Lesson 1: What Personality Is

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Personality:

Personality may be defined as the sum total of the qualities and characteristics of a
person as shown in her manner of walking, talking, dressing, and her attitudes,
interests, and ways of reacting to other people. It refers to all the factors within the
person that influence his characteristic ways of behaving, thinking, and feeling. It is your image
on others.

In life we tend to accept or reject others according to what we think about their
personalities. Employer often ten to hire or promote a person on personality than on what
he/she knows about the job.

Once others have decided on the nature of our personalities, they tend to treat us
accordingly. Often the judgment is based on a first impression and does not change even
though the interpretation was erroneous and our behaviour has changed dramatically. This
unchanging opinion of others based only on a first general impression is known as the “halo
effect.” For example, during the first meeting with an applicant, he makes an inappropriate
remark to the interviewer, the interviewer labels the applicant as “wise guy” for the rest of the
screening process even though the applicant could have been an ideal worker.

People often fall in love and marry because they believe in their personalities match
well. They enjoy the same activities and their opinions, interests, and values are similar.
Personalities change, however, hence we all see unhappily married couples who, unfortunately,
have not “grown” or changed together.
 Lesson 2: What Are the Component of Personality

A worker may have a pleasing personality and yet not be considered for promotion because
other aspects of his/her personality prove to handicap his/her work. This was the case of Trixia.
Trixia, who learned to use computer in school and who had little knowledge of various
programs found it difficult to land a job.

Being pleasing and attractive in appearance is only one aspect of personality. In general,
following are the aspects of personality.

1. Physical
This includes the made of dressing, manner of
walking, posture, body build, health, complexion, and
facial expression.

2. Intellectual
How a person talks and what she talks about is what
matters in the intellectual component of personality.
He must develop his intellectual or “brain”.

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3. Social
Good manners, correct manners are included in this
aspect of personality. To do the right thing at the right
time, to act in the proper manner, to get along well
with others-these are all parts of the social sphere of
personality.
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4. Emotional
 This component includes a person’s likes or dislikes,
whether he/she is calm or nervous, and whether
he/she loses his/her temper easily or “keeps her cool.”
Personality problems, such as how to avoid mental
disorders are some problems that are emotional in
e nature.

5. Value System
This includes a person’s a person’s attitude, values,
beliefs, and philosophy in life. This aspect is referred
to as the CHARACTER. It is shown in the way we
judge whether our actions and the actions of others
are right or wrong.

Lesson 3: Importance of Studying Personality

What does the study of human personality have to do with you and your daily life?

The study of human personality could very well be one of the most significant studies
for you not only now but in the future as well. For it is through understanding of your own
personality and the personalities of your fellowmen that will spell the difference between
success and failure in your dealings with them. An understanding of your of your personality
and of others can make the difference between satisfactory and unsatisfactory adjustment.

If you were to ask people of various ages and walks of life what their most pressing
personal problem is, many of them would say: Understanding my fellowmen (whether a parent,
a spouse, a superior, a child, a girlfriend or boyfriend, etc.

Most of us see only some small aspects of the true personalities of those around us. We
only see the image that is seen on the surface, which may not really represent the entire
personality of an individual.

Mistakes in evaluating and judging personalities are often one of the major causes for
the interpersonal problems involved in marriage, dating, business associations or relations
between friends. The study of personality should, therefore result in our attempts to improve
our own personality as well as to understand others so that we can adjust to them and have
harmonious relations with them.

Lesson 4: Personality Differences

We are all different because of three factors: (1) heredity, (2) environment, and (3)
experiences.

Our Heredity – We are born with a set of genes and chromosomes which we inherit
from our forefathers and our parents. These set the limits to our potential. This potential is
achieved to the fullest by the proper use of environment – our experiences over the years,
especially our interaction with other people.

There have been many attempts to estimate the relative importance of heredity and the
environment of personality development. There is evidence that children reared in poo
environments generally suffer deficient language and intellectual development and develop
personality defects, such as lack of emotional, responsiveness and inadequacy in relating to
other persons. However, not all children reared in impoverished environments are equally
defective.

Twins who are reared in separate environments show greater equality of scores on
intelligence tests than unrelated children reared in separate environments. The greater
similarity of intelligence between twins is explained on the basis of greater similarity in genetic
endowments. Yet, there is ample evidence that intelligence scores of children are influenced by
environmental circumstances.

The environment – This consists of your family, school, church, social groups, and
other groups with whom we interact from the very beginning. Each group puts pressure on us
and we behave in certain in certain ways as a result of being with these groups. Our behaviour
changes with each situation and with the people we are with. We behave differently when we
are with our parents, teachers, and other older than us.

Our experiences – These consist of everything that we do or get in touch with,

everywhere we got in short, everything that we are exposed to in our lifetime, whether
physical, emotional, or social experiences.
 Lesson 5: Improving Personality

Even though much of our personality is set early in life, experiences in later life do have an
influence on our behaviour. Sometimes an event such as an experience of success or failure
may bring about drastic changes in personality patterns.

Fortunately, personality can be improved. Charm, popularity, glamour – these are only a
part of personality. There is much more to our personality than the impression we make on
others. Personality shows itself even when there are no people around us to impress.

All of us are constantly evaluating and modifying our behaviour in the light of our experiences
of success or failure. We all have ideas about ourselves. What may bother us is the accuracy of
our self- appraisal. Are we realistic? Have we underestimated or overestimated our abilities?
The important thing is that our self-appraisal will help us develop our personalities so that we
can better interact with other people.

Remember that you are the architect of your own personality. The building blocks of your
personality structure contain diversities of experiences. The more you get involved in the world
and the more you accept its challenges, the greater will be the opportunities to test out what
you believe to be true about yourself and build your personality.

Techniques in Improving Personality

In improving anything, there are usually four steps to follow:

1. Realize that improvement is needed.
2. Have a strong motive or desire to improve.
3. Take an inventory or make a checklist of strong and weak points, or what is to be
improved , and
4. Have a step by step plan for improvement,

If you feel that you are perfect and need no improvement, then you cannot be helped.
But if you can say to yourself that you can stand some improvement and have a strong desire
to improve, then you can go on to steps 3 and 4.
 Lesson 6: Defining Beauty in Men and Women

What is Beauty?

What is beauty? It is an innate quality, a way of being, a manner of acting. It is also a way of
looking. When we think of beauty knowing fully well that sooner or later the personality and
inner self must supersede the outer beauty of the face and figure. However, to achieve
balanced beauty the inner and outer must blend together to be joined by an ability to love and
to be loved, by an awareness and curiosity about life, by intelligence, happiness, social grace,
and by self-expression through all bodily movements – beauties are made, not born.

Beauty is also very much a state of mind. Beauty is a quality that should grow with each
passing day and be developed to last a lifetime. Beauty is enhanced by absorbing the beauty
that surrounds you in your daily life. Your personal beauty will be enhanced as your awareness
of beauty grows. As an exercise to help awaken your awareness of beauty, first open your eyes
to the beauty of the elements of nature surrounding you – the stars, the moon, white clouds,
blue skies, mountains, trees, flowers, and streams. An awareness of external beauty helps you
establish your own standards for beauty and develop a philosophy by which you wish to live.

Notice your friends. One of your friends may have great physical beauty, the kind that
makes all boys take notice. Another has a terrific personality – she is always bubbly and fun to
be with. A third may not be so handsome or so happy but he is smart. No one is just physical
appearance, personality, or intelligence alone. You are a combination of all these three facets.
Think of yourself as a diamond which must be cut with many facets in order to sparkle properly.
Each facet should be proportioned in such a way that your complete beauty shines forth.

Outer Beauty
 Outer beauty is highlighted not only by personal attractiveness, but by outer behaviour,
poise, and education. Your speech, diction, grammar, and sensitivity in communication reflect
your true nature. Your speech, diction, grammar, and sensitivity in communication reflect your
true nature. It is your total image that determines just how beautiful or handsome you really
are. First, you must survey your present habits of nutrition and exercise, and use of makeup
and clothing. From there, you must embark upon a program of a personal enhancement and
development that brings out the positives and plays down the negatives.

Establishing the proper attitude has brought you to the point when you are ready to cut
an important facet of your diamond- the first impression. Although it is common knowledge that
looks can deceive, there is no escaping the fact that physical appearance is the major criterion
in making a first impressions are of the utmost importance.

When preparing for a first, work to improve everything possible- even the most minute
detail. What may appear insignificant when considered alone can combine with other
imperfections to project carelessness. To each new person you encounter, the way you look
and behave is a sample of your total self. In presenting yourself to others, think in terms of
your “packaging”. You want the person you meet to think, “I want to know this person later”.
Remember that it is natural in our society to rate those who come in pretty and proper
packages more positively, to perceive them as more talented, more intelligent, more adept at
the social skills.

People meet the outer you before they are able to know the inner you. They respond to
the “picture” you make and to the springy and energetic, or uninteresting and uncommunicative
way you are feeling even before you exchange hellos. Therefore, it is necessary that you work
to perfect your outer “Packaging”. This consists of your physical beauty and general personal
appearance which is enhanced through your clothing, accessories, makeup, and hairstyle, as
well as the shape an condition of your body.

Inner Beauty

To think beautiful is to be beautiful.

Everything begins with your perception. Ready? With your eyes shut, think the words, “I am
beautiful or handsome”. With your eyes open, write, “I am beautiful.” With a sincere smile, in
the privacy of your room, say, “I am beautiful,” The seeds of beauty- an attitude by which to
live and an image to project- are the most valuable seeds of thought you can plant and
cultivate in your secret mental garden. Just now, by thinking, writing, and saying, “I am
beautiful or handsome”- you sowed the seeds. After sowing the seeds of beauty cultivation
must begin. Cultivation is comprised of the responsibility and the commitment on your part to
make beauty become reality in your life. This takes time and work, However, you will begin to
feel beautiful as soon as you begin to work on your physical, emotional, mental, and aesthetic
being. Cultivating the thought, “I am beautiful” requires self-analysis, goal-setting, commitment,
discipline, and perseverance. You must learn to recognize your strengths and weaknesses, your
good and bad qualities, and then decide what can be done about each of them- which will you
play up and which will you play down, or ignore?