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Life Is A Book: Reflection Paper concerning My psychological state and well-being as well

as my Work Life Balance

Saddiqui Hajar

Al Akhawayn University

HRD 5339 01 - Special Topics in HRD

Dr. Jeong-Ha Yim

November 26, 2021

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Life Is A Book: Reflection Paper concerning My psychological state and well-being as well

as Work Life Balance

What kind of life do I want to live? That is a very hard question. I would be lying if I told

you I know exactly what I want to be or where I want to be right now. All I know is that I would

like to live a simple yet adventurous life. What I mean by that is that I would feel satisfied with

having the basic needs of life with a little bit of spice I consider myself as someone who does not

need much to be happy. I find myself the most fulfilled when I can help people in need. I try my

best to take life as it comes and accept all different circumstances, whether they are good or bad.

Of course, it is not always easy, and like any other human, I am not perfect, knowing my limits

and my flaws motivates me every day to become the best version of myself.

I am looking for an adventurous life mainly because my parents really inspire me. I wish

I could be more like them. They always encouraged me to explore new things and get out of my

comfort zone. I am afraid that when I am completely independent, I will not give enough time to

new beginnings. A balanced life would for me is one where I am capable of managing my

everyday life such as ; obligations, responsibilities, and work, and at the same time I am able to

enjoy life, stay curious, and find time to travel. I hate routine, and I like to try new things. I like

being active and feeling alive.

You can create happiness from even the tiniest things in life. However, if you are always

seeking the big things, you will never be able to fully appreciate the simple pleasures of it. The

way I see life is exactly how I see a book; Letters make a word, words make a sentence,

sentences make a paragraph, paragraphs make a chapter, and chapters combined together could

make a great book. Similarly, everything in this life, however simple or complex, they are all

built on meaningful and simple details that you can start with. Happiness is natural to us, and
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therefore it is effortless when we live naturally. Seeking happiness is all about dealing with our

unhappiness, understanding its source, and doing something about it.

Happiness can be preserved in so many ways, the way I see it aligns with the idea that the

reduction of tensions, meaning the elimination of pain and frustrations can lead to happiness.

This approach is represented by Maslow's hierarchical needs model as well as Freud's pleasure

principle (Maslow, 1970, Freud, 1933). In agreement with this approach Sheldon, Elliot, Kim,

and Kasser discovered that the degree to which a persons' needs were fulfilled was significantly

related to the degree of their life satisfaction (Sheldon et al., 2001). In philosophical and

psychological theories of happiness and well-being, the concept of life satisfaction is used. "Life

satisfaction" is frequently used as a synonym for "happiness" and is frequently associated with or

seen as an important element of well-being. Another popular definition of life satisfaction comes

from another highly regarded life satisfaction scholar, Ruut Veenhoven. He mentioned in his

work that “Life satisfaction is the degree to which a person positively evaluates the overall

quality of his/her life as a whole. In other words, how much the person likes the life he/she

leads” (Ruut, 1996).

Life satisfaction for me should be reduced to these 5 criteria; a house where to live ,

Food to eat , family and friend that loves you , health that allow you to enjoy life and money to

buy things you necessarily need.

Being an HR practitioner can be very different from other professions. Most people who pursue

HR identify with a strong sense of purpose in doing so. This goes along with a strong will to help

people and actively promote and contribute to human development. The core values of this

profession are commitment and teamwork. Everyone has life experiences, and they all must have

work experience as well. These experiences, both positive and negative, can help so many people
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overcome some fears and become successful in a particular niche. That is to say, take your

unique experiences, the ones that contributed in creating and building your identity, to help

others as they go through the same struggles.  

Traveling is one of the unique learning experiences. It motivates people to go to new areas,

hence expanding their knowledge base. It's a fantastic approach to not only learn new things and

immerse oneself in a new culture, but it also creates a persistent desire to learn more. I’m a very

curious person and I always expose myself to new cultures. And I think that’s very important for

an HR practitioner, experiencing culture shock by coming into contact with a new language will

force you to adapt and learn the new language quickly as well as be more comfortable with your

surroundings. It will also teach you the valuable lesson that this world is a small place, and that

despite our differences, we are all similar and interconnected.

You become more comprehensive, and you can use this as a way to help the organization by

helping their expatriates get involved by sharing your own experiences in that country.

There is no recipe to follow for a perfectly balanced life, despite what you may hear or

read from other people. Everyones’ bodies and minds respond in different ways; the most

important thing is that you must find your way to get the right balance yourself. It is crucial that

you find the balance that you enjoy. It is far too easy to think that you are doing everything

wrong, and it is even easier to scroll through Instagram or Facebook and compare yourself to

others that seem to live the perfect healthy lifestyles. The key point here is not to be hard on

yourself, and everyone has their journey to take. Being healthy does not happen overnight, but

each little change we make is a step in the right direction. If we get lost and take the wrong path,

it is not a disaster, and as Gerard Abrams once said: "Just because my path is different doesn't
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mean I'm lost”.We just need to carry on with it. It is part of the journey. Keep it simple, and be

kind to yourself. Even if classical self-help advice encourages you to picture achievement and

think about the sort of person you want to be, however it might reinforce the image that you are

not that person, and your sub-conscience will respond to it unconsciously. Everyone wants you

to believe that the key to a better life is to have a better job, a better vehicle, or a more attractive

partner. According to Mark Manson, giving a F*CK about more isn't the answer to a wonderful

life; it's giving a F*CK about less, giving a F*CK about only what is genuine, urgent, and vital

(Manson, 2016).

I was raised in an environment where everyone in the house is a workaholic, meaning

everyone was either busy, stressed, or working all day. I grew up looking at my parents working

hard to achieve their goals, especially my dad. He did not use to believe in weekends nor

vacations. I had very few memories of my dad taking a day off for himself or waking up late and

not answering the phone. Even on planes, he would ask for WIFI services to finish his calls. My

mom is another story, she is a very energetic person if she’s not working her brain, she’s

working her body out, she must keep herself busy. As their child, I was obliged to keep up with

this lifestyle. I was valedictorian of the class. I used to have extra tutoring classes, I was part of

the swimming club, basketball club, and of course, that was not enough. I used to play the violin

as well, I never spent weekends at home. Why? First, because we used to live in a small city;

“El-Kelaa Desraghna”, to go out for dinners or shop, we had to travel to Marrakech, which is the

nearest city, and it took us each time a one-hour drive.

Second, because I had foreign languages classes; Italian and English on weekends. My

whole days were planned in advance, the only opportunity I had to rest was going to my

grandpa’s, the sweetest soul on earth, the kindest heart, he was my best friend. He used to wake
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me up to a good smell of coffee with jazz music in the background instead of alarms and

checklists. We used to have very slow breakfasts and deep conversations. He used to feel my

pain and recognize my sorrow with just a look in the eye, making me smile even when I’m upset.

I lost that man. I lost him during this pandemic. It was one of the awfullest things I ever

experienced in my life. Nine months ago, we all caught covid, we all got infected in the house,

and I almost lost my dad too. I woke up and found myself in charge of everything, bank,

hospital, groceries, cooking, cleaning, medical aid, and sleepless nights because my dad was so

sick that he was hospitalized at home. I needed to take care of him while I was sick myself and

needed to work on my foundation courses. I was feeling consumed, I was going to give up so

many times. I felt burned out. Between responsibilities, fear, and study, I was so stressed, I could

not focus, nor cry. I just knew I had to get things done. My grandpa used to call me every day

and tell me that he was okay, and that I should be focusing on myself and my studies rather than

worrying about him. I already had so much on my plate, three days later, my Papi died. I was so

devastated. I could not talk, sleep, or get out of bed for weeks.

My family’s influences me to become a small version of themselves, a small workaholic

creature, but I’m fighting this everyday trying to enjoy life at its finest, I was born in Italy and

spent my 5 first years there and if there is something I should be taking from them is their life

style. Italy It’s one of favorite countries all because of her people they’re very genuine and

approachable.

I’m a person who gets stressed a lot, and this is because of my family. I was always

pressured to be something I’m not and this made me want to be in control of everything in my

life, and when things get out of hand and perspective. I panic and this effect my work life

balance, in the way that my life become hectic and messy. I lose my habits, routine and balance
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and by fear of not getting things done, or meeting the exact deadlines makes me anxious. So, in

order to avoid that I start planning my day a head and organize maximum my week to not be put

in such situation.

Burnout is the outcome of continuous stress. This latter inflicts too many pressures on the

person involved, and it affects both the physical and the mental health of that person. According

to Melinda Smith in her work “Burnout Prevention and Treatment”, people suffering from stress

tend to believe and “imagine” that by getting everything under control, they will be less stressed

and that they will feel better (Melinda Smith et al., 2021). However, that wasn’t the case for me,

I couldn’t feel it. I was surpassed by everything. I was feeling empty and mentally exhausted,

devoid of motivation, and beyond caring., I was drowning in responsibilities and problems. I

look back now, and all I say is that I am proud of myself, proud of that little girl. I stood, and I

made it although it was very hard. Thanks to some good people in my life I made it. I was not

alone it was family and friends by the side, and of course, self-awareness was the thing that

helped me the most.

The capacity to focus on yourself; your behaviors, thoughts, or emotions and see if they

align or not with your internal standards and values is referred to as self-awareness (Benz, 2021).

You can objectively analyze yourself, control your emotions, match your actions with your

ideals, and accurately grasp how others see you if you are extremely self-aware. Whenever you

bring awareness to what you’re directly experiencing via your senses, or to your feeling via your

thoughts and emotions, you’re being mindful. Mindfulness has been accepted in modern

psychology as a method for enhancing awareness and responding effectively to mental processes

that lead to emotional distress and maladaptive behavior (Bishop et al., 2004).
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My way of being mindful is acceptance, I think that’s the key to problem-solving when

you accept you give a chance to your brain to think logically and rationally about it. It’s different

then stress management in the sense that you avoid being in a stressed situation before

happening, however, mindfulness is the breakthrough from your problem, your window to

release, and this effect positively my work-life balance, this feeling of satisfaction and

fulfillment make me want to practice mindfulness more because it doesn’t happen overnight,

some people say it might take you years to be mindful about your life, but I guess I’m lucky

enough to learn it at this stage of life.

Burnout can be avoided by making self-care part of your daily routine. Even if you’re working

long hours or studying for exams, remember to sprinkle some joy into each day.

Try going for a walk, talking to a friend, taking a bath, or watching an enjoyable program on

television. Small self-care gestures like these can stop stress from turning into something more

serious, like burnout. When you learn to manage your time and find time for yourself you

reached your work life balance, this might sound very silly or stupid but trust me it makes such a

difference when you try it.

The COVID-19 pandemic has radically changed our lives. For example, our perceptions

of space; our freedom has been severely limited, confined to jogs or walks a few kilometers

around our houses. Perhaps less overtly, the lockdown has had an impact on our perceptions of

time. The current crisis has caused us to lose track of the latter; the capacity to control, regulate,

and influence our perception of time has become difficult, if not impossible to manage. How

many of us, for example, have already lost sense of time, wondering what day of the week it

was? It is almost as though time has come to a halt. It created a sense of being trapped in the
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present, mixed with an incapacity to plan the future. We didn't know when we'll be able to see

our dear ones again, or when we'll be able to go on vacations. Worse, many of us couldn't even

imagine a future that looks different than the present. we couldn’t see a way or imagine a

possibility that things might go back to how they were or having our normal life back.

As a college student, I was feeling lost during this period. We had to adapt in such a short

period to online classes, virtual meetings and be able to work from home, which I personally

found very hard. I couldn’t even appreciate the joy of being a graduate student. I took my

bachelor’s as if it was a very normal achievement. Whilst the impact of the pandemic had a big

influence on the decisions I took about my next educational steps, I couldn’t go abroad because I

was afraid of being lockdown in a foreign country where I didn’t know anyone. This pandemic

did affect us in so many ways that we started doubting and questioning so many things in life.

I was a finance student and because of this pandemic I realized I did not want to be a one

anymore, it’s a very stressful field, mean I work productively under stress and pressure but I

realized that finance was not for me. Going back to that point of me working last minute is the

result of procrastination. Everybody procrastinates. Students, parents, employees, employers, and

every other human can’t help but procrastinate. No matter what you do, it’s close to impossible

to get rid of procrastination if you’re not good at time management. Time management and

procrastination are very closely related as one affects the other. Procrastination, in particular,

puts all your time management efforts to waste. If you can understand the how and why aspects

of this concept, you can fight against procrastination and begin to use your time efficiently. It has

been referred to as the psychopathology of everyday life (Silver & Sabini, 1981). Typical

definitions include putting off for tomorrow what you can do today, a failure to initiate or

complete a task or activity by a predetermined time (Ellis and Knaus, 1977), and delay behavior
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related to a fear of failure or fear of success and success related consequences (Burka and Yuen,

1983; Rorer, 1983).

Perfectionism might seem like a desirable characteristic, but for me, it’s a flaw, it’s the cause of

my procrastination. Perfectionists strive for high standards and to be the best at everything. But

perfection is impossible to achieve, and aiming for it sets unrealistic expectations. As a result,

they develop a fear of failure. They wind up putting things off because they feel they won’t do

something well enough or do it right. They wait until the right moment, that perfect time when

they cannot fail that “right moment” that never arrives. As well as waiting Until the Last Minute,

as Procrastinators, we often make the claim that we put off tasks because we perform better

under pressure. And we end up making a habit of it, waiting until the last minute to get that rush

of euphoria at completing a task on time against the odds. I find this very hard to admit but it’s

the definition of my messy life and because of this I find myself very unsatisfied with my work,

It gives me the impression of not working too much and not doing things the way they supposed

to be done. If I want to get over this procrastinating, I should start by managing my time for

example; Starting my tasks early, setting limits for what I say yes to, giving myself breaks,

prioritizing my tasks, scheduling my tasks and deadlines, organize my workplace. And if I get

over procrastination by managing my time the right way then I guess I’d be the most satisfied

with my performance.

I was very happy with my log experience it helped me track my days, and be productive, for

example, if I feel like I worked enough today then I reward myself the following one. And I

think that’s a very good tool. I score myself very hard and I find myself the most fulfilled when I

finish my tasks while having ME time, the higher score I gave myself I guess was 90 I don’t see
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myself as a 100 because I’m never fully satisfied with my work, I always think I can give more,

so when I score myself a very low score it’s either I’m not happy with myself work-wise, or

feeling consumed and overwhelmed with work. The way I see how I can improve my job

satisfaction is by not setting very high goals and standards and try to be happy with what you

achieve and have.

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