Arguments in Favor of Same Sex Marriage

1. Marriage isn’t real: it is just a social convention that we can redefine

2. Unfair: Homosexuals ought to be allowed to marry because it’s unfair to prevent them for doing
so 3. A Right: People have a right to marry whoever they want
4. Bad Motivations: Opponents are motivated by religious convictions and/or bigotry 5. The Law
Shapes Culture: The law must be changed to overturn bigotry in our culture 6. Marriage is a Private
Good: Redefining marriage hurts no one / does not harm marriage 7. Natural / Genetic: Gay
marriage is no less “natural” since homosexuality is genetic and/or natural 8. Hypocrisy:
Heterosexual marriages are not necessarily monogamous, enduring, or procreative

Is Marriage a “Real” Thing?

1. Reasons to think it is not “real”:
a. Marriage involves social conventions
b. Social conventions can be changed
c. Marriage can be changed
2. What is “real” / “true”?
a. Why not just allow every relationship to be a marriage?
b. Is “reality” simply defined by natural sciences/materialism?
c. So “fairness” and “rights” are real, but marriage is not?
d. Are all relationships purely social constructs (is friendship not a “real” thing?) 3.
Marriage is tied to social conventions—but not merely a social convention a. Possible to
distinguish primary essence and secondary elements (e.g., cultural conventions) b. Justice is
expressed in different ways—but it is a real thing
c. Friendship is expressed in different ways—but it is a real thing
4. Key starting points:
a. There is such a thing as “marriage”
b. Reality/Truth matters
c. Truth involves ethical implications

No Dialogue without Mutual Respect

1. Don’t demonize opponents: Those who disagree with you aren’t
necessarily a. Evil
b. Bigoted
2. Conjugal view advocates should not insist all advocates of “marriage equality”
are: a. Sinful
b. Anti-religious bigots
c. Perverted
3. Revisionists should not insist all advocates of traditional marriage are:
a. Homophobic
b. Bigoted
c. Irrational
4. Dialogue must involve empathetic listening

1
Common Ground
1. Truth/Reality matters and involves ethical implications
2. Not all relationships can be called “marriages”
3. Something(s) are constitutive of marriage

Conjugal View: Three Elements of Marriage

1. Comprehensive Union: Unites two persons in their most basic dimensions—body and soul
2. Procreation: Unites two persons with respect to procreation
3. Exclusivity and Permanence: Unites two persons permanently and exclusively

Why Marriage is Natural

1. Humans are naturally capable of procreation
2. Procreation is more than just biological conception
3. Optimal child-rearing requires environment secured by marriage
4. “Matrimony”: mater (“mother”) + monium (“state”)
5. Legally: marriage “consummated” in coitus
6. Makes sense: procreation fulfills and extends a marriage
—“Procreation is the good that fulfills and extends a marriage, because it fulfills and extends the act
that embodies or consummates the commitment of marriage: sexual intercourse, the generative act.”1 7.
Other sexual acts
a. Not organic unions
b. Not ordered to procreation
c. Are not inherently ordered to procreation

Can Infertile Couples Marry?

1. Not all natural acts achieve their natural end (e.g., eating)
2. Still engaged in an act that is ordered to procreation—an act that would be further fulfilled by
children 3. Marriage is thus not recognized as consummated only after conception, but simply after
coitus 4. Baseball analogy2
Baseball Team Marriage

Commits to kind of cooperation ordered to Commits to kind of cooperation

winning games, among other things ordered to procreation, among other
things

If cooperative acts don’t produce a win, remain a If cooperative acts not lead to procreation, they do
team not cease to be married

Skills developed in pursuit of winning: inherently good Cooperative actions ordered to procreation:
inherently good

If a group of people do not commit to engage If a couple do not commit to engage in

in cooperation ordered to winning games, they cooperation even ordered to procreation, they
do not realize specific goods of baseball (not a do not realize the specific goods of marriage
true team) (not a marriage)

Final Considerations
1. Unfairness charge assumes revisionist view / would even work against certain revisionist
approaches 2. Conjugal view rests on holistic view of human person—parents and children
3. Not simply defensible by divine revelation / explains nearly universal view of marriage in history
1
Girgis, et al, What is Marriage?, 30.
2
Girgis, et al, What is Marriage?, 30–31.
2