Cohabitation Before Marriage

410982025 應外三 鄭晟辰

Review by Emma 410982030 應外三 金彤

Marriage is hard. With the escalating divorce rate, almost everyone nowadays is
trying to figure out the key to a successful marriage. But the truth is that, couples are living a
far different life than the old times. Obsolete viewpoints are being refreshed with new
perspectives. Having kids or sharing financial plans premaritally has become norms of the
present. Despite having the unchanged urge of holding a successful marriage, couples are
now coming up with new ideas to strengthen their relationships. A new lifestyle that was
once perceived as a taboo comes naturally to the younger generation—cohabitation before
marriage. With many stepping into the discussion of its feasibility, this phenomenon remains
to swap the couples worldwide. Though living together and separately both benefit
relationship in different ways. Cohabitation is considered to be a compelling method to
practice your future marriage life. The question is, why? Financial aspect—the money spent
on to maintain the relationship, is to be considered in the discussion. Also, the realistic view,
which focuses on emotional stability and practicality, will be reflected in both situation.
Exploration of cohabitation will be discussed through an economic and pragmatic lens.

To motivate couples to move in together, there must be one prerequisite—the benefits

in money. A survey of 2,000 Americans responds that financial security is among the most
attractive traits in a love interest, selected by 42% of respondents. Sharing financial
advantages contributes to the universality of cohabitation. Plus, with many chooses to leave
home after finishing education, increasing number of people are paying rental money for
apartments near workplaces. For couples under the age of thirty, they often have no capacity
to own a house but the money to rent one. Daily life supplies such as tissue papers, groceries,
water and electric can also be shared by two. It is reasonable to cohabitate—after all, with
less financial pressure, the higher amount of spare money can be spent on lifting the life
quality.

But it is not only the money that matters. According to the Pew Research Center,
almost 70% of cohabitators has expressed their vision of seeing themselves living together as
a step towards marriage. Since engagement takes up immense courage and thorough
consideration, turning into the option of a “safe-play” creates an environment to simulate
couple’s future. This opportunity offers them a chance to share experiences, daily routines,
and personal values with one another. Furthermore, the companionship offered by
cohabitation has not only led to the wanting of commitment, but also the improvements on
the sex lives. According to the Center of Sexual Health & Wellness, the bond created
between couples when moved in together can eventually result in a more passionate and
fulfilling sex life. With the physical and emotional aspects being covered, the statistics above
spontaneously indicates that the times couple spent on each other on a cohabitated basis are
translated into mutual understanding and consensus.

By contrast, living separately gives couples extra weight financially. Maintaining a

relationship surely requires personal space, but the cost of it might be a little too expensive.
Money spent on dates, meetups, transportations cannot be filtered out by the rosy lens of
love. To support the romance, couples who do not live together often have to find
amusements or pastimes outside of their personal space. Movies, dinners and entrée fees to
the fun events are accounted for the additional expenses. One of the few advantages to
separate your finance with your partner is the freedom of independent management. You can
arrange your spending and saving without anyone’s consent. But it is always possible for
couples to sort out differences on money distribution with communication and mutual
understanding.

Moreover, people around the age of thirties tend to be devoted in the rise of their
careers. Therefore, it is hard for couples who are both working a 9 to 5 job to maintain a high
quality connection after all the burnouts from work. Time spent on texting and phone calls
provides neither the stability nor convenience for the relationship foundation. Apart from the
voluntary hassle to keep in touch, intimacy also plays a big part in relationships. According to
a French survey done in 2005(Érfi-GGS survey), only 22% of relationships are still ongoing
after three years of non-cohabitation. Most of the time, relationship is based on the sharing of
thoughts, without the environment to do so, the inconsistency will lead to the creation of a
gigantic gap between each other. One of the only few benefits this lifestyle provides is the
room for personal space. Many people have replied to the idea of how personal spaces
assisted the development of their relationships. But if the couple is holding a goal of
engagement as the final term of the relationship, living apart will not advance the evolution of
relationship phase, but, more precisely, straining it at an underdeveloped chapter. Also, the
lack of physical touch can also result in the inadequacy of companionship, which can lead to
anxiety, unhealthy attachments, or even the loss of self-love.

Whether to cohabitate or practice persistent separation comes as a big decision for

couples. Lifestyle can differentiate among people with reasons such as goals, jobs, and
financial reasons. While enjoying your romantic relationship, thinking about the next step for
you and your loved one is always a course to be confronted with. If marriage is in your future
vision, take detailed consideration before long-term separation. Most importantly, always
make an effort on consistent communication, mutual understanding and future planning.
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