Hi I am Malachi and I am addict in recovery.

 
I grew up fast in a abusive home with my mom. Who was a addict which landed me
and my brothers in foster care at the age of 10. I was bounced around from home
to home. My father was working on getting us back till he got sick with cancer. He
became friends with my foster parents and asked them to take care of us because
he didn't have long to live. He passed away 20 years ago. That hurt bad my dad
was my hero. So I was adopted a couple months later after my father passed. A
few years later my adopted parents found out that my biological mom's addiction
had caught up to her and she was in the hospital dieing. So I got to see her before
she passed 16 years ago. I started useing at the age of 15 smoking and drinking
trying to find something to help cope with all the pain and lost in my life. By the
age of 17 I had been expelled from school and had turned to harder drugs and the
streets. This turned in to 15 years of hard use of any drug or substance I could get
my hands on. To selling drugs, DUI's , OWI's, stealing, lieing, cheating, broken
relationships all the above. My life style then had landed me in and out of jail
roughly 15 time if not more. On 7-24-17 I had been sentenced to my first felony. I
was put on a year and a half felony probation. Six months alcohol teather and
required to go to three AA meetings a week. So I stopped drinking becuase thats
what they wanted but that didn't stop my drug use. I went to meetings so I could
get my paper signed but I didn't listen or pay attention I was just doing what I had
to do to get off paper. In the beginning of 2019 I was let off paper. I was back to
doing me. On 8/17/19 I had been pulled over again and busted with meth. Leading
up to this last bust I remember thinking to myself you know what this life style did
to your mom and how it caught up to her is this what you want? But I could not
stop by myself I needed help. I stopped useing everything on 12/2/19 and On
1/6/2020 I was sentenced to Drug court the one of the biggest blessings I could
have ever got. They put me in a program that was going to hold me accountable
and they gave me all the tools I was going to need but now it was up to me to put
the work in. I had 80 days clean then I went to the gas station bought some cbd
cigarettes that I had herd you could smoke and smoked the whole pack. Sure
enough the next day I had to drop and dropped dirty for THC. I was pissed at
myself. I went to a NA meeting after came clean about my slip and they told me
everything would be okay just get back up and brush your self off and keep
fighting one day at a time. That ment the world so I did. My new clean date is
2/21/20. Some people ask me why would you start your clean time over for CBD I
say because I knew what I was doing and I am working a honest program. If I lie to
myself about my clean date I am setting my self up for failure all over again. Since
then I graduated drug court last may. Got off felony probation 6 months early. Met
the girl of my dreams who helps push me to be a better man daily. Expecting my
first child in a month. I am truly blessed. This what I have done to make this life in
recovery work for me I have taken everyday of my recovery seriously. I have had to
completely change my life. The biggest thing I did was stop with the fox hole
prayers God save me one more time and rebuild my relationship with God. I had to
learn to let go and let GOD. Started attending church again. I also had to change
my people, places, and, things. I had to become open to suggestions and about
me. I got a sponsor. I work a the NA program and the steps. I do the service work.
Chair meetings. Help at the Recovery Zone as much as I can help in the
community and surround my self with my recovery family. I try to do something
each day for my recovery to remind myself of the life I am trying to live in recovery.
My recovery is like doing maintenance on a car if I don't keep up on it regularly I
will be broke down on the side of the road again. I just hit my 39months clean a
week ago I always ask for two key tags when i get my clean tags one for me and
one to take to my mom's grave because I know how hard of a fight this is. I thank
God daily for giving me the strength to keep pushing and fighting. I am so thankful
to be present for life today. I am thankful for the people God has put in my life to
push me to be a better man. I will continue to grow and fight daily for this amazing
life I have found in Recovery!