Jeremy Barry

Ms. Michko

AP Langauge and Composition

8 June 2023

Born in the USA Revision Reflection

Reading this essay, it became very apparent that my writing had gotten significantly

better than at the beginning of the year. One main theme throughout my original essay was that I

failed to be concise. In the first paragraph, one of the first things that I noticed was that I said,

“Stand up for his opinions, even if they were controversial” rather than just simply saying,

“Stand up for his controversial opinions.” This switch allowed for my essay to be more concise

and sophisticated and it also allowed me to add on additional details so it wouldn’t become a

run-on sentence. This switch significantly helped my essay in both aspects of writing and content

as it helped my line of reasoning become more sufficient and it allowed me to come off as more

sophisticated, ultimately helping me check off more boxes on an AP rubric or a normal rubric.

Another thing I worked on was implementing high-quality evidence. One important element of

writing I learned about this year was the importance of strong, persuasive evidence. Utilizing

compelling evidence, helps me support my argument more than anything else can. In this

particular case, I made a claim about how Bruce Springsteen urges his audience to recognize the

obstacles that veterans face in their lives but I failed to back that claim up with any tangible

evidence. By adding the quote, I'm ten years burning down the road. Nowhere to run ain't got

nowhere to go” I provide valuable insight into how Springsteen’s rhetoric urged his audience to

recognize the obstacles that veterans face. This addition of extremely strong evidence

demonstrates my growth as a writer in AP Lang as before this year, and at the beginning of the
year, I would’ve never thought to put so much evidence into a paper but knowing the importance

of it, I do it all the time now. Furthermore, having strong and persuasive evidence connects back

to the argumentative essay as the entirety of the essay relied on having solid evidence, ultimately

impacting the rubric in a big fashion.

Another aspect of my writing that I’ve improved over the course of this year is my ability

to focus on the main ideas and not blur the focus of my writing with irrelevant details that may

seem loosely related. A great way that I have effectively managed to do this is by perfecting my

concluding sentences for each paragraph as each of these reinforces the meaning of what I was

just writing about. Before I took this course, this is a strategy I wouldn’t have even considered

using but now after a year of being an AP student, I can confidently say that my paragraphs are

more relevant to the main ideas of my overall paper which in turn, leads to better content.

If I had to pick one area where I improved most this year, it would definitely my ability to

link ideas together and think critically. This year, I have been able to create more cohesive and

logically structured arguments in my essays rather than just writing down a series of disjointed

thoughts. This newly acquired ability of mine has helped me revise this essay as it allowed for

me to link certain parts of the song with other parts. This skill is extremely useful it can benefit

me in other classes, as in history essays, connections across time periods display your argument

in a positive way and, in argumentative essays, your line of reasoning in better if you can make

these type of advanced connections.