Pioneer Morning
11 MAY 2023
Activists Jailed,
Co Founder
Confesses
By RAM MALHOTRA
Ankush Singhal, co-founder of the
NGO Earth Next, has taken responsi-
bility for violence that occurred dur-
ing the protest against Jinglepur In-
dustries organized by the organiza-
tion. The protest, which was aimed
at drawing attention to environmen-
tal issues and the occupation of IDP
land took a violent turn when clashes
broke out between protesters and po-
lice.
Singhal has released a statement
on behalf of the organisation tak-
ing full responsibility for the vio-
lence and apologizing for any harm
caused to individuals or property.
He also stated that the actions of
the protesters were not condoned by
Earth Next and that the organization
would work to ensure that similar in-
cidents did not occur in the future.
"We deeply regret the violent turn
that our peaceful protest took and
take full responsibility for the ac-
tions of our supporters. We apol-
ogize to those who were injured or
whose property was damaged and will
work to make things right," Singhal
stated. The incident has garnered sig-
nificant attention, with many criticiz-
ing Earth Next for its role in the vio-
lence.
Earth Next has been involved
in a number of protests and cam-
paigns aimed at raising awareness
about environmental issues and pro-
moting sustainable living. However
now some people are asking for the
protestors to be charged with sedition
charges.
Following the violent protest
against Jinglepur Industries, where
clashes broke out between protesters
and police, some are now calling for
the protestors, who were organized
by Earth Next, to be charged with in the worldwide moose population
sedition charges. The calls for sedi- compared to last year’s disapointing
tion charges have come from various figures. Among the traditional early
sources, with some claiming that the reporters were Egypt, returning fig-
protest was a threat to national se- ures of six moose, a twenty percent
curity and that the protesters were increase on 2011’s figures of five, and
inciting violence against the state. Uruguay whose moose population re-
However, Ankush Singhal, co-founder mains stable at eleven.
of Earth Next, has strongly denied According to Robbie McRobson,
these allegations, stating that the head of the UN Moose Preserva-
protest was peaceful and that the vio- tion Council, worldwide moose num-
lence that occurred was not condoned bers are expected to grow markedly
by the organization. "We have always on last year due to the traditional
been committed to peaceful protests moose strongholds of Canada and the
and have never advocated violence in United States, with the larger de-
any form. The incidents that oc- veloping moose ecologies also poised
curred during the protest were regret- to make gains. The largest percent-
table and we take full responsibility agege increase in moose will likely
for them. However, we strongly deny come from China’’, says McRobson,
any allegations of sedition and believeThe Chinese government has invested
that the right to peaceful protest is heavily in moose infrastructure over
a fundamental right," Singhal said in the past decade, and their committ-
a statement. Many have come out ment to macrofauna is beginning to
in support of Earth Next and its co- pay dividends’’. Since 2004 China has
founder, stating that the organization expanded moose pasture from 1.5%
has always been committed to peace- of arable land to nearly 3.648% and
ful activism and that the charges of moose numbers are expected to rise
sedition are unfounded. "Earth Next to 60,000 making China a net moose
has been at the forefront of the envi- exporter for the first time. This is
ronmental movement, and their com- good news for neighbouring Mongo-
mitment to peaceful activism is well- lia, a barren moose-wasteland whose
known. The allegations of sedition inhabitents nonetheless have an insa-
are baseless and seem to be an at- tiable desire for the creatures. The in-
tempt to silence legitimate dissent," crease in Beijing-Ulanbataar trade is
said environmental activist Jane Doe. anticipated to relieve pressure on the
It remains to be seen whether the relatively strained Russian suppliers,
calls for sedition charges will be pur-but increase Mongolia’s imbalance of
sued, but it is clear that the incidenttrade with its larger neighbour.
has highlighted the need for peaceful Historically the only competitor
and responsible activism in the face to China in the far eastern moose
of environmental challenges markets has been Singapore but the
tiny island nation is set to report a
International net loss, expecting a decrease of more
than five percent on last year’s 50,000
Moose Count moose counted. The head of Singa-
pore’s Agency for Agriculture, Jing-
Underway Feng Lau, explained to an incredu-
lous Singaporean parliament yester-
By BOB O’BOBSTON day that bad weather had contributed
to this season’s poor showing, most
notably when a cargo of 150 moose
The UN-sponsored International were swept out into the Indian ocean
Moose Census got off to a flying in a monsoon.
start today with hopes for an increase Yet again the global demand for
 Pioneer Morning 11 MAY 2023 2

moose will be met largely by the Granny wins ican man retired from exhaustion.
US and Canada. The recession-hit The next seven matches were barely
States is taking comfort in its moose World Wrestling a contest as the news of Johnson’s
growth figures with gross production supremacy overawed all her oppo-
expected to break 700,000 and net ex- Championship nents who became too indimidated to
ports to grow by 2%. The worldwide fight properly.
By ROY MCROYSTON
dominance of Canada shows no signs
Nigerian Tommy Thompson is
of abating though with this year’s
also a relative newcomer to the
moose population expected to match
wrestling scene, but with his 210lb
last year’s record figures of one hun- Records were smashed in
frame he was expected to fare well
dred million billion. Nicaragua’s World Wrestling Cham-
against Johnson who weighs in at
pionship last night as 78-year-old
Europe’s rise as an international Maud Johnson, grandmother of five, only 90lb. However Johnson’s lithe
moose power will slow slightly this became the first woman for fifty-six and slender, some would say scrawny,
year as a response to the European years, and the oldest competitor ever, figure belies her agility and strength
Union’s move towards standardising to claim the gold medal. She walked which she demonstrated by holding
the European moose. Stringent qual- away with her million dollar share of Thompson above her head several
ity controls are holding back the de- the prize money, runner up Tommy times during the bout and throwing
velopment of the eastern european Thompson from Nigeria taking half a him into the crowd once. With the
populations compared to last year million, and third place New Zealan- scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the
when they contributed significantly der John Smith receiving a warm contest went to a panel of judges to be
to europe’s strong growth figures. handshake from the umpire. assessed. They awarded Thompson a
Norway, which is not an EU member C grade whilst Johnson received an
Having started the tournament a
but has observer status, strengthed rank outsider she began to impress A, becoming the first grandmother to
in numbers relative to the Euro area in her second match when she took ever win the title.
with numbers of Norweigian moose, US number three Ron Ronson by sur- The new champion explained her
known locally as elk’’ expected to rise prise and subdued him in twenty sec- success as the result of a strict train-
for the tenth consecutive year, partic- onds with her unique move that has ing regimen instituted by her coach
ularly thanks to a strong showing in been dubbed "Maud’s Death Grip". and grandson five-year-old Sammy
the last quarter. The injection of a new wrestling style Johnson. "I’ve been drinking ten
As moose season reaches its close, into the tournament was welcomed raw eggs for breakfast every morning,
researchers world wide are turning to by spectators and Johnson’s pre- and sprinting fifty miles a day and carry-
science in an attempt to boost next post-match breakdances have proved ing my daughter’s car to the end of
year’s figures. NASA stunned the entertaining to fans. However, she the road and back whenever I felt my
scientific community today with the was still not expected to win in arthritis was OK" she said. Sammy
announcment of their discovery that round three last Wednesday, facing added "I always knew she could do
the moon is significantly smaller than off against title-holder Paulo "Spine- it. She’s my grandma.". The young-
previously believed. This conclusion, Snapper" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- ster is also her manager and has re-
which is the conclusion of a ten- derdog Johnson was soon showing her portedly arranged sponsorship deals
year collaborative project, will have worth with stamina and agility easily which will dwarf her one million dol-
profound implications for the moose matching last year’s winner. Lutti’s lar prize fund. Her new contract with
community as the gravitational field experience paid off initially as he took headband designer Nike alone is set
is now known to be of the right the first two rounds, but as John- to earn her fourteen billion dollars
strength to support moose in orbit. son became more confident her su- over the next year. She will also be
perior strength came to the fore and promoting Tupperware, Halliburton,
According to John Johnson, head she clawed back two rounds to take the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala
of the NASA Moon Sizing Experi- the contest into a decider. By this Bingo. Her continued participation in
ment the first delivery of moose into time Lutti’s body language indicated the sport is not assured as she wants
low moon orbit could be achieved as that he already felt overawed by the to spend more time on her bungee-
early as the third quarter of next year. pretender to his crown, and the new- jumping business, and knitting. Ev-
The technology to nurture moose in comer took advantage of this to en- eryone here at the World Champi-
space is available now’’, he said, ’’all gage a mutual headlock which she onships, however, hopes for her re-
that is needed is political will’’. held for three hours until the Vat- turn.