Handout

Name of Short Drama: World record ( Short Script)

Scene: Is it a big TV studio

Characters: Daisy Hargreave who is the wife of Albert, Mabel Phillips, a man, Michael
Moonshine, Albert Hargreaves

Michael: “Thank you. thank you, thank you. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the program
that gives you the chance to break a world record. We have here in the studio tonight two
people who are trying to break world records. Let’s meet them and see what they’re doing.
Tell me, sir, what is your name?”

Albert: “Albert Hargreaves.”

Michael: “Albert Hargreaves. Well, Albert, what are you doing?”

Albert: “I’m standing on one leg in a bucket of hot soup.”

Michael: “Ladies and gentlemen, he’s standing on one leg in a bucket of hot soup!”

(The audience applauds.)

Michael: “Albert, how long have you been standing on one leg in that bucket of hot soup?”

Albert: “I’ve been standing here for six hours and fifty-eight minutes.”

Michael: “And what is the world record for standing on one leg in a bucket of hot soup? ”

Albert: “The world record is seven hours and three minutes, Michael.”

Michael: “Seven hours and three minutes! And you’ve been standing there for six hours and
fifty-nine minutes now. Well, Albert, you’ve only got four minutes to go!”

(The audience applauds.)

Michael: “Albert, you’ve been standing on one leg in that bucket of soup for almost seven
hours now.”

Albert: “That’s right, Michael.”

Michael: “Tell me – is the soup still hot?”

Albert: “Yes. My wife’s been coming in every half-hour with more hot soup. Here she comes
now.”

(Mrs Hargreaves comes in.)

Daisy: “Here you are, Albert.”

(She pours some hot soup into the bucket.)

Albert: “Aaaargh!”

Michael: “Well, I’m glad it’s your leg in the soup. Albert, and not mine.”

(The audience laughs.)

Michael: “Now we have another contestant in the studio, a very charming young lady. Can
you tell the viewers your name?”

Mabel: “Mabel Phillips.”

Michael: “Mabel Phillips. Well, Mabel, what are you doing?”

Mabel: “I’m leaning on this brush.”

Michael: “She’s leaning on a brush, ladies and gentlemen!”

(The audience applauds.)

(The audience laughs.)

Michael: “Well, Albert has been standing on one leg in his bucket of hot soup for seven hours
and one minute, so he’s only got two more minutes to go! Poor Mabel’s got a long way to
go…And here is another young man – and he hasn’t got any trousers on.”

(The audience laughs.)

Michael: “Now, sir, what are you doing?”

Man: “I’m looking for my trousers.”

Michael: “I can see that. And how long have you been looking for your trousers?”

Man: “I’ve been looking for my trousers for five minutes.”

Michael: “And what’s the world record?”

Man: “Pardon?”

Michael: “What’s the world record for looking for trousers?”

Man: “I’m not trying to break a world record. I took my trousers off to have a bath, and when
I got out of the bath, my trousers were gone.”

Michael: “I see. Get out of the way! We’re on television!”

The audience laughs.

Michael: “Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen. Now back to Albert Hargreaves. Albert,
you’ve been standing in that bucket of hot soup for seven hours and two minutes. Only one
more minute to go, and you will break the world record. And here comes Mrs Hargreaves
with more hot soup!”

Daisy: “Here you are, Albert.”

(She pours some more soup into the bucket.)

Albert: “Aaaargh!”

Michael: “Tell me. Albert, how does it feel?”

Albert: “Hot!”

(The audience laughs.)

Michael: “No, no, no! How does it feel to be approaching the world record?”

Albert: “Well, Michael, I’ve been dreaming about this moment, I’ve been thinking about
nothing else”

Michael: “Yes, Albert.”

Albert: “I’ve been practising every day.”

Michael: “Yes, Albert.”

Albert: “Twice on Sundays!”

Michael: “Yes – and here comes Mrs Hargreaves”

Albert: “Oh no, not again!”

Michael: “It’s all right, Albert, she’s only looking at her watch!”

(The audience laughs.)

Daisy: “Albert! Albert! Only ten seconds to go! Ten, nine, eight, seven (Mabel pushes
Albert.)”

Mabel: “(Ironically) Congratulations, Albert!”

Albert: Aaaargh!”

Albert falls over.

Michael: “Well, ladies and gentlemen, Albert Hargreaves hasn’t broken a world record,

but he has broken…his leg!”

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