Wi

nter

Dazaipull
edhiscoataroundhi
m ali
ttl
eti
ghter
.Kuniki
da
hadsenthim outonami ssi
onint
othefri
gidcol
dalong
wit
hAt sushi
despit
ehisunendi
ngprotest
s,andeventual
l
y
hehadnochoi cebuttofoll
oworder
s.

Atsushi
sneezednextt
ohim andbr
oughtaf
ingert
ohi
s
nosewhilesmil
i
ngsheepi
shl
y .

“I
t’
scol
dtodayisn’
tit
,Dazai
-san.Icompl
etel
yfor
gott
o
bri
ngascar
ftodaytoo.”

Dazai
putonanexasper
atedf
aceandbr
oughtupbot
h
ar
msasheshrugged.

“
Col
diti
sindeedAt
sushi
-kun.Buti
t’
snotascol
das
Kuniki
da’shear
t.
”Heshi
ver
edasthewindblewpastt
hem.
“Sendi
ngusoutonsuchaday,
”Dazaicont
inuedt
owhine.
“Howcr uel
ofhim.”

Atsushi
coul
donl
ysi
ghashi
sment
orcont
inuedt
o
complai
n.

“
Honest
lyAt
sushi
-kun.Thi
sdaycoul
dn’
tgetanywor
se-
“

Dazai’
svoi
ceabruptl
ycutoffasthebrunetcol
li
ded
agai
nstsomeonewhi l
ewalking.Apet
itefi
gureweari
nga
hatcameintot
het wodetect
ives’l
i
neofsight.

Dazaismirked.“Wel
lifi
tisn’tt
hePortMafi
a’
ssmall
est
executi
ve.You’r
esoshor tIcoul
dn’
tseeyouevenwi
th
yourtackyhatChuuya.”

Thebrunetexpect
edaf lur
ryofinsul
tst
obethrownback
athi
m ashehadi nsult
edbothChuuy a’
shei
ghtandhat
,
onl
ytoreceivenothi
nginresponse.
Chuuyast
oppedforabr
iefmomentandt
urnedhi
sheadi
n
Dazai
’
sdirect
ion.

Toffeeeyessli
ghtl
ywidenedast heytooki nChuuy a’
s
physical
appearance.Theexecut i
v e’
snormal l
y
shimmer i
ngredhairhadlostit
ssheenandhungl i
mply
aroundhisface.Chuuya’
sblueey esthatnormallyheldthe
sameamountofst r
engthasaf ier ceoceanstorm stared
backathim, al
ltr
aceofhisvibrantper sonali
tyabsent.

Aft
erexchangingbr
iefeyecontact
,Chuuyawalkedaway
wi
thoutawor dasDazailetoutasmallsi
gh.Atsushi
watchedthesceneunfol
dingbefor
ehiminconf usi
on.He
l
ookedupathi smentor’
sfaceandsawahi ntofconcern.

“
Dazai
-san?
”

At
sushi
’
svoi
cepul
l
edDazai
outofhi
sunv
oicedt
hought
s.

“
Hm?
”
“
Issomet
hingwr
ong?
”

Thebr
unetputonacheer
ful
smi
l
eandshookhi
shead.

“
Noti
nthel
eastAt
sushi
-kun.
”

Stretchi
ng,Dazaiwal
kedafewst epsaheadoftheother.
“Let’
shurryandfini
shthemissionbef
oreIcompletel
y
freezetodeathinthi
sweather.Imayli
kesui
cide,butthi
s
kindofpainisn’
thowIwantt ogo~”

Atsushitil
tedhisheadtothesidebefor
echasingaf terthe
tal
lerdetecti
ve.Evenaft
erallt
hist
imehecoul dn’tfull
y
understandwhatt hemy st
eri
ousbrunetwasthinking.He
shookhi shead.Afteral
l
, i
twasbesttonotquestionDazai
anyway .

*
**

Themissi
onwasar el
ati
velysi
mpleone,andthet
wo
compl
eteditwi
thease.Though,t
hroughoutt
hemissi
on,
Dazaiappearedtobel osti
nhisownt houghtsandonly
respondedwhenAt sushirepeatedlycall
edouthisname.
AtsushiwasexpectingDazai t
opr ompt l
yret
urntothe
offi
cegivenhowmuchhehadcompl ainedaboutthecold
thewholetimetheyhadbeenout doors.

Mucht
ohissurpri
se,
Dazai
tol
dhi
mtoheadbackt
othe
of
fi
cewit
houthim.

“Ij
ustr
emember edthere’
ssomethi
ngIneedt
ocheckup
onAtsushi-
kun,”Dazaiexplai
nedwhent
heyoungerone
gavehim aperplexedlook.

“
ButDazai
-san`
”

Theol
derdet
ect
ivewav
edhi
m away
.

“
Bet
terhur
ryorKuni
ki
da-
kun’
sgoi
ngt
ogetangr
yagai
n~”

Atsushist
if
fenedatt
hementi
onoftheblondedet
ect
ive’
s
angerandhurri
edawayt
oreportbackt
ohim.
Dazaichuckl
edashewat chedhi
sprot
égél
eaveand
wait
edt i
l
ltheyoungerdet
ecti
vewascompl
etel
youtof
si
ghtbeforeproceedi
ngoffonhi
sown.

*
**

Thesoundofknockingagainsthisdoorbr okeChuuya’
s
pl
ansforaquietaft
ernoon.Hegr oanedandpul leda
bl
anketoverhi
shead, hopi
ngt hepersontryingtobot
her
hi
m wouldtakethehintandleavehim alone.Itwas
wishf
ult
hinki
ng,andy ethetr
iedany way.

Chuuyasoonheardthel
ockbei
ngpickedopenasthe
annoy
ingdist
urbancel
ethi
msel
fint
ot heapar
tment.

“Br
eakingi
ntootherpeopl
e’shomesi sagainstt
helaw
Dazai
,”hemuffl
edi nt
otheblanket
,notbotheri
ngto
uncoverhi
sface.“Getout
.”

“
Dazai
’
scheer
ful
voi
cer
angt
hroughoutt
heempt
iness.
“That
’snowayt
ogr
eetsomeonewho’
scomet
ovi
sity
ou
Chuuya~”

“
Inev
eraskedt
oyoucomeannoymeDazai
.”

HecouldhearDazaifoot
stepsdrawingclosert
ohim.Not
havi
ngtheenergytodealwitht
hebr unet
’santi
cs,
Chuuya
cont
inuedt
oignoretheother’
spresence.

“Chhhuuuuuuuuy
yyyaaaaaaaaa~”Dazaiwhinedina
chil
dishvoi
ceoverandov eragai
ntil
lChuyafi
nall
y
uncov er
edhi
mself,
unabletoignorehisi
rr
itat
ionany
l
onger .

“Whatdoy
ouwantDaz
ai,
”hespatoutashegl
aredatt
he
other
.

Dazaismi
l
edathi
m,st
il
lkeepi
ngacheer
ful
maskov
erhi
s
face.

“
Whenwast
hel
astt
imey
ousl
ept
.”
Chuuya’
seyeswidenedatt
hesuddenquest
ionbef
orehe
tur
nedhisheadaway.

“
Tch,
that
’snoneofy
ourbusi
nessDazai
.”

“Chuuy a.”Dazai ’
shandsgr abbedont ot heexecut ive’s
slenderwai standdrewhi m closer,hazel nutey essilentl
y
challengingt heothertofight.Heknewsomet hingwasof f
givent helackoft emperinChuuy a’sv oiceaswel last he
l
ackofphy sicalabuseagainsthi mt hemi nutehemanaged
tobr eakint otheredhead’sapar tment .Though, giv
en
Chuuy a’st endencytoshutDazai outofhi semot i
ons, he
wasn’ tsureChuuy awouldwi ll
inglyopenupt ohi m.
Somewher edeepi nst
eadof  himsel f,Dazai somewhat
regrettedbei ngthecold,emot ionlesspar tnerhewas
duringhi smaf i
adays.Hisfrost yatti
tudehadr esult
edi n
Chuuy acl ammi nguphi semot i
onst ot hebestofhi sabili
ty
whenev eritconcernedDazai .

Sapphi
reonesglar
edst
rai
ghtbackathi
mindef
iance,
but
Chuuyadi
dn’tdr
awaway.
“
What,
”hequest
ioned,
hisv
oicel
acki
ngi
tsusual
bit
ing
t
one.

Dazail
eanedcl
oserandgentl
yni
bbl
edChuuy
a’sear
.“Why
don’
tyoutel
lmethetrut
h.”

Chuuy
ahuf
fed,
endur
ingt
het
ickl
i
ngt
ort
uret
il
lhef
inal
l
y
br
oke.

“
Justoneday
,”hemut
ter
edunderhi
sbr
eat
h.

Thedetect
iveblewint
oChuuy a’
searcausingtheredhead
tol
etoutast ar
tl
edgasp.Darknessremini
scentofhis
mafi
aday screpti
ntothebr
unet’sl
ight
lycolor
edey es.

“Li
ar,
”Dazai
breat
hedout
,li
psst
il
lcent
imet
ersawayf
rom
Chuuya’
sear.

Bl
ushi
ngf
uri
ousl
y,t
heexecut
ivepushedDazai
awayf
rom
hi
m wi
thbot
hhands.

“
Okayf
ine.I
t’
sbeensev
eral
day
s.”

Thedar
ktinti
nDazai
’
seyesf
adedatt
hehonestanswer
,
andheful
l
ydrewaway.

“
Chuuy
ayour
eal
l
yneedt
osl
eepmor
e.”

Theexecut
ivel
etoutadeepsi
gh.“
Youdon’
tneedt
otel
l
methatDazai-
“

“
Inf
act
,you’
resl
eepi
ngr
ightnow”

“
Wai
t,what
-“

Chuuyadidn’
tgettofini
shhisthoughtasDazaithrewthe
peti
teexecut
iveoverhisshoulder
,ignor
ingChuuya’s
prot
estsandinsul
ts,andtossedhim notsogentl
yont ot
he
bed.
“
Chuuya,
ifyouatt
emptt
ogetup,
I’
ll
tiey
out
othebedt
o
f
orcey
out ogetsomesl
eep.
”

Chuuy
ashotdagger
sathi
m.“
Alway
stheki
nkyonear
en’
t
youDazai
.”

Thebrunetonlysmil
edbackandgaveChuuyaaquick
wink.“
Wel l
,Chuuy
ashouldknowbasedofff
ir
st-
hand
experi
ence~”

Thepeti
teexecut
ivefl
ushedashadeofredbr
ight
erthan
hi
shairandpull
edtheblanket
suparoundhi
m, ul
ti
matel
y
bur
yinghimsel
fbehindthecover
s.

“
ShutupandgetoutsoIcansl
eepi
npeace.
”

Thebrunethummedahappygoodni
ghtandsi
l
ent
lyl
eft
ther
oom.
*
**

Dazai’
sencount erwi t
hChuuyawassoonf orgot t
enasthe
brunetfoundmor eandmor ewor kpil
inguponbot h
himselfandt her estoftheagencymember s.Given
Chuuya’sl oyal
tyanddedi cati
ont othemaf ia,t
hebr unet
brushedt heencount erasideasacaseofov erexert
ion,
somet hi
ngt hatoccur redoft
enev enbef oreChuuy awasan
executiv
e.Hewoul dn’
tbesurprisediftheredhead’ s
habit
athadbecomewor seafterhisincreasein
responsibili
ti
esthatcamewi t
hbei ngani mpor tantfi
gur
e
i
nt hemaf i
a.

Theintensi
tyofChuuy a’
sworkethicremindedhim of
Kuniki
da’s,
andasmi l
estret
chedoutonDazai ’
slipsashe
l
eanedbackonhi schair
.Thetwowoul dmostl i
kelyget
l
onggi ventheamountofsuf f
eri
ngDazai putbothofthem
thr
ough.Dazai hummedt ohimselfashecontinued
l
eaningbackl osti
nhisownt houghtsti
l
lAtsushientered
theroom.

“
Dazai
-san,
it’
sti
met
oleav
e.”
Thebr unetsi
ghedandstoodup.Themissiontoday
i
nv olv
edcooperati
ngwiththePortMaf
ia,andhewas
dreadinghavi
ngtocoll
aboratewit
hbot
hAkut agawaand
Chuuy a.Hemadeasourf ace.I
twasgoingtobeat er
ri
ble
day .

At
sushi
gav
ehi
m apuzzl
edl
ook.“
Dazai
-san?
”

Dazaicheerf
ull
ysmi
l
edbackathi
spr
otégé.“
Let
’sgo
Atsushi
-kun~”

*
**

Thetwometatt
hedesi
gnat
edpoi
ntwher
eacl
oaked
fi
gur
ewasalr
eadywai
ti
ngfort
hem.

“
Alwaystheear
lyonear
en’
tyou,
Akut
agawa,
”Dazai
r
emarked.

Akut
agawacoughedt
wicebef
oretur
ningar
oundbutmade
noatt
emptt
ospeaktoeit
heroft
hetwodetect
ives.
Thestrangebehaviorbaff
ledDazai
.Normall
yhisfor
mer
prot
égéwoul ddemandDazai facehi
mi nbatt
letopr
ove
hi
sstrengthandear nacknowl
edge,orhewouldbehurl
i
ng
i
nsult
satAt sushi
.

Thebandageddet
ect
ive’
sey
essl
i
ght
lywi
dened.Speaki
ng
ofi
nsul
ts…

“
Where’
sChuuy
a,”Dazai
quest
ioned.“
Hewassupposedt
o
meetusher
easwell
.”

Faci
ngaway,Akut
agawamut t
eredhi
sresponsei
nav
oice
solowDazai
strai
nedtoheari
t.

“
Nakahar
a-sani
sint
hehospi
tal
.”

*
**

Chuuy
agr
oggi
l
ybl
i
nkedey
esandst
ruggl
edt
oopent
hem
ful
ly.TheI Vdri
pplacedintohi
sar m aswel l
ast hebeeping
ofthehear tmonitoraler
tedhi
mt hathewascur rent
lyi
n
thehospi t
al,
butnomat t
erhowhardt otr
iedt oremember ,
hecoul dn’
trecal
lwhyhehadbeenadmi tted.Theonl y
thi
ngt hatcamet omi ndwasanov erwhel
mi ngf ati
guethat
seemedt oseepintohisbonesandt het
hr obbingofhis
head.

Theexecutiv
eslight
lygr
oanedasheat temptedtosi
tup,
butdecideditwasn’
twortht heeff
ortandlai
dbackdown.
Kouyouenteredtheroom, concer
nmar ryi
ngherbeauti
ful
face,
andChuuy asuddenlyboltedupri
ghtonhisbed,
i
gnoringthescreamingprotestofhismuscles.

“
Ane-
san.
”

Kouy
oumot
ionedf
orhi
mtor
elax.

“
Chuuy
ahowar
eyouf
eel
i
ng.
”

Hesunkbacki
ntot
hebed.“
Exhaust
ed.
”
Shegav
ehi
m anunder
standi
ngsmi
l
e.

“
Youhav
en’
tbeensl
eepi
ngmuchhav
eyou.
”

Pal
eblueey
esdar
tedt
oKouy
ou’
sface.“
Ane-
san,
howdi
d
youknow…”

Thepinkhai
redexecuti
veapproachedt
hesi
deofhi
sbed
andhandedhim sever
alpaper
s.

“
Thi
scameoutt
oday
",sheexpl
ainedwi
thasol
emnf
ace.

Chuuy agav et hepapersaquicklookov erbeforesighing

andset ti
ngt hem aside.Kouyougentlypulledhimi nt
oher
arms, bri
ngingt hesmel l
ofspri
ngandf lower swithher.At
fi
rstChuuy apr otest
ed.Hewasn’ tachil
dany more,but
afterseeingt hepaininKouyou’spinkey es,hereali
zedt he
embr acewasnotonl ytocomf orthi
m butal sotocomf ort
herself.
Givi
ngint oherwar mth,
Chuuyaburi
edhisfaceint
oher
shoulderlikehehadsoof tendoneasachil
dandwi shed
thatt
hesoot hinghandrunni
ngthr
oughhishairwouldlul
l
himtosl eepl i
keithaddonesomanyy ear
sago.

*
**

ThenewsofChuuy a’shospit
alizati
oncameasasudden
surprisetoDazai sincedespitehi sext r
emewor kethic, t
he
petit
eexecut i
v enev erhadlandedhi msel finthehospi tal
before.Dazai foundhi mselfstandingi nfrontofChuuy a’ s
apartmentashedebat edturningar ound.Hewasn’ teven
sureChuuy ahadbeenr el
easedy et
, buthiscur i
osit
yand
under l
yingconcer ncausedhi sbandagedhandt oknockon
thedoor .Thebr unetwai t
edacoupl emoment s,andint he
sil
ence, heconcludedChuuy ahadn’ tbeenr eleasedy etand
turnedtol eavewhent hedooropened, reveali
nga
disorganizedChuuy a.

Theexecut
iver
anahandt
hroughhi
sunkempthai
r.

“
Whoi
sit
-“
Chuuya’
sfaceinst
ant
lyt
urnedhost
il
euponmeet
ing
Dazai
’
sey es.

“
Chuu-
“

Thedoorsl
ammedshuti
nhi
sface.

“Chuuya!That
’ssomean~”hewhi nedfr
om outsi
deand
conti
nuedtopestertheotherwhil
ecountingdownthe
secondsitwouldtakeforChuuyatoreopenthedoor.

Dazai’
scount
downr
eachedzer
oandr
ightoncue,
Chuuy
a
reappear
ed.

“Whatdoyouwantshit
tyDazai
,
”hemumbledunderhi
s
breat
h,t
henor
mal bi
teabsentf
rom hi
svoi
ce.

Thedetect
iveeasil
ysl
ippedpastt
heshor
texecuti
veand
ent
eredtheapartmentmuchtoChuuya’
sir
ri
tat
ion.Once
i
nside,Dazaireanal
yzedChuuya’
sphysi
cal
stateand
discoveredChuuyahadgottenworseov
erthecourseof
severaldays.

Theredheadi gnoredhim andsatbackdowni nfrontofthe

TV.Thel ackofresponset ohi
ssuddeni ntr
usionslightl
y
concernedDazai.Normal l
ythefieryt emperedexecutive
wouldhav ethrownhisknifeathisf acewhi l
eattempt i
ng
toki
ckhi m outthedoor,butChuuy ar emainedmot ionl
ess
onthecoachal mostasi fhecoul dn’tbebotheredtodeal
wit
ht heannoy i
ngintr
usioninvadinghi shome.

Dazaisear
chedaroundt heroom,l
ooki
ngforanythi
ngout
oftheordi
nar
y ,
whenhi seyesfel
luponsev
eralpapers
l
yingonthedinnert
able.

“
Chuuy
awhat
’st
his.
”

“Whydon’
tyoujustreadityourself
,”Chuuy
aret
ort
ed.“Or
hasyourl
oveofsuicidedestr
oy edsomanybraincel
l
s
you’
vefi
nal
lyl
osttheabili
tytoread.”
Afaintsmilet
uggedatt hecor ner
sofDazai’
sli
psasthe
famil
iari
tyoft
heirrout
inereturnedforabri
efmoment .
Scanningthepiecesofpaperi nhishandqui
ckly,
thesmil
e
fel
lfr
om hisfaceashishazel nuteyesgrewlar
gerand
l
argerwitheverywordher ead.

“
Chuuy
athi
s…”

“
It
’sex
act
lywhaty
out
hinki
tisDazai
.”

Thepapersf
rom t
hehospi
tal
wri
nkl
edi
nhi
shandasDazai
rer
eadthedi
agnosi
s.

Nakahar
aChuuy
a

Di
agnosi
s:FFI
-fat
alf
ami
l
ial
insomni
a.

 
Spr
ing

“Fatalf
amili
alinsomni a:anext r
emelyr ar
eaut osomal
diseaseofthebr ain.
” Dazai’
seyestrail
eddownt hebri
ght
screenofhislaptop. “FFIhasnoknowncur eandi nvol
ved
progressi
velywor seninginsomniawhi chleadst o
hall
ucinat
ions,deliri
um, confusi
onalstatesli
ket hatof
dement i
a,andev entually,
death.Averagesurv i
valti
mef or
patient
safteronsetofsy mptomsis18mont hs.”

Dazai
rer
eadthesamesent
enceov
erandov
eragai
n. 
“FFI
hasnoknowncure.
”

Numbnesscr epti
ntohissystem ashebl ankl
yst
aredat
thesentence.Nocure.Chuuya’scondi
ti
onhadnocur e.
Reali
zat
iondawneduponhi m ashesli
ddownhi sseat.
Chuuyawasgoi ngtodie,andhecouldn’tdoanyt
hing
aboutit
.

Dazai
slammedhi
slapt
opshut
.Heref
usedt
oacceptthi
s.
Eveni
fther
ewasnocurenow,
hecoul
dhopethatone
woul
devent
uall
ybefound.Cli
ngingont
ot hesmall
gl
immerofhope,t
hebrunetprepar
edtoleaveforwork.
Ther
ewasnowayhewasgoi ngtomerelyacceptt
his.

*
**

Akutagawawalkedint
oChuuya’
sof
fi
ceonl
ytof
indt
he
executi
veagi
tat
edlypaci
ngar
ound.

“
Nakahar
a-san?
”

Chuuy
awhi
ppedhi
sheadt
owar
dst
hei
ntr
udi
ngv
oice.

“
What
.”

Their
ri
tat
ionintheredhead’
sv oi
cecausedtheyounger
membertoslightl
ystepback.Sapphi
reeyesfl
icker
ed
towar
dshisface.

Chuuy
asi
ghed.“
It
’sj
usty
ouAkut
agawa.
”Hest
rai
ght
ened
out
.“Whati
sit
?”

Thecloakedmaf
iacoughedsev
eral
timesbef
ore
respondi
ng.

“Thebosswantedt
oknowwherethereportswher
e.Said
i
t’sunli
keyout
obelat
ewit
hthem wheny ou’r
enor
mallyso
punctual
ly
-“

Chuuy
a’sf
rust
rat
edv
oicecuthi
m of
f.

“
Shi
t.That
’swhatIf
orgot
.”

Theexecuti
vepi
nchedt
hebr
idgeofhi
snoseandshuthi
s
eyest
ightl
y.

“
I’
ll
togeti
tri
ghtnow.
”

Proceedi
ngt ot
hedoor,
Akutagawanoddedi
n
acknowledgementbutt
urnedbackar
ound.
“Nakahara-sanissomethi
ngwr ong?You’
vebeen
for
getti
ngmanyt hi
ngsrecent
ly.
”Blackey
esstar
edathi
s
head.“I
ncludingyourhat.
”

Chuuyacursedunderhisbreath.Hecouldn’
tbeliev
ehe
hadforgot
tenhisbel
ovedhatort hatevenAkutagawa,
someonewhowasonl yint
erestedinDazai’
sattenti
on,
had
not
icedhisfor
getful
ness.

“
It
’snot
hing,
”her
esponded.

Akutagawast
aredathi
m asecondlongert
hanhe
normall
ywoul
dbeforeexi
ti
ngtheroom.

Chuuy asighedoncehewasal one.Theheav i

nessofhis
bonesf el
tast heweightofthewor l
dwasuponhi s
shoulders,andhesway edslightlyashef umbledaround
hi
sdeskl ooki
ngf ort
heunfinishedr epor
ts.Theredhead
broughtahandt ohiseyesandwonder edifMoriwould
givehimt herestofthedayof f.Chuuy agrunt
ed.Itwas
worthashot .
*
**

Hisdayswerer elati
vel
yquiet,andChuuyafoundthe
si
lencewelcomi nginhisexhaustedstat
ebutalso
somewhatlonely .Hisi
nsomni ahadprogressi
vel
ygott
en
worseashef oundhi mselfrestl
essl
ytur
ninginbedonlyt
o
bl
anklyst
areatt heceil
ingtil
lthesunrose.

Notevendri
nki
nghel
pedeasesomeofhisfati
gue.Infact
,
bei
ngdrunkonl
yremi
ndedhim moreofhisphysi
call
yworn
outst
ateashewasn’
tabl
etosleepofft
healcohol.

Chuuyasatdownont hecouchandst ar
edatthequi
etci
ty
outsi
dehiswindow.Theci t
ysleptasi
tshoul
d,l
eavi
ng
Chuuyaaloneinthedarkness.Hedebatedmovi
ngtodo
somethingsemi-
producti
vewhenasuddenknockonhi s
doordrewhisatt
enti
on.

Hestaredatt
hecl
ock,
barelyabl
etomakeouttheti
me
wit
honlythemoonashissolesour
ceofl
i
ght,but
never
thel
ess,
somehowmanaged.
3:
24AM.

Theexecutivegroaned.Onl
yoneper sonwouldbeinsane
enought obotherhi
m atsuchanungodl yhour
.The
knockingpersist
entl
ygrewlouderasChuuy ar
eluct
antl
y
broughthimselfinf
rontoft
hedoor .

“Whoi
sit
,”heaskedi
naflatvoicedespi
teal
ready
knowi
ngwhowasont heotherside.

“
Chuuya~Gl
adtoknowy ou’
rest
il
lup.
”Dazai
’
smuf
fl
ed
v
oicecamef
rom out
side.

“
Whatdoy
ouwantsoear
lyi
nthemor
ningshi
tt
yDazai
.
”

“IwantChuuyat
oletmei
n~”Thebr
unetr
espondedi
na
cheerf
ulvoi
ce.

Ther
edheadt
urnedawayf
rom t
hedoor
.
“
Gobackt
oyourownapar
tment
.”

“
Ehhh.ButChuuy
a,t
hisusedt
obemyapar
tmentt
oo.
”

“
Thenyoushoul
dbeabletol
etyoursel
finDazai
,
”he
r
etor
tedashewalkedawayf
rom t
hedoor .

Dazaisighedashepul l
edoutal ockpi
ckfr
om insi
dehis
coatpocket.Hewi shedChuuyawouldn’
tmakehi m go
thr
oughsuchunnecessar yworkwhenhecoul davoidit
.
Withi
nsev er
alseconds,Dazaienter
edtheapart
ment
bri
ngingseveralsuit
caseswit
hhi m.

Chuuyaglaredathi
m.“
Tch.You’
veal
way
sbeengoodwi
th
yourf
ingers.”

Smil
ingbr
ight
ly,
Dazair
esponded.“
AwChuuy a~Idi
dn’
t
knowyouthoughtt
hathi
ghlyofme.I’
mtouched.
”
“
Itwasn’
tacompl
i
mentshi
tt
yDazai
.”

Sapphi
reey
esf
ell
upont
hel
uggagear
oundDazai
’
sfeet
.

“
What
’st
his.
”

Thesmi
l
eont
hebr
unet
’sf
acegr
ewev
enbr
ight
er.

“
List
entot
hisChuuy
a.Myapart
mentneedstobe
r
enovat
edaft
eri
tcaughtonf
ir
esoI’
m movingi
nwit
h
y
ou!”

Theglassofwat
erbetweenChuuy
a’sf
inger
sal
most
sl
ippedoutofhi
shand.

“
You’
rewhat
?!”

Dazai
til
tedhi
shead.
“Di
dyounothearmet hefirstt
ime.Honestl
yyououghtto
payatt
ent
ionwhenpeopl espeaktoyou.It
’sawonderyou
becameanexecut
ivelikethis.
”Dazai
shookhishead.“I
sai
dI’
m movingi
nwi t
hy ou.”

Thebladeofakni
fepr
essedagai
nstDazai’
sthr
oat
secondsaft
ert
hesent
encefel
lfr
om hi
slips.

“
Whosaidyoucoul
dcomebackher
e,”Chuuy
agr
owl
edi
n
alowv
oice.

Tof
feeey
esf
li
cker
edwi
thamusement
.

Dazaileanedintothegleamingbl ade,drawingat hi
nred
l
ineofbl oodfr
om hisskinandchal l
enginghisformer
part
nert odrawthemet alacrosshi sskininoneswi f
t
motion,ulti
matelyendi
nghisl i
fe.ForcingChuuy amakean
i
mpossi bledeci
sion,hespokei nav oicedrippi
ngwi t
h
venom.

“
Ify
our
eal
l
ydon’
twantmeher
e,ki
l
lmer
ightnow
Chuuy
a.”Dar
knesscr
epti
ntohi
svoi
ce.“
Neh.
 I
’
m wai
ti
ng 
.”

Thebl adepressedslightlydeeperintohi spalethroat

causi ngbloodtot r
ickledownont othecol l
arofDazai ’s
shi r
t.Chuuyast r
uggledwi t
hbeingt heonet oendt he
trait
oroft hePortMaf i
awi thhi
sownhandsl ikeheal way s
statedhewoul danddeal i
ngwi t
ht heaf t
ermat hofDaz ai’
s
futureabsencef rom hi sli
feorlett
ingt heir
ritati
ngbrunet
i
nandendur i
ngt hetor mentDazai seemedt ohav ecreated
j
ustt omakeChuuy a’
sl if
eal i
vi
nghel l
.Ami xtureof
resent mentandconf lictburneddeepwi thi
nhi scerul
ean
ey esast hebladepushedcutdeeperi ntoeachl ayerof
fl
eshwi theachpassi ngsecond.

Dazai
wasbeginni
ngtobel
i
evehehadmi
scal
cul
atedwhen
Chuuyar
eluct
ant
lypul
l
edaway.

“
Dowhat
every
ouwantDazai
.”

“
Wit
hpl
easur
eChuuy
a~”
Thedetecti
vebroughthi
ssuit
casesintotheliv
ingr oom
whenar ol
lofbandageswast hr
ownathi sface.Sur pr
ised,
hecaughttheroll
andsmiledinChuuya’sdi
rection.Sitt
ing
downont hecoach,Dazaiunr
aveledt
her ol
loffabricto
bandagetheinj
uryonhisneck.

Chuuyacont inuedtoignorehim andshuf

fl
edintothe
bedroom.Feel ingthelackofsleephi
mself
,Dazaifol
lowed
hi
m onl ytohav eapill
owt hrownagai
nsthi
sfacewi t
h
moref orcethananor mal humanshouldbeabletomuster
especiall
ywhensl eepdepr i
ved.

“Getoutshi
ttyDazai
.Gosl
eepont
hecouchor
something.
”

Thebr unetpeel
edt
hepi
l
lowf
rom hi
sfaceandgi
nger
ly
touchedhisnose.

“Iseey
ourbrutestr
engt
hhasn’
tbeenaff
ect
edi
nany
way
.
YoucouldhavebrokenmynoseChuuya.
”
Chuuy
ascof
fed.“
It
’sapi
tyi
tdi
dn’
t.
”

Theexecuti
vewr appedhimselfinhi
sblanketswhenhe
fel
tthemattressshif
tbesidehim asDazaicrawledunder
thecoversnexttohim.Hismul t
it
udesofinsult
spr ov
edto
beinvainast heyf
ellupondeafears.

“Chuuuy
aaaaaaa,”Dazaiwhi
nedashisbandagedarms
snakedaroundChuuya’spet
it
ewaist
.“Thecoachisso
uncomfortabl
e,andyou’
resowarm.”

Henuzzl
edChuuya’
shairwit
hhisnoseandfel
tthe
r
edheadgiv
ein.Chuuy
awast ooti
redtoar
guewi t
hhi
s
f
ormerpart
neranymoreandsankint
oDazai’
sarms.

“Fine,”hegr
umbled.“Buti
fyout
ryany
thi
ngf
unny
,I’
m
kickingyououti
nstantl
y.”

Dazaihummedinagreementandqui
ckl
yfell
asl
eep,
l
eavingChuuy
awithonlyhi
sthought
sforcompany.
*
**

Thet wof ell

backintot
hefamil
iarr
outi
netheyhad
establi
shedmanyy ear
sago,t
heonlydif
fer
encebeingthat
theynol ongerheadedint
hesamedi r
ecti
onafterexi
ti
ng
thebuilding.

“Tr
ynottogetcaughtbyt
hepoli
ceChuuy
a~~”wasthe
far
ewel
lthatmetChuuya’
sear
sev er
ymorni
ngast
hey
part
edways.

“
Hahy
ouwi
shshi
tt
ybast
ard.
”

Thefamili
ari
tyoftherouti
nebot hrelaxedandt er
ri
fied
Chuuya.Hewonder edhowl ongDazai wouldstaythist
ime
befor
esuddenlyvanishi
ngagainwi thoutawor d.He
pushedthethoughtfrom hi
smi ndanddeci dedtofocuson
theti
mehehadwi ththebrunetri
ghtnowr egardl
essof
howshorttomayendupbei ng.

Despi
tehi
sat
tempt
s,doubtcont
inuedt
oli
ngeri
ntheback
ofhi
smi
nd.

Chuuyaexhal
edandst
eppedi
ntoMor
i’
sof
fi
cer
eadyt
o
faceanot
herday
.

“
Bossy
ousummonedme?

*
**

Chuuyaenteredtheapartmentaft
eralongday .Herol
led
backhisshouldersinatt
emptstorel
i
ev ehimselfofhi
s
exhaust
ionaswel lasthetol
lsoft
heday s.Dazaihad
al
readyarr
ivedbef or
ehim andwasseatedont hecoach.

Thebr unetmotionedforChuyatocomeov erwi

thhishand.
Chuuyaappr oachedtheotherper
plexedbythesudden
request.

“
Whatdoy
ouwantDaz
ai.
”
Dazai
pat
tedhi
slap.

“
SitdownChuuy
a~”

“
Ha?Whywoul
dIdosuchat
hing.
”

Bandagedhandscont
inuedt
omot
ionhi
m cl
oser
.“Justdo
i
tChuuyaaaaaa.
”

Grumbling,Chuuy
asatdownwi
thhi
sbackt
owar
dst
he
detect
ive.

“
Nowwhat
-“

Hist
houghtswerecutshor
tashef
eltabr
ushgent
ly
combingt
hroughhishai
r.

Dazai
soft
lyhummed.“
Thi
sal
way
shel
psy
our
elaxdoesn’
t
i
tChuuya?
”
Thebr
unetpul
ledChuuyahi
gheront
ohislapandbegant
o
undot
hetangl
esfrom t
hesi
lky
,auburnhai
r.

“Justrel
axandcloseyoureyes.Youl
ookterr
ibl
e
nowaday s.Whatwoul
dane-sansayifshesawy oui
nsuch
astate.”

“Tch-mindyourownbusi
nessDazai
,”Chuuy
aret
ortedbut
nonethel
essleanedi
ntot
hesoot
hingandcomfor
ting
sensati
on.

Dazaiof
tenbrushedhishairbackwhentheywerest
il
l
knownas‘Soukoku’.Nost
algiafi
l
ledChuuyaashe
rememberedtheirear
lymafiadays.

“
OiDazai
.”

“
Whati
sitChuuy
a?”
Hesl
i
ght
lypaused.

“
Do-
”

AnotherpausebrokeChuuy a’
ssentenceashedebat ed
aski
ngDazai abouthowhewasdoi ngnowt hathewas
fr
eefrom thePortMafia.Sil
encefi
ll
edtheroom asChuuy a
str
uggledwithneedi
ngt oknowDazai wasdoi ngwelland
notwishi
ngt oconfi
rm hisabsenceinthebrunet’
sli
fe
meantlit
tl
etohim.

“
Chuuy
a?”

Theredheadsighedashegav
eintohisconcer
nandneed
toconfi
rm Dazai
’swel
l-
bei
ngevenift
heknowledgewoul
d
cuthi
mt othecore.

“
Doy
ouenj
oyy
ourl
i
featt
heagency
.”

“
I’
ll
havet
osayit’
samuchl
i
vel
i
erpl
acet
hant
hePor
t
Mafi
aatl
east
.”
“
Arey
ouhappyt
her
e.”

Thesof
tbr
usheshal
tedasDazai
tookawhi
l
etor
espond.

“
Iam.
”

I
gnor
ingt
hef
aintachewi
thi
nhi
m,Chuuy
ahuf
fed.

“
Thenwhyar eyouwasti
ngy
ourt
imeher
e.Won’ty
ou
r
egretspendi
ngyourday
swit
hadyi
ngperson.
”

ThepresenceofDazai
’shandsinhishairl
efthi
m asthe
bandagesarmswrappedthemselvesaroundhiswaist
.
Dazainuzzl
edthetopofChuuya’
sheadgent ly
.

Aqui
etr
esponsewaswhi
sper
edi
ntohi
shai
r.

“
I’
ll
nev
err
egr
etspendi
ngmyday
swi
thy
ouChuuy
a.”
 

Summer

Spring’swar m day sgav eintothecomi ngsummer ’

sheat
asitbr oughtt herainyseasonwi t
hi t.Chuuy awat chedthe
rai
nspl att
eront othewi ndowsast hedr oplet sdr enched
thecitybeneat hthem.Hi sincreasingf orget f
ul nessand
exhaust i
onpr eventedhimf rom attendingwor k, andev enif
hewant edt o,Mor ihadgivenhi m anext endedl eav euntil
hewasphy sicall
ycapabl eofper f
or mingt he
responsi bil
it
ieshehel dasanexecut i
ve.Hehadbeen
rel
uct anttol eavegivenhowbusyt hingswer e, butwi t
h
Kouy ou’ surging,Chuuy ahadev entuallygiv eni n.Nowhe
spentmostofhi sday swat chi
ngt her ainfal lwhi le
l
isteningt oitspat t
eringagainstthewi ndows.Hewi shed
therai nwoul dwashawayhi sfati
gueandl ullhi mt osleep.

Thegl
oomyov
ercastpr
event
edmostoft
hesunl
i
ghtf
rom
br
eaki
ngint
otheli
vi
ngroom,butaf
ewr aysmanagedto
hi
tChuuy
a’sskybl
ueey
es.Shif
ti
ngaround,Chuuy
aclosed
hi
seyesi
nattempt
stoblockt
heint
rusi
onfrom hi
sface.

Itwasoneoft hoser aredayswher eDazai di

dn’thaveany
tasksatwor k,
notthatt hebrunetwouldhav egoneev enif
hehadt o.Dazaihatedt herai
n,clai
mingt hatt
hehumi dit
y
madehi shairfr
izzyandcl i
ngont ohim whichruinedhis
goodlooksaswel l
ashi schancesofobt aini
ngadoubl e
suici
dewi t
habeaut ifulmaiden.

Chuuyaknewbet ter.Dazai ’
sexcusemayf oolot
hers, but
Chuuyaknewt hereal reasonwhyt hebandageddet ectiv
e
despi
sedtherain.Ithadbeenpour ingthedayOdadi ed.
Theheavydropletsr emindedt hebrunetofhi
sfai
lure
causi
nghimt ocur lupinbedandsl eeptoavoi
dhis
memor i
es.Chuuyaknewt hisbett
erthananyoneelse.

Theredheaddraggedhi sfat
iguedbodyintothebedroom
whereDazaislept.Seei
nghispeacefulfacestr
uckachord
ofenvyinChuuy aashewasn’ tablet
osleephimselfto
escapereal
it
yanyl onger.Hesighedandcareful
lysl
ipped
underthecoversbesidesDazai t
oavoidwakinghim up
andbr
ushedawayt
hebr
ownbangscov
eri
nghi
sface.

Therewasnoquest ionthatDazai wasi ndeedatt

racti
ve.
Hisfl
uf f
ybr ownhai rthatl
ookedsof ttothetouchalong
withhistwinklingeyesandcat chingsmi l
emadehi m
physical
lyverydesirable.Despi t
et hei
rmanyy ears
together,Chuuy ahadnev erreall
ygot t
enagoodl ookat
Dazai’sfacewhenhewasasl eep.Curiosit
ycompelledhi
m
todrawal i
ttl
ecloser .

Thebr unet’slonglashesnear l
ytouchedhi scheekswhi l
e
hischestf ell
rhythmicall
ywithhisbr eathi
ng. His
bandageswer eslight
lylooseandwer ebeginningto
unravelfrom hisneckandar ms,revealingt
hepal eskin
beneathit.Chuuy anev erunderst
oodt hepur posebehind
Dazai wrappinghi mselfupli
keamummy .I
twoul d
probablybeoneoft hoset hi
ngshenev erwould
understandgi venDazai ’
ssecreti
venat urewhenitcamet o
himself.Chuuy awonder edhowt heyev enmadei tt
hisfar
together.

Dazai
sti
rredi
nhissleepandrol
l
edoverontohi
sback.
Pushi
ngthebrunet
’swavybangsoutofhi
sfaceonce
more,
Chuuyasoft
lyl
aughedatDazai
’
schil
dli
kef
acewhen
hi
seyesdri
ft
edtowar
dsthewindow.Pal
eblueeyessl
owl
y
wi
dened.

“
Dazai
!
”

Chuuy
ashookt
hesl
eepi
ngf
igur
e.

“
Dazai
wakeup.
”

“
Mrgh?
?”

Dazaigr
oggi
lyr
ubbedhisey
esashesatup.Yawni
nghe
tur
nedtowar
dstheother
.

“
What
’swr
ongChuuy
a?”

Chuuy
apoi
ntedt
owar
dst
hewi
ndow.
“
Dazai
,l
ook.I
t’
ssnowi
ng.
”

Thebrunetbl
i
nkedinconf
usi
on.“
Chuuy
awhat
.It
’st
he
middl
eofsummer .
”

Gi
venChuuya’
sper
sist
entcl
aimsofsnow,
Dazai
lookedi
n
t
hedir
ect
ionChuuy
awaspoi nt
ing.

Greyskieswithacloudyovercastgreetedhim asr ai
nfel
l
fr
om theheav ensashewasexpect ing.Notasi nglefl
ake
ofsnowi nsight.Heranahandt hr
oughhi shair,sti
ll
confusedast owhyChuyawoul dwakeuphi m whensnow
duri
ngt hesummerwasunhear dof.Theexecut i
v eshoul
d
knowi twasimpossiblef
orthefrozenwat ertofallgiv
en
summer ’
sheat.

Helookedoutsidethewi ndowt henbacktoChuuy a.Ami x

ofconfusi
onandwonderl ituphissapphir
eey esas
Dazai’
sheartsl
ightl
ysank.I nhissl
eepdepr i
vedstate,the
pouri
ngrainmixedwi ththecloudyskygav eofftheill
usion
ofwhitesnowscat t
eringfrom theheavenstocoatt he
wait
ingcit
yinabl anketofwhi t
e.Thepoundingoft he
dropl
etsagai
nstt hewindowshouldhav ealert
edChuuy a
thati
twasindeedr ai
nnotsnow, butafterseei
ngt he
executi
ve’
sface,Dazaicouldn’
tbri
nghimsel ft
ot ell
Chuuyathetruth.Ali
stofthesy mpt
omsChuuy awoul d
experi
encegivenhisgrowinginsomniaechoedi ntheback
ofhisheadwhenav oi
cepul l
edhim outofhisthoughts.

“
Dazai
let
’sgoout
.Wehav
en’
tbeenouti
nthesnowsi
nce
wewereki
ds.
”

Ther
equestbr
oughtpani
cint
oDazai
’
smi
nd.

“
AhChuuya~ifwegoout
,you’
ll
endupwit
haf
evergi
ven
t
hatt
err
ibl
eimmunesyst
em ofyour
s.”

Api
l
lowwaschuckedathi
sfacet
aki
nghi
sbr
eat
haway
.

“Shutyourmout
h.Thatwasonet
imewhenwewer
eli
ke
nine.
”

“
Ehhh,
butChuuy
ast
il
ll
ookst
hesameashedi
dwhenhe
wasni
ne.
”

“
SHUT-
“

Laughterfil
l
edtheroom asChuuyaslowlyfor
gotabout
wishingtoseethesnowasDazai conti
nuedtoteasehi
m.
Relieff
loodedi
ntohim.Hedidn’
twanttoseepai n
fl
ickeri
nginChuuya’
salr
eadywornoutey es.

*
**

Eversincethatonegloomysummerday ,Chuuy a
ment i
onedseei ngsnowalmosteveryevening,alway
s
stat
ingitwast heoddestthinghe’
deverexper i
enced
duri
ngt hesummer .Dazaicouldonl
ynodi nagreement,
unabletobringhimselft
ot ell
Chuuyathetruth.

‘
Asl ongasit’
snothurti
nghim,Idon’
t’
seewhynot  
,
’Dazai
thoughtashewatchedChuuy asiti
nfr
ontofthewindow,
glassofwineinhand.Chuuyaspentmostofhisdays
sitt
ingonthecouchclearl
yexhaust
edbutunablet
ogive
i
ntohisbody’
sdesir
etosleep.Theredheadalways
greet
edhimfrom t
heli
vi
ngwhenDazai ret
urnedeven
duri
ngungodl
yhoursofthemor ni
ng.

Dazaiwal
kedint
otheapar
tmentexpect
ingt
ofi
ndChuuy
a
si
tt
ingonthecouchl
ikeal
ways.

“
Chuuy
aI’
m back-
“

Asuddenbur
stofmovementcaughthi
sey
easChuuy
a
t
hrewhimsel
fatDazai
.

“
AwwChuuy aaa~Didyoumissmethatmuch?
”hej
oki
ngl
y
t
eased,
braci
nghimsel
ffort
heinsul
tst
hatwer
esur
eto
f
oll
ow.

I
nst
ead,
Chuuy
acl
ungont
ohi
mtr
embl
i
ngl
i
keal
eaf
.

“Chuuy
a? ”Theexecut
ive’
soddbehav
iorper
plexedDaz
ai
asheli
ftedChuuya’sf
acet owar
dshi
s.
Sof
tey
esquest
ionedhi
m.“
Whathappened.
”

Chuuy
aletoutashakybr
eat
h.

“Corrupti
on…Dazai …Corrupt
ion…”Hi sv oi
cefell
toa
whisper.“Corrupti
on’sstandingrightthere.I
t’
sjust
standingtherewi t
houtawor dsmi l
ing.
Dazai..
.Dazai
..There’
s….There’ssomuchbl ooddrinking
downf r
om it
.From itsempt yhollowey esockets,it
snose,
i
tspeel i
ngskinr eveal
ingther ot
ti
ngmuscl ebeneath.
Dazai-”

“
Chuuy
acal
m down.
”

Chuuy ashookhishead.“Dazai
..
.i
t.
..
itlookster
ri
fyi
ng.
”His
voicefel
levenlower.“
DoIr eal
l
ylookl i
kethatwhenIuseit.
Blooddrippi
ngdownf rom myhands, eyesandmout hwit
h
j
ustt hewhitesofmyteethshowingasmyl i
pspulli
ntoan
i
nsanesmi l
e.”
Thegr
iponDazai
’
scl
othest
ight
ened.“
Dazai
..
.Cor
rupt
ion’
s
-
“

Abandagedhandgr
abbedChuuya’
scheeksf
orci
nghi
s
pal
eblueeyest
omeetDazai
’s.

“
Chuuy
a.Cor
rupt
ioni
sn’
ther
e.”

“
ButDazai
-“

“Chuuya.”
 Thefi
rmt onei
nthebr
unet
’sv
oicecaught
Chuuya’sattent
ion.

“
Cor
rupti
onisn’
ther
e.Mynul
l
ifi
cati
onabi
l
ityl
eav
esno
r
oom f
orerr
or.Youknowt
hatalr
eady.
”

Chuuy
aletoutanot
hershakybr
eat
handnodded.“
Iknow.
”

Dazaipull
edChuuyacl
osertohi
m waiti
ngforthe
execut
ivetof
inal
lycal
m down.Theysepar
atedafter
several
minut
es.Chuuyastar
edoffintothedir
ecti
on
wherecorr
upti
onhadbeenst andi
ng,andashyf i
nger
wrappedit
sel
faroundDazai’
sownwi thoutaword.Asmi
l
e
tuggedatt
hebrunet’
sli
psasDazai f
ullyhel
dChuuya’
s
hand.

“
Let
’sgot
obed.I
t’
sget
ti
ngl
ate.
”

Chuuyal ayinbedbesi dest hesoftl

ybr eathingbrunet.
Dazaihadf all
enasl eepratherquickl
yinst eadofr eading
hissuici
demanual forhour sbeforehewoul devent uall
y
fal
lasleep.Hegl ancedathi sphone, squintingatthe
bri
ghtnesst hathithisface.

4:
36am.

Chuuyar
eturnedhisphonetothebedsidetabl
eand
shuf
fl
edclosertowardsthesl
eepi
ngfigure.

Afl
utt
eryki
ssl
andedonDazai
’
sfor
ehead,
andChuuy
a
whi
speredi
nalowvoi
ce.
“
Happybi
rt
hday
,Dazai
.”

*
**

Thewispysmoket
rai
l
edaf
terhi
m ev
enasChuuy
abacked
away
.

“
Whywon’
tyoul
eav
emeal
one!
”

Bl
ackdustswi rl
edaroundti
ll
theshapeofaper sonst
ood
i
nfrontofhim.Acr uell
aught
erfi
ll
edtheairasthesmoke
melt
edof fthefi
gureandpooledatit
sfeetinpuddl
esof
moltendarkness.

Chuuy
a’sbreathcaughti
nhi
sthr
oatashest
ared,
disbel
i
ef
fi
l
li
nghissky-bl
ueeyes.

Hi
scor
rupt
edsel
ftaunt
edhi
m.
“HowcanIl
eav
eyoual
onewhenwe’
ret
hesameper
son,
Chuuy
a.”

Corrupt
ionappr
oachedhim asChuuyasl
owlyconti
nuedt
o
backawayt i
l
lhefel
thisbackhitt
hewall
.Icecol
dhands
tookhisownandpeeledoffhisbl
ackgl
oves.

“Lookhowmuchbl oodisonyourhandsChuuya.Look
howmanyy ou’
vekill
ed.Howcouldanyonestandtobeby
yoursi
dewhenyou’vebecomeso…. ”Cor
rupt
ionleaned
i
ntohisear
.“ 
Taint
ed.”

Hi
shandscl
enchedi
ntofi
stsastheyf
ell
tohi
ssides.
Dr
awi
nginadeepbreat
h,Chuuyamethisabi
l
ityheadon.

“
Dazai
isst
il
lher
e.”

Thedar
kshadowletoutasadi
sti
csoundt
hatsentshi
ver
s
downChuuy
a’sspi
ne.

“
Dazai
?Dazai
isnol
ongerher
e,”i
twhi
sper
ed.Acol
dhand
y
ankedhi
mf or
wardandturnedhi
m ar
ound.“
Don’
tyou
r
emember.
 Youki
l
ledhi
m  .
”

Chuuyastaredinhorr
oratDazai
’smangledbody.Deepr
ed
bl
oodleachedoutoft hedeepgashesasli
fel
esseyes
st
aredoffintonothi
ng.

“
No…St
op.
..
Icoul
dn’
thav
e…”

Cor
rupt
ionwr
appedanar
m ar
oundhi
sshaki
ngf
igur
e.

“
Don’
tyouseeChuuy
a. 
You’
renot
hingbutamonst
er 
.”

Chuuyasl
ashedatt
hesmokesur
roundi
nghi
m wi
thhi
s
kni
fe.

“
SHUTUP!
”

Asuddenj
erkonhi
sar
myankedChuuy
abacki
ntor
eal
i
ty.
“
Chuuy
a!”

Dazai’
sconcernedv
oicebroughtt
heexecut
ivebacktohi
s
sense.Mental
l
yexhausted,Chuuy
agaveDazaiaquick
glancebef
orecrumpli
ngontothefl
oor
.

“
Chuuy
a?!
”

Thebr
unetfel
ltohi
skneesaswel
landknel
tbesi
det
he
tr
embl
ingfi
gure.Worr
yfi
ll
edhi
shazel
nutey
es.

“
Didy
ouhav
eanot
herhal
l
uci
nat
ion.
”

Chuuyanodded.“
Dazai.
.y
ou.
.y
oudi
ed…Iki
ll
edy ou.”Hi
s
sent
encesconti
nuedtocomeouti
nshakybreaths.
“Cor
rupt
ion-
“

Tenderhandsr
ant
hroughhi
shai
rcauseshi
mtosl
i
ght
ly
rel
ax.
“
I’
m st
il
lhereChuuy
a.Youdi
dn’
tki
llme,
”Dazair
eassured.
Abandagedhandmadeit
swayint
ohisown.“Corr
upti
on
i
sn’
there.
”

Thebrunetputonacheer
fulsmil
e.“Besi
des,asl
ongasI
touchyouli
kethi
s,y
oucan’tuseyourabi
li
ty,
which
i
ncludescorr
upti
on.

Closi
nghisey
es,Chuuy
asanki
ntoDazai
’schesttr
yingto
shakethehor
ri
blei
mageofbl
oodandli
felesseyesfrom
hi
smi nd.

Dazaiglanceddownattheshaki
ngf orm ashel
ooked
aroundtheroom.Chair
shadbeent urnedoverwi
thbooks
scatt
eredov ert
hef
loor
,andshardsofglassgli
tt
eredi
n
theli
ght.

HeheldChuuy aclosertohim,thankful
hehadmadei t
befor
etheredheadphy sical
lyhurthi
mself.Theexecutiv
e
oft
enhall
ucinatedaboutseeingcor r
upti
onst andi
ngbefore
hi
m, t
aunti
nghi m ofhissinsandinadequateness.Despit
e
allthat,neverhadChuuy atornthr
oughtheroom i
n
attempt stofightagainsttheloomingabil
i
ty.Hi
sgripon
Chuuy a’ssli
ghtlyshakingfigureti
ght
enedashepul l
ed
Chuuy aev encloser.ThishadbeenChuuy a’swor
st
reactiontoahal luci
nationyet.

Aut
umn

Summer ’
sgoldenhuessl owlycrepti
ntotheleavesas
autumnmadei tspresenceknown.Ast hemont hs
progr
essed,
Chuuy adeterior
atedfast
erandf ast
erashe
rapi
dlyl
ostweightrenderi
nghim alwaysfati
guedand
barel
yablet
ospeak.

Dazaiwrappedhisscar
faroundhi
sneckabi
tti
ghter
,
pr
otecti
ngitfr
om thewind’
sbit
e.Hecoul
dn’
taf
fordtoget
si
ck,notwithChuuyaal
readysophysi
cal
l
yweak.The
executi
ve’sinsomniahadprogressi
vel
ygottenwor set o
thepointChuuy awasunabletosleepatall
.Dazaibi tdown
onhislipinfrustr
ati
on.Hehadgonet oYosanof or
i
nformationaboutChuuy a’
sconditi
ononlytoretur
nwi th
whatheal readyknew.Shetol
dhi mtheonlythinghewas
abletodof orChuuyanowwast okeephisascomf ortabl
e
aspossible.

Thebr unetfelthi
sfrust
rati
onriseupasher ef
lect
edonhis
ownhel plessness.Regardl
essofwhatl i
fehadthr
ownat
hi
m, heal waysmanagedt ofi
ndsoluti
onswithease.
Howev er,Dazai f
oundhishandst i
edbehindhisback,
unabletodoany thi
ngbutwatchassl eepdepri
vat
ion
sl
owlyconsumedChuuy abothphy si
call
yandment al
l
y.

Dazai
openedt
hedoort
otheapar
tment
.“Chuuy
a,I
’
m
home~”

Fal
secheerechoedt
hroughther
oom,
andDazai
cri
nged
att
hesoundofhisownv oi
ce.

Sl
owl
ybl
i
nki
ngopenhi
sey
es,
Chuuy
agr
eet
edhi
mfr
om
t
hel
i
vingr
oom.

“
..
wel
..
comeb.
.back,
Dazai
.”

ThebrunetwalkedovertoChuuya’ssi
deandsatdown.
TakingChuuya’
scoldhandintohisown,Dazai
restedhi
s
headagainstChuuya’
s,aski
ngthesamequestionhe
askedeveryday.

“
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
”

Chuuyashi
ftedhisheadtomeetDazai’
sey es.Exhaust
ion
l
acedhisnormall
ysparkli
ngsapphi
reeyes.Theexecutive
rest
edbackagainstDazai
’sshoul
derbefor
ewhi speri
ng
outhisr
esponse.

“
Tir
ed.
”

Thedetect
ivecoul
donlybringanar
m aroundtheot
her
’s
head,
drawinghim cl
oserandsil
ent
lycomfort
inghi
mthe
bestt
hathecould.
Thetwosatinsi
l
enceasDazai
waspr
eoccupi
edwi
thhi
s
thought
sandChuuyahi
sown.

Thef
ir
sttobreakt
hequi
etat
mospher
esur
roundt
hem
wasChuuya.

“
D-azai
?”

“
Hm?
”Hehummedi
nresponse.

Sof
thai
rti
ckl
edDazai
’
scheekasChuuayt
urnedt
oface
hi
m.

“
I.
.Iw-
wantt
ose-
ethesun.
.set
.”

Tof
feeey
eswi
denedatt
her
equest
.

“
Chuuy
adoy
out
hinky
ou’
reupf
ori
t?”
Dazaicouldn’
thel
pt heconcernl
acedi nhi
sv oi
ceev en
thoughheknewt heotherwouldnotice.Chuuya’
srapid
weightlossaccompaniedbyhisinabil
it
ytosleephad
weakenedhi mtosuchadegr eeDazai worr
iedastrong
gustofwi ndwoul
dknockt hepeti
teexecutiveoverl
ikea
deli
catepaperdoll
.

Chuuyamerelyscof
fedatDazai ’
sdoubt .“
Ofcour-seIa-
am.Iw-wouldn’
tsug.
.gestiti
fIwasn’ t
.Besides…”Chuuya
gaveDazaiatir
edsmile.“
Ifi-
itget
st ob-betoomuch…
you’
ll
c-car
rymewon’ tyouDa…zai ?
”

Thebr
unetchuckl
ed.“
Ofcour
seChuuy
a.”

Dazaiunwrappedhimselffr
om Chuuya’ssideand
proceededtograbt
heircoats.Hehador i
ginal
l
yreached
forChuuya’
ssignat
ureblackcoatbutremember edthe
bit
ingwindandgrabbedat hi
ckercoatofhisown.

Hethr
ewtheclot
hinChuuya’
sdirect
ion,
ignor
ingt
he
compl
aint
sabouthor
ri
blef
ashionsense.
“Mysenseoff ashi
onismuchbet terthanyoursChuuy a,
”
Dazairetort
edasheappr oachedtheexecutivewithascarf
i
nhand.Thebr unetwrappedt hesoftgreyfabri
caround
Chuuya’sneck, once,
twice,assapphireeyeswat chedhi
m
wit
houtpr otest.

Conf
usionfl
icker
edacrosstheredhead’
sfaceashe
br
oughtthescarfupt
ohi snose.

“
Dazai
…thi
s..s-
smel
l
sli
key
ou.
”

“
That
’sbecausei
tismi
neChuuy
a.”

Theexecut
ivegl
aredathi
m.“
Why’d…y
ouwr
apm-
mewi
th
your
s..
w-whenIhavem-myown.
”

“Yourscar
fwoul
dn’tgowellwit
ht hecoatyou’
rewear
ing,
”
herespondedwi
thouttur
ningaround.“Besi
des,mi
ne’
s
warmeranyway.
”
Dazaipr
oceededt
owrapChuuy
a’sscarfar
oundhi
sown
neckandopenedt
hedoort
otheapartment.

“
Bet
terhur
ryChuuy
a,orwe’
l
lmi
ssi
t.
”

*
**

Thephysi
cal burdenofwal
kinginhisweakenedcondit
ion
soonprovedtobet oomuchf orChuuya.Unabl
etoignore
hi
sstrai
nedbr eathi
nganyl
onger,Dazaibentdownand
moti
onedf orChuuyatocli
mbont ohisback.

Bl
ushi
ngsl
i
ght
ly,
Chuuy
aobl
i
ged,
tooexhaust
edt
opr
otest
.

“
Youknow…I
-Iwason.
.l
yjok-
kingr
ight
.”

Dazail
aughedatthestat
ement
.“Wel
lChuuy
a,y
oumay
havebeen,butIwasn’
t.
”

Thebr
unetcont
inueddownt
hepat
hleadi
ngt
othebeach
asChuuyaburi
edhisfacei
ntoDazai
’sback,
rest
inghi
s
facecomfor
tabl
ybetweenhi
sshoulderbl
ades.

Theslowlychangingcolor
soft heskyfrom bluetoalight
pi
nkalert
edDazai oftherapidl
ypassingti
me.Wi theach
stephetook,theburdeninhisheartonl
ygrewheav ierand
heavi
erincontrastt
ot heweightonhisback.Dazai had
al
way scomplainedabouthowheav ythepet i
teexecutiv
e
wasdespitehisshortstat
ure,butnow,hecoul dhardl
ytell
hewascar r
yingsomeoneatal l.

Thesalt
ysmelloftheoceangreetedt
hem astheydrew
cl
osertothebeach.Seagul
l
scriedastheyfl
ewoffintothe
hor
izonwhil
ethesoundoft hebusyci
tyrangbehi
ndt hem.

Dazai
nudgedChuuy
agent
ly.“
We’
reher
e.”

Toowornouttor
espondv er
ball
y,theexecuti
veonl
y
noddedi
nacknowledgement.Dazaidi
dn’tneedtohear
whatChuuy
awantedt osaytounderst
andwhathemeant .
Thecloudsglowedor angeunderthesett
ingsun’sray
sas
theskyshift
edfrom asoftpi
nkt oagoldenred.Thescene
tookDazai’
sbreathawayashecamet ounderstandwhy
Chuuy awassofondofwat chingthesunsli
pbehi ndt
he
hori
zon.Henudgedt heexecutiv
eoncemor east hegolden
orbslowlybeganit
sdescent.

Chuuyameekl
ylif
tedhisheadf r
om Dazai’
sshoul
derand
watchedt
hesunbi dfarewel
ltotheci
ty,
itsdyi
ngray
s
cat
chingi
nhisceruleaneyes.

Thetwowatchedt
hefinal
glowssli
pbehindthehor
izon
wit
honlyt
hesoundsofseagull
s,t
hecit
y,andthecr
ashing
ofthewav
estokeepthem company.

Dazai
broket
hesi
l
enceasni
ghtf
ell
upont
hem.

“
NehChuuy
a…”

“
Mm?
”
“
Ify
oucoul
dwi
shf
oronet
hing,
whatwoul
ditbe?
”

Uponaskingt
hequest i
on,Dazai
hadbeenexpecti
ng
Chuuyatothi
nkforamomentort wobefor
eanswer i
ng,
buti
nsteadChuuyarespondedalmosti
mmediatel
y.

“
D-doy oure.
.mem..bert
hech-
err
ybl
os.
.somswesawt
-
t
oget.
.heraschil
-dr
en.”

“
Ido.Thepl
acewher
eMor
i-
sanandAne-
sant
ookus
r
ight
?”

“
Mm.I
..
Iwantt
ovi
sit
…ther
eagai
n.”

Dazail
etoutabreathyl
augh.“
Tot hi
nkoneofthePor
t
Mafia’
smostfearsomeexecut
iveswantstogofl
ower
watchi
ng.
”

Chuuyagent
lyr
ammedhi
schi
nint
othet
all
erone’
s
shoul
der.
“
Shut
…upD-
dazai
.Whatw-
woul
dyou…wi
shf
or.
”

Asi
lentt
eartri
ckl
eddownDazai’
scheekashetur
nedhis
f
aceoutofChuuy a’
sli
neofsi
ght
,prev
ent
ingt
heother
f
rom cat
chingi
t.Contempl
ati
nghi
sanswerafew
momentslonger,
Dazaihummed.

“
I’
dwi
shf
or-
“

*
**

Starsbl
i
nkedi nthenightskyasDazai
carr
iedChuuyaback
totheapartment.Withoutt
hesun’
swar mt
h,thewindf
elt
evencolderthanithadduringt
heday.

Aft
erhearingChuuy asneeze,Dazaist
oppedontheedge
ofthesidewalk.SlowlyheletChuuy
adownandt hr
ewhis
coataroundther edhead’
sshoulder
sbeforepi
cki
nghim
backup.
“Ane-sanwil
lskewermewithherkatanai
fyougetsi
ck
from all
thi
s,
”heexplai
nedastheyconti
nuedtowar
dsthe
apart
ment .

Findingcomfor
tinthebrunet
’swarmth,Chuuyakepthi
s
foreheadagai
nstDazai
’sbackwithoutst
ir
ring.

I
twasn’
tti
l
lDazai
abr
upt
lyst
opped,
Chuuy
alookedup.

“LookChuuya…”Dazai
shi
ft
edt hewei
ghtonhi
sbackand
stret
chedoutoneofhi
shands.“I
t’
ssnowi
nginNovember
.
Howoddi sthat
.”

Theexecut
ivesi
mplyl
oweredhi
sheadbackontoDazai’
s
shoul
derbl
ade,seemi
ngl
yunimpressedbyt
heunnat
ural
ly
ti
medphenomenon.

“Whatar…eyout
alk.
.i
ngaboutD.
.aza.
.i
…it
’sal
way
s
snow..
ing.
”

Dazai
fel
thi
sbr
eat
hcat
chi
nhi
sthr
oatast
hest
atement
caughthi
m of
fguar
d.

“
Ahy
ou’
rer
ightChuuy
a.I
tal
way
sissnowi
ng.
”

Thetwohadal mostr
eachedtheapar
tmentwhenthe
st
il
lnessoftheni
ghtbrokeoncemoreasasoftv
oice
whisper
edintoDazai
’
sear .

“
Than.
.ky
ou”

Dazai
clenchedhi
sjawev
ersosl
i
ght
lyanddi
dn’
trespond.

I
tfel
ttoomuchl
i
kegoodby
e.

Wi
nter
Thesof t“
thankyou”spokeninthemidstofthequi et
autumnnightasthelastti
meDazai heardChuuy a’
sv oi
ce.
Ast hedaysgrewshorterandcolder
,Chuuya’svoice
becameweakerandweakert i
ll
itfi
nall
ydisappeared
al
together.

Dazai spentmostofhi sday sinsi

lence,performi nghi
s
dail
ytaskswi t
houtt heother’scompany .Chuuy a’sbody
eventuallygrewt or ej
ectfoodallt
oget herwhichonl y
addedt ohisr apidwei ghtl
oss.Thedet ecti
v eoftenate
al
onei nt helivi
ngr oom whi l
esearchi
ngf ornewsabout
Chuuy a’sil
lnessi nhopest hatacurehadbeendi scovered.
Nothingnewev erappeared.Heknewi twasf uti
letokeep
hoping, t
okeepl ongingforami r
acle,andy et,Dazai
couldn’tbri
nghi msel ftogiveupcompl etel
y .Notwheni t
camet oChuuy a.

Dazaimadehi swayt owar dsthecur l

ed-upfigur eonthe
couch.Hav i
ngl osthi
sabili
tytowal kinadditiont ohi
s
speech,Chuuy a’ssol
emet hodofcommuni cat i
onlay
wit
hingent l
etouchesandsof tgazesleavingi tuptoDazai
toint
erprethisthoughts.Luckil
y,al
l t
hosey ear sspent
toget
herprov
ednotinvai
nasDazaimanagedto
underst
andChuuy
a’sthought
sascl
ear
lyasift
heywer
e
hisown.

Hepi ckedupabeauti
ful
l
yembroider
edquil
tthathadbeen
tossedov ert
othesi
deandwrappedthesoftfabr
icar
ound
Chuuy a’
sbody.

“Youknowbettert
hantonotusethequi
ltane-
sanmade
foryou,
”Dazai
gentlyt
easedasChuuya’
stir
edeyesgl
ared
athi
m withasmuchbitehecoul
dputintothem.

Thequi l
tdepictedt
wobirdsthesameshadeasChuuy a’
s
eyespercheduponabr anchwhilesnowgentlyf
ell
around
them.Thescenewasasi mpleone,butwit
hKouyou’s
eleganttechni
que,thel
ongerDazaist
ared,t
hemor ei
t
seemedasi fthebi
rdswereabouttotakef
li
ghtanyminut
e.

Chuuyakepthiseyesclosed,
ignor
ingDazai
asthebrunet
dr
ewt hequil
thigherupontoChuuya’
sform,cov
eri
nghis
mouthintheprocess.
“
Wer
en’
tyoucol
dany
wayChuuy
a?”

Dazaiwasnost r
angert othesil
encethatgreet
edhis
quest
ion,andyet,
hecoul dn’
thelpbutfeelasli
ghttugin
thebott
om ofhisheart.Asmuchashewoul dneveradmit
i
t,hemissedthesoundofChuuy a’
svoice,whetheritwas
spouti
nginsul
tsnonstoporj ustsi
mplycall
inghisname.

Theexecut iv
ewearil
yopenedhiseyesandbl i
nkedhis
thanksbef or
eburyi
nghisfacebackintothesoftcover
s.
Thedar kbagsunderChuuy a’
seyes,sunkenincheekbones,
andpalef aceonlyser
vedaspainful
r eminder
softhe
redhead’sexhausti
on.

Dazai gentl
ypulledt
hequiltoverhimselfasheset tled
besidesChuuy a.Hereceiv
edanot herlook, butt
he
softnessinChuuy a’
snormallypier
cingey esbetrayedhis
i
nnert houghts.Thebrunetsmiledashedr ewclosertothe
other,feel
i
ngt heweightofthequiltcoveri
ngt hem both.

Thetwosatinsi
l
encewi
thonl
ythesnowgent
lyf
all
i
ng
out
sideascompany.
Everslowl y
,Chuuy aleanedhisbodyagai nstDazai’
s
shoulder,agestureheof t
endiddur inghissleepl
ess
nightswhenDazai wasst il
lapar tofthePor tMafi
a.In
response, t
hebrunetr eachedov erandgent lyhel
d
Chuuy a’
shand.Hef elttheredhead’sf i
ngerstwit
chatthe
unexpect edcontactandcoul dn’thelpbutsadlysmi l
eat
theact i
on.EvenifChuuy awasunabl etowalk,hesti
ll
reachedt oDazai’
st ouch.

Att
hispoi
nt,
itwast
hel
i
ttl
ethi
ngst
hatmat
ter
edt
hemost
.

Beinginsuchcl oseproximit
ytotheexhaust edexecutive,
Dazai couldmakeoutt hegentleri
seandf allofChuuya’s
chestmov i
ngintimewi t
heachbr eath.Hesqueezed
Chuuy a’
shandev ersosl i
ghtl
y.Chuuy awasal waysthe
warmeroft hetwoandt hebrunetoftenusedChuuy ahasa
personal heat
ergiventheother’
sshor tstaturemadei t
perfecttocuddlehim underhischinwhensl eeping.But
now, Chuuy afel
ttoocooltothetouch, andDazai f
ound
hi
msel fpulli
ngtheexecutiveevencloseri nattemptsto
sharehisbodyheat .
Whenmetwithaquesti
oninggaze,
thedetecti
vet
ookt
he
oppor
tuni
tyt
ospeakinst
eadofexplai
ninghimsel
f.

“HeyChuuya,
didyouknowthati
fyouhol
dhandswhi
l
e
sleepi
ng,
you’
llhav
ethesamedream?”

Amberey esstar
edoffatthefall
ingsnowbeforet
hem
almostasifstat
ementwasf orDazaitohearal
one.The
barel
ynoticeabl
esqueezeagainsthi
spalm wastheonly
responseheneededtoknowChuuy ahadheardhim as
wellasthethought
shecouldn’tbri
nghimselft
osay.

Ascomf ortabl
eashewas, DazaiknewChuuy apref
erred
tonotremai nseatedonthecouchforextendedperiodsof
ti
me,andt heticki
ngoftheti
meal er
tedhimj usthowlate
i
ntothenightitwas.Thebrunetuntangl
edhi shandf r
om
theotherandsl i
ppedoutfr
om beneaththequi l
t.

Withoutawor
d,Dazaigentl
ypickedupChuuy a’
sfr
agile
for
m alongwi
ththequil
tandbroughtthem i
ntothe
bedroom.Nor
mallyChuuyawoul dputupafightcl
aiming
hecouldmovearoundjustf
inewi t
houthel
p,buthedidn’t
pr
otestandsi
mpl
ycl
osedhi
sey
esandsanki
ntoDazai
’
s
ar
ms.

Aft
ersett
ingChuuyadownandwr appinghi
m upagai
n,
Dazair
eposit
ionedhimselfi
nthesamemannertheywere
bef
orerel
ocatingandsli
ppedhishandbacki
ntoChuuya’
s.

MinutespassedasDazai slowlyf el
thi
sowney esgr ow
heavywithsleep.Hestruggl edagainsttheurgetogivein,
desperatetokeepChuuy acompanyev enifonl
yf ora
minutelonger,butasthemi nut esgrewintohours,sl
eep
cl
aimedhi m asdarknessf ellontohiseyes.

*
**

Morning’slighthi
tDazai’
sface,
bri
nginghim outofhis
sl
eep.St il
lnotcompletel
yawake,Dazairubbedhiseyes
wit
hhi sf r
eehandwhent heweightintheothercaughthi
s
att
ention.Dr eadfi
l
ledhimtothebri
m.Somet hi
ngfel
t
unexplainablywrong.
Chuuya’
shandrest
edl
implyagai
nsthi
sown.Dazai
fel
thi
s
hear
tdroptohi
sstomach.

Unabl
etoturnt
owar
dst
her
edhead’
sface,
Dazai
spokei
n
ashakyvoi
ce.

“NehChuuya…Ij
usthadt
hemostt
err
ibledream…You’
d
sli
ppedawaywhil
eIwasasl
eepsoIdidn’
tevengett
osay
goodbye.
”

Hazel
nutey
esqui
ver
edasDazai
star
edatt
hest
il
lfor
m
nextt
ohim.

“
Chuuy
a…Thi
sisal
lj
ustabaddr
eam r
ight
..
”

Dazai
pulledhimsel
fcloserandbrushedhi
sli
psagai
nst
Chuuya’
st hr
oat,
sear
chingforanysignsofl
if
e.

Ski
ntoocol
dtot
het
ouchandt
heabsenceofapul
semet
hi
m.
Devastati
onfl
oodedintohim asi
fsomeonehadsuddenl
y
rel
easedthedam thathadbeenholdinghi
ssil
ent
emot i
ons.Pai
nsearedintothi
ssoul,
devouri
nghi
sever
y
thought,
render
inghim unabl
etospeak.

Asobwr
etchedi
tswayoutofhi
sthr
oat
.

Asiftri
ggeri
ngasnowbal leff
ect,tear
scont i
nuedtoflow
downDazai ’
sfaceashisgr i
efconsumedhi m whole.
Unabletobreakhisdeeplyengravedment ali
tyof
prevent
inghimsel
ffrom expressi
nghi spainverbal
l
y,he
sil
entl
yscreameddeepi nsi
deashott earsslippedpasthis
faceandontoChuuy a’
sclosedey es.

Dazaicl utchedont oChuuy a’slimpbody ,sobbi

ngi ntot
he
body’sshoul dersandcl ungont oev eryt
hingChuuy awas
beforelifesocruel l
ysnatchedhi m away.Hestay edby
Chuuy a’ssidethewhol emor ningandal l
owedhi spainto
washov erhimr elent
lesslylikeoceanwav esasgr i
ef
conti
nuedt ostranglehisbr eathandt houghts,
robbinghim
ofhisv erysenseofsel f.
Hecouldn’
tbri
nghimsel
ftospeakorev
enal
ertany
oneof
Chuuy
a’spassing.Nowor
dscouldexpr
esst
hedegreeof
hi
ssuffer
ing.

*
**

Sev
eral
weeksl
ater

Ther i
ngingofhi sphonedr ewDazai ’
sattention.Hehad
beenignor i
ngt hedevi
cesi nceChuuy a’
spassi ngi
n
wantingtoal oneinhisgr i
ef.Hegav eonegl anceast he
screenwi t
hev eryi
ntentionofi gnori
ngwhoev erwas
contacti
nghi m whent hecont actnamecausedhi mt o
drawcloser.Sur pr
isecreptintodul lamberey esatthe
namef lashingont hephonescr een.Hepi ckedup.

“
Ane-
san.Howr
areofy
out
ocal
lme.
”

Theol
derexecut
ivewast
ednot
imeget
ti
ngst
rai
ghtt
othe
poi
nt.
“
Dazai
wher
ear
eyour
ightnow.
”

“
Insi
de.
”

“
Don’
tmov
eDazai
,Ineedt
ospeakwi
thy
ou.
”

Hebli
nkedwit
hexhaust
ion.“
Apol
ogizesane-san,
butI
don’
twisht
oseeanyone.NowIfyou’
llexcuseme-“

Kouyou’
svoicecuti
ntohi
sst
atement
.“Dazai
..
please.
.I
needtoknow.”

Dazai
sighed,
unabl
etoi
gnor
ethepai
nful
pleai
nKouy
ou’
s
voi
ce.

“
Ver
ywel
lane-
san,
butI
’
m comi
ngt
oyoui
nst
ead.
”

Hecoul
dal
mostpi
ctur
ethegr
acef
ulexecut
ivenod.
“
Your
ememberwher
eiti
s?”

Aghostofasmi
l
efl
ashedacr
ossDazai
’
sface.

“
Howcoul
dIf
orget
.”

*
**

Thest r
eet
swer ecoveredinsnowwhenDazaifi
nal
ly
steppedoutoftheapartment.Hehadn’
tbot
heredbr
ingi
ng
outanumbr el
l
awhi chresult
edinthewhi
tepowder
dusti
nghishairandlashes.

Joyfulmemor iesfrom hi
schildhoodfloodedhismindas
Dazai appr
oachedt hefamil
iarpathtowardsKouy ou’
s
brothel.Hehadv i
sitedsooftenhefoundhi mself
automat i
call
ytakingallt
hetwistsandt ur
nsleadi
ngtothe
buil
dingwi t
houtasecondt hought.Dazaifoundhimself
standingbeforethei mpr
essivebuil
dingtoosoon.
Kouyougr eet
edhim att
hedoorandmot ionedhim witha
gracefulswoopofherarm.Shehadherpi nkhairdown,
al
lowingt hel
ockstocascadedownherbackl ikerol
lsof
si
lk.Theexecutiv
emot i
onedforDazait
osi tand
wordlesslypl
acedacupoft eabef
orehi
m bef oresit
ti
ng
downher self
.

St
ari
ngdownatt
heteacupi
nherhands,Kouy
ouspokei
n
asof
tvoi
ce.“
How…howdidhelookDazai.
”

I
ttookDazai
awhilet
orespond.“
Pal
e.Si
ck.Dead.He
l
ookeddeadane-
san.
”

Pinkey
esl ookedupathi
sface,
sear
chi
ngf
orsomet
race
ofemotion.

“
Howdi
dyouknow…”

Part
edli
psandapeacef
ulf
acef
lashedacr
ossDazai
’
s
mind.
“
Hishandwast
ooheav
yagai
nstmi
net
obesomeonewho
wasawake.
”

“
Youdi
dn’
tshowupt
ohi
sfuner
al.
”

“
Idi
dn’
treal
i
zeIhadt
o.”

Despi
tethemonotonev oi
ce,
Kouyoudidn’
tfail
topi
ckup
onthebi
tter
nesshiddendeepwit
hinDazai’
sanswer.She
gavehi
m asorrowfull
ook.Hechosetoignoreit
.

“
Ist
hatal
lane-
san.
”

Kouyounoddedandbr
oughtherey
esbackt
ohert
eacup.
“YesDazai
.”

Apausef
il
ledt
her
oom bef
oreKouy
ouspokeagai
n.

“
Thanky
ou.
”
Dazai
fel
thi
sthroatconst
rictashi
sownpaint
hreat
ened
todev
ourhi
m again.Herosef r
om hi
sseat
.

“
I’
ll
bet
aki
ngmyl
eav
ethen.
”

Concer
nedpi
nkey
esstaredathi
m,almostasift
heywere
tr
yingt
oconv
eywordsKouyoucoul
dn’tbr
ingher
sel
fto
say.

Hehadal
readyreachedt
hedoorwhenKouy
ou’
svoi
ce
cal
l
edouttohim.

“
Dazai
-“

Thebr
unetst
opped.

“
Hecar
eddeepl
yfory
ou.Ev
enaf
tery
oul
eft
.”
Fi
nger
sti
ghtenedar
oundthedoorknobasDazai
for
ced
backt
hegri
efthr
eat
eningtospi
l
lov er
.

Steppi
ngout,hetur
nedbackt
owar
dsKouy
ouandhel
dthe
doorsl
ight
lyopen.

“Ane-san,
”Exhaust
edbr
owney
esmetKouy
ou’
sface.“
I
caredforhimtoo.”

Spr
ing

Bir
dschi r
pedinthet r
eesasDazaimadehi swaydown
rowsandr owsofbl oomedcherryt
rees.Thepalepi
nk
petalsfel
ldownlikesnowwi t
htheblowingwindand
coastedthepathinapi nkbl
anketoffl
owers.Hestopped
i
nf rontofoneofmanyt r
eesi
nthepark.
Dazaibrushedhishandagainstafadedcarvinginthebar
k.
I
nteasingChuuy aabouthishei
ghtduringtheirchi
l
dhood,
hehadcar vedin“peti
temafi
a”int
othet r
ee,highenough
Chuuyacoul dn’
treachtocr
ossitout.

Thememor ybr oughtat ir

edsmi letohi sface.Chuuya
hadn’tthoughtt ousehi sabil
it
yt ofloathimselfupt othe
carvi
ng.I nstead, hehadbeent oopr eoccupi edwi t
h
arguingwi thDazai sayi
nghewoul dev ent
ual l
ygrowt al
ler
thanhi m.Dazai fondlytr
acedov erthechar acterswithhis
fi
nger .Chuuy anev erdidendupt all
erthanhi m andreall
y
didbecomeapet it
emaf ia.Dazai wonderedi fhe
remember edt hecar vi
ngwhenhement i
onedt hecher r
y
blossom par kt hedayt heywat chedt hesunsett oget
her.

Thebrunetstretchedouthislegsastheyhadgonenumb
fr
om crouchingsol ong.Hepulledoutasmallphot
o
fr
amedwi thasi mpleborderfrom i
nsidehi
scoatpocket
andgingerl
yseti tagai
nstthebaseoft het
reetr
unk.Dazai
gotupandgav ethephotoasadsmi l
e.

“
Happybi
rt
hdayChuuy
a.”
Hestoodinfrontofthetr
eeforawhilebef or
egi v
ingthe
photoonelastglanceandtur
nedhisey estowardsthe
cher
ryblossoms.Thespringbreezetousledhishair
,and
Dazair
ubbedhi seyesbefor
eproceedingbackt owardsthe
ci
ty.

Sl
eepdi
dn’
tcomeaseasi
l
yasi
tusedt
o.