All-In Mentoring Program

WELCOME!

Welcome to the All-in Mentoring Program. Mentors meet the needs of these young
people through being a friend, a good listener, a role model, a helper, and a
“cheerleader.”

You can help your mentee with anything suited to their interests and talents, but your
main purpose is to be a caring and supportive adult who is interested in helping a young
person attain academic and personal success.

This manual will help you understand your role as a mentor and to provide some tools
to help you in that role.

As a mentor, you perform services that enrich, extend, and enhance a child’s daily
experience.

The goal of the program is to instill pride and the belief that any person can succeed in
any endeavor in life if they are willing to set goals and work toward making them come
true.

All-in Mentors Making a Difference in our Community!

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 MENTORS CHECKLIST

BEFORE YOU GO TO VISIT YOUR MENTEE, call the school to check if your mentee
is at school that day if they have a history of absenteeism or tardiness. This will save
you an unnecessary trip if he/she is absent or on a field trip.

BE SURE TO HONOR YOUR COMMITMENT. MAINTAIN CONSISTENT AND

REGULAR ATTENDANCE. Kids are really disappointed when you do not visit with
them on a fairly regular basis. They are proud of you and like to show you off!

ALWAYS CHECK IN at the front office and sign the mentor time sheet.

COMPLETE THE VISITATION FORM if the SCP designates it. This confirms that you
are visiting and gives vital information about your mentee.

WORK WITHIN THE RULES OF THE SCHOOL as set out by the principal. Lend a
sympathetic ear to students and teachers. Keep confidential ANY info about them.

RELAY ANY CONCERNS OR PROBLEMS to the School Contact Person, the principal
and/or the Director.

DO NOT MAKE PROMISES YOU MAY BE UNABLE TO KEEP. This especially applies
to “secrets” that your mentee may share….the school authorities or parents may NEED
to know the circumstances. Also, don’t promise to take your mentee to outside events
unless you have clearance/approval from parent.

REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT TAKING THE PLACE OF THE PARENT. Let them
do the discipline and punishments.

IT IS NOT YOUR ROLE TO BE A SANTA CLAUS TO THE STUDENT. Sometimes

the mentees expect gifts, outside activities, etc. You should give gifts where
appropriate, birthday, Christmas, something special such as improved grades. YOUR
TIME AND SPECIAL ATTENTION IS MUCH MORE VALUABLE TO THE STUDENT.

DON’T EXPECT A MIRACULOUS TURN-AROUND WITH YOUR STUDENT. Most of

us want to see a fast change, but this seldom occurs. You will need to build a feeling of
trust and respect and that will take time. Many times you may feel that you are getting
little response. Don’t despair! Some children have a difficult time showing their feelings
directly to you, but will “brag” about you after you leave.

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 CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT is one area that you, as mentors, can significantly
impact upon your mentees through your personal relations. They will see you as a role
model and will emulate your actions. They will learn to make better and better personal
decisions by engaging them in conversations about experiences that occur when the
two of you are together. They will learn how their actions affect others and how to
practice high values.

Consider the following character traits:

CARING WORK ETHIC TRUTHFULNESS CIVIC VIRTUE

COURAGE RESPONSIBILITY FAMILY PRIDE CITIZENSHIP
COURTESY KINDNESS TRUSTWORTHINESS JUSTICE
RESPECT HONESTY HELPFULNESS FAIRNESS

For example:

Making a new student in their class feel welcome and part of the group. (Cliques are
present at all levels!)

Being courageous enough to not go along with the crowd when they know the action is
wrong.

Saying, “Please” and “Thank you” and allowing others to “go first.”

Following through on promises.

Being aware of the value of other’s time and space (radios too loud, yelling at
inappropriate times, being late to meetings, not responding to invitations, pushing ahead
of others, etc.)

Doing the right thing…..people learn to depend on your word

Learning that good things come from hard work---everything is NOT fun!

Being honest----returning “found” articles, telling the truth (remind them that they never
have to remember what they said if they always tell the truth!)

Being aware of the needs of others and assisting when you can.

Taking care of school, home, city, etc. (no graffiti, no littering, picking up after yourself
and others, leaving a place nicer than you found it, etc.)

Giving others what they have earned; not demanding that they be “first”; recognizing the
efforts of others, etc.

Honoring your family; making your family proud of you; taking responsibility for your role
in the family.

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 BUILDING A BETTER ME
RESPECT:
The new 3 Rs: Respect for yourself; Respect for others; Responsibility for your
actions. How many times a day do students take someone else’s belonging, or search
through something that is not theirs? This page will give you ideas for instilling respect
for others and their belongings which will build self-respect.

DISCUSSION:
At the appropriate time you can use the following questions to guide a discussion.

What is snooping?
Do you want someone snooping through your things?
What things do you have that are private or special to you?
Would you ever share those things? When?
How would you feel if someone just took one of those things?
If you would share it, would you want the person to ask first or just take it?
If something isn’t ours and we want to look at it or use it, what should we
do?

Note: Help your mentee to honestly evaluate themselves! Share experiences from
your life to create an atmosphere of openness. (Regardless of our age, we all have
experiences when someone intrudes upon our personal belongings.) When young
people locate their mistakes and weakness it is easier to change the behavior.
Share specific examples of times when your mentee needs to ask permission. Students
will often use another persons school supplies or any item left out without asking. They
also will use any item in the classroom. Discuss which classroom items they need to
ask to use, and which they do not. (For example, in elementary school student scissors
and markers may not need permission, but certain toys, games, or books may require
permission.)

SET THE STANDARD:

Clearly explain that if an item isn’t theirs they need to ask to use it. (“If it isn’t mine, I
need to ask.”) Model appropriate asking yourself….”May I please…..”

It is not appropriate to say, “I need…” This is rude and is telling not asking. Many
young people use this, especially with adults. Tell them it is more polite to ask than to
tell. Ask if these are proper to talk to an adult: “I need to use the restroom,” “I need to
sharpen my pencil,”. How should they say it?

They should be encouraged to say “Please” when asking to use or do something, and
then saying “Thank you” when returning the borrowed item. Also, they should
remember that if they have borrowed someone else’s book (for example) they cannot
then lend it to someone else….they return it and allow that other person to ask
permission.

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 RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
BE THERE:

When you show up for every meeting with your mentee and strive to make things work out, you send your mentee a
strong message that you care and that he or she is worth caring about.

BE A FRIEND, NOT AN ALL-KNOWING AUTHORITY.

Be the adult in your mentee’s life who is just there without having to fix him or her. Hanging out and talking is
surprisingly helpful to a young person’s healthy development. Young people learn more conversing with adults than
they do just listening to them.

In the words of a mentee:

“My parents lecture me all the time. Why would I want my mentor to be the same way? I have the best mentor in the
program, but sometimes he tries too hard to be a mentor instead of just being himself. What I mean is that he think
she always has to share some wisdom or advice, when sometimes I would rather just kick back and joke around.”

Of course, when your mentee comes to you for help or advice, it is appropriate to help them develop solutions. It’s
also okay to check in with them if you suspect that they are struggling with something. They just don’t want non-stop
advice. So, take the pressure off of yourself and just enjoy your mentee’s company.

BE A ROLE MODEL

The best that you can do is to lead by example. By becoming a mentor, you’ve already modeled the most important
thing a human being can do: caring about another. Here are some ways you can be a positive role model for your
mentee:
Keep your word: Call when you say you will; do what you say you will; be there when you say you
will.
Return phone calls and e-mails promptly.
Have a positive outlook.
Model good character traits: honesty, respect for others, responsibility, etc.

Let your mentee see you going out of your way to help others.

HELP YOUR MENTEE HAVE A SAY IN YOUR ACTIVITIES.

Some mentees will have a lot of suggestions about what you can do together, but most will need a little guidance on
your part. If your mentee doesn’t have any preferences, start by giving them a range of choices. “Here are some
things we can do. Which ones sound good to you?”

READY TO HELP OUT.

When your mentee lets you know that he or she is struggling with a problem, you can help out by following these tips:

Be there for your mentee and make it clear that you want to help.
Be a friend, not an all-knowing authority; don’t fix a problem; ask questions and help your mentee
figure out how to come up with answers.
Model ways to solve problems. You can also be a role model by describing how you overcame a
similar problem in your life----metaphor is a great teacher.
Give your mentee a say: Once he or she comes up with a solution, don’t try to come up with a
better one, but help explore all the possibilities and offer support.

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 RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
DO’s

LISTEN In your eagerness to relate to your mentee, resist the impulse to interrupt with a
similar story of your own.

BE FLEXIBLE Do it their way once, and your way next.

BE CONSISTENT If your mentee has suffered many disappointments, this can be the
most crucial quality you can offer.

GIVE REASON You can increase your credibility if you can say why something is or isn’t
appropriate.

SHOW AFFECTION There is a natural tendency for children to want and need affection.
You should model appropriate behavior. You can show affection by letting your mentee
know you’ve been thinking about them during the time you’re not together, high fives, etc.

MODEL APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR Be conscious of your own behavior and what you
are projecting.

HAVE FUN Find opportunities to be silly; perhaps nicknames or private jokes.

ACKNOWLEDGE ACCOMPLISHMENTS In day-to-day activities note when your mentee

tries and succeeds.

GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT Remind them of previous successes when something seems

difficult. Tell them, “I know you can do it.” Always give them a word of encouragement
during your visit.

SEE YOUR MENTEE AS AN INDIVIDUAL Identify what is special and unique about your
mentee.

RESPECT BOUNDARIES If you see that a question you’ve asked is “touchy”, back
away. Children who have been “burned” need to protect their vulnerability.

MAKE FREQUENT DEPOSITS Building a relationship is like building a bank account.

Every time you do what you said you were going to do is like making a deposit that can
later be drawn against.

REMEMBER DETAILS Nothing is more flattering to any of us than to know we’re truly
being listened to and what we say is worth remembering.

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 RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
DON’Ts

CRITICIZE THE PAST Avoid bringing up past mistakes.

GENERALIZE NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS Avoid words like “you always” or “you never.”

SHARE YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS You are there for your mentee. Only when
there is a lesson to be learned is it appropriate to share personal problems.

PRY Be sensitive to verbal and nonverbal cues that indicate you are asking too many or
threatening questions.

CONSTANTLY TEACH Recognize teachable moments using approaches such as “what

do you think of the way that person just behaved?”

INTERRUPT Let your mentee finish telling you a story or giving you information without
being interrupted.

PASS JUDGEMENT Wait to be asked before you offer your opinion.

CRITICIZE FAMILY It is inappropriate to criticize your mentee’s family. Even if you

disapprove, do not voice your opinion. Help your mentee problem-solve issues involving
their family…if asked.

CRITICIZE FRIENDS Do not voice your opinion about behavior or “style” of your
mentee’s friends.

USE A LOT OF “SHOULDS” “Shoulds” provoke resistance. Find ways to say “how
about if….” and other positive phrases.

DISCOURAGE DIFFERENCES Allow your mentee the freedom to explore various ways
of thinking and behaving even if they are different from yours.

PUNISH HONESTY Even if you don’t like or approve of reported behavior or ways of
perceiving, don’t let your disapproval become punishment to your mentee for telling you
about what is happening or how they fell.

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 WHAT DO CHILDREN NEED

 Patience
 Attention
 Clear limits
 Realistic expectations
 Reasonable rules
 Consistency
 Natural/ logical consequences
 Room to fail
 Experience
 Positive feedback
 Encouragement
 Acceptance
 Listening
 Education
 Problem-solving skills
 Moral/ethical guidance
 Role models
 Choices
 Responsibility for managing their lives
 Gradual independence
 Adequate supervision
 Unconditional love and support

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 QUALITIES OF A SUCCESSFUL MENTOR

PERSONAL COMMITMENT TO BE INVOLVED WITH ANOTHER PERSON FOR AN EXTENDED

TIME---GENERALLY, ONE YEAR AT A MINIMUM

Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of other people’s lives, to help them with tough decisions and
to see them become the best they can be. You have to be invested in the mentoring relationship over
the long-haul to be there long enough to make a difference.

RESPECT FOR INDIVIDUALS AND THEIR ABILITIES AND THEIR RIGHT TO MAKE THEIR OWN
CHOICES IN LIFE

Mentors should not approach the mentee with the attitude that their own ways are better or that mentees
need to be rescued. Mentors who convey a sense of respect and equal dignity in the relationship win the
trust of their mentees and the privilege of being advisors to them.

ABILITY TO LISTEN AND TO ACCEPT DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW

Most people can find someone who will give advice or express opinions. It’s much harder to find
someone who will suspend his or her own judgment and really listen. Mentors often help simply by
listening, asking thoughtful questions and giving mentees an opportunity to explore their own thoughts
with a minimum of interference. When people feel accepted, they are more likely to ask for and respond
to good ideas.

ABILITY TO EMPATHIZE WITH ANOTHER PERSON’S STRUGGLES

Effective mentors can interact with people without feeling pity for them. Even without having had the
same life experiences, they can empathize with their mentee’s feelings and personal problems.

ABILITY TO SEE SOLUTIONS AND OPPORTUNITIES AS WELL AS BURRIERS

Effective mentors balance a realistic respect for the real and serious problems faced by their mentees
with optimism about finding equally realistic solutions. They are able to make sense of a seemingly
jumble of issues and point out sensible alternatives.

FLEXIBILITY AND OPENNESS

Effective mentors recognize that relationship takes time to develop and that communication is a two-way
street. They are willing to take time to know their mentees, to learn new things that are important to their
mentees (music, styles, philosophies, ect.), and even to be changed by their relationship.

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 HELPFUL WEBSITES

 www. Encarta.msn.com

 www.Starfall.com

(K-2 grade tutor to teach children to read using phonics)

 www.TIMEforKids.com

(Time magazine’s site for kids….fun stuff + educational)

 www.Math.com

(Practice and help for all levels of math: Basic Math, everyday Math, Pre-
Algebra; Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry, Statistics, and Calculus)

 www.GrammarBlast.com

(K-8 Practice and help for students, also includes timed quizzes)

 www.Wordgames.com

(K-5 Grammer Ninja learning game, helping identify verbs, nouns ect.)

 www.arcademicskillbuilders.com

(K-5 Sharpening math and language arts skills)

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11
 TIPS FOR WORKING WITH ELEMENTARY STUDENTS
(If your mentee is an elementary student, this may be helpful.)

DEVELOPMENTAL CONSIDERATIONS:
Concrete thinking is gradually developing
Egocentrism (they are the center of their universe!)
Need for approval is shifting from adults to their peers

WHAT WORKS:

Positive attention and genuine interest

Interactive play and games with structure, i.e., taking turns, sharing
thoughts & feelings, non-judgmental listening, drawing, mutual story-
telling, story books
Joint problem solving: identifying rules, consequences, appropriate and
inappropriate behaviors; emphasize their power to make choices
Appropriate role modeling and self-disclosure
 Charts and graphs if teaching skills or monitoring behavior change

WHAT DOESN’T WORK:

No plans or structure
Allowing the child to dictate, take power
Not knowing school rules or procedures
Unreliability

WHEN TO GET HELP:

Threats of self-harm or harming others

Disclosures of abuse or drug/alcohol use
Severe depression, aggression, or confused thinking

UNDERSTANDING BEHAVIOR:

All behavior has meaning

Behavior is learned-----praise for “good” behavior will reinforce it
Behavior is motivated
Children can learn more productive behavior---structure and predictability
help them learn.

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 FOUR WAYS TO DEVELOP EARLY MATH SKILLS
Proficiency in the basic arithmetic of whole numbers and fractions is expected
throughout a child’s academic career and early experiences can make all the difference.

How do you engage a child’s natural curiosity and apply it to the

study of math?

Standard drills using pencil and paper do have their place, providing repetition that is
necessary to master a skill, but they are not likely to spark a child’s interest. Much more
effective in this regard are hands-on activities that require mathematical thinking.

CHANGE: First make sure that a child understands the value of each of the coins.
After giving the child an adequate number of each type of coin, state an amount that
he/she must come up with using the coins they have. (40 cents could use 4 dimes, or
4nickels and 2 dimes, or 8 nickels, etc.) As his skill increases, add new challenges.
(Can you come up with 38 cents using only nickels, dimes, and quarters? Why or why
not?)

QUOTIENT AND REMAINDER: You’ll need a handful of M & M’s (or some other small
objects). Give your child a number of M & M’s and have her divide them into groups of
a smaller number. (For example, if you give her 26 M & M’s and ask her to divide them
into even groups of 3, she should have 8 groups of 3 and 2 left over. The number of
groups is called the QUOTIENT and number remaining that cannot be put into a group
is called the REMAINDER.) Students need to learn the correct terminology so use
these words as you work.

EVEN AND ODD: Use any objects that are similar and small (toothpicks, Cheerios, M
& M’s). Give your child several and have him/her divide them into groups of two. There
are only two possible values for the remainder…either there is none left over and the
remainder is zero, or there is one left over and the remainder is one. (Ask, “Why can’t
two be left over?”) When we divide a number by 2 and get a remainder of zero we say
the number is EVEN. When we get a remainder of one, we say it is ODD.

NUMERATOR AND DENOMINATOR: Cut 3 circles about the size of a pizza. Have
your child cut the 1st circle into two equal parts, the 2nd circle into 3 equal parts, and the
3rd circle into four equal parts. Explain that even though each of them has been divided
into a different number of pieces, each is still one whole circle. (Two out of two pieces
is 2/2 = 1. Similarly, 3/3 = 1 and 4/4 = 1. This demonstrates that whenever the
NUMERATOR and DENOMINATOR of a fraction are the same, the fraction is equal to
one. If your child understands this idea it will help in further studies of fractions.)
Again, it is important that students learn the correct terminology.

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 TIPS FOR HELPING WITH READING & VOCABULARY

LISTEN! Ask what kinds of reading your mentee does for science, social studies, etc.
Does your mentee like reading? Why or why not? When is reading easy or difficult?
What does he/she like/ doesn’t like about reading?

READ TO SHARE EMOTION: Ask if they read outside of school. Do they use books or
do they read online? Have them bring and share one paragraph from a text they are
reading that they really like.

LEARN TO LIKE LANGUAGE: Ask your mentee to choose a page that they like and to
read it through together with you. Then ask them to write down six words that seem
most interesting.

CREATE WEEKEND READERS: Suggest that your mentee read something they like
for an extra 20 minutes a day on weekends and tell you about it when you meet.

CREATE CAREFUL READERS: Suggest that they keep a reading journal (maybe give
them a small notebook for this). Ask them to write down what they read and when.
They may also write their own comments, questions, and new vocabulary words.

DIVE INTO DICTIONARIES: Help your mentee look up vocabulary words from their
journals or social studies, science, or language arts class.

CREATE CRITICAL THINKERS: Have your mentee read a short story. Ask them to
imagine they are making up reading/vocabulary questions about the story.

ENCOURAGE ENRICHMENT: Have your mentee work easy, age-appropriate

crossword puzzles. They may need help in doing this, but it is a great way to learn new
words and emphasizes the need to know how to spell correctly. Maybe take some
vocabulary words and create their own crossword puzzle.

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 MEMORY TRICKS FOR ELEMENTARY STUDENTS

THE ALPHABET SYSTEM: Help your mentee associate images that are represented
by letters of the alphabet. This is a great method for remembering long lists of items in
a specific order, and a useful tool for your mentee to practice alphabet order.

THE LINK/STORY METHOD: Help your mentee invent bizarre or funny stories to link
items he needs to remember. For instance if he needs to learn primary colors, maybe,
“The yellow bird grabbed a red parachute and flew into the blue sky.”

ACRONYMS: Make a word out of the first letters of the item to be recalled. For
example, the letters that spells HOMES represent each of the Great Lakes: Huron,
Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior.

MOVEMENT LEARNING: Songs that include movement help children remember the
song’s vocabulary. “Heads, shoulders, knees, and toes” is very effective.

RHYME AND RHYTHM: This is an effective tool for remembering dates or simple
grammatical rules. Example: “In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue.” Or, use “I
before E, except after C.” Or: “When two vowels go out walking, the first one does the
talking.” (In “read” you pronounce only the first vowel, in “boat” you pronounce only the
first vowel.) The Dr. Seuss books are great for rhyming even though some of the
words are nonsense words.

ACROSTICS: In a poem that is an acrostic, the first or last letter of each line combine to
spell out a word or phrase. Example:

Reduce, reuse, and recycle.

Earth needs us to do our best to keep things clean.
Caring for the planet is everyone’s job.
You can do your part to save the environment.
Collect metal, paper, and plastic for recycling.
Litter free is how it has to be.
Everybody should work together to keep the planet clean.

EXCITEMENT AND SOUND: When reading a book aloud, adding inflection and
excitement to the story will help your child remember it. (Become an amateur actor!)

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 ACTIVITIES FOR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENTS

 Go to the school media center (library) together

 Read a book together---find out your mentee’s interest and check out
books on that subject
 Write letters to each other (if asking him/her to mail, provide stamps)
 Ask about getting a pen-pal in some other place
 Read newspapers and magazines together; talk about health,
appearance, manners, etc.
 Attend special school functions with your mentee, i.e., awards assembly,
field trips, field day, mentor recognition events, etc.
 Lunch together---brown-bag it and bring your mentee’s lunch; picnic
 Help organize school work; have neat materials; check on school supplies
 Work on school projects; help with “research”
 Discuss “future” plans --- what do you want to do when you grow up?
 Talk about families --- yours and theirs
 Remember special occasions
 Talk about what you do or don’t like
 Develop good manners
 Have your mentee show you their favorite places in school
 Learn how to…(something your mentee wants to learn to do)
 Teach your mentee games (checkers, chess, marbles, card games, etc.)
 Learn interesting things about Newton County

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 MILESTONES OF ADOLESCENCE

This stage of life is marked with significant changes and transitions for the
adolescent. During this period the adolescent will experience:

Significant physical growth and hormone production

The ability to reproduce
Mood swings
An increased desire for independence and anxiety about separation from parents
Cognitive changes – thinking has more logical structure and the adolescent become
capable of abstract thought
Greater capacity for reasoning
The ability to think of self in relations to society
Increased self-control
The desire to test limits (parents and society)
Social conformity (the need to look/act like the rest of their peers)
Fragile self-esteem
Sexual desire
Feelings of increased power
Feelings of increased vulnerability
Egocentrism (the world is here to please THEM)

Egocentrism refers to the adolescents’ tendency to exaggerate the importance,

intensity, and severity of his or her experience. Social and emotional experiences are
unique to them and difficult to understand for others.

There are two components to this egocentrism. The teen creates an imaginary
audience. All attention is on them; they are on center stage. He/she feels their
behavior and appearance are constantly being scrutinized. The second component is
the personal fable; they see themselves as invincible, see themselves in mythical terms.

Adolescence is a time when teens are typically pulling away from parents. Other adults
can offer guidance and support as well. Teens need help making sense of the
challenges they face.

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18
 FACTS ABOUT SCHOOL FAILURE BY TEEN-AGERS

WHO ARE UNFOCUSED KIDS?

They haven’t put much effort into planning for their future and do the
minimum to get by; they tend to take the path of least resistance.
They seem to have no clear sense of educational focus or purpose and
lack a “focal point..”
They do not connect what they are learning in school with their lives
outside of school.
They do not see success in school as a stepping stone to success in life.

HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?

Long work hours, participation in multiple activities, not prioritizing achievement in

school. The average student spends four hours a week on homework outside of school.
In other industrialized nations, the average is four hours a day!

One third of students drop out of public high schools prior to graduation.

One in four freshmen at 4-year universities does not return for their
sophomore year. One half of freshmen at community/technical colleges
do not return for their second year.

Taking one more year of math (2nd year Algebra) increases the odds of
college graduation by 73%.

THE DOWNSIDE FOR DROPOUTS

The downside for young people who drop out of high school and/or college to take an
entry-level job for a long period of time and who do not ultimately attain technical
training find that they are in jobs that do not usually provide a living wage, so they may
need to live at home, work two jobs, put off going on for further education, and making
other compromises. This is why it is so important for kids to have a plan (a focus), with
good back-up options, before they leave high school. They need to start on these plans
in the 8th grade and work on them each year with their parents.

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TEN STEPS TO HELP STUDENTS FOCUS ON THEIR EDUCATION AND
CAREER PLANS

 Teens need to talk to their parents/guardians about their plans.

 Teens need to think about what they really want to do with their lives…it’s
their decision

 Teens need to engage in some form of self-assessment.

 Teens need to gain experience, as they still do not fully know their
aptitudes, interests, etc.

 Teens need to integrate information about themselves and the World of

Work---and talk to knowledgeable adults who can provide accurate
information about careers and feedback.

 Teens need to develop an education and career plan (“High School and
Beyond Plan”

 Teens need to develop a career planning portfolio.

 Teens need to develop a culminating project---hopefully based on a career

interest.

 Teens need to learn job-search skills----resumes, cover letters, thank you

letters, interviewing.

 Teens need to learn how to do Informational Interviews and build a

network of contacts.

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 INFLUENCES OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL MUST BE UNDERSTOOD

WORKPLACE CONFIGURATIONS: PYRAMID, DIAMOND, AND A FRAME

There is apparently little room in the emerging diamond or A-Frame workplace configuration for unskilled
workers, so employment prospects are minimal for workers without technical skills, whether young or old.
“Core workers” have essential, valued core skills, so they tend not to be impacted by outsourcing or off-
shoring.

TWENT-TWO MILLION NEW JOBS (OUT OF 50 MILLION FOR 1996-2006) WILL REQUIRE ONLY 2-3
WEEKS OF SHORT-TERM, ON-THE-JOB-TRAINING:
These are, by and large, dead-end, low-paying jobs that will never pay workers a comfortable income.
Without an adequate education, students are likely to become part of the working poor, working for low
wages throughout their lives. As adults, they often have to work 2 and even 3 jobs to make ends meet.

PARENTING STYLES: AUTHORITARION, PERMISSIVE; AUTHORITATIVE; AND DISENGAGED

(Disengaged:) 25-30% of parents are not appreciably involved in their adolescents’ lives or in their
education. They may deeply want their children to succeed but ask few questions and/or take little
interest in their teens’ grades or course selections, in their friends, or in how they spend their spare time.
Research shows that 40% of parents never attend school programs.

ACHIEVEMENT ATTRIBUTIONS:
Successful students develop healthy attribution styles (based on hard work, consistent effort---factors
under their control.) Unsuccessful students tend to develop unhealthy attribution styles (they see luck,
easy assignments, easy teachers, or native ability as the cause of their occasional success----factors not
under their control.)

WORKING HOURS:
Adolescents working more than 20 hours per week experience a negative impact on their school
achievement. More than one-third of students who work say they take easier classes so that their job
won’t hurt their grades. As far as time on homework is concerned, the average American high school
student spends about four hours per week on homework outside of school. In other industrialized
countries, the average is four hours per day.

IMPACT OF PEER GROUPS---UNDUE OPTISMISM:

Research shows that Asian peer groups tend to help peers to study and achieve---to help bring up their
grades; most white peer groups urge peers to socialize. Many Black and Latino students don’t really
believe that doing poorly in school will hurt their chances for future success... Both white and Black
students who excel may be taunted by peers.

CONSTANT PRESSURE TO SOCIALIZE AND PARTICIPATE IN in MULTIPLE ACTIVITIES:

American high school students tend to be encouraged to socialize and to engage in numerous non-
academic activities: athletics, clubs, music, and out-of-school activities, resulting in adolescents not being
clear on their priorities. For European and Asian parents, school is the first priority.

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 HOW TO GET BETTER GRADES

Grades aren’t everything, but if your mentee is worried about his report card,
have him try some of these simple tips.

CREATE A STUDY PLAN: Figure out how much time you need to spend on each
subject every week, and then make a weekly schedule. Find out from your teachers
when major projects are due, and put them on a calendar. Once you determine how
much time you’ll need for these projects, you can use your calendar to figure out when
you need to start working on them.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK: Most teachers base grades on homework, and it’s easier to
keep up with your assignments than it is to dig yourself out of a hole.

LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES: When you get a bad grade, you probably get angry
and frustrated. That’s normal, but you should also use the experience to try to figure
out what went wrong so you can avoid the same mistake in the future. Did you
misunderstand the assignment? (Don’t make excuses!) Did you wait until the last
minute to study for a test? Was there some other problem? Once you determine what
went wrong, you can work on doing better the next time.

GET A TUTOR: If you are having problems in a particular subject, a tutor may be able
to help you get caught up. Do you know a student in a class ahead of you who might be
willing to help? If not, your school may be able to help you find one. (To the mentor: if
the school has not met the criteria of No Child Left Behind, there is funding available for
tutoring….so ASK!) Don’t expect overnight improvement, but personalized help can
really help.

STUDY WITH FRIENDS: Sometimes it’s hard to get started on homework, but if you
agree to meet with one or two friends to do your work you’ll have a built-in schedule.
WARNING: This won’t work if you and your friend decide to watch TV or play video
games instead of doing your homework!

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 ACTIVITIES FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL STUDENTS

 Learn to set goals

 Make a “Things to do” list
 Read a good book together; discuss it
 Read newspaper articles and discuss (local & national current
events)
 Watch a TV show and talk about it – values, reality vs. fiction
 Check homework
 Write letters during vacation
 Read and discuss articles on job-finding, interviewing, self-
confidence
 Share hobbies and interests
 Remember special occasions (cards on birthdays, holidays,
congrats, etc.)
 Go to the internet and research careers
 Talk about career possibilities (most are unaware of the myriad of
opportunities; post-secondary training/schooling, etc.
 Talk or learn about local history
 Look at brochures about higher education; see what school may
interest them
 Do web searches together and take virtual tours of colleges

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 TOP 10 WRITING MISTAKES TO AVOID IN HIGH SCHOOL

FUZZY FOCUS: Most writers often neglect the most important sentence in a term paper---the thesis statement, which
forms the writer’s key argument. Normally 1 or 2 sentences long, the thesis should sum up the paper’s major
message.

TOO MUCH INFORMATION: Every sentence in the body of the term paper should back up the writer’s thesis.
Extraneous information only distracts readers from the main points. A strong paper stays on message and refrains
from providing information that isn’t directly supportive of its thesis.

REDUNDANCY: If the writer has done his homework, there won’t be any room for repetition, but without preparing
the proper research materials, a writer tends to stretch the same ideas over and over. Each paragraph should
contain a new idea that modifies the thesis.

LACK OF STRUCTURE: Think of a term paper just like a building and the writer as the architect. It needs a
beginning, a middle, and an end to keep it from falling apart. Always “map out” your argument before starting the
paper. Outline it from beginning to end, highlighting each section with major arguments and briefly stating the
evidence that will be used to justify each statement.

LACK OF TRANSITIONAL PHRASES: Young writers often get into trouble when going from one idea to the next.
Without transitions, readers are likely to get lost or disinterested. Each paragraph needs a beginning, middle, and
end, the same as the overall body of the paper. Start off with simple transitional phrases; words such as “therefore”
and “finally” signal that the paper’s message is progressing. As a test, re-read the paper, paragraph by paragraph; if
each paragraph makes sense on its own, the paper is probably incorporating good transitions. If not, identify the
abrupt transitions and add phrases or sentences to introduce new ideas.

PERPLEXING PUNCTUATION: Young writers often avoid using proper punctuation or overuse it because they don’t
know the proper rules. Punctuation is like a traffic light---it instructs readers when to stop and when to go.
st
First, the writer needs to do a 1 draft, putting all thoughts down on paper, and then edit the draft using correct
punctuation. (Use “The Elements of Style” for reference.) Through repetition referencing, the writer will begin to
remember the grammar and punctuation rules on his own.

SPELLING ERRORS: Word processing applications have simplified spell-checking, but even the fanciest of gizmos
and gadgets can overlook a misspelled word. (The English language has many words that sound alike but are
spelled differently; i.e. for, fore, and four.) Review the final draft to ensure it doesn’t contain any silly spelling
mistakes that will cost serious points. Always have at least two people read the paper…this helps to catch mistakes.

PLAGIARISM: Young students sometimes don’t even realize they are copying someone else’s work. Learn the
proper way to credit reference materials used in the paper so that both authors get their proper due. (Don’t take
credit for information that you have researched. Readers are more convinced if they know you have done research
to back up your thesis.)

COMPLEX CONSTRUCTION: Young writers often try to impress their instructors by over-writing---using big words,
overwhelming the reader with too much detail, or riffing on abstract concepts. Writers should periodically ask
themselves throughout the process of writing a draft whether or not the information they are including is necessary for
their audience. If not, then get rid of it. (Also, remember that your instructor knows you and if you use vocabulary
that is not in line with your usual writing, it is a red flag that it may not be your own work.)

NO CONCLUSION: Writing a term paper can be a tiresome activity. By the end, many young scribes give up, leaving
the reader hanging. Give readers a hand, and end each paper with a few sentences that recap its major points.

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 TOP 10 TIPS FOR JOB SUCCESS

 START RIGHT

 HIT THE ROAD RUNNING

 SHOW A GOOD ATTITUDE

 BE DEPENDABLE, PUNCTUAL, AND INDUSTRIOUS

 TAKE TIME TO ADJUST

 THINK LIKE AN ENTREPRENEUR

 BE ALERT TO COMPANY POLITICS

 PRIORITIZE

 ACCEPT CRITICISM WITH GRACE

 FIND A MENTOR

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 TOP 10 TIPS FOR JOB SUCCESS, CONT’D.
Getting your middle school or high school mentee ready for going into a job starts with
both education and knowledge about “soft skills”….many of which are not addressed in
classrooms. You can help them by talking about these things at appropriate times, and
reinforcing them when you observe them happening. Hope this is helpful! (Also, most
of these tips apply to how they can do better in school.)

START RIGHT
Whether it’s your first job or your fifth, getting a strong start is very important. You will have a hard time overcoming
any poor first impressions people form about you.

Try these tips for getting started:

Always clock-in on time or early

Stick with the winners. Notice which co-workers take the lead and study what makes them
successful.
Be friendly and pleasant to all.
Reveal your personality, likes, and dislikes, a little at a time as you adapt to the new
environment.
Cultivate new habits and reinforce your best characteristics.

HIT THE ROAD RUNNING:

To “hit the road running” you should give value the first day and every day thereafter. You’ll leave a bad impression if
you sit around waiting for someone to tell you what to do. Try these ways to hit the road running:

Arrive early the first day and check in with your supervisor.
Ask, “What would you like me to do this morning?”
Figure out on your own how to complete the task that is given or ask a few questions to
get started.
Give the completed work to your boss for review.
Organize your desk and files while waiting for your boss’s review.

SHOW A GOOD ATTITUDE:

A good attitude helps you accomplish tasks you’d rather not do. Even when you don’t feel well at work, used the “fake
it till you make it” strategy to pull you out of a slump and push you over the top of any problem or assignment. A good
attitude is an “inside” job---inside of you.

These comments represent good attitudes:

“Whatever it takes!”
“Glad you’re back!
“Have a great day!”
“You bet!”
“Count me in!”
“I’ll be glad to help.”
“Good morning!”

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BE DEPENDABLE, PUNCTUAL, AND INDUSTRIOUS:
You will match the description in this tip if you can be counted on to do your best work every
time, meet deadlines always, and stick with a task until it is finished completely. Employers
will overlook some of your mistakes if they believe you are trying.

Look at these descriptions of a dependable, punctual, industrious employee:

Dependable: Follows through with a project from start to finish, even when it is tedious, difficult,
and more time-consuming than expected.
Punctual: Paces the work so a quality product or service is delivered in a timely manner.
Industrious: Stays busy with other, less pressing tasks after completing a major project
and while waiting for another.

TAKE TIME TO ADJUST:

Every time you begin a new job, you will have to make adjustments. This is true whether you
take a new job within the company where you currently work or one with a different company.
How well you adapt to new work settings will determine how fast you adjust.

You can make your adjustments easier by following these suggestions:

Organize the work.

Learn how to blend with new people.
Withhold judgments and impressions until you are familiar with the new environment.
Use your new skills to help meet your department’s objectives.
Set challenging but reasonable expectations for yourself.

THINK LIKE AN ENTREPRENEUR:

An entrepreneur is a person who owns his or her own business. It is well known that
entrepreneurs possess certain characteristics that make them successful. Though you may not expect to become an
entrepreneur, thinking like one will be helpful.

So….what are entrepreneurial traits?

Entrepreneurs have good business sense and are careful with money.
Entrepreneurs take calculated, but no foolish, business risks.
Entrepreneurs find out what people want, produce it, and deliver it when promised.
Entrepreneurs know how to take an idea and bring it to reality.

For example, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak built their first computer in their parents’ garage. Now look at Apple
Computer!

BE ALERT TO COMPANY POLITICS:

Politics is about relationships and instincts. Once you build good relations and people know
they can trust you, you can accomplish a great deal, even if your skills are not the best in the
company.

Instinct is what some people call a “gut feeling.” It’s perceiving correctly what is going on in a
situation. For example: if your boss is snappy or rude following a phone call, you might guess
that the bad mood has something to do with the call. A politically smart approach would be to
leave the boss alone for a while. Asking a question immediately would be bad politics.

Be a good communicator.
Say the right thing at the right time.
Help others be successful.
Be a good worker, not a social climber.
Be honest, but document your accomplishments.

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PRIORITIZE:
“Do the most important thing first” refers to prioritizing. In some companies, priorities are
established by superiors, and employees follow the orders. In others, the employees prioritize
tasks. Prioritizing is an important skill that anyone can learn with a little practice.

If you’ve never prioritized, you can excel by doing the following:

Write lists of things to do.

Start with “1” and number each item on the list according to its importance.
List the first five most important priorities on separate sheets of paper
On each sheet, write the major steps for doing the task. Make daily notes on the sheet about
what you do.
Use a computer instead of paper for greater efficiency. File everything.

ACCEPT CRITICISM WITH GRACE:

Nobody enjoys criticism, but in business, it’s part of the “job description.” Some managers and
supervisors are more skilled then others at offering criticism. But if you consider criticism an
opportunity to learn something that will help your job performance, then it becomes a favor,
even when not delivered “delicately.”

Ways to learn from criticism:

Listen to the message without focusing on the messenger.

Ask for suggestions that can help you better meet company expectations.
Follow through on the suggestions without becoming defensive.
Write about the criticism in a private journal in your home (never at work!), rather than
gossip about the criticism or vent about it to a friend.

FIND A MENTOR:
A mentor is someone who helps you become successful. If you are not assigned a mentor when
you start a job, observe the people you work with. There are usually several long-time employees who know the
ropes and will be willing to help you. Ask one of them a few questions and start building a relationship. Chances are
good that the person will turn into a mentor over time.

A good mentor will:

Train you in the specifics of the job.

Review and critique your work.
Give you examples to imitate.
Demonstrate how to accomplish the work.
Help you trouble-shoot.
Introduce you into company culture.

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 PRESENT YOURSELF

This section is provided for you to use in helping your mentee learn the basics about
how to best present themselves to others. Many do not realize that different situations
call for different types of dress and behavior.

Talking about this should start early…it should not wait until the teen years.

Use what is appropriate for the age of your mentee; adapt the tips for their situations
(school programs where there are invited guests, church, family social events,
community events).

And remember….YOU are the model!

 Appearance

 Dressing For Work

 Basic Courtesy

 Attitude

 Job Performance

BEFORE AN INTERVIEW AND BEFORE YOU START A NEW JOB, know what the
dress code is. If business attire is expected, wear it. If a uniform is required or there are
other dress requirements, do what’s expected. If necessary, shop for a new wardrobe.
(Buy good “basics” that mix and match…avoid “trendy” items.)

MAKE SURE YOU CLOTHES ARE CLEAN, PRESSED AND FIT YOU PROPERLY.
They should show off your image – smart, well put-together, and professional. (Do NOT
look like your are going to a party, a club, cleaning the house, working in the yard, or
“just hanging out!”)

SHOES should be polished and well maintained. NO FLIP FLOPS!

Some businesses require everyone in the building to wear an

identification card, not just employees. WEAR IT!

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 APPEARANCE
Your appearance is the first thing that people notice about you. Before you open your
mouth, shake hands, fill out applications, interview, or take tests, your appearance
already shapes how people think about you.

DRESSING FOR WORK

YOUNG WOMEN

Blouses (that fit well, not suggestive)

Skirts (not too short or tight)
Slacks (avoid denim and other casual materials)
Shirts (avoid casual materials and loud colors)
Dresses (avoid short or low-cut, and loud colors)
Shoes (avoid high heels and loud colors)
Jackets (avoid metals, studs, multiple zippers, and loud colors)
Pantyhose or dress socks with slacks
A scarf, earrings, pins, modest make-up, and soft nail colors are OK

YOUNG MEN

Shirts (that fit well, with collars)

Pants (avoid tight or baggy, denim and other casual materials)
Ties (if required by dress code)
Jackets (avoid sporty types)
Shoes (avoid sporty, sandals or tennis shoes)

FOR BOTH

The basic rule is CLEAN and NEAT

Observe the dress code
Bathe and brush your teeth before your work day
Hair must be clean and neat, in acceptable styles and colors

You may want to keep some of the following at work:

A comb Nail clippers Shoe Brush

Mouthwash Umbrella Extra tie or pair of hose
Make up Nail polish

Remember…Do ALL personal “fix-ups” in the restroom!

(From: “Present Yourself”, U.S. Dept. of Labor, Employment & Training Administration)

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 BASIC COURTESY
Courtesy and politeness go a long way in the work world.

WHEN YOU ANSWER THE PHONE at work or meet customers, you represent your
employer. Always say, “Good morning (or afternoon or evening). Thank you for calling
(name of your employer). May I help you?” If your employer has a specific way that
phones are answered…use it. And remember…speak clearly and slowly. The person
on the other end of the line shouldn’t need to ask you to repeat because they can’t
understand you.

WHEN YOU ENTER A ROOM WITH CO-WORKERS OR CUSTOMERS say, “Good

morning” and ask how they are feeling. When possible, ask if you can help someone.
When leaving, say, “Goodbye” or “Good night.” Always treat your co-workers
politely…don’t bring your sorrows, woes, or problems to work with you!

Be friendly and sociable…but don’t socialize too much when you are
supposed to be working!
Remember to say “Thank you” and “Please”….it will soon become a habit
and you won’t have to think about it.
Even if someone is rude to you, remain polite and keep your good attitude.

KEEP YOUR COOL, FOLLOW THE RULES!

In any job, there may be differences of opinion or heated discussions, but never lose
your cool. Anger, profanity, and violence are the fastest ways to be fired. Stealing and
fraud also will get you fired. Workplace rules about smoking, drugs, drinking, and other
behaviors are meant to be followed. Do not cross the line!

(From: “Present Yourself”, U.S. Dept. of Labor, Employment & Training Administration)

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 ATTITUDE
Your attitude is one of the most important things that employers consider when they
interview you or work with you. Having a great attitude often is as important as having
good skills.

What makes for a good attitude? Someone who:

Comes to work on time

Is motivated and energetic
Cares about the work they do
Is dependable
Searches for solutions and answers
Is creative
Mentors for tasks and accepts challenges
Wants to learn
Is a good team player
Is friendly and cheerful
Smiles
Is honest
Is well-organized
Is polite and courteous
Follows rules and obeys orders
Supports the boss and co-workers
Goes the extra mile

You may not be able to do all of these things all the time, but they are something to aim
for!

If your good attitude isn’t appreciated and you are looking for
another job, maintain your good attitude until your very last
day….someone is looking and that “someone” may be a reference!

(From: “Present Yourself”, U.S. Dept. of Labor, Employment & Training Administration)

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 JOB PERFORMANCE

The basic rule is: DO YOUR BEST.

Most employers make clear what you are supposed to do, and how you are supposed
to do it. Job descriptions sometimes are put it writing. You should perform these duties
and responsibilities to the best of your abilities.

EVALUATIONS are formal processes for employers to review how well you are doing
your job. They are also a good opportunity to learn from your boss how you can improve
your skills, your attitude, or your performance. Evaluations may occur once a year or
more often. Your performance may be rated on many of the following factors:

Attendance
Arrival and departure times
Appearance and grooming
Attitude
Dependability
Initiative
Creativity
Ability to work with others
Problem-solving abilities
Teamwork abilities
Following instructions and rules
Ability to learn
Ability to accept supervision
Specific job skills

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