling secure.
Greenberg and colleagues argue that
positive self-esteem—viewing
oneself as good and secure—even
protects us from feeling terror over
our eventual death.
THE SELF-SERVING BIAS *People who blame others for their group-serving bias:
AS MALADAPTIVE social difficulties are often unhappierMost university sorority
than people who can acknowledge members perceive those in
their mistakes. their sorority as far less likely to
be conceited and snobbish than
* group-serving bias- Explaining those in other sororities
away outgroup members’ positive (Biernat & others, 1996).
behaviors; also attributing negative
behaviors to their dispositions (while
excusing such behavior by one’s own
group)

* Humility is not handsome people

believing they are ugly and smart
people trying to believe they are
slow-witted. False modesty can
actually be a cover for pride in one’s
better-than-average humility. True
humility is more like self-
forgetfulness than false modesty. It
leaves us free to rejoice in our
special talents and, with the same
honesty, to recognize the talents of
others.
SELF-PRESENTATION *Humans seem motivated not only
to perceive themselves in self-
enhancing ways but also to present
themselves favorably to others.

*The act of expressing oneself and

behaving in ways designed to create
a favorable impression or an
 impression that corresponds to one’s
ideals.
Self-Handicapping Protecting one’s self-image with Can you see why, fearing
behaviors that create a handy excuse failure, people might handicap
for later failure. themselves by partying half the
night before a job interview or
playing video games instead of
studying before a big exam?
When self-image is tied up with
performance, it can be more
self-deflating to try hard and fail
than to procrastinate and have
a ready excuse. If we fail while
handicapped in some way, we
can cling to a sense of
competence; if we succeed
under such conditions, it can
only boost our self-image.
Impression Self-presentation refers to our self-monitoring -“I tend to be
Management wanting to present a favorable what people expect me to be”)
image both to an external audience act like social chameleons.
(other people) and to an internal
audience (ourselves). With regard to
an external audience, those who
score high on a scale of self-
monitoring adjust their behavior to
each situation, whereas those low in
self-monitoring may do so little
social adjusting that they seem
insensitive.

self-monitoring- Being attuned to

the way one presents oneself in
social situations and adjusting one’s
performance to create the desired
impression. They continually monitor
their own behavior and note how
others react, then adjust their social
performance to gain a desired effect.