Topic 1(b) ESB 4083 Individual Counselling

Characteristics of helpers

Combs and his coworkers studied some basic beliefs about people and self-help by
contrasting various helpers from counseling, teaching, and the ministry with non-
helpers. The helpers perceived other people as able rather than unable to solve their
own problems and manage their lives. Other people were perceived also as
dependable, friendly, and worthy. Helpers had self-perceptions and traits distinct from
non-helpers, such as identification with people rather than things, adequate capacity to
cope with problems, rather than lack of problem-solving ability, and more self-revelation
and willingness to be themselves than self-concealing.

Rogers (1980) concluded that the helper’s theory and method were far less important
for an effective helping relationship than manifestations of the helper’s attitude. Rogers
also noted that it was the helpee’s perception of the helper’s attitudes that made a
difference in effectiveness. Research has confirmed that the helpful person needs to be
attractive, friendly person, someone with whom you feel comfortable, and someone
whose opinions you value. The helpful person inspires confidence and trust.
Professional helpers agreed that they must be examples of mature, actualized, well-
functioning people themselves. There must care deeply about themselves as well as
about others.

Growth facilitative characteristics of helper.

1. Helper empathy.
This is the principal route to understanding helpees and allowing them to feel
understood. It is important for the helper to see the world of the helpee as he/she
perceives it a.k.a. “the internal frame of reference”. While exercising empathy the
helper should not lose his/her own identity or objectivity. Empathy involves two
stages, firstly, is the “feeling into” experience. The second is more of a conitive
awareness of being in the place of the helpee, seeing the world as the helpees
sees it.

2. Helper warmth and caring.

Warmth is the condition of friendliness and considerateness manifested by
smiling, eye contact, and non-verbal attending behaviors. Warmth can be shown
by the helpers actions such as offering a chair, looking after the helper’s comfort,
and making the helpee feel valued. Caring is a term closely related to warmth,
but is regarded as more enduring and emotionally intense; showing compassion
and genuine concern about the welfare of the helpee.

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 Some helpers refer of warmth and caring as mild types of non-possessive love
for the helpee that meets needs of response and affection.

3. Helper openness.
At the beginning of a helping relationship the helpee is encouraged to disclose
their thoughts and feelings freely to the helper. This disclosure is related to the
helper’s openness. However, openness is paradoxical in that too much self-
revelation by the helper confuses the issue is to who is the helpee and who is the
helper. As a guideline, the helper should reveal only enough of himself/herself to
facilitate the helpee’s self-disclosure at the level of functioning desired.

4. Helper positive regard and respect.

It is an attitudinal set that expresses not only helpers’ deep concens for their
helpees’ welfare but also respect for their individuality and worth as a person.
Rogers (1961) expresses it as “unconditional positive regard” meaning
nonjudgmental and deeply valued attitude.

5. Helper concreteness and specificity.

Helper should be specific rather than general to facilitate accurate and clear
communication. The helper models concreteness, but also confronts the helpee
about specificity and clarity. He/she models good examples of specific
communication by using clear “I” statements. Normally, helpers encourage and
model specificity and concreteness of expression early in the process. When
helpee becomes more involved, helpers allow them more freedom to express
themselves in their natural verbal style.

6. Communication competence
Since helping is so dependent on clear communication, it follows that a key
characteristic of the effective helper is communication competence. Bandler and
Grinder (1982) indicate how helping clarifies helpees’ sentences, gives helpees
better ways to describe themselves, and provides them with sharper descriptive
thoughts about their problems.

7. Intentionality
Ivey’s (1994) concept of intentionality describes a helper who is capable of
choosing responses to helpees from a wide range of possibilities. It is assumed
that there is no one right helping response to a person.

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Helper personal characteristics

The following helper characteristics determine the nature of a relationship.

1. Awareness of self and values.

Helpers need a broad awareness of their own values positions. They must be
able to answer these questions: Who am I? What important to me? What is the
social significance of what I do? What are my beliefs about people? This
awareness aids helpers in being honest with themselves and their helpees and
assists them also in avoiding unwarranted or unethical use of helpees for their
own need satisfactions.
2. Awareness of cultural experiences
It is vital for the helpers to know about the similarities and differences of his/her
culture and the helpees. People such as prisoners, drug abusers, children, older
adults, those who are divorced, those with physical or mental disabilities, the
poor or racial minorities may all have life experiences different from those of the
helper. Fear of not being adequate as a helper and fear of rejection by the helpee
are key deterrents. Understanding helpee’s histories and present problems,
language and gender roles, neighborhoods of origin, religion, and family
backgrounds might help to overcome obstacles. Helper should also be aware of
the helpee’s world view

3. Ability to analyze the helper’s own feelings

The helper should be aware and also able to control his/her feelings to prevent
the projection of needs. There are fears about performing well enough to meet
helpee’s expectations.

4. Ability to serve as model and influencer

Many research studies show the power of models and social for acquiring
socially adaptive as well as maladaptive behaviors. This question might arise:
Should helpers be models of decorum, maturity, and effectiveness in their
personal lives? There are 2 responses to this question, firstly, helpers must have
fulfilling lives, otherwise they will tend to use the relationship too much for
satisfaction of their own unmet needs. Secondly, helpers’ credibility may be
questioned if they have chaotic personal lives.

5. Altruism and compassion

Helpers expect some satisfaction to maintain their helping behaviors. Helpers
have a central value of concern with people rather than things and with an
altruistic stance moving outward toward helping rather than narcissistic focus on
themselves.

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6. Strong sense of ethics
Helpers keep confidential matters to themselves and will not divulge them to
others unless
those matters are considered as materials that must be released by court order.
Helpers will do nothing to harm the helpees.

7. Responsibility
Responsible helper behavior is knowing when to forestall self-revelations or
expressions of feeling. One of the great dilemmas of helping is that we can’t be
helpful if helpees are not open, yet the most helpful thing we might do is to
discourage them from reveling too much about themselves.

8. Ability to empower others

A helper should focus on the helpee’s internal strengths and confidence so that
he/she will be able to make positive life choices. He/she should try to empower
the helpee and this could be done through helper’s trus t, collaboration, and shared
power.