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IFSSelf-Therapy - Self-Therapy-Help-Sheet
IFSSelf-Therapy - Self-Therapy-Help-Sheet
This is a summary of all the steps of the IFS procedure. It is meant to guide your steps while you
If the part is not activated, imagine yourself in a recent situation when the part was activated.
Check to see if you are charged up with the part’s emotions or caught up in its beliefs right now.
Check to see how you feel toward the target part right now. If you can’t tell, you may be
blended.
If you are blended with the target part, here are some options for unblending.
Ask the part to separate from you so you can get to know it.
See an image of the part at a distance from you or draw the part.
If the part doesn’t separate, ask what it is afraid would happen if it did.
Check to see how you feel toward the target part right now.
If you feel compassionate, curious, and so on, you are in Self, so you can move on to P4.
If you don’t, then unblend the concerned part:
Ask the concerned part if it would be willing to step aside (or relax) just for now so you can
If it does, check again to see how you feel toward the target part, and repeat.
If it still won’t, ask what it is afraid would happen if it did, and reassure it about its fears.
If it still won’t, make the concerned part the target part and work with it.
The part may answer in words, images, body sensations, emotions, or direct knowing.
You can foster trust by saying the following to the protector (if true):
If it won’t give permission, ask what it is afraid would happen if you accessed the exile.
Possibilities are:
The exile has too much pain. Explain that you will stay in Self and get to know the exile, not
There isn’t any point in going into the pain. Explain that there is a point -- you can heal the
exile.
The protector will have no role and therefore be eliminated. Explain that the protector can
Ask the exile to contain its feelings so you can be there for it.
Do a centering/grounding induction.
do that.
Conscious blending: If you can tolerate it, allow yourself to feel the exile’s pain
If you aren’t in Self or don’t feel compassion, unblend from any concerned parts.
They are usually afraid of your becoming overwhelmed by the exile’s pain or the exile taking
over.
Explain that you will stay in Self and not give the exile the power to take over.
Ask: What do you feel? What makes you feel so scared or hurt (or any other feeling)?
Let the exile know that you want to hear its story.
Check to see if the exile can sense you there and notice how if it is taking in your compassion.
Ask the exile to show you an image or a memory of when it learned to feel this way in childhood.
Check to make sure the part has shown you everything it wants to be witnessed.
After witnessing, check to see if the exile believes that you understand how bad it was.
5. Reparenting an Exile
Bring yourself (as Self) into the childhood situation and ask the exile what it needs from you to
heal it or change what happened; then give that to the exile through your internal imagination.
Check to see how the exile is responding to the reparenting.
If it can’t sense you or isn’t taking in your caring, ask why and work with that.
6: Retrieving an Exile
One of the things the exile may need is to be taken out of the childhood environment.
You can bring it into some place in your present life, your body, or an imaginary place.
7. Unburdening an Exile
Ask the exile if it wants to give up or release the burdens and if it is ready to do so.
If it doesn’t want to, ask what it is afraid would happen if it let go of them. Then handle those
fears.
What would the exile like to release the burdens to? Light, water, wind, earth, fire, or anything
else.
Once the burdens are gone, notice what positive qualities or feelings arise in the exile.
If necessary, take it through an unburdening and notice what positive qualities arise.
Imagine yourself in the original trailhead and see if any parts become activated.