When Calvin ~woke, he was, pardon' the expression, scared to

death.
"This must be it," he thought. "I must have died and gone to
heaven:~
He looked around. Everything ~ so vast and white and
hazy that it was, hard to teU for sure. But it looked li~, weU, it
looked like a big garage.
"Calvin Cautious?" a voice asked from behind him.
Calvin was startled. He spun around. Behind him stood a
large, bearded man, wearing white overalls. He was carrying a
clipboard.
'Where did you come from?" Calvin asked.
"I work here," the man said.
"But a moment ago you weren't here."
'We travel differently up here," the man said.
"Up here?" Calvin asked. 'Where is this place? Where am I?
Am I dead? Is this heaven?"
"No, no," said the man. "You're not dead, and this isn't
heaven. This is simply a way station, a checkpoint. You're here for
warranty service and to answer some questions on a new survey
we're conducting."
"A survey?" Calvin asked.
"Yes. It's a new policy. Ever since we sent the Ralph Nader
model down, we have to keep closer track ofconsumer satisfaction.
The ~anufacturer says we better clean up our act before we get
sued.
"Are you . .. are you? ..." Calvin asked.
"No. I'm not Him. I'mjust one ofthe Engineers. My job is to
ask you some tough questions, Calvin."
Calvin kept looking around. 'When can I go back?" he
asked. '
'When you answer the questions."
, 'Just any answer?" Calvin asked.
"No. You must provide me with the correct answers, Cal-,
vin." Suddenly The Engineer had Calvin'sfuU attention. "You see,
ifs a new policy. We see no sense wasting space down there on
equipment that won't be used properly."
"Do ... do you mean," Calvin stuttered, "that if 1 can't
answer the questions the way you want me to, I'll be dea ... I'll
be deaf ..." Calvin couldn't quite bring himself to say the word.
"That is correct," The Engineer said. "Your warranty will be
revoked, and you will be permanently recalled. Are you ready for
your questions, Calvin?"
"1 guess so," Calvin nervously answered.
"Very well, sit down, and we'll begin."
DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE
YOU WERE PUr HERE TO FAIL?
The Engineer examined his clipboard. "Tell me, Calvin, what
is your purpose down there?" .
"Well, 1 ... um ... you know," Calvin mumbled, "1 want
to work hard and not hUrl anyone, and 1 want to get along with
folks and stay out of trouble."
"But what about your talents, Calvin, your talents?"
"Well, what talents 1 have-and they're not much-l take
good care of. 1 kind of pace myself, you know."
"No! No! No!" The Engineer shouted. "Your answer is all
wrong. Don't you remember the story of the talents?"
"Yes, 1 think so," said Calvin. "The Manufacturer gave each
of three men a different set of talents. To one man He gave five
talents. To another man He gave two talents. And to the third He
gave but one talent."
"That's right," The Engineer said. "And some years later The
Manufacturer checked up on each of those three men. He checked
with the man who had five talents, and was pleased to find that he
had multiplied his five talents many times by working hard, and by
applying each one. He checked with the man to whom He had
given two talents, and was equally pleased to see that he had
labored hard, used his talents, and multiplied them. But when He
checked with the man to whom He had only given one talent, He
became very angry. For that man had buried his talent in the
name of protecting it. And it was then that The Manufacturer
uttered some of the harshest words He was ever to utter. 'Thou
wicked and slothful servant!' He shouted. 'How dare you not use
the gifts that 1 gave you!' Do you get the point of the story,
Calvin?"
"1 think so," Calvin said. "1 think so."
"[ don't know what we're going to do with you, Calvin. [ just
don't know."

The Engineer jotted a few notes on his clipboard. Then he

looked at Calvin. .
"Calvin," he asked, "who is in charge of your life?"
Calvin knew he had the right answer to this question. "I
am!" he said. ''I'm in charge ofmy life."
The ChiefEngineer remained expressionless. He made another
note on his clipboard. There was a long pause. Calvin grew
nervous.
"With, of course, a few exceptions," he finally said. "I mean,
it's not my fault the way my parents treated me when I was a kid.
You know, one time I came home and I wanted to tell them I had
made the football team and gotten an A on a test, and I couldn't
get either ofthem to listen to me. And I'm not responsible for the
fact that my boss is a real bear. He won't allow me to accept mUfh
responsibility. Once I proposed a new sales plan, and he assigned
a younger man to administer it. Yeah, I'm responsible for my
life-but with a few exceptions. I mean, sometimes you just don't
get the breaks, you know? Sometimes things just don't come your
way. But that's the way the ball bounces. That's the way the cookie
.crumbles. That's the way the mop flops ."
The Engineer jumped to his feet. He threw his clipboard to
the floor. "No! No! No!" he shouted. "When will you learn, Calvin? You're hopeless,
I say! Hopeless! There are no exceptions.
You must control your life, Calvin. You are totally responsible for
the results that you obtain. It's you, Calvin, you, not your mother,
not your father, not your boss. It's not the breaks, Calvin, that
control your life. It's you. Don't ever say, 'That's the way the ball
bounces. That's the way the cookie crumbles. That's the way the
. mop flops: Don't you understand, Calvin? You must bounce your
own ball. Crumble your own cookies. Flop your own mop. It's
totally up to you. I don't know what we're going to do with you,
Calvin. I just don't know:'